Ascending Darkness (Shattering the Darkness) (20 page)

“You mean… you were…?” Emma prompts.

“Yes,” I look at her with a sad smile, “I was forced into prostitution.”

Mya’s hand flies to her mouth as she chokes back a sob and I watch as a tear falls down Emma’s cheek. I hear a sniffle and look to my left to see Brynn tearing up.

“Fucking contacts,” she mumbles.

“You don’t have contacts, bitch,” Avery points out
, openly crying and looks to me, “Breccan has really helped you hasn’t he?” His lower lip trembles and reaches for my hand, clutching it in his. I nod my head at him, still with a sad smile.

“What do you mean?” Mya asks him. “How has he helped?”

“Up until two weeks ago Brynn, Nikko and I were the only ones who knew about this,” he answers her and pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket, blowing his nose and wiping his eyes.

“Oh, sweet Christ
,” Brynn rolls her eyes at him, “Who actually carries those anymore?”

“Moí, apparently,” he puts on his best ‘bitch-please’ face
, which is really quite the task with tears running down his face.

“Is Breccan really the reason you’re telling us?” Emma asks me.

“In a way… yes. We talked a lot last night. He made a lot of sense. And… I guess…” I bite my lip and look at Brynn and Avery and give them a smile, “I figured that if he can know this about me and still love me…” I shrug my shoulders, “that maybe I’m not all bad…”

“No, Harper. You’re amazing,” Mya says with wide eyes. “To come out of all that and be where you are today…” She shakes her head slowly; eyes still wide, “Wow… just wow…”

“Thanks, Mya. That means a lot,” I tell her, glad that they aren’t judging me.

“So how did you get… out of… that life?” Emma asks. “If you don’t mind me being so nosy.”

“Nikko,” I answer her. “His father was a friend of my parents’ and he tracked me down and found me… somehow.”

“Wow… thank God, for Nikko,” Mya says.

“Yes,” I state with a smile on my face, “He has done so much for me… I owe him everything.”

We’re all silent for a few moments as everyone process all of the information I just shared.

“Hold the phone!” Avery slams his hands in front of him on the table, breaking the silence. “Did Breccan tell you that he loves you!?”

“Yeah
,” I bite my lip again, “last weekend.” I rush to explain before he can lecture me, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I only saw you one night and I didn’t want to say it in front of everyone and we were never alone and I told Brynn and I thought she would tell you.”

He switches his death glare over to Brynn.
I expel a breath in relief that his fury is no longer aimed at me.

“Hey, I was busy,” she defends herself.

“With Rich! You could have called!” He turns back to me and points his finger at me, “
You
could have called!” He throws his hands into the air, “You fucking women are killing me! I put everything in my entire being into being there for you and you can’t even tell me-”

“Avery, guess what?” I interrupt his rant with an enthusiastic voice.

“What?” he asks crossing his arms petulantly.

“Breccan told me he loved me,” I tell him like I was just informed of the details this morning.

He rolls his eyes at me, huffs out a breath and uncrosses his arms. He eyes me speculatively then changes his expression in a flash to one of giddiness.

“
Eeeee! Tell me everything!” he cries out.

We all laugh and proceed to gossip for the rest of the day.

“Yes I have everything,” Mya answers me. “I couldn’t have done all of this without you. Thank you so much.”

Nick is standing with her and wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him.

“Thank you
… really Harper,” he tells me.

“Of course,” I smile at both of them then look back to Mya, “Call me tomorrow okay? Let me know how your night was?” I ask.

“Absolutely,” she nods enthusiastically. “You two have a good night.”

“You too,” I say as I lean forward and hug her.

Nick leans over and kisses my cheek, “Thanks again, boss,” then turns to Breccan and shakes his hand, “Thanks for everything Brecc.”

I raise my eyebrows and look at Breccan. It seems he must have really bonded with everyone if they are all calling him by
my
nickname for him, especially since he always hated his name being abbreviated.

“Anytime,” Breccan answers, “Just call.”

“Will do,” Nick responds.

Breccan leans forward and kisses Mya on the cheek and I don’t miss the fact that she swoons a bit. Not that I can blame her.

“That goes for you, too, Mya,” he tells her.

“Thanks, Breccan,” she blushes. 

We walk out of the apartment and down to Breccan’s car.

“Brecc…?” I question him.

He shrugs his shoulders, a smile on his face and pulls me close into his side.

“It’s rubbing off, apparently,” he says, smile still in his voice, and leans down to kiss me on my temple.

About thirty minutes later we pull into the underground garage of my apartment. Breccan gets out and comes around to let me out.

I learned earlier in the week that he prefers for me to allow him to get the door for me. When I asked him what the hell for he simply smiled and said, “Precious cargo, baby. Just making sure I get you safely from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’.” And that was just too fucking sweet to argue with, so… I now let him get the door for me.

We make our way to the elevator and he enters the code. After we step in he pulls me into his side and I lean heavily into him.

“Tired, dove?” he asks me quietly.

“Yeah…” I let out a yawn. “It was a long day. But a good one.”

“I’m glad you had fun.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he rubs my arm with his hand. “Nikko is keeping Bane again tonight,” he tells me.

“Good. I don’t think I am up for taking
him for a walk tonight,” I yawn again.

The elevator
pings
and we step out into my apartment and make our way to the stairs.

“I told the girls about my… past,” I tell him looking forward as we walk up the spiral staircase.

“Really?” I can hear the surprise in his voice and see him turn his head towards me.

“Yeah,” I say and continue hesitantly, “
Because of you.”

We walk into my bedroom and Breccan sits on the bed, pulling me forward between his thighs.

“Because of me?” he asks with a puzzled expression.

“Yes…” I reach up and pull his hair out of the ponytail it’s been in all day, ruffling his hair up with both of my hands and then smoothing it down. I look back into his eyes absentmindedly noticing for the thousandth time today how amazing he looks in his
loose fitting faded blue jeans and dingy white t-shirt. “You may be finally getting through to me,” I smile at him.

“How so?” he smiles back and reaches for the waist of my faded cut off shorts, slowly undoing the button and zipper.

“Maybe… I am worth something,” I shrug. His hands freeze on the waist of my shorts and his eyes lock on mine. “If you can love me… knowing about my past…” I shake my head, amazed at the soul of this man, “You really don’t care, do you? That I was…” I look down, still ashamed, “with all those men.”

My jaw clenches
to hide the embarrassment from my face. I can feel the tear slip from my eye and I don’t even try to catch it.

“Dove…”
his voice filled with concern.

“You have to know…” I
look up into his eyes pleading with him, “You must know… that if I could take it all back I would, Brecc. I never wanted it.” I shake my head. “Not really. I felt so disgusted with myself all the time-”

“Shh… dove…” he interrupts me.

“I still feel disgusted,” I ignore him, “Whenever I think about it… all those things… all those…” I swallow hard choking on the lump clogging my throat, “those fucking pricks… I have to shower. And it doesn’t feel like I’ll ever be clean!” I sob out.

For the first time in a very long time
, I break. I can’t hold it in. Breccan stands and wraps me up in his arms.

“I hate myself for it!” I cry out into his chest hitting my fist against it. “I would give every penny of the money I have just to get the life I should have had. With my real parents.” I sob harder, not even sure if he can understand me now
. My legs buckle and he catches me, supporting my weight. “I didn’t deserve that life. I didn’t deserve to be used that way. To have my innocence stolen from me like that.” Breccan’s arms spasm around me tighter. “I didn’t deserve any of that and I never realized it…” My voice lowers as I say, “Until you found me…”

“
Harper…” his voice breaks on the word. “No… you didn’t deserve any of that, baby.” He slowly rubs his hands up and down my back trying to soothe me. “You didn’t…”

After a few minutes, I look up at him; my arms bunched up between us. His hand comes around and wipes the tears from my face.

“I’m sorry…” I whisper. I have never been this emotional. “I…” I try to think of someway to explain my behavior, but nothing comes to me.

“Hey…” he says softly, running his thumb across my cheek. “You don’t have to apologize and you don’t have to explain.”

I nod and drop my eyes from his.

“Thanks…” my voice cracks. “I’m sure that’s the last thing you wanted to do.” I wipe the rest of the tears off my face, “Deal with a hysterical woman
,” I try to laugh it off.

“Hey,” he says lifting my face back up to his, “No. I didn’t
want
to.” I feel sadness shine in my eyes and I nod my head again. “
But
you…” he brushes my hair back, watching his hand as he does before making eye contact again, “you, dove… You’re not just anyone… You’re
mine
… And my job is to protect you…” He leans down and kisses the corner of my mouth. “To comfort you…” He moves and kisses the other corner. “You are mine to care for…” He softly brushes his lips against mine and my heart rate begins to kick up. Small charges of electricity begin to shoot through my veins. “I love you…” His tongue softly brushes against my lips and my mouth opens of its own accord. “And for you to share with me…” Another sweep of his tongue, this time partially in my mouth and my tongue reaches to meet his. “To trust me with that…” he whispers, his lips moving against mine, “to allow me to be there for you…” Another brush of his lips against mine. “Well…” He raises his head and looks into my eyes, “Nothing could make me love you more.”

My heart stutters and stops for a moment and when it picks up again it is racing double time. I feel my lips tremble and I pull them in between my teeth to try to keep from crying again.

“Thank you…” I finally choke out, swallowing hard past the lump that has reformed in my throat.

“Anything…
” he whispers, “for you.”

His mouth comes down on mine and his tongue immediately seeks out
my own. Emotions and a thousand different sensations explode throughout my body making me cling to him, digging my nails into his arms. My breathing picks up even more, trying to get oxygen to my lungs without breaking contact with his mouth.

He falls back onto the bed, taking me with him and I straddle his hips. My hands move down to the hem of his shirt and I slide it over
his head, breaking contact with his mouth for the briefest of moments.

My hands run all over his chiseled torso, checking for any new dips and valleys that need memorized. My nail catches on his nipple and he gasps
, then moans low in his chest, the rumble of it vibrating against my hands. A surge of wetness pours out of me, making my nails reflexively dig into his chest while I grind my hips onto his erection that is trying to break through his jeans.

His hands move to my shirt and he has it off me in a flash.
Our mouths reconnect and our tongues continue to dance. My fingers travel down his toned chest and abdomen to the waist of his jeans and begin to unbutton them. He raises his hips so that I can slide them down partway under me, freeing his cock, which is so beautiful I want to weep again. He moves his jeans further down his legs until he kicks them off, while simultaneously reaching behind me to pull me closer to him; one hand fisting my hair.

He rolls us over so that he is on top of me in the center of the massive bed. He sits up on his knees
, making me whimper at the loss of contact with his mouth. His hands move to slide my shorts and panties off of me, then tosses them over his shoulder before coming back to me, reaching behind me and unhooking my bra and sliding it off.

He covers my body with his, but instead of giving me back his mouth, he moves to my neck and begins to kiss a trail up and down along my pulse. His fingers pinch and tweak my nipple until his mouth slowly travels down to pull the other nipple into his mouth.

My hands clasp his hair into my fists, holding him against me as I moan and writhe beneath him. He spreads my legs with his, pressing his erection up against my opening.