Atomic Beauty (7 page)

There were no people, only seemingly random snaps of nature and cityscapes from around the world. Were they places he'd visited? Carried out assignments? Did they tell a story? If she stared at them long enough, would they give her any insight into the man she'd fallen for? A piece of her hoped she'd see a picture of him and yet she knew he wouldn't be that careless. She glanced at the throwaway phone she'd set next to the computer, thinking how easy it would be to reach out to him. His number had been committed to memory.

The thought of making contact sent a sensual shiver racing down her back. His lips on hers, his body on top of her pressing her into the mattress and the skill with which he'd destroyed her with an orgasm made her want to punch the numbers on the cell. If she asked him to show up, would he?

His last text message wound through her thoughts.

Her fingers trembled as she picked up the untraceable phone Charlie had bought for her. She wished she'd kept her personal one. At least she could see Jace's words.

The way her heart burned it felt as if her chest might explode if she didn't hear his voice one more time. Even though her mind hadn't completely trusted him before, her body had. She'd fallen asleep in his bed, allowed him to care for her when she was sick. Didn't that mean something?

When she really thought about it, he'd picked her up in that bar three weeks ago. He had to have known who she was all along. Before she could talk herself out of it, she punched in numbers on the cell, telling herself that she was only calling to arrange a way to get her necklace back.

He answered on the second ring.

“What's going on, Jace?”

“You ran off before we could talk.” God, his voice slid through her, warming her, making her want dangerous things. Talking to him without being able to see him formed an ache in her chest. She dug her fingernail into her palm.

“I think we both know I had no choice. Did you know about the guy at my place?”

“God, no. What happened?”

“I left him in Victoria Harbor. At the bottom of the ocean.”

“There was more than a good chance I was being followed. That's why I warned you to be careful. You weren't the only one sent to find me.” He sounded tired.

“From the agency?”

“There are others.” Erika didn't like the sound of this. Assigning more assets meant that Murdock didn't trust her to get the job done. She had another random thought…all leads seemed to bring her right back to Sanctuary.

“What did you do to get all this attention?”

“You haven't figured any of it out yet?”

“No.”

“Let's get together to talk.”

“Not a good idea.”

“Why not? I fucking miss you, Erika. You're the only person in this screwed-up world I feel like I can trust.” God help her, but she felt the same way. Her training had taught her to ignore feelings, to go with facts and informed decisions, anything else and she could make a deadly mistake. Her heart had other ideas. Just like making this phone call. And yet it felt right to talk to Jace.

“I know,” she said quietly, ignoring the cavern in her chest, the ache.

“Then agree to see me.” He suggested the only way to make things worse.

“I'd like my necklace back.”

“I'll bring it.” His voice sounded hopeful and that hurt even more.

“That's too dangerous,” she countered.

“Why? Because you have feelings for me?”

“I have a P.O. box. You can mail it. Or just send it to Sanctuary. You remember where that is, don't you?”

When Jace didn't response, she asked, “Who called you when we were at your place?”

“One of the guys whose been working on this with me. Said he had new information and wanted to meet.”

“And?”

“When I got there, he was dead. I got the hell out of there the second I discovered someone else had gotten to him first. The worst part is that I saw the guy walking out of the building as I cased it five minutes before. It just didn't click at first.”

If Berlin had been sent to spy on Jace, it made sense the man would watch her, too. But then keeping an eye on someone and trying to put a bullet through their skull were two very different things.

Jace had taken a shower before leaving. If he'd been on time, would his contact still be alive?

“What did the guy look like? Do you remember?” Of course he did. Stupid question.

“Crisp suit. Clean cut. Dark hair. Looked European. I think I've seen him before overseas. Maybe Germany. I know he has ties to an organization in the Eastern Bloc we call Exacto.”

“Berlin?” The guy could've been using a relationship with Exacto as a cover, but he was Agency.

“It very well could be.”

“That's the guy who came to my apartment.” Jace couldn't have sent Berlin. No way would he be talking about it with her if he had. “What are they looking for, Jace?”

“Me.”

“He's Agency.” Meaning he worked for Murdock.

“I know.”

“You think he's playing both sides?” She had to cover every possibility.

“It's possible. The information I uncovered is valuable to Exacto.”

“What do you have?”

“I'm not talking about it over the phone.” He got quiet. “Besides, I need to see you, Erika. Will you trust me?”

Those last two words were as foreign to her as love. When was the last time she really put her faith in anyone? Allowed someone to care about her? Murdock was the closest thing she had to family, and yet, she was as suspicious of him as she was everyone else. Then again, he'd trained her to be that way. “I don't even know you.”

“I grew up in Virginia in what was supposed to be the perfect suburban family. Dear Dad was a decorated colonel. Mom stayed at home to take care of the family. We lived in a white colonial in a neighborhood with the best schools.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It was…to an outsider.”

“What does that mean?”

“My parents took great pains to ensure they kept up appearances. Mom hid her bourbon in the laundry room. Dad liked to use her for a punching bag as a way to deal with his stress but he never touched her face. There wasn't much I could do about it when I was a kid. By the time I could handle myself with the old man she begged me not to. When I pleaded with her to let me do something about it she said she didn't want my help. I was smart enough to get good grades and the hell out of there. I got a degree in Economics from Boston College with a double minor in Arabic and Mandarin. Straight out of college I got a knock on the door and figured I'd spend my life working on the CIA's business side. I would've gone into the military but the old man ruined it for me. He stained it with his actions. No way was I following in his footsteps, even though our home ran tighter than any military barracks. Two years into my new job I got tapped by Murdock.”

“And discovered you had a darker side.”

“Yeah, something like that.” He paused. “I don't visit my parents. I was probably the only one in the agency who didn't have people show up on Family Day.”

“Given what you told me, I'm surprised. Wouldn't they want to keep up the facade?”

“I didn't invite them. I have no stomach for bullshit. Once I got out of their home I had nothing else to say to either one of them.” The bitterness in his tone was a knife to her chest. He was opening old wounds, hurting, and everything inside her wanted to reach out to him and somehow make it better. Pain was the one thing Erika could always relate to.

“Are you an only child?” She shouldn't keep talking to him because he was getting inside her head. And a traitorous part of her believed in him, wanted him there.

“I had a sister.”

“But you don't stay in touch with her?” It wasn't really a question.

“I tried at first. They told her I'd shipped out overseas and limited our contact. She was so caught up in being the perfect daughter, doing everything they expected of her, it was hard to make a real connection. Then it just became easier to slip into my dark hole and disappear. Guess that makes me an asshole.”

“Or just a human being.”

“After the things I've done, no one would accuse me of that.” There was a hint of sadness to his normally self-assured voice. It was too subtle to be fake.

Jace, his voice, was cracking through her walls. She couldn't afford to allow it. “We knew the deal when we signed on.”

“Yeah, sure. I was twenty-six years old. I knew what I wanted for dinner that day, not what signing up for this life would do to my future.”

“So you regret it?”

“Not really. I don't know who I am without this job anymore.”

“I need to know what's going on if you want me to help you, Jace.”

“Is that what you want? To come to my aid? Or are you playing with me to find out what's on the information you stole?” His tone was razor sharp, and just as cutting.

“I was trying to do my job. Don't take it personally,” she shot back, not wanting to reveal just how much it hurt. “And don't call me until you're ready to deal.”

* * *

Daylight was giving way to dusk for the second night when Erika saw a shadow hovering from the light beneath her door. Someone was out there, lurking, and she was no closer to figuring out what was on the thumb drive. Everything she tried to learn about Exacto was classified as above her pay grade.

She jumped into action, palming her SIG Sauer and a camera the size of a writing pen. Her weapon led the way, aimed chest-level at whoever was on the other side of that door. A body shot would be her best option since it didn't require as much precision.

Following the movement of the person outside, her weapon zigzagged left to right.

She glued herself to the wall, moving forward without making a sound, in case he slipped a camera—some of which were no larger than the head of a needle—under the door.

A flutter in her chest accompanied the thought it could be Jace.

She bent down and placed the pen at the side of the crook in the door, angled toward the person connected to the shadow. His shoes were three and a half feet from the door, men's work boots. She shifted the camera to scan him, staring into the wireless handheld screen in her palm.

Jace.

Her heart stuttered as her body flushed with heat. She didn't want to admit just how much she wanted to open the door and run into his arms. Except that she couldn't be sure she could trust him.

Jace paced, looking as though he was trying to decide whether or not to knock. With him this close her insides heated, softening her bones to the consistency of warm Jell-O.

She steadied herself as he crouched low.
Try to slip something lethal under the door, buddy, and see what happens.

With her left hand wrapped the around the door lever and her gun in her right, Erika was ready to spring into action.

He slid a loosely folded piece of paper under the door and then folded his arms.

There could be any number of poisonous agents on the paper. Erika toed it with the tip of her flip-flop. Or it could be a distraction before a strike. She made sure the hall was clear before retrieving gloves from her backpack and the ice tongs from the bucket on the counter.

Based on her visual scan, there didn't appear to be any substance on the white paper. Using the tongs, she gingerly picked it up and unfolded it.

I'm not armed and I'm not leaving until you talk to me.

The past two days without Jace had been the definition of misery. Erika had lied to herself and said it was the headache she'd endured but the truth was that the pain came from a place lower. She was heartsick, pure and simple. It hurt to breathe and all she could do was stay in bed, rest and try to crack the code on the computer and find information about Exacto.

Looking through the peephole, seeing him standing there in the flesh, Erika threw logic aside and opened the door. She was fresh from the shower, still dripping water and naked beneath the robe, and her thighs heated when primal hunger registered in his blue eyes.

He stalked inside, closed the door behind him and picked her up.

She wrapped her legs around his toned midsection and let him claim her mouth—she wanted to be his right then for that moment.

His tongue slicked across her teeth before delving deep inside her mouth, his intense need matching hers. She tunneled her fingers into his thick dirty-blond hair and dug her nails into his scalp. He responded with a guttural groan as his hands splayed on her ass and squeezed. Only a thin piece of denim kept her slick heat shielded from his thick erection. He turned her toward the wall until her back pressed against it. Using it as leverage to keep her right where he wanted her, he unzipped and then dropped his jeans.

Allowing him inside the room was a mistake she'd pay for later. For now, she wanted to feel his weight on top of her, his cock filling her, stretching her until nothing else mattered but the two of them and everything else melted into the abyss.

His hot, silky head found the cradle of her wet pussy and he entered her with his tip.

“Oh, God, angel. You're going to destroy me,” he said against her lips.

She'd missed everything about him. The minty taste of his toothpaste mixed with the strong taste of coffee when he kissed her. His spicy masculine scent. She could still smell the ocean in his hair.

Erika struggled to gain purchase on his shoulders, her fingers digging into his skin as she rocked her hips. One deep thrust and he was inside her. Her body stretched around him, adjusting to his size and everything in her crazy world seemed right.

She drove her tongue in his mouth as he slammed her against the wall, thrust after thrust. A thousand tiny explosions rocked her brain with pleasure as an intense pressure built from low inside her, begging for release.