Angel (33 page)

For a moment Angel was so shocked that she
couldn't quite grasp what Cal was talking about.
Then she realised. 'Antonio and I are just friends,
nothing more.'

'Oh, come on,' Cal replied, 'you don't have to
spare my feelings. I know how badly I've treated
you but I would rather you were straight with me,
that way I can start to get over you.'

'I am telling the truth! There is absolutely
nothing going on between Antonio and me. There
never has been and there never will be. I went out
for dinner with him, that's all. As a friend,' Angel
said passionately, now desperate for Cal to believe
her.

'So, you're single, then?' Cal said. 'How ironic. At
last you're free and all those times I wished we both
were and here I am, a fucking useless wreck who
will never be good for anything again.'

'I had no idea you ever wished I was single!'
Angel said in astonishment. Cal was saying all the
things she had longed for him to say so many times,
but it was in such a sad, final way that it made them
seem hopeless.

'Well, I was quite good at fucking everything
up – quite spectacularly good, don't you think?'

'Cal, what are you saying? I need to know, tell
me!' Angel was quite literally on the edge of her
seat, gazing at Cal.

'Isn't it obvious? I love you, Angel, and I always
have, even though I seem to have spent the last few
years doing everything I can to make you hate me.'

All Angel could think was that Cal had said that
he loved her. She was on fire. 'But I love you, too,'
she burst out.

'How can you? I've treated you so badly,' Cal said
bleakly.

But Angel had had enough of talking. Within a
moment she was next to Cal, wrapping her arms
round his neck and kissing him for all she was
worth. Cal tried to speak, but she wouldn't let him.
'Shush,' she whispered. 'Haven't we talked enough
for now?'

'Hi, Cal, it's Angel, where are you? Are you okay?
Call me
please.
'

Angel put down her mobile, sighing with
frustration and worry. Two nights ago she and Cal
had made love and she thought they had never
been closer. He had told her that he loved her;
surely this was the start of the relationship she had
wanted for so long. But suddenly it all seemed to
be going wrong. Cal hadn't turned up at the
restaurant where they had arranged to meet and he
wasn't returning any of her calls. Angel felt the alltoo-
familiar despair grip her and she couldn't even
tell Gemma. The wedding was only three days away
and she had no intention of burdening her friend
with her problem. What could she do? She couldn't
just sit at home waiting for Cal to phone her – if he
was ever going to call her. She had to know what
was going on. It was midnight, but she had to see
him and get the truth from him.

When she arrived at his house the lights were on
and she could see Cal in the living room. She pressed
the buzzer and heard the sound echo through the
house, but he made no attempt to answer the door.
Feeling increasingly frustrated, she forced open the
letter box and shouted through it. 'Cal, let me in. I'm
not going away until you see me.' She had to call out
several times and eventually Cal, realising that she
wasn't going to go away, opened the door.

'What's going on?' Angel demanded, walking
into the house. 'Where were you today?'

He shrugged. 'Something came up, sorry.'

He didn't sound sorry, just cold and distant. He
made no attempt to kiss Angel, but returned to the
living room, picked up his drink and looked away
from her, as if her presence bored him.

Angel went and stood in front of him, forcing
him to look at her. 'What the hell is the matter? I
waited for two hours in the restaurant. I thought
you'd had an accident. Why didn't you call me?'

Cal still wouldn't look at her. 'I saw the surgeon
today and the knee doesn't seem to be healing as
well as it should. So I went out and got pissed. I'm
sorry I let you down, Angel, it's the last time, I
guarantee it.'

'Too bloody right!' Angel exclaimed, and was
about to let rip about how he might have bothered
to let her know, when he said:

'It's the last time, because I don't want to see you
again.'

Angel felt the room spin round. She grabbed the
sofa to stop herself falling. 'What?' This couldn't be
happening, Cal couldn't be saying this, not after
telling her he loved her. What could have changed
in two days?

Still not looking at her, Cal said, 'I'm not sure
you'll understand this, but I can't be with you if I
can't play football again. You deserve to be with
someone who can give you the world.'

'Is it because of Jackson? You blame me? Angel
asked in desperation.

'Of course not, the only person I blame is myself.
I've got to get through this somehow and I've got to
get through it on my own. That's the only way I
know, Angel. And it's not good enough, I know. So
please go now, fall in love with someone else, forget
you ever knew me.'

Angel wanted to cry out, to throw her arms round him, to beg
him to change his mind, but she knew it would be hopeless. Instead, summoning
all her strength, Angel managed to answer, 'Okay, I'll go if that's what you
want, but you're making a mistake, Cal. I love you and I always will.'

As she walked out of the room and out of the house, she kept
thinking that Cal would come after her any second and tell her that it had
all been a mistake. But by the time she reached her flat, she knew he wasn't
coming.

'Oh my God, Angel!' Zoë exclaimed as Angel
arrived at the hotel room to get ready for Gemma's
wedding. 'Have you been ill? You look like shit.'

'Thanks for bigging me up, Zoë! I know I look
like shit, but you're the artist, can't you do something
about it?' Angel sat down at the dressing table
and had to agree with Zoë's analysis. Her eyes were
puffy and bloodshot from all the crying she'd been
doing since she saw Cal; her skin looked blotchy
and there were dark circles under her eyes. Not so
much bridesmaid, as bride of Frankenstein . . .

'Just do something before Gemma sees me, for
God's sake.'

By the time Gemma arrived to get ready, Angel
had been transformed into Britain's favourite
glamour girl, and she made a supreme effort to
smile and hide the sadness in her eyes.

'Here comes the bride!' she exclaimed, making a
big fuss of Gemma and pouring her a glass of
champagne. Angel thought that Gemma had never
looked more beautiful. Her long black hair was
coiled on top of her head in an intricate design,
held in place with diamante pins; she was wearing
a strapless cream silk dress, which showed off her
beautiful back and shoulders, with a tight bodice
that emphasised her tiny waist and a full skirt. The
bridesmaids – Angel, Cheryl and Tamzin – were all
in fifties-style prom dresses in delicate pale pink,
their hair in sophisticated French pleats. Putting on
the bridesmaid dress helped Angel put on an act
that everything was okay, even though inside she
felt broken.

'How's Cal?' Gemma asked her as they walked
down to the cars that were going to take them to the
church.

'He's been really busy with his physio, I haven't
seen him,' Angel lied, the mention of his name
making her feel sick to her stomach, and then
changed the subject by telling Gemma yet again
how beautiful she looked.

Just as they turned the corner of the street
leading up to the church, Angel suddenly felt like
she couldn't hold it together. She shouted at the
driver to stop the car, then leant out, retching into
the gutter. When she climbed back into the car, she
told the others that she was still getting over a bug.
The thought of seeing Cal again and having to
pretend that he hadn't broken her heart was almost
unbearable.

Her heart sank still further when the car turned
into the church driveway and Cal was the first
person she saw. He was dressed in a grey morning
suit and looked impossibly handsome. It took all of
Angel's willpower not to look at him. Seeing the
bridal cars pull up, Cal walked into the church.
Angel took a deep breath and dug her nails into the
palm of her hand, forcing herself to think,
This is
Gemma and Tony's day, just focus on that and on making
it happy for them. Don't think about anything else.
She
handed Gemma her flowers, smoothed down her
dress, wished her luck and took her place behind
her as the bridal march started up on the church
organ.

Tony looked overwhelmed when he saw Gemma
for the first time. He didn't seem able to take his
eyes from her, and despite her heavy heart, Angel
smiled. But then she looked up and saw Cal, and
for a fleeting moment they held each other's gaze
before Angel quickly looked away.

The ceremony was so lovely that most of the
guests were in tears, but Angel remained dry-eyed,
fearing she would lose control completely if she
cried. It was torture when it came to the exchanging
of the rings and Angel had to stand up and hand
Gemma the box containing Tony's ring. Opposite
her, Cal was doing the same for Tony. She looked
everywhere but in Cal's direction, willing the
ceremony to be over so she could sit back down.
Now that she had seen him and he seemed to be so
unconcerned by what he had done to her, the hurt
she felt was being overtaken by a slow-burning
anger.
How dare he treat me like that – picking me up and
then dumping me?
she thought bitterly.

Mentally she was ticking off parts of the day in
her head – the first ordeal was the service, the
second was the photographs. She knew Gemma had
booked someone to do a few formal shots and then
make the rest of the pictures informal, and she just
prayed that the formal ones didn't take too long so
there wouldn't be much standing around and trying
to avoid Cal. She found herself caught up with
Jeanie and her mum, who were comparing notes
over who had cried the most during the service.

'Doesn't she look beautiful?' Jeanie said proudly.

'Stunning,' Angel replied sincerely.

'And you look beautiful, too,' Michelle put in,
and then, to Angel's horror, Cal walked over and
she had the total embarrassment of hearing her
mum say, 'Doesn't Angel look beautiful, Cal?' At
any other time during her long history with Cal,
Angel would have been thrilled by her mum's
comment, but now she wanted the ground to
swallow her.

If Cal felt awkward he didn't show it, and simply
said generously, 'Yes, she does and I'm sure she'll
make a beautiful bride one day.'

That did it! Angel wasn't going to hang around
to be patronised by Cal. She gave him a scathing
look, then marched off as far away from him as
possible. How dare he make a comment like that
after all he had put her through? Did he really
think she was going to stand there simpering and
hanging on his every word?

Suddenly he was by her side, saying urgently,
'Angel, I really need to talk to you.'

She looked over his shoulder and pretended to
be studying the church. 'Well, I don't want to talk
to you! How dare you fucking patronise me like
that!'

'I wasn't patronising you, I meant it. I need to
tell you—' but Cal was interrupted by the
photographer calling them over. Tony and Gemma
wanted a picture of the four of them together.
Angel swiftly walked on ahead of Cal, determined
not to say another word to him if she could help it.

'So now you're avoiding me?' Cal said at the champagne
reception in the country hotel, as he finally
managed to track Angel down.

'Sorry,' Angel said curtly, 'I've just remembered
that I've got to go and talk to someone who isn't a
total bastard. Excuse me.' And she started walking
away.

Cal grabbed her arm and whispered urgently, 'I
really do need to talk to you. I know I was a total
bastard to you and that's what I need to talk about.'

'I don't want an apology from you,' Angel said
angrily, pushing his hand from her arm. 'I just
want you to piss off!'

He grabbed her again to stop her from leaving
and this time she saw red, spun round and slapped
him round the face as hard as she could, drawing
shocked gasps from the guests around her.

'Got the message now?' she shouted and ran
away from him, praying that neither Gemma nor
Tony had witnessed the scene.

Angel hid in the toilets for fifteen minutes, too
embarrassed to face anyone, but then she heard
one of the ushers calling the guests to the wedding
breakfast and she knew she would have to go back
in. She was sitting with the bride and groom and
her family at the top table, which looked out over
the room, and she was at the opposite end to Cal, so
she could avoid all contact with him. Word of what
Angel had done didn't seem to have reached the
bride and groom and Angel could pretend that
everything was just fine. That was until Cal got up
to deliver his best man speech. All eyes were turned
to Cal, except Angel's – she stared fixedly at the
arrangement of pale pink roses in front of her.

His speech was charming and witty and warm,
full of good wishes for Tony and Gemma – so far, a
typical best man speech. Then his voice suddenly
seemed charged with emotion. 'They're so lucky to
have found such a love. Seeing them today has
made me realise that when you find love like that,
you should hold onto it. It's more important than
anything.'

Angel found herself compelled to look up at Cal
and she discovered that he was gazing directly at
her.

'I know this is Gemma and Tony's day, but I
hope you won't mind if I say a little bit about myself
and someone who means the world to me. A week
ago I told the woman I love that I didn't want to see
her any more.'

Oh my God
, Angel thought,
what's coming next?
She
was aware that all the guests were riveted by what
Cal was saying.

'I told her that if I couldn't play football again,
then I couldn't be with her, even though I loved
her. And it was stupid of me. I pushed her away
when I needed her most. I've spent the last few
days trying to get hold of her to tell her that I was
wrong, and, understandably, she doesn't want to
know. But I'll give it one more try.'

And to Angel's astonishment, he walked towards
her seat, got down on one knee, took her hand and
said, 'Angel, will you marry me?'

There were gasps of astonishment and delight
from the guests. Angel was speechless. She took the
pale pink leather ring box he was holding out to
her and opened it to reveal a stunning pink
diamond ring. She looked at Cal.

'No pressure, Angel,' he said, 'but if you turn me
down I've just humiliated myself in front of two
hundred people.'

'Yes,' she whispered in a voice full of emotion, 'I
will marry you.' And as Cal took her in his arms and
kissed her, the room erupted into cheers and
applause. It had taken a long time and it very
nearly hadn't happened at all, but Angel had found
her happy-ever-after at last.

The End