Ascending Darkness (Shattering the Darkness) (21 page)

“Yes…” I gasp out.

Instead of entering me he moves down my torso, kissing along the way. My arms fall to the side as I watch his progression. He gets to my mound and looks up at me. His eyes hold mine for an immeasurable amount of time, filling with potent desire and making my brain short circuit. My mouth opens slightly and I breathe heavy, the anticipation building more… and more…

“I love you…” he whispers before dropping his head and licking my clit.

My hips buck off the bed, but he pushes them back down with one hand, while reaching for my nipple with the other. My left hand goes back to his hair to hold on for the ride, the other bunching up the sheet to anchor myself to the bed.

He continues to lick and flick and moan against me. He moves his hand that is holding me down and inserts two fingers into me. My eyelids flutter as my eyes roll back with the pleasure and I let out a long and tortured moan with my rapidly building orgasm.

“Brecc… oh…
fuck!
” I cry out the last word as my orgasm hits me, my back bowing off the bed.

He continues to run his tongue up my opening, circling my clit until I come down from the aftershocks, then he makes his way up my body, kissing as he goes until his glorious face is right above mine.

I lift my head and press my lips to his, licking myself off of his lips. He lowers himself onto his elbows and lines his cock up with my opening, teasing me with it. My hands rest on his shoulders, prepared for him to enter me. My legs lift and wrap around his waist, locking at the ankles.

“Make love to me, Brecc…” I drop my head back on the pillow and look deep into his eyes.

More emotions surge through me, swelling my heart even more for him with the surprise I can see shining slightly in his eyes with desire, as I have never asked him to make love to me.

I always beg to be fucked.

And I love it when he fucks me… but… right now… I need him to love me…

“Dove…” he whispers and lowers his mouth back to mine.

He slowly enters me, while at the same time kissing me with a slow passion; my nails dig into his shoulders and my legs tighten around him.

He slowly thrusts in and out of me
… endlessly… our mouths never breaking contact…

I love him…

My heart feels almost broken with the love that is filling it. I’ve never felt this way before. So full of love that it scares me. I can tell how fragile it is and that the slightest wrong step could break me at any moment.

My lips part as he breaks contact to look into my eyes. My inner muscles begin to spasm around his cock making it throb harder inside of me. I can feel every vibration…
breath… heartbeat… that his body is giving off.

I’m so attuned to him
… and I know he is just as attuned to me.

My eyelids flutter again, but I keep my eyes on his as the slow wave of my orgasm washes over me, making me arch and gasp.

His mouth lowers to mine and he kisses me through my climax, riding the wave with me. He picks his pace up slightly; his hips becoming erratic. I can feel every muscle of his back tighten as I hold on. He pulls his mouth back and rests his forehead against mine, breathing heavy.

“Fuck… dove…” he breathes out as he thrusts into me one last time…

His body goes lax on top of mine. I tighten my limbs around him, holding him inside of me… Never wanting to let go…

My heart swells even more, proving that it won’t break… not by this man…

He rolls off me and pulls my back into his front wrapping his arms around me and entwining his legs with mine, softly kissing my hair.

“Sleep well, dove…” he whispers to me.

A contented smile forms on my lips as I slowly close my eyes. I reach up and hold on to his forearms that are holding me so close to him. I snuggle deeper into him, letting out a sigh of pure happiness.

I think of everything I have been through in my life and how it has led me to him.

I don’t believe in soul mates…

But I believe Breccan is probably the only man that would ever be strong enough to take me on.

If he had given up… when he first asked me out… like so many men before him… I wouldn’t have this…

This feeling…

The feeling of being truly wanted and accepted…

It is odd how Nikko, Brynn and Avery were never able to fill that void for me. I suppose… perhaps because it is a different kind of love. They love me for me, but Breccan… he
wants
me.

Wants me even though I was basically used as a depository for hundreds of men. He understands how I think… how I don’
t want to be taken care of… I am an independent person; I don’t want to be controlled. But having someone want to take care of me…

Well… that is a game changer i
n this thing called life.

I squeeze his arms tight; loving how he reciprocates by tightening his
hold around me and pulling me deeper.

It’s time
…

“I love you, Breccan… Alexander… Caldwell…” I whisper to him in the dark, for once not feeling a cloud of that darkness hanging over me… changing who I am supposed to be…

His arms form a steel band around me and he buries his face into my neck, his breathing erratically washing over me.

“Dove…”
his voice breaks on the word.

I
roll over to face him, my hand resting on his stubble covered jaw. His eyes are bright in the dark room… that beautiful cerulean blue searching mine for the words he can’t find.

“I do…” I tell him, “I have… forever…” I reach up and press my lips to his. “You are all I’m ever going to want… All I’m ever going to need…” I whisper against his mouth.

He rolls over onto his back taking me with him so that I straddle his hips; reaching up to cup my face and pull it down to his.

“I love you, too,” he says and begins to kiss me ardently.

My hands cup his face; my arms resting on his chest. His erection rises beneath me so I raise up and slide back down onto it; both of us gasping at the pleasure and the moment. I slowly ride him while our upper bodies stay connected… staring into each other’s eyes…

“
Tell me again…” he orders on a quiet growl when he feels my walls begin to contract around him.

“I love you…” I breathe. My orgasm starts in my spine…

“Again…”

“I love you…” It travels up my spine to the back of my neck, immobilizing me…

“Again,” he thrusts upward, still holding my face.

“I love you…” It works its way back down my spine and travels down to my toes, making them curl.

“Say it, dove…” he pants out, his own orgasm beginning.

“I love you…” I cry out on a long moan as my climax reaches my core and explodes with fury through my veins, hitting every nerve…

His arms wrap around my torso, holding me in place as he thrusts upward for the last time, burying himself deeply inside me.

“I love you…” I say again.

“I love you, too, dove…” he growls into my ear, his voice hoarse with emotion.

It’s so dark. And cold…

I keep that to myself, though. No need to piss Stevie off even more than he already is.

Fucking Janelle.

Swear to Christ that bitch knows how to fuck everything up. Stevie was in a good mood all day. He somehow managed to acquire a girlfriend, so he has been leaving the rest of us alone for a couple of weeks. And the new misses must have went down on him with the way he was practically skipping around the house all day.

Thank.              

God.

But then…

Janelle.

“This bitch will be lucky if I don’t slit her throat by the end of the night,” Niki whispers to me as we watch Stevie and Daisy go into the motel room to check out the damage.

Both of our arms are crossed and we are huddled together with five of the other girls. We are all standing at the back of the parking lot by a cluster of trees, hoping to block the wind from our undernourished bodies.

Janelle is standing in front of us.

B
y herself.

I would feel bad for her, but she’s been at this about five years longer than me. She should know better.

“Tell us again, what exactly you were thinking when you did this shit, you stupid fuck,” Tina, who has been here for about a year more than me, asks.

She manages to get every ounce of venom into her voice even though it’s not more than a whisper. We don’t need to draw attention to ourselves and give Stevie something else to go off about.

“He was beating the shit out of me!” Janelle whips her head around and spits out at us.

“Keep your fucking voice down!” Sandy whisper-yells at her.

“Then you take it like the rest of us!” Niki hisses at Janelle. “We’ve all been there. Jesus Christ. You should know that better than anyone. Where the fuck did you even get the gun?”

Janelle turned partially towards us as
Niki was chewing her ass and now she turns her head to look back to the hotel where Stevie and Daisy are.

“Tell me you didn’t…” I whisper, my voice full of horror; my arms dropping to my sides.

She bites her lip and looks down at the ground. I thought I was the only one who knew about that. Aside from Daisy. I assume she knows.

I saw it one day when he had me wait in
his office for him. Sometimes he likes to role play. And his favorite scene is CEO and naughty secretary. So… I figured that since I was supposed to be ‘naughty’ I might as well get into character. I started rifling through his desk drawers and saw it in a lock box. That wasn’t locked. (Yeah, that is exactly how smart he is.) Stevie had chosen that moment to walk in, as I have the drawer open and staring down in horror at the very large gun laying there.

I rub my jaw thinking back to that day and the beating and fucking I got. He seemed to enjoy it. Of course.

Fuck.

I really hate him.

“What?” Tina asks me. “What’d she do? Where’d she get it?”

“It’s Stevie’s,” I whisper, my voice still horrified, my eyes locked on Janelle.

“Fuck.”

“You stupid bitch.”

“Fucking cunt.”

“Idiot.”

I can see Janelle getting more and more pissed as the girls keep calling her names.

“Janelle
,” I say firmly to her. Her eyes dart to mine, filled with anger and hurt. “Don’t. Don’t do anything else. Just take it. This is the life.”

“What if I’m tired of it?” she asks me, her eyes changing to sad.

“Leave,” I tell her, thinking that you really
don’t
leave this life. Not unless Stevie lets you. And he won’t.

“Easier said than done,” she echoes my thoughts.

I nod to her conceding that, just as we see Stevie and Daisy come back out and head our way. The six of us huddle closer together; our survival instincts kicking in and leaving Janelle out in the front by herself.

He walks right up to her and slaps her hard across the face. Her head completely turns with the contact. The rest of us don’t even flinch. I’m actually surprised he didn’t do worse.

“Where the fuck did you get the gun?” he growls at her, making sure to keep his voice down. He knows damn well where she got the gun. He’s just demented enough to want to make an example out of her. “Answer me!” he demands, right in her face, when she doesn’t answer.

“H,” he calls my name when she still doesn’t respond.

Fucking.

Janelle.

“Yeah?” I respond.

“Where did she get the gun?” Does he really think I would give it to her?

“Don’t know,” I answer.

“Don’t you?” he asks sarcastically.

“No,” my voice is firm.

I may have an idea and I am pretty damn sure, but she didn’t confirm it and I’m not about to rat her out.

“Yes you do, H,” Leslie, the fucking new girl, announces helpfully.

I turn towards her and glare. She retreats back next to Tina who shrugs her off. You don’t turn on each other, not when it comes to Stevie. We may not like each other, but we always defend each other to him.

“H.” Stevie pulls my attention back to him.

“I don’t
know
,” I make sure to stress the word so that I’m not technically lying.

“Les.” He turns to her, knowing she’ll answer.

Of course she fucking will. I feel the anger ripple through our group that she will betray us. She’s really going to pay for this shit. The girls in the house can be real cunts when they want to. And Leslie is about to feel their wrath.

“Harper…” she trails off, making Stevie think I gave it to her.

“Oh,
hell
no,” I butt in.