Atonement (4 page)

I loved and trusted Tate with my all; however, it was Lisa and the other tramps I knew I would have a hard time with.

he months flew by. Tate and I saw each other as much as possible, although as much as possible wasn’t nearly enough. He was always practicing, and I was always studying. My major had finally been decided. I wanted to be an anesthesiologist. I knew I loved medicine, but this was a major that would be very lucrative as well, just many more years of college. I could do it though; I was sure….right, wasn’t I? After all, Wake Forest had a great program in that area of medicine. Although, once I had gotten into it by second semester, I realized I would have to move away for a year of residency. However, I could do a large portion of my main residency at Wake Forest Baptist Hospital if I got accepted into that program.

Tate had single handedly (along with his sidekick, Finn) kicked ass during all of their scrimmages. He truly was amazing at baseball. He had a skill most players could only dream of. I was so proud!

We had managed to make it through the first half of our first year of college. I found a way to avoid most parties (I loved Tate too much to worry the whole time I was there). I also had ignored every single guy thus far who had volunteered to walk me to my classes, or to call me later (even though I never once
had given them my number to call). There were a lot of cute, smart guys at Wake, but not one held a candle to my Tate. The only other person that ever even remotely made my heart flutter just a little, (okay, a lot), was John. He was my quick innocent fling at Emerald Isle beach. I‘d been broken up with Tate for a few short weeks when I met John. He was my beach god. My gorgeous, dark haired, blue-eyed, sculpted muscles, RICH beach god. He had quickly taken to me, a serious problem, since I had gotten back with Tate only a day later. John however had taken a while to give up on the fact that I could never be with him because I was in love with Tate.

Luckily, I hadn’t heard from him, not once since coming to Wake Forest in August. It was now March. I missed his presence, but I was thankful he had moved on…I think. What was I thinking, of course I was thankful. I loved Tate and Tate alone. Right?! Actually, if I were honest, I would have to say a tiny sliver of my heart went to John, and the fact that he was completely smitten (Chloe’s word) with me. But for the sake of good intentions, I hadn’t heard from him in a few months now. The threat that he would pop up at any time was…a little scary (and exhilarating, all at the same time). After all, he only lived about an hour away in downtown Charlotte. His father kept him extremely busy, thankfully, with his oil empire…Rider Industries.

Tate had had a nice break over the holidays from baseball. But practice had started back with a bang. Their games were now in full swing. It had been freeing to be able to spend SO much time with my man. We even went home together at
Christmas. I was able to spend time at my parents and at Tate’s parents. We are blessed to have both sets in the same town…makes things much easier. The best part was seeing Maura and Chloe again. We hadn’t been separated that long…ever. So, we made plans to have a girl’s week during Spring break in April. Elle’s dad had given us four round trip tickets to anywhere!! It was some perk he had with his current job, free plane tickets. We decided to use them when we would all be out of school during spring break. And we might as well use them for the longest distance we could think of…California. That would be a cross country trip for us, but La Jolla was calling our name. I couldn’t wait!

Now we were back to new classes, and a busy schedule. And for some reason, Tate wasn’t only having to attend practices, and games (home and away), he was also having to spend even more time with the coaches. They must have been making him
more
perfect I guess? It was becoming hard to find time to see each other at all.

We managed to squeeze in some time though, and much like now, it was at the coffee shop in-between our dorms (since they were a good ways apart).

Tate had just bought me my favorite drink, Grande, nonfat, one pump of white mocha latte with light whip. Mmmm, now this was wonderful.

“I’m sorry we only have about 30 minutes Reese,” said Tate. “I can’t believe Coach Dryers wants me there at 6:30 again tonight for individuals. He says of course, practice makes perfect.”

“Tate, you already are perfect. How much better could you possibly get? I mean the season is in full swing, you get
plenty of practice,” I said. I was frustrated. I knew how good he was. This is college ball, not the pros. He had studies to worry about. Then a thought hit me…

“Tate, why are they treating you like you’re in the pros?” Maybe I was wrong, but I suddenly had a strange feeling.

Tate didn’t say anything for a minute. “Well, I guess they think, I mean, they know that I will be looked at for early advancement to the pros, so…”

“Well, sure, but not this soon. You’ve got at least a couple of years to become even stronger, playing here for Wake Forest.” I thought why
were
they trying to work him to death now?

“Um, well, they kind of have a reason to push me hard now Reese.” Tate turned away from me and looked at the floor.

“What, I mean why do you say that Tate, they’re barely letting you breathe?” I was now very confused.

“Any time a college gets one of their players to the pros, it looks good for them as a school, that they can attain that talent to begin with.” Tate said. He was talking in circles.

“Sure, I get that (I guess), but like I said, you’ve got time. They’re going to kill you. You’re only a freshman, in the middle of your first season here. So why now?” I asked, my face scrunched up looking at Tate. I missed him, this was the real reason for my questions. They were keeping him away from me.

“Well, because I, um, have two professional scouts coming to watch me hit in a couple of weeks.” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

I stared at him in shock. This was crazy, he was SO young,
and
he hadn’t shared any of this with me before now.

“What? I don’t understand. When did you find this out?” I asked.

Tate was silent, still not looking at me.

“Tate, what is going on here? I don’t get it? Why are you being so vague, what are you not telling me?” I was starting to get worried. It wasn’t like Tate to keep things from me. And, this was HUGE. I mean the professionals?

This time Tate turned to look at me. Our knees touching, his eyes on mine he said “Reese, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how I felt about it yet. I mean, I think it’s early too, I haven’t even really gotten to experience college, much less be here on campus with you.” He looked down then, “and I was sure it wouldn’t happen anyway, and we would just get all excited and upset about nothing.”

“Tate, you’re supposed to share everything with me.” I reached up and put my hand on his face. My eyes were pleading with him. “We need to work through these life changes together. I want to be here for you. This is so BIG Tate, the pros. I understand you don’t want to build it up too much in case it doesn’t happen now, but Tate, it WILL happen. You’re that good. I wouldn’t mind a little more time with you first though, here, at school.” I was getting a little emotional thinking how our lives would change even more if we weren’t in the same town. I dropped my hands back down to my lap.

He shook his head, now staring at the table.

I let out a long sigh trying to ease the tension between us. “So when did you find out Tate? How long have you known they were coming to see you hit?” I asked.

“Um, a little while.” He whispered. I looked at him like he knew he better elaborate. “Right before Christmas,” he said nervously and looking away.

Now I was really upset. He had known for over three months, and I was just finding out.

“You mean…” the light bulb went off. “Now I know why your dad was talking to me so much about our schedules, and how I might need to be careful how I kept you away from focusing on baseball. I blew his comments off, but he was making sure I didn’t screw this up for you. I can’t believe you kept this from me Tate.” I was hurt, truly hurt. “Ahhh! What else have you kept from me? I thought we were both wide open with each other.”

Tate was quiet. Then he turned to me and grabbing my hands he said “Reese, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now. I was worried how you would react. I don’t want to have secrets from you. I, um, I have to tell you how this came about. Please, don’t be upset with me. I’m not sure why in the end I kept it from you, except I knew you would have so many concerns. I was trying to keep us happy, together.” Oh, those eyes. Those gorgeous eyes were chasing mine all over this sudden chaos in front of us.

“They saw your scrimmages last year, is that how?” I asked. I knew he had drawn a crowd even back then. “Or have they been watching you since high school?”

“Well yeah, sort of, but not really until they were
asked
to come watch me hit.” He said.

Looking sheepishly at me again, like I was going to hit him or something, he said “I don’t want to…not anymore, I don’t want to hide anything from you Reese…it was Samuel Ash who asked them to see me.”

I know I had a very confused look on my face. I mouthed ‘Samuel Ash’ trying to think who in the heck that was, then it dawned on me. My eyes got big, staring at Tate, I said “Lauren’s
dad…
YOUR EX,
Lauren’s dad. What in the hell Tate? Why would
he
ask them to watch you play?”

“Because…because he has part-ownership in two professional baseball teams, and because…

“Lauren asked him to…” I finished his sentence for him. Oh! Lauren was still not giving up on Tate. It was all coming back to me. The conversation I overheard at the pool last summer, and the gossip Chloe was giving me about Lauren still wanting Tate.

I let out a long, deep breath. My heart was being squeezed too tight. There had been months of betrayal and crap happening behind my back. Is this what a heart attack felt like? I was completely stunned at first. Then my anger flared. My thoughts were running together.

“I. Can’t. Believe. Her….Or. You!” I shoved his chest. “Now I am officially pissed Tate Justice. Even more of a reason for you to tell me. What were you thinking? Why didn’t you tell her NO? Surely another team would come along…do you not think anymore of me than that?”

Tate cut me off , “I did tell her no, I mean…”

“Wait, you’ve been talking with her. I was kidding Tate. I didn’t realize you’ve been actually
talking
with Lauren.” I wasn’t sure, but I think steam was coming out of my ears. I know if he looked close, he would see my heart breaking, bleeding for what I thought we had just ten minutes ago.

“Calm down Reese, I..um…”

“Save it Tate,” I was crying now, but I would be damned if I would let him see me. I got up quickly and walked out to my car. My vision was blurred from the hurt and anger I was feeling. Of course Tate followed.

“Reese wait, let’s talk this out. You’re overreacting!” I whipped my head around to him.

“Don’t you dare, Tate. I’m not the jealous freak in this relationship. This is different, and on so many levels too. Lauren was your ex.” I walked up to him putting my finger in his chest. “You two,” my breath caught and I spoke next through clenched teeth, “have a history together…you slept with her while y’all were dating,” now I was crying harder. “There is no way in hell I shouldn’t be furious that you’ve been talking with her and not telling me. How many times Tate? Have you seen her too?” The expression on his face told it all. “You have…” I whispered, “you’ve not only been talking with her, but you’ve seen her too!” Everything seemed clear suddenly. He hadn’t encouraged anything sexual in a few months, maybe because he didn’t feel the urge too. Was he getting his fulfillment with Lauren? I had thought it was just him being so busy with baseball. I turned back around this time determined to spin tires out of there. I got in my car and slammed the door. Tate was holding on to the handle, but I locked the door. He got super close to my window, and was all but screaming in it.