At His Mercy (10 page)

“I understand.” She studied his face for a moment. That adorable chin and emotion-riddled eyes. The thick wave of hair that always tumbled over his brow. For just the briefest of moments, she could see the vulnerable young man Kyler
had once been
, the one who
had set out
to prove to his father that he had finally grown up and was ready to stand on his own two feet. “That means a lot to you.”

“Yeah,” he said casually. She knew better than to buy the easygoing tone of his voice. The truth was in his eyes.

There was this long moment of silence. Finally, she broke it.
“I wish I could say I’m
sorry for what Becker did, but I hate to admit this
—
don’t take it the wrong way
—
I’m kind of grateful
.
In a very small way.
”

His eyes widened with surprise. “What do you mean?”

“If he hadn’t tried to blackmail me, would you ever have taken the chance with me?” When he opened his mouth to speak, she added, “Honestly?”

His jaw snapped shut. He stared at her for one, two, three excruciatingly long seconds. Then he shook his head. “Probably not.”

“Can I ask why not? Does that
question
make me sound as pathetic and desperate as I think it does?”

“Sure you can, and no it doesn’t. There were several reasons why, but mainly I wouldn’t because you worked for me.”

“And I don’t work for you anymore.”

“Exactly.”
His smile wasn’t exactly beaming, but at least his expression brightened slightly. “
Which brings me to the second thing I wanted to talk to you about
—
the dungeon.”

“Oh that.” She giggled nervously
, the memory of him catching her on her knees flashing through her mind
. “I’m sorry for snooping. I was
…
um, looking for my keys
so I could go home
.”

“It’s okay. I’m actually not bothered that you found ou
t. It’s not something I would
want to broadcast to the world, but I want you to know
. I
f you hadn’t discovered it on your own
, we’d be having this conversation anyway
.”

Was that significant? Did he sit every woman down on the first date and tell her he had bondage gear in his house?
“Okay.”

“Forgive me if I ask you some silly questions, but I
need to get a feel for
what you do and don’t know. Do you
understand
what that room is used for?”

“Well
…
”
S
he imagined herself bound in that swing, Kyler standing between her spread legs. Her face grew so hot, she wondered if steam might be coming off it. “I’m guessing you participate in some kind of bondage play.” She hoped he wasn’t into the scary, hardcore stuff. Needles, blood, severe pain. She couldn’t imagine him doing those kinds of things, not with what she knew of him. But she supposed anything was possible.
They’d spent very little time together.

“That’s correct. I’m a member of a very private and exclusive group. We come together once a week.”

She nodded, glanced down to toy with the corner of her napkin. This was a very uncomfortable conversation. Not so much because she was shocked or horrified, but more because she was so unsure of what exactly Kyler was getting at.

Did he want to take her to the dungeon? Do things to her in there?

A part of her thrilled at that thought. The rest of her was extremely nervous.

He captured the hand that was picking at her napkin. His palm rested on the top of her hand. His fingers twined
with
hers. “What are you thinking, Elena?”

She looked at his face, in his eyes. “
Believe me,
I’m not judging you, Kyler. Not at all.”

“But?”

“
But this thing with you has been a bizarre rollercoaster ride, from the moment you got in my car back at the restaurant.
And the bondage, submitting…
I’ll admit, I’ve been curious about domination and submission for a long time. I’ve even considered going to a play party. But it’s very new to me, and it’s going to take
a lot of trust
for me to feel comfortable
.
I guess I’m
not the kind to blindly trust someone, especially if I’ve been hurt by him before.
”

He nodded. His gaze delved deep into her eyes. “I know. I’m very sorry. I guess there’s no going back and starting over, is there? As much as I want to.”

“I want that too. But it’s a little hard to forget.”

“I understand.”
This time it was Kyler who dropped his gaze first. He stared down at their hands, hers still beneath his, his tapered fingers splayed between hers.
He rolled his wrist and fingered his watch with his other hand.
“
It’s getting late.
You have to work tomorrow.
Do you want me to take you home now?”

“No. Not at all.”

His gaze leapt to her face again, and she saw
something there
.
Something she couldn’t quite read
.
“Are you
certain
?”

She smiled. Nodded. “I-I
want to see where this is going. I’ve always been attracted to you. Since the first time I saw you at work.
There’s a connection, a strong one. I’m scared. You hurt me. I can’t tell you how much. But I can’t just walk away from you.
”

“The feelings were mutual, believe me.” He cupped her cheek and brushed his thumb over her lip. “
I’m
…
scared too.
You’re the most beaut
iful woman I’ve ever seen. I
waited a long time, watched you.
I don’t want to fuck up again. I don’t ever want to hurt you.
”
And
then he blinked, and that…whatever it was…
she’d seen in his eyes was gone, and a strength and sense of purpose that commanded her attention shone in its place.
“You are a very special woman.”

His words echoed in her head. He’d called her special, and that’s exactly how she felt. Not because he’d bought her presents or rented a room at this country club. But because he’d let down his guard for those few precious seconds.

Yes, a man
could
be powerful and dominant, and yet still be vulnerable at times. He’d just shown her it was possible.

“I…um, wow. Thank you.”
Her face was going to ignite. The air between them was so superheated, she could practically hear it crackle, like burning paper.
She just hoped he’d have the patience for her. No, she hoped it was fair asking him to be patient. Needing to change the subject, she asked,
“
Has it been a long time since you’ve been involved in a relationship
?”

“A couple of years.”

“Why so long?”

“I wasn’t ready. I was in a bad place. For a long time. If I’d let myself get involved with any woman, I would’ve hurt her.”

“So that’s why
…
” That statement answered so many questions for her.
Such as
why he seemed to be such a loner. Why the rumors about him had started. And why he’d seemed so distant and unapproachable until now.

He released her face. His eyes, however, held her there as effectively as any physical restraint would. She felt herself wanting to surrender to this man, or more specifically to the feelings she had for him. She wanted to know everything about him, his darkest secrets. She ached to belong to him. To know that he wanted her, no others.

Oh God, it had been such a long time since she’d let herself feel anything for a man. It was terrifying in one way, thrilling in another.

“I need to ask,” Kyler
said, slowly
. “
Are you
absolutely
sure you feel
the need to submit to a man? Sexu
ally
?
Are you ready
to explore this side of your
self
?
”

Kyler’s
question hadn’t shocked Elena. But that still d
idn’t keep her from feeling a
skittery unease.

Her tongue felt heavy. She couldn’t speak for at least a handful of heartbeats. “I-I’ve read a little about it
, and I’ve done a lot of thinking
. But honestly, I don’t know much at all
, so I can’t be sure I truly understand what it’s all about
. A lot of the stuff I’ve seen
o
n the internet is
either confusing or downright
intimidating.
Scary.
”

He nodded, pulling his chair
next
to hers, until they were wedged closely to each other. He leaned in, and she could literally feel the heat radiating from his body.
She felt herself drawing
nearer
, pulled into the heat.
“I think a lot of people feel that way
when they first start exploring the lifestyle
.” He studied her carefully for a moment
then rested a hand on top of hers. His fingers twined between hers
. “
Despite all the confusion, it’s worth stepping out and taking some reasonable risks.
I’ve been a Dom for a long time, and I usually can sense these things in people, especially women.”

“What do you see in me?” she whispered, her breath wedged in her throat.

He tilted his head and inched closer still, until their mouths were nearly touching. His breath warmed her lips, a gentle caress. “A natural submissive. A woman who craves complete surrender to a powerful, dominant man.
A woman who wants to trust and love her man with everything she is.
”

He was right
about that last bit for sure
.

She let her eyelids fall closed and relished the sensual tension winding through her body. He was so close, and he smelled so good, and this moment, oh God, this moment was so amazing.

Would he kiss her already?

She lifted her heavy eyelids and met his smoldering gaze. She could read so many things in those eyes of his. On the very surface she saw raw, almost savage desire. No man had ever looked at her like that before. It was positively thrilling.

And below the surface, she saw something even more compelling.
As their conversation meandered from one subject to another,
over the next two hours,
s
he saw the very beginnings of true caring. There, in those sparkles, when he talked about her. When he asked her questions about herself, her
fears
, her dreams.

This man was
looking for a long-term relationship
.

God help her, so was she.

He was looking for a woman who wished to join him in his lifestyle, a woman who would willingly surrender all control and power to him.
To love and be loved.

She wanted to be that woman.

Finally, as her fears eased and her need to answer the urgent call thrumming through her body overtook her, she asked the question she hadn’t been ready to speak
at the beginning of the evening
,
“Will you show me how
, Kyler
?
How to submit?
”

“Yes
, if that is truly what you want
.”

“It is.
I think. I mean, I want to try.
”

He kissed her then. Hard and long. His tongue swept into her mouth to dominate hers. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her into a crushing embrace. She surrendered to him, welcoming him to take everything from her, to strip her bare of every defense, to topple the walls she’d erected around her heart, to claim her body.

As their kiss continued, the tension in her body swelled, until she was hot and tight and ready. She sighed into their joined mouths, begged, “Please, Kyler.”

He broke the kiss, stood, took her hand and led her from the country club. They got into the car and he sat, pulled her toward him. His hands slid up her thighs
as she
lean
ed
forward
, taking the hem of her dress with them.
The car rolled smoothly down the driveway.

Hands on her waist, he guided her onto his lap,
facing him, legs straddling his hips
.
Her bent k
nees rested on the seat
.
The rigid bulge in his pants rubbed against her wet pussy. She rocked her hips back and forth, desperate to rub away the pounding ache between her legs.