APOCALYCIOUS: Satire of the Dead (49 page)

“These are my friends and noble guests; Sir Mick and Lady Mia of Parkersburg, Sir Daniel of Zanesville and Sir Bodie of Sundowner Bowling; look upon them my knights and see what bravery truly is. They have come here to help us destroy this army before it destroys The Ark. Despite their small stature, they possess more heart and courage than most Nephilim.”

Micheliel gave little thought toward of the appearance of his king’s new friends; Dwarf and Lycan were both known to inhabit The Ark. Mick, however, was one of the few humans to have ever traveled to this Plane and Mia was a mystery. Although she looked like a small, willowy dark-skinned human there was something strange about her eyes. They were completely black and masked which direction she looked upon.

“M’Lord, they are most welcome and we thank Yah for your return and for their aid,” said Micheliel slamming a gauntlet to the cloth tunic that covered his steel breastplate.

Micheliel led the newcomers through the walled city and Mick felt a sense of being miniscule within its towering heights. If not for the great iron-banded doors being so well oiled, he doubted he could have budged them no matter the effort. They walked down a long stone corridor to another set of wooden double doors; these doors were elaborately carved with strange symbols that Mick and his friends did not recognize. The iron bands were also engraved in a runic language and Micheliel threw open wide the doors and stood aside as Regeliel led his friends inside. Micheliel and the other five knights followed them into the room and one called, Ureliel, closed the doors behind them with a loud resonant boom.

As they entered the hall a beautiful, Nordic looking giantess ran to Regeliel and threw her arms around his neck, covering his scarred face with kisses. He took her in his arms and lifted her seven foot frame easily from the stone floor.

“Mariel how long I have waited to see your lovely face!” he exclaimed.

Mariel had the looks of a Valkyrie with her blonde, almost white, hair falling in gilded braids to her waist. She also wore armor, but hers accentuated her feminine curves and she wore a gently curving sword that hung from her hip. Her eyes were glacier blue and they could all smell her scent of flowers that lingered within the great hall.

Mia watched them with a smile on her dark face. “They are so cute.”

Mick looked at her “They have a combined weight of about eight hundred and fifty pounds and are armed with weapons the size of Buicks. That’s your idea of cute?”

Mia gave Mick a peck on the cheek. “This time it is.”

Bodie scratched Daniel behind his ears. “I wonder where the babes are.”

Daniel looked at his friend as he panted with his tongue lolling from between his dagger like teeth.

Mick looked at the paintings that lined the walls of the hall. His face took on a quizzical look as he examined a few of the knight’s faces that were painted there. The knight’s portraits reminded him of famous people he thought he should know, but the largest painting that stood in the center of the hall was of a brown skinned man with long brown hair. He was obviously a king as he wore a golden crown that pierced his brow in thorny spines. Blood poured from the wounds down his face, but his eyes showed no pain and an expression that was fierce to look upon. Strength and power emanated from him. His strong jaw was covered in a brown beard that was trimmed short and regally. The man’s robes were tattered and streaked in blood, as was the sword that pointed down, its tip imbedded in flames. A golden engraved plaque read, ‘Xristos, Rex Regum’.

Mick gave Mia a gentle squeeze, she looked at him and he nodded toward the painting. She looked up at it and felt a chill run through her entire body that made the short hairs on her arms and neck stand on end. “Who do you think that is?” he asked her quietly.

She said nothing but could not take her eyes from the painting. Those knowing eyes seemed to look through her very being and she felt naked and vulnerable before it.

Regeliel and Mariel had walked up behind them, and even though they were far from silent in their approach, when Regeliel touched Mia’s silken black hair she jumped with a start.

“You recognize our Great King?”

Mick nodded and Mia turned back to look up at the painting. “It is a beautiful work of art,” Mia said, marveling.

“Aye, M’Lady, it is,” Regeliel said reverently.

Mia turned back to face the King and Queen. Mariel beamed a warm smile down at Mia that sparkled with a grace that belied her size.

“Thank you, Lady Mia, for your assistance in bringing my husband home,” Mariel said extending both hands to Mia. Mia placed her hand in the Queen’s and her long, slender fingers engulfed hers warmly. “Tonight we shall feast in your honor.” She turned her head and nodded to Ureliel, “Please, Ureliel, show our friends to their chambers; have baths drawn for them and search throughout the castle for robes for our honored guests.” Mariel turned back to Mia and said, “We have much to talk about, you and I, I think.”

Bodie looked at Daniel. “Girl-talk, wherever you go it’s always the same.”

Daniel wagged his tail enthusiastically. “You would know.”

                                                             
Chapter 59 - Pirate Chips

Nine mo
nths after infection

Somewhere over
Northern Kentucky

              The Bigfoot hunkered down behind where the Pirate sat and started picking at Arlington’s scalp; at first Neff thought that Laptu was reverting back to some primate behavior. The gargantuan’s enormous leathery hands were surprisingly gentle and it tickled, making Arlington shiver convulsively.

             
“Laptu, what are you doin’?”

             
“Chip,” said the Pedtu.

             
“I thought your name was Laptu.”

             
The beast tapped a brown leathery finger to Arlington’s head “Chip.”

             
“I don’t get you, big man.”

             
“Chip,” responded the Pedtu in a matter of fact tone and began picking at Arlington’s head again.

             
“Ah yes, of course, chip. Whatever was I thinking,” said Arlington sarcastically.

             
“Chip,” agreed Laptu and, again, tapped the back of Arlington’s head with an index finger.

             
Arlington sat there smiling stupidly, but then the smile began to slowly vanish from his face. “Chip?” he whispered as realization cast a dark shadow across his mind.

             
“Chip!” agreed the Pedtu and slapped his palms on the polished metal floor.

             
Arlington was instantly angry. How could something like that simply slip his mind? Arlington Neff, the conspiracy nut, had simply forgotten about a micro-chip that had been implanted in his head. He scanned the passing landscape beneath the saucer, found a clearing on a small knoll and gently eased the ship to the ground.  Once settled, he spun his chair around to face the kneeling Pedtu and looked up into the large, intelligent eyes, those almost human eyes.

             
“What about the chip?” asked Arlington in a slightly irritated tone.

             
The Pedtu pointed to the back of his own head. “Out,” said the Pedtu and turned around giving Arlington access to the back of his shaggy brown head. Arlington thought of some documentary about Dian Fossey he had watched in high school.

“Out,” repeated the Pedtu patiently.

              Arlington eased the long hairs apart and began to feel about the Pedtu’s scalp with his fingertips. He couldn’t feel any bumps. Then Laptu gently took one of Arlington’s fingers and placed it on a precise part of the back of his primate skull. Arlington’s pupils dilated slightly when he felt it. It was tiny, no larger than the lead of a pencil.

             
“Out,” said Laptu.

             
“You want me to take the chip out of your head?” asked Arlington already knowing the answer but making sure anyway.

             
“Out!”

             
Arlington’s mind worked in two distinct lines of thought that directly opposed each other. On line number one was his base self, the conspiratorial side. Micro chips, mark of the beast, big brother, mind control; all these things he had believed to be true for so many years were firmly rooted into his psyche. But battling this every step of the way was the thought of what he had become and what the Anunnaki had given him…a second chance at living. They had given him a purpose and they had healed him from the inside out. No longer was he just some barely coherent alcoholic with a generic hook from the VA. He was not that self-imposed hermit that had no friends. Hell, they had even given him a friend to hang out with, albeit a giant lumbering Sasquatch with a three year old’s vocabulary. In his head he heard over and over,
don’t take it out, it will ruin everything.
He had no desire to go back to being that waste that he had been.

             
Reason flooded his mind. Why had he been chosen by the Anunnaki?  Was it because his resourceful mind had seen through the shams that others considered un-based conspiracy theories? Or was it because he had already brainwashed himself with half-truths? Because really, that is all they had been- half truths. He had not actually been right about anything had he? Half right maybe, but philosophically speaking, ‘half right’ was still basically wrong.

             
Ultimately the answer was clear. Laptu wanted it out so the chip had to go.

             
“I’ll have to cut it out Big Boy.”

             
“Out,” said Laptu and nodded his head for emphasis.

             
“Well, let’s do this thing,” Arlington said and fished his lock blade from its sheath on his belt. He flipped the nub on the side of the blade with his thumb and opened it expertly with one hand.

             
“This is probably gonna sting so don’t be rippin’ my arm off and beatin’ me with it ya big galoot.”

             
Laptu laughed a low guttural, almost growling sound. Arlington shivered unconvinced of its intent, because to him it sounded a lot like the laugh of an evil scientist.

             
He placed the tip of the blade against the tiny bump. “Here goes nothin’,” he said and cut a small incision in the Pedtu’s scalp. As with any minor head wound, blood gushed from it. Arlington wiped away the blood to no avail and used his sense of touch to find the chip. He pried up on it with the tip of the blade. Laptu did not make a sound, nor did he flinch at the pain. As he pried up on the chip Arlington took a closer look and saw that tiny thread like tendrils ran from the chip and had attached tiny hooks to the dermis. There were hundreds of the silk tendrils. He began to methodically cut through them. The tensile strength of the tendrils was incredible, but still he continued cutting and prying, cutting and prying. He noticed that the Pedtu’s head moved as he forcefully pried up at the threads, but still Laptu make no indication of pain or even discomfort.

             
Finally, Arlington severed the last of the threads and eased the blade beneath the chip. The blood was beginning to coagulate and he used the tackiness of the blood to hold the chip in place on the blade. As he did so he saw that the threads were waving, searching for someplace to latch on to. He quickly withdrew the chip before that could happen. Arlington turned and wiped it on the console to examine it. The chip was smooth and cylindrical, an iridescent blue color to the metal, it was now inert, and the tendrils had stopped swaying and searching. It looked so benign, just a tiny piece of metal.

“It’s out Laptu,”
Arlington mumbled over his shoulder.

             
The beast stood, and Arlington still looking over his shoulder, saw that the Pedtu’s equilibrium was shaken. Laptu stumbled and then regained his balance.

             
The Pedtu held up one hand waving him off without a word, his back still to Arlington.

             
“Why don’t you go lay down, old buddy,” Arlington suggested. The Pedtu nodded and with uncertain steps made his way from the bridge of the ship back to what Arlington  assumed was his enclosed cave habitat. Arlington wondered how long it would be before Noah contacted him. He wondered if they would know that Laptu’s chip had been removed and he also wondered if that was really the alien’s name, and how much of his story had been lies. Still, he found himself grateful for what they had done for him. He supposed he always would be.

             
He decided that for now, the chip in his own head would remain intact.

             
The Greenbrier, he had been wondering if his old friend had made it there in one piece and if he was still there. If he was, Arlington wondered if he would like to cruise around in sci-fi style for a while.