Another Chance (26 page)

"I'm scared, Jillian.  I'm scared I'll give him my heart and he won't want it."

"Then he'd be a fool, Silver."

"Thank you."  She wiped the moisture from her eye, took a deep breath.  "Now that you know how I feel about Shane, are you going to tell me how you feel about Wade?"

"I was planning to, this morning.  I was going to come see you after chores."  She tugged at the sleeves of her dress.  "Last night, after the dance, Wade was here."

Silver scooted closer.  "He kissed you, didn't he?"

"Several times."  Despite feeling very self-conscious, Jillian looked at Silver.  "Last night wasn't the first time we kissed, but it was the first time..."

"Oh!"

Silver's hand flew to her mouth.  Her golden-brown eyes held no judgment and Jillian let out a breath, realizing she'd feared her friend would think less of her.

"Really?" she whispered.  "You'd never been with your fiancé?"

"No!"

"Me neither," Silver admitted with a duck of her head.  "Despite what everyone thinks."  She raised her eyes.  "Was it beautiful?"

Jillian had been flooded with many conflicting emotions since Wade had left last night.  Happiness, confusion, uncertainty.  But at no time had she regretted it.  Remembering the tender way he'd kissed her, stroked her, the way he'd brought her body to life, she sighed.

"It really was."

"I knew it would be.   Not with you and Wade," she was quick to correct.  "I meant being with a man.  I know it's not always pretty, but I've always imagined it would be with the right man.  I'm so excited for you both.  Have you discussed future plans?"  Her eyes widened.  "Did he propose?"

"Silver," Jillian held up her hand, shook her head.  "We didn't talk about the future, other than he can't make any promises."

She looked taken aback.  "Wade said that?  But that doesn't make sense.  Between Wade, Scott and Shane, Wade was the only one who married, had a child.  That's who he is."

"Well, maybe he's changed.  At any rate, it's just as well.  I'm not sure what I would have answered."

"Why not?"

"From the time I was a little girl being a veterinarian was my only dream.  The more time I spent pursuing that goal, the fewer boys, and then men, were interested in me, and me in them.  I don't know if you feel this way about the saloon, but when I'm working, I feel as though I have a purpose.  I love what I do, what I'm trying to build, and part of me bleeds thinking I may have to give up being a veterinarian if I stay here and the town never comes to accept what I do.

"But after being with Wade, I can't imagine being without him either.  He makes me feel beautiful, desirable.  I want to be part of his life, his family."  She chuckled.  "I've never spent much time around children, but Annabelle makes it easy.  She's curious and bright.  I think I could be a good mother to her."

Silver's squeezed her hand.  "Of course you could."

"Do you suppose if Wade and I were to be together, that eventually I'd win the town's favor?  That they'd actually come to accept my skills?"

"I wish I could say yes, Jillian.  But the truth is, this town is stubborn.  Look at me; they've yet to accept what I do."  Silver looked at her closely.  "What if they couldn't?  What if you gave it up, married Wade and they never changed their minds?  Is that a chance you're willing to take?"

Jillian pressed a hand to her heart.

"I'm not sure."

***

After seeing Whiskers and the mutilated dress she hadn't thrown out yet, Shane helped Jillian bury the rabbit while Silver wandered the woods nearby for a handful of wildflowers.  She stuck them in the fresh mound of dirt, lest the wind toss them away, while Shane put the shovel back in the barn.

The wind billowed the sleeves of his white shirt when he stepped outside.  His hand flew to his hat just as the wind tossed it off his head.  Grabbing it, he gestured to the porch.  Away from the brunt of the wind, Shane put his hat on and addressed Jillian.

"I talked to Steven.  It wasn't him."

"You're sure?" Silver asked.

Shane turned his head, looked at her.  Now that Jillian knew how her friend felt about the sheriff she couldn't help but will him to see it as well.

"He was already at the dance long before you got there and, as you know, he left with me."

"What about his friends?"

"I don't know yet.  All I can tell you, Jillian, is to be careful.  And don't go anywhere unarmed.  Even if it's just going to the outhouse or the barn."

Chilled at the thought of not being safe going to the privy, Jillian hugged herself.  "I won't."

"I really hate the idea of you being alone out here."

"Steven's trying to scare me, Silver.  He'll tire of the game soon."

At least that was her hope.  But seeing his progression from an open window, to a cut-up dress to a dead rabbit, it scared Jillian to think what could be next.

"I'll let you know if I find anything.  I have a few things I'm working on.  In the meantime, since most of those men work in town, I should also be able to keep an eye on them, at least to some extent."

"I appreciate that, Shane.  Thank you."

"You won't reconsider Silver's offer to stay at the saloon?"

"First of all, I don't want to put Silver in harm's way."

"You wouldn't.  We'd be perfectly safe and Shane would be just down the street."

Jillian smiled her thanks but shook her head.  "What if they leave me alone while I'm at your place but the moment I'm back here it starts again?  I can't live at the saloon indefinitely."

"I know," Silver acknowledged, though her eyes remained troubled.

Shane rested his hands on his hips.  Though the mood couldn't be more serious, Jillian had to fight a smile when the movement drew Silver's undivided attention.

"I don't want to scare you, Jillian, but I can't stay awake all night and neither can you."

"Truthfully, I'm more concerned about Hope and the other animals than I am about the house and my belongings.  Until this stops, I've already decided to sleep in the barn."

"I hate to see you do that, but I agree."  Shane turned to Silver.  "Ready?"

Side by side, both astride black horses, Shane dark and handsome and Silver fair and beautiful, Jillian could easily picture them together.  If only Shane could see it and Silver wasn't so afraid.

***

The thick blanket of grey clouds blocked the sun and the gusty wind tugged at his hat.  Wade ducked his head to keep his Stetson in place and the dust from his eyes.  A small whirlwind spiraled across the yard.  His shirt flapped against his chest and he put his weight into the gate to close it.  He slipped the rope over the post and sighed.

He'd spent the better part of the afternoon working with Chancy, a two year old gelding whose name fit him perfectly.  He was a fast horse but had to be kept under firm rein.  He tended to ignore Wade's commands and followed his own whims, which seemed to take him when its rider least suspected it.  It would take a miracle to get him to Whiskey's level but he trusted Scott and his opinion that although Chancy couldn't help Wade's dream of a horse farm, he could be an excellent cow pony.

Taking the saddle off the fence, Wade spit out the dust the wind was determined he eat and headed for the barn.  He nearly bumped into Shane on the way out.

"Twice in one day.  You must be lonely," Wade chided.

"Anyone else in there?" Shane nodded toward the barn.

"No, why?"

"Good.  I'm tired of eating dirt."  Shane brushed past Wade, then made himself at home on a bench.

"Did Steven give you more trouble?" Wade asked, taking a seat next to Shane.

"Not yet.  But he is out.  I let him go just before dinner."

"You worried he might come after me?"

Shane shook his head.  "Not you, so much, but I do recommend you keep an eye open.  He's not real pleased with you at the moment.  Also wouldn't hurt to carry a weapon."

Wade scowled. "He threatened me, didn't he?"

"No.  Actually when I spoke to him he was almost cooperative."  He took a deep breath, let it out.  "It's Jillian I'm worried about."

It took everything Wade had to sit and listen as Shane recounted the trouble Jillian had been having.  By the time Shane was done, Wade's jaw throbbed from clenching it.

It hadn't occurred to Wade, when the bull deal had gone bad, that Steven was also hurting Jillian.  Goddammit, it should have.

"Look, I'm not telling you this for you to go tear into Steven.  I'm just warning you.  Who knows?  Maybe now that I'm involved, things will settle down."

"Or get worse.  Whoever wants her gone bad enough to do this isn't going to be happy the sheriff's on her side."

Shane nodded.  Wade figured it was just habit for him to set his palm on the gun that rode in the holster.  "We all need to be careful.  Silver was at Jillian's this afternoon.  She's in with your ma now, but I'll be riding with her back to town.

"Wade, don't make this worse.  Stay away from Garvey and his cohorts."  The men came to their feet.  They were about the same height and they stood eye to eye.  "I have a real bad feeling about this, that it's going to get ugly.  But in case I'm wrong, you going after Steven or anyone else that associates with him just might push things further than anybody wants."

The thought of Jillian hurt was turning Wade's blood to ice.  "What if we do nothing and he takes it further anyway?  What if he goes after her next time, instead of her possessions?"

"I'm going to do everything I can so that doesn't happen."

"But you can't guarantee it, can you?"

Shane held up his hands.  "Wade, I-"

"You can't, can you?"

"No," Shane admitted, looking about as happy about that as Wade felt.  "I can't."

Jillian picked at the food on her plate, created a pile of mashed potatoes, and then flattened it down again.  She'd cut the ham into bite-sized pieces but after stacking them until they toppled over, gave up on her supper.  She hadn't been hungry to begin with but she'd prepared her small meal because she'd needed to do something.

"Maybe I should get a dog," she thought, looking at her plate of uneaten food.

She'd said it in jest, thinking of being able to give her leftovers to a dog rather than throw them away, but now that she'd thought it, the idea took hold.  It wasn't a bad idea.  She was alone; she couldn't stay awake indefinitely.  A dog would alert her if someone or something came into her yard.

For the first time all day, excitement filled her.  A dog!  She smiled, threw her leftovers in a pail she'd toss outside later when she did her evening chores.  Tomorrow, she'd go into town.  Surely Letty, as the owner of the mercantile, would know if anyone had puppies to give away.

Until she found a dog, though, she was sleeping in the barn.  With her rifle.  Nobody was going to kill another of her animals.  Jillian dug into the chest at the foot of her bed for extra blankets.

The sound of hoof beats approaching carried through the bedroom window she'd left open for just that purpose.  Jillian flung the blankets on the bed and ran to grab her gun.  Once it was firmly in hand, she braced herself and looked out the kitchen window.

She wilted like a flower in the heat of July.  It was only Annabelle.  Not wanting to scare the girl, Jillian placed the weapon behind the door.

"Miss Matthews!"  Annabelle called the moment Jillian stepped outside.

Jillian waved, but waited for the girl and her horse to get closer before talking.  Annabelle's shadow was taller than she was when she jumped from the saddle.  Either the wind or her ride over had tugged strands of her dark hair free of her braids.  As always the little girl's eyes glittered with life and energy.

"Hello, Annabelle.  What a nice surprise."  Jillian looked down the road and beyond.  Her stomach jittered thinking Wade may be coming along.  Though she'd had a busy day, she'd secretly been hoping he'd come see her.  To talk.  To...

But other than gently rolling green-covered hills there was nothing.  "You didn't come alone, did you?"  The thought left Jillian cold.  She didn't know Steven well enough to truly know what the man was capable of, but Annabelle was Wade's daughter and if he was mad enough at Wade...

The little girl clutched her horse's reins.  "I heard Papa talking to Uncle Shane today.  Uncle Shane says you might be in danger."

Jillian scowled.  She may not be a mother but she knew enough not to say such things around a child.  Why scare the poor child for something she couldn't control?

"I'm not, really.  Your Uncle Shane just wants me to be careful."

"Is this because of me?  Because of what I said to Papa last night?"

Jillian held her hand out for the horse to smell, and then patted the warm hide along its neck.  "Let's get your horse some water, then we'll talk."

They walked to Hope's enclosure where Hope came to make her introductions.  The horses snuffled each other over the fence rail while Jillian let herself in and brought Hope's water bucket out.  With Annabelle's horse tied and drinking, Jillian turned her attention back to the little girl.