Angel Fever (34 page)

M
Y DREAMY FEELING OF PEACE
evaporated the second I pulled out onto the highway.
Alex.
I couldn’t sense him any more – at some point I’d lost the connection. As I drove, I hastily scanned.

Nothing. I took a deep breath and tried again, reaching for the strong, familiar sense of him.

Panic clutched me. It wasn’t there.

No, that wasn’t it – confusedly, I realized that I didn’t
know
whether his energy was there or not. Whenever I tried to send my consciousness out of myself, nothing happened.

As the truth hit me, my hands went cold on the steering wheel. The road suddenly looked strange, off-kilter. Apparently my angel hadn’t been the only thing damaged by the ethereal storm that had raged through me. I was still psychic; I could feel it…but on nowhere near the same level.

I swallowed hard; I couldn’t even begin to process this yet.
Alex is okay,
I told myself harshly.
He’s got to be.

As I drove into the town, people were cheering, waving their weapons. They shouted my name as they saw me, pounding on the hood of the truck as I passed. My heart quickened as I brought their auras into view. They lay flat and flickering against their bodies. Oh my god – had I actually done it?

I sped the rest of the way to the square, looking for Alex at every turn. There was no sign of him.

When I got to the town hall, people were gathering in front of it; jubilant shouts filled the air. As I jumped out, I saw Nina and Jonah holding each other tightly on the lawn, his dark head against her golden-brown one. They spotted me and came running over; I met them halfway.

Nina and I embraced. She was crying. “Oh, Willow, you did it! We saw them all sweeping away through the sky, and then they vanished—”

“Is everyone okay?” I gasped.

She gulped and wiped her eyes as we drew apart. “No. We’re still counting, but we’ve lost eight so far.”

My chest turned to ice. Then Nina named some of my old classmates – no one I’d known well, but I could put faces to all the names. One was a girl I’d shared notes with in English class.

“Eight people,” I murmured, my throat tight. “But I thought—” I stared at the shouting crowd, their auras still flush with their bodies. Slowly, I let go, and watched them all return back to normal.

“I thought I’d saved everyone,” I said in a small voice.

Jonah touched my hand, his brown eyes intense. “Willow, you saved so many,” he said. “You saved
me,
for that matter – I had five on me at once, but they couldn’t grab hold.” When I didn’t respond, he added, “We all would have died, you know. Just like the attack at your base.”

“And you know what else?” Nina said, her expression fierce. “We are going to have the celebration to end all celebrations today – because the angels are
gone,
and that’s what we’ve all been fighting for.”

Wrestling with pain, triumph, confusion, I hugged her again, unable to speak. Then I pulled away. “Have you seen Alex?” I asked urgently.

Jonah shook his head. “I got a glimpse of him during the battle. He was up on a roof at the far end of town, holding off – well, an entire army of angels. He must’ve killed hundreds.”

Alex.
He’d been the reason why the army hadn’t reached me in time – the reason I was still alive. “Is…is he all right?” I got out.

“I don’t know. I lost sight of him—”

“Jonah!” shouted an urgent voice. Rachel came panting up. “It’s Seb. We found him behind one of the houses – he looks pretty bad.”

My heart gave a sickening lurch. Following Rachel’s gaze, I saw a small knot of people carrying someone on a makeshift stretcher. The next second I was running across the square as fast as I could, with Nina and Jonah right behind.

A girl I hardly recognized was crying. “I didn’t mean to! I was trying to hit the angel attacking him—”

I skidded to a stop on the damp ground and fell to my knees. Seb lay with his head to one side, not moving. A dark bruise stained the left side of his face. Blood was everywhere – in his curls, mixing with the stubble on his face, staining his green jacket.

“Seb – no.” I gripped his hand; it felt cold. With my other hand, I touched his face, trying not to shake. “Seb,
please.
”

Rachel was pale. “He was up on a roof – he got hit with shrapnel from a chimney and fell off. We know you’re not supposed to move someone who’s injured, but…but we couldn’t just leave him…”

I couldn’t take my eyes off Seb’s face. “I have to get him to Schenectady,” I said in a rush. “He needs a doctor.”

Nina stared at me. “But Schenectady’s an Eden! Even if the angels are gone now, won’t—”

“It’ll be fine,” I said shortly. I was certain of it, though I couldn’t begin to explain why just then. The girl who’d shot at Seb was still crying. Resisting the urge to slap her, I jumped up and fumbled in my pocket for my keys.

Nina and Jonah looked at each other. Nina said, “Okay, I’ll come with you—”

“Willow!”

My head jerked up. Alex was running across the square towards me. The relief was too deep to fathom – I held back a moan as he reached me and swung me into his arms. “You’re all right,” he whispered against my hair. “Oh, thank Christ, you’re all right.”

Suddenly it felt as if I’d forgiven him everything – all I wanted was to wrap my arms tight around him in return. Confusion reeled through me. Shakily, I pulled away, hugging myself and avoiding the sudden hurt in his eyes.

“I’m fine, but – but Seb isn’t,” I said. “We’re taking him to the hospital.”

Alex crouched hastily beside him. “Oh, shit, man – I told you to stay alive,” he muttered. He pressed two fingers under Seb’s jaw. “His pulse is weak. I hope this looks worse than it is.”

We loaded Seb gently into the back of my truck, trying to keep him as steady as possible. Alex took the keys from me without asking, and I crawled in beside Seb. Nina got into the front, asking, “Do you know how to get to Schenectady?”

Alex’s gaze met mine in the rear-view mirror; he had a scratch over one eye. “Yeah, I’ve been there,” he said. “You’ll have to give me directions to the hospital, though.”

As we headed out of Pawntucket and onto I-90, Seb’s hazel eyes flickered open. “Meggie?” he whispered.

My heart broke for him. I rubbed his hand between both of mine. “No, it’s Willow,” I said softly. “But you’re going to be with Meggie, Seb. I promise.”

He gave a groan as the truck lurched around a curve, and seemed to pass out again. My throat clutched as I held his hand tightly. The two of us had taken so many wrong turns together these past two years. But he was the brother I’d never had – and I hadn’t had him in my life for nearly long enough.

Nina twisted around in her seat, her eyes wide. “Willow, what
happened
up there, anyway?”

I swallowed hard and stroked back Seb’s curls. And, still staring down at him, I explained.

I’d used the energy field to alter everyone on the planet. It was now impossible for angels to feed from humanity. And though I couldn’t change it if someone had been physically hurt by the angels…I’d taken away people’s delusions about them. I’d tried to do it as gently as possible, but the whole world knew the truth now, and that the invaders were gone for ever. I’d managed to heal the ether in the angels’ world a little; it might last long enough now for them to figure out a different way to save themselves.

But they couldn’t get back here again – ever. I’d sealed off our dimension for good.

As I finished talking, Alex was staring at me in the rear-view mirror. When he faced forward again, his expression was dazed.

“So it’s really over,” he murmured finally.

Silence fell; I could see him and Nina trying to come to grips with all this. It still felt dreamlike to me: nowhere near as real as Seb’s hand, cold in mine.

Or Alex’s dark, tousled hair as he sat in the driver’s seat. I swallowed. “What happened with you?” I asked. “Jonah said he saw you up on a roof holding off hundreds.”

Alex shrugged, still looking stunned. “Yeah, trying to. When they finally got past, I thought I was dead, but they couldn’t get hold of my aura.” His eyes met mine again. “Was that you?”

I nodded. I was so overwhelmed by what he’d done that my voice came out too formally: “Thank you. If you hadn’t held them back, I never could have done it.”

I saw his flash of hurt. “Christ, Willow, you don’t have to
thank
me.”

None of us spoke again. When we got to Schenectady Eden, the main gates were open – there was already a flow of traffic heading out. Crowds of people stood just outside in small clusters, talking intently; some were crying. No one paid any attention as we drove through.

When Schenectady Hospital came into view, we pulled up to the ER and a pair of attendants came racing out with a clattering gurney. “Here,” I cried, sliding open the door to the back.

A few minutes later, we were all sitting in a crowded waiting room. Seb had been taken away down a long corridor. A nurse came over and held out a clipboard. “I know everything’s kind of upside down at the minute, but could you fill this out for us?”

I stared blankly at the form, not even able to take it in just then. Alex was sitting across from me; he leaned over and took it. “He’s not an Eden resident,” he said, scanning the sheet.

The nurse tried to smile; underneath it she looked as flattened with shock as everyone else. “That’s all right…I guess none of us are any more, are we? Just do the best you can.”

W
E SAT IN SILENCE
. I kept glancing down the hallway, worried about Seb – wishing I was able to send my angel to see what was going on.

The room was full of dazed, weary-looking people. I saw a woman in the corner clutching a Church of Angels pendant and crying silently, tears streaming down her face. Pressing my fingers against my head, I hoped I’d done the right thing – that humanity would find its way forward.

Nina was flicking through a magazine called
Eden Now.
Alex frowned up at the TV that hung from the wall. Bizarrely, an old episode of
Cheers
was playing.

“Nothing on the news yet,” he said finally, almost to himself.

I shook my head. “No. I guess it’ll take time for people to organize themselves.”

Our gaze met; my cheeks heated and I glanced away. Alex had been keeping his distance from me for hours now. I knew he thought this was what I wanted…only I wasn’t sure if it was any more.

Mom, I’m so confused,
I thought miserably.

Even without looking at Alex, I was so aware of him: the curve of his dark eyebrows, the sense of easy strength as he leaned back in his chair. All I wanted was to sit beside him and feel him put his arm around me. But it didn’t make any sense. How could my anger have just evaporated?

But you
know
why,
piped up a tiny voice inside me.

I went very still as those minutes at the willow tree rushed back in vivid detail…and now I was able to take it all in. When I’d clung tight to Alex’s grounding energy, I’d seen him with so much clarity, right down to his soul. Leaving me when he’d thought he was going to die had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. His decision hadn’t been perfect, not by a long shot. But he’d done the best he could.

I sat frozen in my seat, recalling how I’d touched every person on the planet: explored the rich tapestry of all their frailties, hopes, strengths…their humanity.

Oh, god, of course I could forgive Alex – I already had. After seeing all that, how could I not forgive someone who’d struggled with such a terrible choice, and would now give anything –
anything
– if he could somehow change the outcome?

Especially when I loved him so much it hurt?

Suddenly my eyes were full of tears. Alex wasn’t looking at me; he was staring at the TV with the thoughtful frown I knew so well. Why was there a coffee table between us? Why were we in a waiting room full of people?

I cleared my throat. “Alex, um—”

Before I could ask if he’d step outside with me for a second, a doctor came into the room. “Are you with Sebastián Carrera?” she asked, crouching in front of us.

She’d pronounced his name wrong; I hardly noticed. Nodding, I sat up straight and gripped Nina’s hand.

“He’s okay,” she said.

I let out a shivering breath. Across from me, Alex had closed his eyes in relief, shoulders slumping.

The doctor’s expression held a deep sadness of her own, but her tone was compassionate. “He’s got a bad concussion and a few broken ribs. We’ll need to keep him overnight for observation. But his X-rays are clear, no internal cranial pressure. He’s going to be fine.”

Remembering how Seb had asked for Meghan, I had a sudden feeling that
fine
was relative. My half-angel awareness of him had lessened, but I could still sense his despair, and my chest tightened.

“Can I see him?” I asked.

The doctor looked at her watch.

“Please? I’m his sister.”

It didn’t even feel like a lie. The doctor nodded. “Just you, then, and only for a few minutes – he needs to rest.”

As I got up, my eyes met Alex’s. “Tell him I said hi,” he said quietly. “And that I’m glad he’s okay.”

I nodded, feeling choked by everything I wanted to say to Alex, but this wasn’t the time. I hurried after the doctor. “I won’t be long,” I said over my shoulder.

The doctor led me down a maze of corridors, then stopped in front of a door. “He’s in here – I’ll be back in five minutes.” Her gaze widened as she studied me. “Wait. Aren’t you—?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said softly. “I just look like her.”

When I pushed open the door, I found Seb lying in a bed with crisp sheets, his bruises worse than before; harsh black stitches slashed diagonally through his left eyebrow.

I sat on the bed beside him and reached for his hand. “Hi,” I whispered.

Wincing, Seb turned his head on the pillow to look at me. He tried to smile, but the look in his hazel eyes was breaking my heart.

“You were right,” he said.

I didn’t have to ask. I squeezed his hand tightly between both of mine. “I know.”

Neither of us spoke for a long moment, and then Seb let out a breath. “We defeated the angels, yes? I can feel it.”

“Yes, we did it. They’re really gone now – for ever.”

He sagged against the bedclothes and closed his eyes. “That’s good,” he whispered. “Oh, that’s so good.”

I stroked his curls from his forehead. “Alex says hi,” I added.

Seb smiled faintly, but I could feel his mind wasn’t on it. “Willow, what am I going to do?”

“You mean about Meghan?”

His fingers gripped mine restlessly. “How is it possible for a man to be this stupid,
querida
– how?”

“Shh, you need to rest. Seb, it’ll be okay.”

He gave a shattered laugh. “Really? When we broke up, do you know what she said? That she’d wanted to tell me she loved me for so long…but never had, because she knew I wouldn’t say it too.”

Holding onto Seb’s hand, I got a faint flash of Meghan sitting on Seb’s bed, her blue eyes anguished.
I’m sorry, Seb. I just can’t do it any more.

“And I just
sat
there. I told her that, yes, I understood, I didn’t want her to be unhappy – and all I could think was,
Meggie, please don’t do this…
” Seb’s voice faltered.

“But you know how you feel about her now! She’ll see that; she’ll realize.”

He shook his head, closing his eyes again. “No,” he said dully. “I don’t think so.”

Time for a change of subject. I cleared my throat, looking down at our hands. “Seb, listen. When I was manipulating the energy, it was like I had this incredible rush of knowledge, about every living thing. And…I found out more about half-angels.”

His eyes flew open. “Really?” he said after a pause.

I nodded – and told him what I’d seen. Altogether, there’d been maybe a dozen half-angels throughout time; I’d sensed it in people’s genes. But Seb and I had been the only ones for centuries. And I had a feeling we were the only ones ever who’d been aware of our angels.

As I spoke, I tried not to think about that other part of myself, broken inside of me. Especially as I told Seb the rest: angels weren’t supposed to be able to breed with humans at all, but in a few cases of extreme angel burn, the human’s system had morphed slightly, becoming receptive.

Seb and I existed solely because our mothers had been so severely damaged by our fathers.

Now it seemed like Seb’s hand was comforting me, instead of the other way around. “This doesn’t change anything, not really,” he said after a pause. “Neither of us thought we were here because of some great love affair.”

I nodded, throat tight.

Then Seb’s forehead creased. “You feel different,” he said suddenly.

Before I could answer, I sensed his angel reaching out for mine, and I winced and ducked my head. I hadn’t wanted Seb to know yet, but of course I couldn’t hide it from him.

I sat very still. As his angel touched my own, I felt him realize. He didn’t speak. When I lifted my head, his eyes were bright with tears. Softly, his angel slipped inside of me, finding and cradling that wounded part of me.

Oh god, the look on his face…
“I’m all right,” I whispered hoarsely. “Seb, I promise you, I’m all right. Don’t you see? I still
have
my angel, inside me. And I’m alive. And so are you and Alex – I have everything that matters.”

I clutched his hand. “Please listen to me: you have
got
to tell Meghan how you feel. You love her – and you tried your best the whole time, and she knows that. She’ll forgive you.” I managed a lopsided smile. “Trust me, okay? I kind of know what I’m talking about on this one.”

I saw hope battle disbelief in Seb’s eyes. “Maybe you’re right,” he said finally.

“I am.”

He smiled slightly then. “You often are,” he said. “It’s very irritating.”

The doctor eased open the door. “Time’s up,” she said.

I bent and kissed his stubbled cheek. “I’ll be back tomorrow when they discharge you, okay?” I lowered my voice. “And by the way, I told her I’m your sister.”

He was already half asleep, his stitches stark against his eyebrow. “Then you were right again,” he murmured. “Because that’s what you are.”