ASCENSION: THE SYSTEMIC SERIES (8 page)

“It’s dangerous
everywhere
these days,” I said.  “And we’re only planning to be there a few days,” I almost pleaded with him.

“The key word is ‘
planning
’ though,” Ray said.  “We were
planning
to live in Tennessee.  We were
planning
to live in Olsten.  Our plans, through no fault of our own, don’t always work out.  And I think that until the baby is born, we need a stable place where we can settle down for a while.  Plus, I think we’d be safer here during the birthing process.  There’s food, medical supplies, we have a safe place to stay, and I’d have work to provide for us through Gordon and his business.  He’s already said he’ll let me help run one of the new stores he’s planning to open.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled, my shoulders sagging.  “Well…it sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought.  I mean, I guess if you’re sure, then you’re sure.”

I couldn’t believe that after all we’d been through, Ray and Pam were leaving the group, but I guess I couldn’t say I blamed them either.  Ray was right.  They had the health of Pam and their unborn child to consider, and I remembered just how nerve-racking it was as a soon-to-be parent.

“Believe me, I wish we could all stay together,” Ray said.  “And maybe after the baby is born, we can join you and the others.  Pam and I owe you
so
much.  We can’t tell you how grateful we are for all that you’ve done for us.”

I held up a hand, “You have nothing to be grateful for Ray.  You’ve more than pulled your own weight in every way imaginable.  All I can say is that you’ll be missed and that I wish the best for you and Pam…and the little nipper, when he…or she, arrives,” I added.

Ray and Pam helped us finish loading up our supplies and then I broke the news to everyone else.  We all gathered around the SUVs.  There were plenty of hugs, kisses, handshakes, tears, and well wishes from both sides.  The whole process was magnified by the intermingling of Gordon’s own family.  We’d grown close to Gordon’s kin so quickly that they almost seemed like they were part of our own family – and vice versa.

I gave Gordon a hard time.  “So you’re stealing my best guy away, huh?” I grinned at him.

“I thought
I
was your best guy,” Will joked as he walked by.

“Best
non-relative
guy,” I clarified.

“Sorry,” Gordon shrugged.  “I was hopin’
all
of you would stay.  But I’ll take what I can get,” he grinned at Ray.

“Oh, thanks a lot,” Ray laughed.

“He’s a good man,” I said.  “And Pam can pull her own weight…even when she’s carrying the weight of an unborn child at the same time,” I added, smiling at the beautiful wife of my best friend.  She came and threw her arms around me, hugging me tight and kissing me on the cheek while tears streamed down her face.

“Thank you
so
much…for everything,” she said.  “I don’t know what we would have done without you.  You’ve been so wonderful, so strong through all of this.  All I can say is thank you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she kissed me over and over again on the cheek.

I laughed, nearly falling backwards under Pam’s outpouring of emotion, “Ray, I think those raging pregnancy hormones are getting the best of your girl here,” I called to my dear buddy.

“Hey, at least it’s not
me
giving you all those kisses,” he laughed, coming in and wrapping his arms around Pam and me at the same time.

“I’m gonna miss you two,” I said.  “It won’t be the same without you around.”

“Same here, punkass,” said Ray, giving me his trademark goofy grin.  “Don’t think of it as goodbye though.  I have a feeling our paths will cross again one of these days.”

“I hope so,” I said, a tear running down my own cheek.  “I sure hope so.”

“Alright,” Ray said.  “Now get the hell out of here before I start to lose it too,” he began choking up.

I could see the tears beginning to build as he turned and walked a short distance away, rubbing his eyes with a hand.

Even the tough ex-FBI army veteran was beginning to crack.  That’s when I knew it was time to go.

Gordon came in for a hug and handshake of his own once Ray and Pam were through with me.

“Thanks again for your help,” he said.  “Sorry I couldn’t get you them diabetic supplies you were lookin’ for.  Probably find that Miami’s the best place to look for those types of things.  Same with the boat and diesel fuel.  Lot more options down there.  And more options means better barterin’.”

“That’s alright.  You’ve done more than enough,” I said.  “Thank you for everything.  You be careful up here and take good care of Ray and Pam.”

“I think Ray and Pam can take care of themselves, but I’ll be sure to keep an eye on them,” Gordon nodded.  “You just worry about you.  I’ve had people come up from down south sayin’ there’s all sorts of roadblocks set up by highwaymen along I-95 and the Florida Turnpike startin’ outside Jupiter and running all the way down to Miami.  Don’t go tryin’ anything crazy.  That crowd down there can get dangerous pretty quick.”

“Duly noted,” I said.  “We’ll take it easy.  We see anything like that and we’ll just try another route.”

“Good idea,” he nodded.  “Oh and by the way…” he said as I turned to climb behind the wheel of one of the SUVs, “…you see a convoy of SUVs with two big armored vehicles and you stay away.  Stay far away.  But you do me one favor.”

“Yeah?” I said as I slid in behind the wheel.

“You see ‘em, and you track me down up here and let me know where they are.  Don’t get involved or do somethin’ stupid, you just find me and let me know…I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Will do,” I gave him a salute, pulling the front door of the SUV closed behind me and starting the engine.

CHAPTER 7

Ava poured herself a glass of wine and slid open the patio door, stepping out into Miami’s late-afternoon heat.  A gentle breeze blew across her face, tugging softly at thin strands of her silky black hair.  She closed the patio door, locking in the air-conditioned chill behind her.

After Jake and Ava were sure they controlled the majority of the city, they hosted several days of wild partying in celebration of their achievement.  The Miami beachfront was the scene of excess and debauchery the likes of which Ava – and even
Jake
– had never before seen.  Truckloads of women were hauled in.  Huge coolers full of every sort of booze imaginable were made available.  Drugs were distributed like candy being tossed from parade floats.  And the sound of celebratory – and sometimes not so celebratory – gunfire was heard round the clock, interspersed by an occasional explosion as the rowdy conquerors blew up a car with a grenade or shot a tank full of propane.

Jake and Ava themselves participated in the madness for the first day, but then they turned their attention to the duties involved in organizing and running an entire city, albeit a vastly different one from its pre-flu glory days.

The first item on their to-do list was to find a base from which they could operate.

Ava would have preferred a plush, gated, estate-like mansion nestled in a quiet neighborhood, but Jake wanted to be in the heart of the city so that he could feel its “pulse” and then act to regulate it as needed.  Ava understood that Jake was a true urban dweller, and therefore didn’t argue.  He wanted to be in amongst the slime that he plied with vice to govern his city.  Given time though, Ava was confident that she’d eventually get her quiet mansion.

They therefore decided upon a high-rise condo near downtown.  Jake liked it because he could easily control who came and went from the building through a single generator-powered elevator.  Ava liked it for the views.  From their penthouse suit on the 30
th
floor, Miami still appeared to be the city she once knew.  With the exception of the occasional out-of-control building fire or vehicle left to burn and smolder on the streets far below, she could almost imagine it as the once-vibrant city in which she had grown up, a city that she had left while still a teenager because of a man – a man named Gonzalo. 

At the time, she hadn’t realized it – as a naïve 16-year-old, she hadn’t realized much of anything – but she now understood that Gonzalo was the only man she’d ever truly loved. Being four years her senior, she admitted now that he wasn’t the best looking guy she’d ever known, nor the smartest, nor even the guy with the best personality, but there had been something between them, something that had bonded them immediately, almost instantaneously.  Even now, she still couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was.  But after not seeing him for nearly a decade, she couldn’t deny that it was there, and it was undeniable and irrepressible.  She felt it in the pit of her stomach every time she imagined she was with him again. 

She guessed that this was the way she made Jake feel – as though he could do anything, be or beat anyone, overcome anything.  That’s how Gonzalo made her feel.  With him she had experienced sensations she’d never felt with anyone else.  She felt powerful, sexual, yet feminine all at the same time.

Jake made her feel some of those things, some of the time.  But she admitted it just wasn’t the same.  Something wasn’t there.  Something was missing.  She had tried her best to forget Gonzalo, but he was always there, always lurking in the back of her mind.  Something Jake would say or do would remind her of him.  A touch or a way Jake looked at her would have her seeing Gonzalo’s face instead of his.  Even just a song or something someone said would bring visions of her love rushing back, and as hard as she tried to force them away, they always remained.  It bothered her.  Even in her dreams, when they were about a man, it was Gonzalo she was with again, not Jake.  She just couldn’t rid herself of those mental images and emotions the thought of him instantly invoked. 

At first, after Ava had left Miami, she’d thought that her love for Gonzalo had just been hard to get over.  She figured that the impression a first love left was tough to shake.  But as the years passed, and men came and went, she began to long for what Gonzalo had given her.  She’d thought it was replaceable, that she just had to find the right guy, but eventually, she realized that she was wrong.  It wasn’t the sex so much, although the sex was incredible; it was the feeling she had when she was around him.  She guessed that it was the feeling of love, although it’d been so long, she wasn’t sure about that anymore either.

Their split had been quick and painful.  It was a silly spat, a lover’s quarrel that now seemed so meaningless.  In fact, Ava couldn’t even remember what it was about. It was a breakup they’d gone through more than once – a passionate exchange in the heat of the moment – and Ava assumed it would last a few days, maybe a week, just as it had in previous breakups.  Before she knew it, they’d reconcile and be back together again and things would be fine. But Gonzalo – in a fit of angry revenge – had slept with another woman.  And soon thereafter, he’d had found out that the woman was pregnant. 

Gonzalo swore up and down to Ava that the child wasn’t his, but it hadn’t mattered.  What
had
mattered was the act itself; and so, in her own jealous act of reprisal, Ava had run away.  She ran away from a town she loved, a family she loved, and a man she loved.  And she didn’t stop running until she’d reached Chicago’s south side, a place where she could lose herself and try to forget; but it hadn’t worked.  The more she tried to adopt her new home, the more she longed for Miami, for her family, for Gonzalo.

Several years ago, she’d met an old friend from Miami while at a bar in Chicago.  After they’d spent some time catching up, the conversation had turned to reminiscing about their old neighborhood.  When the topic of Gonzalo inevitably came up, the friend had told her that he had married the woman he’d allegedly gotten pregnant, wanting to do the right thing although never fully believing that the child was his.  The union had lasted less than a year before the two split.  At the time, Ava had shrugged off the information as unimportant, but she couldn’t deny – at least to herself – that the revelation that her first love, her true love, had married someone else, stung terribly.

She now found herself wondering if it’d feel the same if she met him again after all these years and whether they’d still have that emotional connection.  Would they immediately fall into that old groove, conversing freely about anything and everything, talking and flirting playfully one minute, rolling naked on the bed together the next?  Or would it be awkward, time having eroded or obliterated completely what they once had? 

She stood outside on the penthouse balcony thinking and sipping her wine.  The Miami sun blazed down upon her, baking her already smoothly toasted skin.  The sea breeze whispered through her hair.  She closed her eyes and tried to envision Gonzalo, imagining what it might be like to meet him again. 

In her mind, she saw a car pull up and stop before her as she stood on the sidewalk.  The car door opened and a man stepped out.  He looked over at her and smiled. 

It was him.

Even just imagining such an encounter had her experiencing that nervously-excited pit in the bottom of her stomach.  As she stood, eyes closed, she felt herself push her chest almost imperceptibly forward to make her ample breasts seem even larger, just as she had done when she was young.  Her posture straightened.  Every muscle in her body became taught with sexual energy.  Her breathing slowed and became heavier.  Her mind cleared and she found herself intensely focused, but only on Gonzalo.  He walked around the car and stopped just a foot from her, close enough that she could feel that gravitational pull towards him again.  Reaching out to her with a hand, he ran his fingertips softly across her check, then moved the back of his hand down and along her jawbone just as he used to.