And Those Who Trespass Against Us (23 page)

"Surely it's too late for you to return home tonight," Katherine said. "And besides, I'm not quite sure what sort of reception Catriona would give me at the moment. I can make up her parent's room if you like." At Susan's nod, Katherine busied herself with lighting the stove.

SUSAN GAZED AT Katherine. It was easy for her to see why Catriona felt the way she did. Katherine's green eyes and innocent face, shrouded in pixie-like curly hair, belied a beauty which, under other circumstances, well... Susan cleared her throat. "I think you'd be surprised by the sort of reception you'd receive. All the same, it is too late to return. I mentioned to Me Lin before I left that I may not be home tonight. She'll bring me out appropriate clothing for tomorrow's service. Thank you for your offer. I'd be more than happy to spend the night."

Katherine set about preparing a supper for the two of them.

DESPITE THE SUDDENNESS of Alexander's death, an incredibly large number of townsfolk gathered the next day for his funeral. The conspicuous absence of the ladies' committee was no surprise to Katherine. But she was touched by the attendance of many of the committee's husbands. Yet, by far, the working families made up the greatest representation, having taken time out of their busy day to pay their last wishes to a man well respected within the district.

Catriona didn't detract from her normal shirt and trousers, her only dispensation being her attendance in blouse and trousers which were cut for a more formal occasion. No one noticed, or if they did, felt no need to comment on her attire. After the service, the working men, who had arrived with their families, approached a staunch Catriona. They spoke to Catriona with a form of awkward gentleness which, at times, had Katherine swallowing back tears. Hat in hand, they offered her pledges of assistance whenever she should need it. Despite her grief, Catriona had a kind word for each of them.

FATHER CLEARY PLACED his fob watch into his vest pocket. "I best be going. I don't think there's very much more I can do at this point in time. Are you staying, Sister Flynn, or would you like me to take you in to town?"

"I think it would be best if I remain here. Catriona has settled down since yesterday. Despite the food the families left with her, I doubt she would feed herself if she was left alone."

Father Cleary put on his hat. "As you wish. We'll speak further on this matter next week."

After the father left, Susan came down the stairs. "I'm sorry, Katherine, but I must be going as well. Tomorrow is the monthly purchase day for a number of the outlying families, and I need to be there for it." She patted Katherine's arm. "If you need me then don't hesitate to come and get me."

"Where's Catriona?" Katherine asked as they walked toward the barn.

"I know it's only early afternoon, but I've put her to bed again with a watered-down glass of laudanum. I swear I've no idea where that woman keeps her nightclothes. I still couldn't find any."

Katherine's thoughts strayed to the night she'd attempted to undress Catriona and to Catriona's response. "Is she still clothed?"

"No," Susan replied as she guided her horse from its stable. "I've undressed her and placed her clothes on the chair by her bed. She should be right until morning." Susan held up a rein. "Can you give me a hand?"

After helping harness the horse, and with a final wave to Susan, Katherine mounted the stairs. The house, which had been so full of people during the day, was now quiet. Katherine cleaned the mess from the day's activities, her thoughts drifting to Catriona. She'd looked so proud and yet so lonely standing by the graveside. Why must God cause such pain to such a lovely woman? Katherine suddenly realised her thoughts were focused not on Catriona's spirit but with the woman herself. Again she heard Mary's mocking words. Raising her hands to her cheeks, she realised she was blushing.

Reconciling she'd also been jaded by the day's events, she moved through the dark house only pausing at Catriona's open door to reassure herself she was still asleep. Walking to her own room, she only hoped Catriona's slumber would last until morning.

KATHERINE SAT BOLT upright in bed.

"Mama! Papa! Alexander!" Catriona's cries fell silent. "Adele, where are you?"

Katherine jumped out of bed and fumbled to raise the wick in her lamp.

"Katherine, where are you?" Cursing at the lamp's reluctance to fully light, and concerned at Catriona's increasingly frantic state, she grabbed the lamp and softly ran to Catriona's doorway.

Moving through the entrance, she found Catriona sitting up in bed, her face contorted with fear and falling tears. Catriona turned to Katherine, her arms outstretched in supplication. Disregarding the distraught woman's nakedness, Katherine lowered her lamp to the bedside table and took Catriona in her arms.

She gently rocked her, waiting for Catriona's sobs to abate. "It's all right. I'm here. Everything's going to be fine. Today was the first day in the healing process. Why don't you lie back down and get some rest? I'm next door if you need me." She attempted to lower Catriona on to the bed. "I'll leave both our doors open in case you call."

Catriona clung on to her even harder. "Don't leave me alone. I don't want to be alone, not tonight. Stay with me, please. I need you."

Katherine, her own emotions in turmoil, hugged Catriona hard. "I'm here and I won't leave you," she whispered in her ear. "Although if I'm to stay, you're going to have to let me put the lamp out," she calmly replied, trying to soothe Catriona.

Catriona released her and shuffled across the bed, in turn providing a space for Katherine. Katherine extinguished the lamp and climbed into bed, only to be again subjected to Catriona's vice-like grip. It was some time until Katherine's reassuring words were sufficient for Catriona to finally release her, so they could both get some much needed sleep.

KATHERINE AWOKE THE next morning as she always did, to the sounds of the cockatoos heralding the start of her day. Laying on her side and taking a moment to relax, she felt a reassuring arm around her waist, and a body spooned against her own. Recalling the previous night's events, she tried as gently as possible to remove Catriona's arm from around her. Unfortunately, the blankets they were under held Catriona's arm in place.

As carefully as she could manage, Katherine pulled back the bedcovers and, little by little, shifted Catriona's arm. Her attempts required her to follow the arm's path, resulting in her rolling over to face Catriona. Her eyes widened when she suddenly remembered the way she'd found Catriona the previous night. Catriona was naked from the waist up.

Shocked, Katherine reached to pull the blankets back over Catriona. Her hand paused in midair. What happened if she woke her up? For reasons she couldn't fathom, Katherine's focus was inextricably drawn to the body in front of her. Even on her side, she saw Catriona's shoulders were broader than those of a normal woman's. These were complemented by her arms which, even in repose, hinted at a strength hidden beneath the skin.

Katherine's eyes trailed down to Catriona's narrow waist. She slowly raised her eyes to Catriona's chest and caught her breath. Her breasts were slight, unlike her own, which were well rounded. Mesmerised by her well-toned body, Katherine's breathing quickened. The feeling in her stomach felt like she hadn't eaten in days, but she knew this wasn't the cause. Katherine softly bit her bottom lip. Curiosity, or something else she couldn't quite describe, enveloped her with a compelling desire to reach out and touch Catriona.

Glancing up at Catriona's face, Katherine found she was awake. She blushed, realising she'd been caught staring and was reminded of how Catriona had stared at her on the night of Alexander's return. Try as she might, she was spellbound by Catriona's azure eyes.

Time slowed as Catriona appeared to struggle with her emotions. Very slowly she raised her hand and brushed a curl from Katherine's forehead. Katherine's breath stopped. The spot where Catriona had touched her felt like it was on fire.

Catriona lowered her hand to Katherine's shoulder. "I'm sorry for what I said to you the other day in the parlour. I meant what I said about religious platitudes. But
not
what I said about asking you to leave. I'm glad you didn't. Last night, when I woke up and couldn't find anyone, I thought I was all alone. Thank you for staying with me. It makes a change to wake up with someone beside you."

Katherine struggled to calm emotions which had gone haywire at Catriona's feather-light touch. Before she could utter words of thanks, Catriona closed the slight distance between them, and lightly brushed Katherine's lips with her own. Katherine's heart hammered, and a strange blossoming warmth simmered between her thighs. Catriona's lips barely touched hers, yet she was profoundly aware of the mark they left. Katherine tentatively moved closer to Catriona, capturing her lips with her own.

Catriona's hand encircled her waist, pulling her even closer and, as if unbidden, Katherine's hand fanned across Catriona's sculpted back. She felt the play of muscles beneath the flesh under her hand. Her lips slightly parted when Catriona's tongue slowly entered her mouth.

Katherine's mind was running a race of its own. She'd never felt this way--as if she were drunk and not responsible for her own actions. Taking her lead from Catriona, Katherine tentatively used her tongue to explore the inside of Catriona's mouth.

Catriona's hand, which had so skillfully stroked Katherine's back, traced a path to her front. Drawing a slow line up from her waist, Catriona cupped Katherine's breast, gently using the fabric between thumb and breast to tease the nipple.

Katherine gasped and broke contact.

"Katherine, are you all right?"

"No, I'm not. I don't know. I'm not sure." Katherine sat up in bed. What did she want? Her eyes widened in sudden realisation that these were the unorthodox ways the ladies' committee had alluded to regarding Catriona. Her time in the convent and her relative inexperience with men didn't make her an expert on intimacy, but she knew what they'd shared was socially taboo. Her confusion was multiplied by her private acknowledgment that she'd enjoyed it, and had in fact returned Catriona's kiss.

CATRIONA MADE NO attempt to re-establish contact with Katherine. She'd been aware of Katherine's eyes on her, and her heart had quickened at the prospect of taking her in her arms. She had been elated when Katherine returned her kiss, and was careful not to take things too quickly. Now she wondered whether she'd expected too much.

She sat up, making no attempt to hide her nakedness. "Now you know why the richer women of the town shun me. I don't think they know I like women as I should men, but I expect they have their ideas. Trust me, I didn't mean to force myself on you. It's just, when you returned my kiss, you confused me."

Katherine remained silent.

"I once told you no one can make you do anything. The decision must be yours," Catriona said.

Katherine nodded, her face flushed.

"There's something between us. I
know
there is, but you must look inside yourself to see if it's what you want. My actions have revealed what my feelings are, but I'll not destroy a friendship with something that's not reciprocated."

Katherine's confusion was plain to see. "I don't know what I want any more. I'm not sure. I need time to think about what has happened between us. I won't lie--I feel something. But I need to work through what has happened. I have no idea where this leaves me as a person
or
a nun. I just don't know." Katherine placed her head in her hands.

After a prolonged silence, Katherine finally looked up at Catriona. "As for the town's thoughts on the matter, I've already told you their opinions are insignificant to me." Katherine rolled away from Catriona and stood. "I need to meditate on this further before I make a decision. Please give me the leeway to do so."

"You've all the freedom you want, Katherine. Regardless of what outcome you reach, I'll abide by it. I only ask two things of you. First, ask yourself what it is
you
truly want,
not
what others expect of you. Secondly, you tell me your decision. I'll not ruin a friendship by pressing you for something which isn't reciprocated. You're welcome to stay here." Catriona looked into Katherine's eyes. "I promise this won't happen again, unless you want it to."

Katherine silently nodded and left Catriona's room. Catriona flopped back on her bed, her emotions in turmoil. In a matter of days she'd lost someone dear to her heart and yet found another. Had she also lost Katherine?

Chapter Eleven

IN THE DAYS following Alex's funeral, Catriona silently mourned the loss of her brother. Masking her grief under the pretence of checking the cattle and the young crops in the paddocks, she spent a great deal of her time away from the house and Katherine, reminiscing and shedding tears in his memory.

Australia was an unforgiving country, which didn't allow the luxury of long, drawn out displays of mourning. The land grew and changed, oblivious to anything or anyone standing in its path. Despite the pain she was feeling, Catriona knew she must continue with her work or risk seeing the paddocks engulfed by weeds. With some crops the invasion of weeds wasn't an issue, but at least two of her crops would be sorely affected by the presence of such a menace. She knew she needed help to weed those particular crops, let alone prepare the unsown paddocks for the oncoming season. Casting her mind back to the day of the funeral, she recalled the words of assistance given to her by so many. She hoped they weren't hollow promises.

CATRIONA RAISED HER head at the sound of multiple wagons coming down her drive. Putting aside the scythe she'd been sharpening, she walked out of the barn and was met by at least fifteen wagons filled with families and led by Joseph Connor.

"What are they doing here?" Katherine asked, as she reached Catriona's side.

"I'm not sure." Catriona wiped her hands on the back of her pants and walked to where his wagon had come to a halt. "Joseph, is there anything the matter?"