As I Close My Eyes (19 page)

“
Sorry. Sorry,” I mumbled to her.

When I got outside I struggled to compose myself and took deep breaths to calm down. It still didn’t make any sense but I had to find out more. Did Robert and Caroline really exist? Somehow, all of this information was stored in my brain and just now released as fact.

I took a few minutes to collect my thoughts and then went back into the library and calmly sat down. This time, the map was clear and I could see a little square labeled Bigsley. I started to retrace my dreams and realized that Mrs. Bigsley was the neighbor in Cape May who ran to us after the fire. Next to her house was another square that said “R. Marcum.” 

This was all real. That would mean that Caroline was real, too. Since I didn’t know her maiden name, I couldn’t confirm her existence on the map with only last names listed. I traced the streets with my fingers, envisioning Robert and Caroline walking together. My dreams had turned into reality in a matter of minutes. They were all real. Everyone I had encountered in Cape May had been alive at one time. What I dreamt had actually occurred.

I began a plan of attack in my head for an investigation that would hopefully lead me to some answers. I’d have to go to Cape May with Ben and research Robert’s law license and Caroline’s last name. Maybe I could find photos or documents, anything that would help me figure this out.

I wanted to stay longer, but I couldn’t take any more information. It was all too much too quick. I packed up my things and checked the book out so I could show Ben when I saw him next and headed home.

I really needed a night with Shannon, Brad, and Eric. They were always good for distraction. Only, I wasn’t sure how real this reality was yet. I couldn’t be a hundred percent convinced until I saw some concrete evidence, like a picture or a signed document of some kind.

As I got into the car, I called Ben at the bookstore.

“
You’re not going to believe this, but everything I’ve been dreaming actually happened,” I said to Ben on the phone.

“
Really? Like what?”

“
Well, Robert really existed and so did this neighbor I dreamt about. And there really was a fire in 1878, and
-
”

“
Whoa! Slow down, Dani. I don’t even know what you’re saying.”

“
Sorry.” I began to cry. “It’s just that, I never expected to find anything. I thought I was just having some crazy dreams because I hit my head and now I know it’s something more.”

“
Dani, I would love to hear more about this, but I have to go. Right now, I’m with a customer, but we can talk later.”

Ben hung up and I felt so alone. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about what was happening to me. I began to feel like he was never going to call me back. However, when I put that feeling aside, I realized that what scared me the most was how my mind could possibly do all of this without me knowing any of it consciously. After we hung up, it occurred to me that I hadn’t given Ben any details about my dreams except that there was a man who looked very similar to him and that it took place in Cape May in the 1800s. He was probably so confused by me blabbing about a fire since I hadn’t filled him in on that part yet. My head spun. Even though I was excited to have found a starting point to ending this madness, it was too much to grasp. I thought I should take a pill or something, maybe go and see a professional about these delusions. But they weren’t delusions. The discovery of the fire and the names on the map opened a gate I didn’t think I was ready to walk through yet. 

I arrived home minutes later and as I entered the house, the phone rang. It was Eric.

“
Hey, we’re all down at the lake. Wanna come and meet us?”

“
Yeah. Are we okay, Eric?”

“
We’re good. Just forget we ever had that conversation. Let’s go back to being us again.”

That answered my question. “Okay, good. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

I went up to my bedroom and placed the Cape May book on top of
Pride and Prejudice
, which sat on the nightstand next to my bed. I felt a hint of guilt since I hadn’t even opened
Pride and Prejudice
to read one single page. I had just started getting to the point where I looked forward to going to sleep, and reading would get in the way of that. Once my head hit the pillow, all I wanted to do was see what Robert and Caroline were up to.

I hoped to hear from Ben and thought he’d call me back after practically hanging up on me earlier. I had to keep reminding myself that he had a business to run and probably had more important things to do than to reassure me that everything was going to be okay.

After throwing on my trusty flip-flops, I headed out the door to the lake. My three friends picked me up at the dock. This was my first time getting on the boat since the accident. I took a deep breath, pushing aside any anxiety.

“
Where’s Benny?” asked Brad as I climbed into the boat.

“
His name’s not Benny,” I responded back. “B-E-N is at his bookstore working, which is more than I can say for you, Brad. You don’t own anything, this is your parents’ boat, those clothes were definitely bought by your daddy, and the sunglasses you have on are fake.” 

“
Calm down, Dani. I was just kidding around.”

“
Whatever. I’m sick of all three of you acting as if Ben and I aren’t serious. This isn’t some fling, guys, and I don’t appreciate your lack of support.”

“
You okay?” asked Shannon as she handed me a drink.

“
Yeah. I’ve just had an interesting day. I don’t mean to take it out on all of you.”

“
What was so interesting today?” asked Eric.

“
Oh, I don’t want to talk about it. It’s complicated.” There was no way I was about to tell the three of them on the boat about my dreams. In fact, I hadn’t planned on ever telling them. I’d just get made fun of for the rest of my life.

“
See, that’s the problem, Dani. You won’t let us in so we assume it’s not serious with you and Ben because you don’t tell us anything. You meet this random hot guy in a random hot town and next thing we know he’s coming to dinner at your mama’s house. You’ve never brought anyone to dinner with us before. It’s just strange, is all,” Shannon commented.

“
I know. You’re right,” I replied, slightly annoyed though I didn’t want to show it.

After an hour of sunning myself in silence, my phone rang.

“
Dani, it’s Ben.”

“
Hey. I’m glad you called me back.”

“
Yeah, sorry about that. A bunch of people came into the store this afternoon and then I did some investigative work on your dreams for the rest of the day.”

“
You did?”

“
Yeah, and I found interesting things. I’m not sure how it all fits together, though. Can I come down tonight instead of tomorrow? I don’t think this can wait.”

“
Absolutely. I’ll meet you at my house in an hour.” We hung up the phone and I began to pack up my things.

“
Are you leaving us?” asked Shannon.

“
Yeah, Ben wants to see me. Brad, would you mind taking me to the dock?”

“
You just got here,” Eric whined.

“
I know. I’m sorry. Listen, I’ll explain everything later but right now I just really need to get back home.”

I felt like I was torn between three worlds. There was the world I spent my time in with Shannon, Brad, and Eric; the world of Robert and Caroline; and now a new world with Ben, which my friends just didn’t understand.

Most guys would have changed their phone number and high-tailed it out of the country if I told them what was happening to me, but Ben stuck around. In fact, he surprised me by spending so much time researching. I couldn’t wait to hear about what he found.

Chapter 17

I could see the light on in the living room as I turned into the driveway. There were three people standing around talking. Ben couldn’t have made it here already, I just talked to him. Miraculously, there was his Audi, right next to Bill’s car. How the hell did he get here so quickly?

“
Hey, Dani,” said Ben as I threw open the front door.

“
How’d you get here so fast?”

“
Oh, I called you from the car earlier. I was already on my way.”

“
You couldn’t tell me that when we were on the phone?” I was slightly annoyed even though I was extremely happy to see him.

“
I thought you’d be happy I surprised you.”

“
Yeah, I am. I am. Sorry.” Now I felt bad.

“
Ben was just telling us about his lovely family in New Jersey,” said Mama. “So, when are y’all planning this trip to the North?”

I looked at him with narrowed eyes, visibly confused as to why he would bring that up to Mama and Bill without me around.

“
Um, we were going to go this weekend possibly. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“
I see,” said Mama.

“
I thought you had to work?” said Bill.

“
I switched with Andrea.” I had to think on my feet since I wasn’t prepared for all of this questioning.

No one said anything after that. The silence in the room was like a heavy fog. I held my breath until someone spoke.

“
Well, wanna go sit outside for a while, Dani?” asked Ben.

“
That’d be perfect,” I responded as I grabbed Ben’s hand to lead him out the front door and escape as fast as we could.

Once we were outside, I started my questioning.

“
Why would you bring that up without me around? I didn’t tell them ‘cause I knew they’d freak out about me going to meet your parents by myself.”

“
I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget that you still live at home and you’re sort of under their rules.”

“
It’s okay. I just have some damage control to do later, so you probably shouldn’t stay long. That would just make things worse.”

“
Whatever you think is best,” Ben said. “So, can I tell you what I found?”

“
Absolutely, I’m dying to know.”

“
First, I have to kiss you.”

I could spend hours on the porch kissing him but I wanted to hear about his findings. “So, what do you have there?”