Arianna Rose: The Arrival (Part 4) (15 page)

“There’s nothing to say,” Arianna said and began pulling at a loose thread on her comforter.  “Desmond is not who I
thought he was.”  The admission made her voice falter.  Scalding tears gathered in the corners of her eyes before stealing down her cheeks in searing streams.  She swiped them with her fingertips. 

Beth fidgeted more and fairly mangled her hands as she continued to wring them. 
“I heard a commotion, yelling and thumping and I assumed you two were fighting.” Her eyes rushed around the room.  “But I never thought, I mean, who would have guessed?”  Her voice trailed off and her words hung, suspended in the air.

“Certainly not me,” Arianna said sadly.

Unexpectedly, Beth came around to the side of the bed and gave her a wooden hug.  “I’m sorry I’m not better at this,” Beth apologized.  “I haven’t had many friends over the years.  I don’t have a lot of experience with this kind of stuff.”

“Don’t worry about it, Beth,” Arianna patted her back.  “We’re more
alike than you think.”

Beth sighed and
stepped back.  Relief washed over her features and her arms fell slack at her sides.  “It’s not like my parents didn’t hug me growing up or anything,” she qualified.  “But I’m just, well, not as comfortable with it as most people are.  I mean, I care and all, I’m just not good at all the affection stuff.”

“No worries.  I’m not good at it either,” she told a hal
f-truth.  The reality of it was she hadn’t had much experience with affectionate people.  Her mom had hugged her so few times she struggled to recall the instances and could count them on one hand.  Her father, whoever the hell he was, had never been in her life.  Friends had been scarce.  And boyfriends, well, time was teaching her that they maintained their own agendas, ones that did not include concern for her. 

“So do you want to talk about it?” Beth asked and from the tone of her voice, Arianna could tell she had mixed feelings about it. 

“What’s there to talk about?” she let her friend off the hook.  “Who needs to rehash the whole thing?  I woke up and saw that Desmond wasn’t here, looked around this place and didn’t see him then went outside.  I heard moaning.”  Her eyelids fluttered and she nearly gagged on the last word.  “I followed the sound only to find Amitt riding Desmond like a jockey.”  She hadn’t realized she’d grabbed a fistful of her covers and clenched them so tightly they’d scrunched around her waist.  She followed Beth’s eyes to the bunched blanket and released it.  She looked down at her hands and saw crescent-shaped gouges in her palms. 

“Wow,” Beth said then whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, but thanks.”

Beth he
sitated a moment then swallowed hard.  “What did he say when he saw you?” she asked softly. 

Arianna laughed bitterly.  “Huh, that was the best part of all,” she said, her words dripping with
resentment.  “He said it was my fault.”  Her lips curled back over her teeth.  “Can you believe that?  My fault!”

“I don’t understand,” Beth’s eyes narrowed.  “Your fault?”

“Well first, of course, he gave me the old standby it-was-an-accident excuse.”

“How is cheating an accident exactly?”

“I know, right?  I asked him something along the lines of ‘what, you slipped and fell penis-first into her?’ which is right around the time he started saying it was my fault.”

“Jeez!” Beth snarled in disgust.  She plunked her backside down on the bed and placed a hand atop Arianna’s.  She ga
ve it a gentle squeeze before retracting it.  The gesture, though small, was enormously heartening.  For someone who deemed herself ‘not good at the affection stuff,’ Beth’s act was pitch-perfect in Arianna’s book. 

“None of it makes sense.  I never would have thought Desmond could do something like this,” Beth echoed her sentiments exactly.  “The two of you were supposed to be destined to be together as far as I know.  It doesn’t make sense.  I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either,” Arianna concurred and felt the lump in her throat balloon dangerously.

“Maybe he lost his mind when he went to Agnon’s,” Beth proposed.  “Maybe what he saw, like, fractured his mind or something.
”

“Beth, his mind could have been bent like a contortionist’s body in Cirque du Whatever, it’s still no excuse for sleeping with someone else – his cousin, for heaven’s sake!” Arianna protested. 

“No, you’re right,” Beth said softly.  You’re right.  There isn’t a logical reason that explains his actions away.”  Beth combed a small hand through her dark pixie cut and sighed somberly.  “So after you confronted him and he tried the accident defense then switched to the your-fault plea, what did you do?”

“Well,” Arianna started and licked her lips.  “Let’s just say I am not that girl who holds her head high and leaves with dignity.”

“What do you mean?” Beth’s brows gathered for a moment then a thought seemed to dawn on her.  “The thumping!” she said and her eyes widened.  “That was you?”

Arianna frowned and nodded.  The corners of Beth’s mouth curved upward ever-so-slightly.  “It’s okay.  You can smile, Beth,” Arianna said.  “You should have seen the looks on their faces when I made a fucking tornado of crap swirl in the room,” she added and heard mirthless laughter escape her. 

“No!” Beth erupted.

“Oh yes,” Arianna said and a fit of wildly inappropriate laughter overlook her.  Beth, who’d apparently been stifling a laugh, let loose with a snort that gave way to uncontrollable giggles. 

“I hope they at least got hit with a lamp or some shoes, the assholes!” Beth could barely speak and gasped as she bent so deeply from the waist, her forehead touched the bed. 

“Honestly, I don’t remember if they did. But I do recall Amitt l
osing a chunk of hair.” Beth’s head shot up and Arianna raised her hands and made her fingers dance.  Beth clapped and hooted and both of them both collapsed with laughter, though Arianna’s bordered on hysteria.

Tears gushed from Beth’s eyes and she could not manage a sentence. 
Neither could Arianna.  They just continued to laugh until her cheeks hurt and the muscles in her stomach were tender. 

“Oh wow,” Arianna said as she blotted her eyes with her sleeves.  “I don’t remember the last time I laughed that hard.”

“Me neither,” Beth said as she wiped her tears from her face.  “It’s such a bad situation.  You have to laugh.”

Her friend was right.  There was nothing funny about what happened.  But she could not deal with the gravity of her situation at the moment.  She’d needed exactly what had happened.  She’d needed a release that did not involve wallowing.  She’d needed a distraction.  She’d needed a friend, a good friend who knew her well enough to let her be herself and hurt in her own way, in her own time. 

“Thanks, Beth.” Arianna said. 

Beth’s eyes settled on hers and the faintest
bands of pink tinged her cheeks.  “What?” she asked uncomfortably. 

“Thanks,” Arianna said again with a shrug.  “Turns out, you’re pretty good at all this friendship stuff.  No slobbering.  No coddling.  You were pretty perfect.”  Arianna offered a half-smile. 

“If you say so,” Beth raised her shoulders then dropped them.  But her eyes shined a bit brighter and her head tilted a little higher.  “Just don’t try to make out with me or anything,” she furrowed her brow and nudged Arianna’s leg. 

Arianna shook her head and Beth winked. 
“Try and get some sleep.  Everything will be here in the morning.  No sense in dealing with it when you’re exhausted,” Beth said and stood. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Arianna agreed.

Beth turned and made her way to the door.  She placed a hand on the handle and stopped.  “You deserve better, Arianna, you know that right?”  She turned halfway so that she watched Arianna from the corner of her eye. 

“I don’t know anything right now,” Arianna said in a near-whisper. 

“You will get through this and you’ll know then,” Beth faced her fully before turning with jerky, robotic movements to the doorknob.  Without another word, she turned it, opened the door and stepped out into the night. 

Arianna
watched Beth disappear. She still could not believe what had happened.  And no matter how hard her mind tried to grasp the reason for Desmond’s deplorable behavior, it held to strands as insubstantial and elusive as the threads of a spider web, collapsing and slipping through its grip.  It all seemed unreal, nightmarish.  

She dropped against her pillow and closed her eyes. 
Exhaustion enveloped her, cradling her with warm arms and the promise of velvety oblivion.  She succumbed to it and was instantly carried on a blackened wave that swayed slowly and rocked her into a deep, dreamless slumber.  Blissful, blessed sleep found Arianna. 

Chapter 11

The last warm rays of day dissolved behind a
periwinkle-blue sky.  Arianna had just completed a lengthy training session and was making her way back to her cabin flanked by Beth and her brother, Dane, while Jason walked a few steps behind them. 

“You are coming out with us tonight,” Dane announced.

Arianna was not sure of whom he’d addressed but assumed it was not her.  Even he knew better than to command her to do anything, least of all a night on the town. 

“Arianna, you hear me?” he asked and she bristled. 

“Yeah, okay.  That’s funny,” she dismissed his ridiculous attempt at an invite.  “Take Beth with you.  She could use a night away from this place.”  And by “this place” Arianna had meant her depressed self.  Weeks had passed since her confrontation with Desmond.  She’d forced herself to keep busy, focusing on meditating with Briathos and sparring with the rest of the novices during the day.  But most nights, she’d stayed holed up in her cabin.  Beth had spent the majority of those nights with her, playing cards sometimes, but mostly just talking.  And almost every conversation reverted back to Desmond.  Beth deserved a break from listening to her whine.

“Oh she’s coming too,” Dane promised.  “Especially since this was all her idea.”

Arianna stopped walking and spun to face Beth, who’d been unusually quiet during their return to the compound.  “You’re in on this?” she asked accusingly.  Surprise and a hint of fear flashed in Beth’s eyes when she’d turned on her suddenly.  Everyone froze and exchanged furtive glances.  “Oh calm down people, I’m not going to melt down or anything.  There won’t be a tornado of trees if that’s what you’re worried about.”  Arianna cocked her head to one side and splayed her hands out in front of her in mock surrender.  “Really, I promise.”  She poked fun at herself and everyone visibly relaxed.  “Jeez, where’s the trust?” she muttered under her breath.

“For the record,” Beth spoke.  “I did not think you were going to uproot trees and make a tornado.  I was just a little afraid you’d freak out, you know, in the traditional, pissed-off sense.”

“Well that isn’t coming either.  My answer is no, plain and simple.”  Arianna shrugged and started walking again.  When no one followed, she looked over her shoulder.  Beth remained where she was and so did Dane and Jason.

“Hello?  Are we going back to camp or what?” she asked impatiently.

Beth and the others ignored her and she contemplated going back by herself.  But a quick glance at their faces made her reconsider.  She doubled back to where they stood stubbornly.

Arianna folded her arms across her chest.  “Okay, out with it” she encouraged them to voice their grievances. 

Beth looked between her brothers then spoke.  “We reject your answer,” she said in a strong clear voice.

“Excuse me?” Arianna’s
asked, her eyes narrowing and her brow furrowing. 

“We reject your answer,” Beth repeated.

“O
kay
, Good for you,” Arianna said.  “But that doesn’t change anything.  I’m still not going.”

“Why?” Beth asked without the slightest trace of combativeness. 

Arianna jabbed a hand through her hair.  “Well, I’m just not, you know, up for it.  I’m not in the mood,” she fumbled. 

“Lame!” Dane bellowed.  “That is a lame-ass reason.”

Arianna’s hands flew to her hips and she leveled a deadly gaze at him.  “Anyone ever tell you you’re obnoxious?”

“At least once a day,” he grinned proudly and displayed the deep dimples at the center of both his cheeks. 
“But that doesn’t mean that your whole I’m-not-in-the-mood-to-go-out excuse isn’t lame.”  He shadow boxed and danced around her.  “You need to put on something other than those ratty sweats you sit around in all night and get out.  Live a little!  I mean, damn girl, you can get back to the whole mopey routine tomorrow night.”

Arianna
twirled to follow his movements and found that she was having a tough time maintaining her hardened expression.  A smile teased and bent the edges of her lips upward. 

“Ah, see?  You know I’m right,” he bragged with exaggerated bravado.  “It’s all right, mama.  It’s all good.  You can thank me in the morning when you wake up and realize you had actual fun the night before.” He trotted and did an irritating victory dance. 

As he did, Beth leaned in and whispered in her ear.  “He’s like a dog humping your leg.  You never know whether it’s best to whack him with a rolled newspaper or just let him finish.”  Arianna faced Beth whose expression was deadpan, but not for long. An enormous smile split her face and she snorted then chuckled.  Arianna laughed as well.