And Then You Kiss (Crested Butte Cowboys Series Book 3) (20 page)

“And for some reason he decided to leave rather than talk to her
after
the accident.”

“He decided to leave
because
of the accident.”

“This is getting tiresome Jace. The two of you need to stop trying to keep this secret. It’s ridiculous.”

Maybe Tucker’s part of it needed to be said, but Jace wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to talk about the role he played in it all. Tucker didn’t even know that side of the story, and if he did, he’d never forgive Jace.

Renie walked over and rubbed his shoulders. “Jace, this isn’t like you. Whatever it is, get it out. Talk about it.”

“I wish I could.”

“Maybe we need to go for a ride. That worked for me.”

Jace laughed. It had worked for her. The day he asked her to go for a ride and tell him everything she loved, and everything she didn’t, about Billy Patterson, was the day they both realized how much she loved him. That was also the day Jace realized she’d never love him the way she loved Billy.

“This is a little different.”

“I don’t think it matters how it’s different. It matters how it’s the same.”

“And how’s that?”

“There’s something going on with you that you’re keeping inside, not talking about, maybe not even acknowledging your feelings about. That’s the same.”

Everything she said was true. He doubted very much he’d ever be able to talk to anyone about it. Not even her.

***

She was asleep when Tucker crept into her room. The nurse had just left, which meant he had at least an hour before anyone came to check on her again.

He hated to wake her, but they had to talk. He had to talk anyway, and she had to listen. He sat and watched her sleep. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this. The night they’d spent together, when they conceived the baby growing inside her, he’d watched her while she slept. She was as exhausted then as she was now. As strung out too.

She hadn’t had much of a break between then and now. Pain, surgeries, pregnancy, almost losing the baby and above all else—worry. The whole time she was going through all of those things, she also worried about him. He knew it as well as he knew his own name.

There was another thing he knew. She loved him. She was angry, and hurt, but she loved him.

She’d listen to him when she was ready. He didn’t need to do this tonight. He’d let her sleep, get the rest she and the baby needed. He longed to rest his hand on the swell of her stomach, like he had when he first saw her. If he did that, though, he’d wake her.

He’d been thinking about himself, not about her. He wanted to tell her, he wanted her to understand, he wanted her to listen to him. But what about what she wanted? He was sure there were a lot of things she wanted.

He imagined she had wanted him to be there for her, to hold her and comfort her, but he hadn’t been here to do any of that.

“I love you Blythe,” he whispered. “I love you so much. I’m going to show you how much.”

Tucker crept back out of the room as silently as he had come in.

Blythe had been holding her breath, waiting, waiting, waiting, to see what he’d do, what he’d say. He sat so quietly, for so long, she wasn’t sure why he came in. She hadn’t decided what she’d do if he tried to talk to her. She wanted to hear what he had to say. She prayed whatever it was would be enough that she could forgive him. More than anything she wanted to forgive him. She wouldn’t make it easy on him. He didn’t deserve for it to be easy.

He told her he loved her. That was almost enough by itself for her to forgive him. But she knew that if she let him off that easy now, eventually she’d have to get answers. By then he might not be willing to give them.

She had to stand her ground. He had to tell her why he left, and what happened in his past that made him leave all the time. He also had to promise her he’d never leave again, and he had to be convincing enough when he did, that she believed him.

He’d done well tonight. He sneaked in, against her wishes, but he believed she was sleeping and he didn’t wake her.

***

When Tucker came out of Blythe’s hospital room, Mark was waiting for him.

“Thought you left.”

“I came back. Come with me,” he said, motioning toward the door. Tucker hesitated.

“Please.”

Tucker followed Mark toward the elevator.

“Where are we going?”

“To the chapel. It’s on the second floor.”

“I’m not much of a praying man,” Tucker admitted.

“You will be today.”

There wasn’t anyone in the chapel when they went in.

“Have a seat,” said Mark, motioning to the pew. He walked around and sat in the pew in front of Tucker and rested his arm on the back of it.

“It’s clear to me that there’s more going on here than you being an asshole.”

Tucker shook his head and looked at the ceiling. “Depends on how you look at it, I guess.”

“Do you have anyone you can talk to?”

Did he? He had all those years ago, but it hadn’t helped. Would it help now? Doubtful. And even if he thought it would, he wouldn’t know how to go about finding someone. Assuming Mark was suggesting a shrink. “No,” he finally answered.

“Son, it’s obvious you care about my daughter. It’s also obvious that something happened in your past that is keeping you from moving forward with your future.”

“That about says it all.”

“So the question is, what are you going to do about it? From where I sit, you have two choices. You can be in my daughter’s life, and your child’s life, or you can run again.” Mark waited for Tucker to respond. When he didn’t, he continued. “But whatever decision you make, it’s gotta be one or the other. Blythe will not be able to handle you dropping in, and then dropping back out again.”

Tucker put his head in this hands. “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing by staying.”

“Tell me what I can do to help you.”

Tucker sat up and looked at Mark. “I don’t know. I don’t even know how to help myself.”

“That’s an honest answer. I think the road to anything you want in life starts there. What if I found someone for you?”

“What do you mean? Somebody to talk to?”

Mark nodded his head.

Why not? He wasn’t sure it would help, but wasn’t Blythe worth the try? “Okay.”

“Is there anything else you want to tell me before we head back?”

“I’m sorry I left. I honestly believed I was doing the right thing for everybody. I didn’t know she was pregnant. If I had, I like to think I might’ve done things differently, but I can’t say for sure.”

“Another honest answer,” Mark put his hand on Tucker’s shoulder. “That’s progress.”

Tucker was still sitting outside, on that damn bench, when Jace came back. He didn’t care what his brother said, he’d pick him up and throw him into the truck if he had to.

“Still keepin’ the bench warm?”

“Nah. I’m ready to go.”

“You are? Why didn’t you call me or somethin’?”

“I was enjoying the quiet a little longer.”

“Did you try to see her?”

“I saw her.”

“You did? Did she kick you out?”

“She was sleeping. I didn’t want to wake her. There’s time.”

Jace was as confused as he was impressed with Tucker’s attitude.

“Can we get something to eat?”

“Uh sure. I ate, but we can get you somethin’.”

“Anything is fine. I don’t care what. Then I need to sleep.”

Jace drove across the street, where there was a deli. He reserved a room in a hotel not far from the hospital. Tomorrow they’d try again to get Blythe to talk to them.

Tucker was asleep before Jace came out of the bathroom. Fully-clothed, boots still on, stretched out diagonally across the bed.

It took Jace longer to fall asleep. He hoped his brain was fried enough that he wouldn’t dream tonight. He wanted to sleep, like the dead, as long as his body would let him.

***

Blythe was finishing breakfast when Renie walked in the hospital room.

“Good morning!”

“Good morning to you too. Where’s that sweet little girl?”

“With your mom. She’s practicing the grandma thing.”

Blythe laughed. “I wonder if she’ll let the baby call her grandma.”

“I think your mom will come up with something unique.”

Renie was right. Her mom would never settle for something as mundane, and typical, as grandma. It would be as interesting to see what name she came up with for herself as it would be to decide what to name her baby.

Oh God, she had to think of a name for the baby. Tucker should have some say in it, shouldn’t he? And what would the baby’s last name be? Would it be Cochran, or would it be Rice?

She hadn’t thought about any of this while Tucker was gone. It was far too complicated. Had she gone the traditional route, like Brooke had, she’d be married already. Her husband wouldn’t have left her for the first four months of her pregnancy, and she wouldn’t have to worry about what the baby’s last name was. She hated to think Brooke was right about anything. But if she’d been here, Blythe would’ve had to agree with her. Good thing she wasn’t. That made Blythe laugh.

“What?”

“I was thinking about the lectures Miss Brooke would be subjecting me to if she was here.”

“Oh gosh…” Renie started mimicking some of the things they both thought Brooke would be saying.

Bree arrived in the middle of it. “You two sound like Brooke,” which only made them laugh harder. Blythe was holding her stomach she was laughing so hard.

Bree had to laugh. It was good to see her sister happy.

“Renie, I wish you could stay closer to home. You’re good for her.”

“I won’t be gone that long. I promised my mom I’d help when the baby’s born, but as soon as I can, I’ll come back, I promise.”

“Sorry to put a damper on the mood in here, since it’s so nice to see you having fun, but I’ve been asked to tell you that the Rice brothers are downstairs.”

“Ugh, no, don’t be such a buzz kill.” Blythe was still smiling at least.

“Tell me how you’re feeling about them.”

Renie’s expression got serious. She pulled a chair over closer to the bed. “I talked to Jace last night.”

“Yeah, and what did Jace have to say?”

“He didn’t know where Tucker was. You have to know that. He wouldn’t have lied to you. That isn’t who he is.”

“There’s a part of me that knows that, or at least wants to believe it. The truth is, I’m so mad at both of them. Sometimes I wish I never met either one of them.” Blythe stopped for a minute and rubbed her belly. “But if I hadn’t met them, I wouldn’t be having this baby, and right now, this baby is the most important person in the world to me.”

Bree started to cry. Her little sister sounded so grown up, so mature, and so grounded in having this baby.

“Oh don’t cry! You’re gonna make me cry. And I’m not sad. I’m mad. And if I cry, it’ll be pathetic. I want to be mean, and stubborn, and make Tucker Rice pay for…”

For what? For hurting her? Leaving? She didn’t know what she wanted to make him pay for, or why.

“Do you want to see him?”

“I don’t know. I do, and I don’t. I’m mad, I’m not kidding about that. I’m hurt. And I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of sweetie?” Bree asked the question, but Renie reached out and took Blythe’s hand.

“That he won’t want to stay.”

“I don’t think it’s about want,” Renie said. “The key is in getting him to talk about what happened. Obviously there was another accident. I’m guessing that whoever the girl was, died in the accident. I think we’ve all figured out that much.”

“I would say you’re right,” added Bree. “But there’s gotta be more to it.”

“It’s the more to it that you have to try to get him to talk about.”

“There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to know. I mean, what if he really loved her? What if he loved her more than he loves me? Maybe that’s why he keeps leaving, what he wants is her, and he can’t have her, because she’s dead. And he thinks he wants me, but then when he’s with me, I don’t measure up.”

“No, that isn’t it at all. Not even close.”

Bree and Renie had been so focused on listening to Blythe, they didn’t hear the door open or Tucker walk in.

Renie released Blythe’s hand and stood. Bree stood too. They both looked at Blythe, who nodded her head that it was okay for them to leave.

“What is it then?”

This was it. This was his chance to tell her. He took a deep breath and sat down in the chair Renie vacated.

***

Jace was pacing when Bree and Renie got off the elevator.

“Is he up there?”

“Uh, good morning Jace, how are you?” joked Renie.

“Yes, he’s up there,” answered Bree, giving him a break.

“How is she?”

“Mad at him, but willing to listen I think.”

“I hope he’s willing to talk,” added Renie.

Me too, thought Jace. Although Tucker wasn’t the only one who needed to talk. He needed to tell his brother the role he played in what happened that night. And after he did, he wasn’t sure he’d see Blythe, or the baby, or any of these people again. If Tucker refused to forgive him, it would be Jace’s turn to leave.

Renie’s phone pinged and she pulled it out of her pocket. “Oh my God,” she shouted. “My mom’s water broke. I’m here and my mom is having her baby. Shit. What am I going to do?”

“I’ll drive you there,” Jace told her.

“You’re sure? I mean, should we drive? By the time I caught a flight, we could be there already. I’m so nervous. I have to go pick up Willow. She’s with Paige and Mark.”

Jace chuckled. “Let’s get on the road. The longer you stand here, the longer it will take us to get there.”

“Tell Blythe, will you Bree?”

“Of course—now, go!”

“And call your mom and tell her we’re on our way.”

“I’ll tell her to have Willow in the driveway, ready to go.”

“Thanks! Oh my gosh, my mom is having a baby.”

When they got to the hospital in Gunnison, her mother was still in labor. She hadn’t missed it. “Do you mind?” she asked Jace, handing him Willow, and running toward the delivery room.

“Of course not,” he answered, not that she could hear him, she was running as fast as she could.

“Okay, little girl, this is new for me. Let’s see what we’ve got in here for you to play with.”

Renie had two bags packed with stuff for Willow. She told Jace to leave one in the truck and bring the other one in. When Willow got tired, he could put her in the car seat and take her for a short drive and she’d fall asleep. He laughed when she told him not to leave her in the car alone, and if they sat in the parking lot while she slept, to make sure the car didn’t get too warm.

“She doesn’t have too much faith in me, but we’re gonna be fine, aren’t we Willow?”

Willow smiled at him and started talking. She wanted him to read her a story, he understood almost all her words that time. He was making progress, or maybe she was.

Three hours and many snacks later, Willow screeched when she saw Renie walking toward them. “Mamamama!” she yelled and held her arms out.

“Well?”

Renie was smiling from ear to ear. “As she predicted, she had a little girl. She’s beautiful Jace.” Renie had tears in her eyes. “Oh, I’ve got to call Billy!”

“Right here sweet girl,” Billy walked in as if on cue. Renie ran over and threw her arms around him. “Sorry I didn’t get here sooner.”

“It’s okay.”

“Mama cryin’,” Willow explained to Jace in a very matter-of-fact way. “Mama happy dada’s here now.” She was talking to Jace as though he couldn’t possibly understand the nuances of life.

“Glad to see you were able to keep our baby alive Rice.”

Renie slugged him. “Leave him alone. He did great.” She looked at Jace. “Thank you, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“My pleasure, and I mean that sincerely.” Jace ruffled Willow’s hair. “We had fun, didn’t we Willow?”

Willow looked at Renie. “We had fun Mama.”

“Hey, what’s her name?” asked Billy.

“Caden Avery,” answered Renie.

“Ah now, isn’t that a pretty name.”

Renie loved the way Billy made the simplest words sound so beautiful.

“I should call Paige and Mark. And who else? There must be other people I’m supposed to call.”

“Didn’t she give ya a list?”

“Oh you’re right, she did. What would I do without you Billy Patterson?”

“You ain’t never findin’ out darlin’.” He kissed her long and hard enough that it made Willow giggle and Jace blush.

***

Bree threw her keys down on the kitchen island. She opened up the fridge, but didn’t feel like eating. She sat down on a stool by the island and rested her chin on the hands.

“What’s up?” asked Lyric in her little too happy way.

“Nothing.”

“Oh. Let’s see, what could this be about? Jace maybe?”

“Jace? Why would anything be about Jace?”

“Come on, I see the way you look at him, and the way he looks at you. There’s more to the story than you two not liking each other. You fight because you’re both fighting the attraction.”

“That couldn’t be further from the truth Lyric. Jace is in love with my sister. As for me, may I remind you that my husband died less than six months ago? Attraction isn’t something that’s part of my vocabulary.”

Bree got up, stormed off to her bedroom, and slammed the door behind her. She threw herself on the bed and started to cry. Even she didn’t know where her angst was coming from, but she knew it had nothing to do with Jace Rice. It was more that her life was in flux, she didn’t know what she was supposed to do next.

Why had Zack volunteered for that deployment, and why did he, of all people, have to die? Those were questions that plagued her non-stop. Thoughts of Jace Rice did not plague her, there was no reason for her to give the man a second thought, let alone a first.

***

Tucker wished Blythe’s gaze wasn’t quite so penetrating.

“I’m waiting,” she said.

“I know you are. This isn’t a story I’ve told before Blythe. I’m trying to figure out where to start.”

“Start at the beginning.”

The beginning. That would’ve been all the way back to elementary school. The day the teacher announced to the class there was a new girl who would be joining them.

***

Her name was Rosa, and she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. Her last name was Rodriguez, which meant she’d be sitting right behind Tucker, since his last name was Rice. Jace sat in front of him.

He learned, over time, that Rosa’s family lived in Basalt, but since her mother drove into Aspen for work every day, they enrolled her in a school in town. Rosa never believed she fit in with the other students, who came primarily from wealthy families. Her mother worked for one such family, as a housekeeper. It wasn’t until they were freshman in high school that Rosa started coming out of her shell, and that was after going to school with most of them for several years.

She was often off on her own, and Tucker watched her. He was the same way, sometimes anyway. There were days that he didn’t feel like hanging out with his friends, he wanted to get lost in his art. There wasn’t anyone he liked to draw more than Rosa. Her black hair and almost black eyes were such a contrast against her pale skin that flushed a pretty shade of pink whenever he talked to her.