Ascend (The Vampire Destiny Series Book #4) (8 page)

“There is no refusing a Council position.  You know this, vackra.”

“I’m not going to speak for Stefan, but I need time to think about this, Amir.  I am only days old,” I attempted to stall, using my transition time as the little bit of leverage I had left.

Amir smiled, exposing every single white tooth in his infuriating grin. “Stefan has agreed already.  You see, it is an honor to be chosen for the Council.  You will make the rules for our world.”

I met Stefan’s gaze across the room.  He nodded in acknowledgement, his blue eyes filled with helplessness.  As I stood among the room of men, I felt as if Stefan and I were being dragged unwillingly into a tangled web we’d be lucky to escape from unscathed.

“Will I have a say in how things are decided?  Or will I be there simply because of my bloodline and for show?” I asked boldly.  I knew I was heading down a dangerous road by even verbalizing and questioning Amir, but there was no stopping me when I was on a roll.

“Of course you will have a say.  We all will.  It will be different this time.” Amir stated, extending his hands palm up as if to show his sincerity.  “It is opportunity to change how our world is governed.”

  Even as he spoke, I heard the insincerity in his words.  Stefan had told me of how Amir wanted to run things.  The Council would only be there for show.

“Then I guess I have no choice, do I?” I replied quietly.  I started to turn away and stopped when my fingers touched the door.  It was then I faced them all again.  “There are things I need to attend to before I can devote my time to the Council.  And Stefan is my mate and maker.  I’ll need him to help me.  If you offer me a position I can’t refuse, you must give me the time I need to settle my human affairs.”

Amir stood taller and inclined his head.  “Of course.  Take as much time as you need.  If you need the Council’s assistance…”

“That won’t be necessary, Amir.  But thank you,” I murmured, quickly cutting him off.  “I will see you all soon.”

Opening the door, it was Amir’s voice that stopped me.  “Just remember that you are needed here.  Please do not linger in your travels.”

I made no offering to look back.  I simply nodded and slipped out the door, closing it with a quiet push.  Drawing in a ragged breath, I rested against the solid door and did my best to calm my frazzled nerves.

I knew now that there were things we needed to do that couldn’t be put off anymore.  And now they were more important than ever.

***

I’d stripped out of my clothes and made a beeline for the shower.  I took my time washing my hair and scrubbing at my skin, as if soap and water could remove the encounter with Amir away.  Something had changed with him since the explosion at the Carriage House.  Had his near brush with death hardened him, or was he simply an opportunist with an ax to grind?

Frustrated, I turned off the shower and stepped out, grabbing a soft towel and drying off.  I wiped down the steamy mirror and my appearance shocked me.

I hadn’t seen myself since my change.  Taking another pass at the mirror with my towel, I leaned closer to look at my reflection.  I was amazed at the differences in my face.  My green eyes appeared bigger, sparkling like emeralds and were fringed with thick, dark eyelashes.  My skin was like porcelain and my dark, reddish blond hair seemed to be richer and thicker, hanging is loose waves past my shoulders.

And it wasn’t just my face.  As I jerked back from the mirror, I noticed the subtle differences to my body.  My breasts were higher and fuller, the already toned muscles of my arms and stomach more defined and tapered.

I’m not sure how long I spent just staring at myself in the mirror, shocked and amazed at the minute, yet significant changes that would make me unrecognizable to humans that had known me.  It was the one time that being a loner had paid off.  I wouldn’t have to avoid many people in fear they’d notice my transformation.

I ran my fingers through my damp hair and turned away to hurry to get dressed.  I couldn’t stand around all day staring at myself in the mirror.  I’d love to spend the day lounging around and without a worry in the world, but that wasn’t my life anymore.  In fact, it hadn’t been for a long time.

Poking around my closet, I grabbed at the first long sleeve t-shirt I could find and pulled it over my head.  Picking up my discarded jeans, I slipped them on.  My throat tingled, more of an irritation than a worry.  I knew I’d need blood, and I’d need it soon.

Yet another new reality to deal with, my need for blood.  No more espressos, no more wine.  Blood would be the only thing that would sooth my thirst and hunger.

My thoughts became focused on my thirst, and suddenly it was all I could think about.  I suddenly realized I had no idea how to feed.  I was totally and utterly dependent on Stefan.  Huffing angrily at being dependent on anything or anyone, I hurried down the hallway and into the kitchen.  I opened the refrigerator, opening and closing various drawers within the nearly empty appliance.  There were bottles of water, a bag of coffee, a few bottles of wine.

No blood.

Slamming the door shut, I stormed into the living room and was surprised to see Stefan sitting in the chair closest to the window.  My thirst had overridden everything, including my awareness of Stefan.

He was pitched forward slightly, his elbows bent and his fingers steepled under his chin.  His blue eyes were watching me intently, a single eyebrow cocked.  His mouth slowly and effortlessly curved into a small smile.  “You are thirsty?”

“Yes,” I murmured softly.  The tiny tickle that had been a mere annoyance just minutes ago had bloomed into full-fledged inferno.

He stood and swaggered unhurriedly towards me.  Once he reached me, I looked up into the endless blue of his eyes.  His hand reached up and stilled my hand, his long fingers wrapping around my wrist.  I’d been unconsciously stroking the outside of my throat, as if that alone could soothe the ache.

“Come.  Let me show you what you need to do.  I know you do not want to rely on me to help you.”

Smoothly, he turned and led me down the hallway into his office, his calloused fingertips drifting over my skin.  As soon as we entered the room, he motioned for me to sit in his desk chair.  He walked over to a small closet and opened the door.  It was then that he faced me again.

“The blood is kept here.  Lukas also keeps a supply, but it cannot be kept where it could be easily found.”  Stefan explained.  “Let me show you how to access this.”

In a blur, I was at his side.  He pointed to what looked like a large wall safe.  His fingers flew over a keypad, yet I was able to discern every number he pressed.  Once he pressed the final key, the door popped open an inch and a cool blast of air surprised me.

“It is a refrigerator.  In the beginning, two bags should suffice.  As you age, your thirst will weaken.  I now can get by on a bag every three weeks unless I am injured.”

His words barely registered.  I’d developed tunnel vision and all I could focus on was the blood.  Neatly stacked bags filled the surprisingly large space.  My eyes never left his hands as they removed two of the bags and he closed the safe.  His fingers tilted my chin up and he cleared his throat once to get my attention.

“I know that you are thirsty, however you need to stay calm for me.  Can you do this?” Stefan’s voice was calm and soothing, his movements slow and steady.  He knew my control was teetering and the agony I was suffering knowing blood was so close, yet so far away.

My mouth was suddenly as dry as the Sahara desert.  It was difficult to swallow, so I simply nodded, barely paying attention to the words.  I could only see the blood.

“Good.”  His gentle fingers wrapped around my wrist again as he led me back into the kitchen.  He only let me go long enough to retrieve a glass from the cabinet and he tore open the bag with his teeth.  He emptied the contents of one bag into the glass and tossed the empty bag into the trash.  My stare was fixed on the glass, watching as he placed it into the microwave.  “It can be consumed cold.  Warm is better.”

The microwave hummed softly and I watched the glass rotate on the small turntable.  I’d stopped breathing, simply watching and waiting.

When a soft beep sounded, I almost sprang from the seat in anticipation.  Stefan stepped in front of me and pushed me back, his blue eyes wary.  For a moment, I struggled against him, my shield barely under control.  Everything was tinted in a red haze and I wanted nothing more than to wrap it around him, simply because he stood in my way of what I wanted.  It wasn’t until Lukas’ soft words repeated in my head about disappearing that I snapped out of my daze and I stared at my feet in shame.

“Stefan...how can I do this?  I feel like I’m going to let you down.  Do you even trust me?” I questioned hoarsely.  His fingers slipped under my chin and he tilted my head up.  His ageless eyes stared into mine and a knowing smile curved his lips.

“I trust you with my life.  You will do this, just as you have handled everything else.  Think of what you have accomplished in such a short time.  Now is not the time for self doubt or pity.”  Stefan stated simply, his large hand cupping my cheek.  His eyes never faltered as he continued.  “You are a survivor.  You are my equal, Josephine.  You will overcome this thirst and you will flourish.  You only feel out of control when you see blood.  Anna is the same.  It will pass; it is you that needs to learn to control it.”

He turned away and I heard the clinking of metal against glass, dinging softly as his shoulder moved effortlessly.  The sharp metallic clang of metal sounded in the sink as he dropped the spoon he’d used to stir the blood.

“It is a matter of mind over matter.  Now drink.”  Stefan handed me the glass and my hands were shaking as I gripped the glass tightly in my hand.  Part of me wanted to savor the blood, letting the rich liquid soothe the rawness of my burning throat.  But the primal side of me wanted to drain the glass in one greedy swallow…just because I could.

In the end, it was somewhat of a combination of both.  My greedy gulps turned into smaller, more controlled swallows as I drank and my thirst was sated.  Stefan stood like a silent sentinel, his imposing frame a silent reminder of his stealth-like strength and power.

It wasn’t until I finished the glass and licked my lips that he moved.  He took the glass from me and methodically rinsed it out at the sink, seemingly lost in the menial task.  His thoughts were muddled, his mind purposely warded from my intrusion.

Hurt panged in my chest, like a knife in my heart.  He hadn’t said a word since I’d taken the glass from him and it appeared he was in no hurry.  Still uncomfortable in my new skin, I simply waited for Stefan to talk.

Grasping at my wrists, he held them above my head with one hand while the other cupped my face and traveled along the long expanse of my neck as he pinned me against the wall.  His fingers tweaked my nipples until they pebbled under his expert touch.  As he gazed down at me, his eyes were glittering pools of warring emotion.  I could see the love and lust that battled for dominance.

In that moment, I'd take either.

Even when I was partially human, I'd trusted Stefan.  When I thought back to those early days, I was amazed at my blind naiveté.  I had been and was still willing to allow myself be restrained by a vampire that wanted nothing more than to surrender himself to me...in more ways than one.  My eyes never left his face, and I watched him longingly.  He smiled widely, exposing his white, perfect teeth and his sexy lips that curled up deviously.  He nuzzled my nose with his own, his lips like gentle whispers against my cheek.  My long legs wrapped around his narrow hips, holding him close and firm against me.  I was no longer weak; I could easily break away from the hold he had on me.  I could easily use my shield to control the situation, to take control.

But I didn't want to break away and I didn't want control.  I wanted to climb inside of him, to know him from the inside out.

He rose up on one arm, the disarming look on his face surprising me.  "You are beautiful, vackra," Stefan whispered.  Reverent hands worshiped my skin, his truthful admission hanging in the air between us.  "This…this is the beginning of forever."

My brow furrowed at the brutal, honest truth of it...and at the words I wanted to reassure him with. I wanted to let him know I loved him and that I trusted him, but I couldn't find the words.  Instead of speaking, I flooded our bond with those heartfelt emotions.  I smiled and relaxed, letting his strong hands restrain me and watch with inquisitive eyes as he smiled drunkenly at my outpouring of adoration.