Avenged (The Altered Series) (14 page)

But while he expected perfection from himself, he accepted imperfection from others. She’d thought that if Nick knew her, if he
really
knew her, he’d run screaming for the hills. He had a family full of love. He mastered anything he decided to do. More, he cared about people openly, without fear. How could a guy like that understand a girl like her?

She’d never fit in. She was awkward, introverted. She’d had a strange upbringing and a strange new power… Just an all-around strange girl.

She’d misjudged him. Maybe it was because of how he’d been raised, with that support around him, that Nick didn’t care what anyone else thought. He’d taken one look at her, and he’d decided he liked her. It mattered to him what happened to her and that had been the end of it.

She’d tried to shut him down, that first time in San Antonio, but he’d still come for her. He’d warned her against Jeremy, but she hadn’t listened. If she knew him, he’d probably blamed himself for her not listening to him. He’d come because he couldn’t leave her there, alone.

The others who’d come… She’d heard Kenny’s thoughts. He’d been committed to the mission, to taking down Fields. To stopping the distribution of Solvimine. They wanted to extract her, but it hadn’t been their primary objective.

Not, Nick… For Nick, it had always been about her.

This girl…I’d be lost without her.

Unable to take any more, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him close. Laying her ear on his back, she listened to his heartbeat and smiled against his shirt.

So, this is what it felt like. Those times he’d stood, touching her without saying anything, to comfort her? It felt as good to ease him.

He remained rigid in her embrace, as if he didn’t know if he should accept her support.

As if he believed he didn’t deserve it.

Luckily, his desire to hold her won out, and he turned, pulling her into his arms. She softened against him. He rubbed his cheek against her hair, exhaling an unsteady breath.

“You were wonderful,” she whispered against his chest. “You are wonderful.”

“No…” She could feel him shaking his head, shaking off her words.

Scowling, she pulled his face down, touching their foreheads. “You don’t get the only say.” Their eyes met and his fingers flexed into her shirt, holding on as if he never wanted to let go. “And I say you were wonderful. We made it out. Together.”

“We made it.”
We made it. She’s here. We’re out.
He shuddered, and his litany was full of gratitude and relief.

She nodded. “Yes. And you won’t lose me. We’re in this together.”

As the words left her mouth, she knew they were true. Truer than anything she’d ever said. Nick Degrassi had filled her, made her feel again when she’d believed she was broken.

She would keep that—his faith in her—always.

He tugged her to him, crushing her against his chest, as if he couldn’t get her close enough.

She ran her hands along the muscles of his back, much more accessible in the plain gray T-shirt he’d worn under his jacket. She only aimed to reassure him, but when he dropped his head to her neck and placed his lips in the crook, her hands stilled. She sucked in a shaky breath, the feel of his warm breath against the sensitive skin sending a shiver along her neck, down her back, and into her belly.

I need to feel her
. Desperation laced his desire, and she understood it perfectly.

She needed to touch him, too, to know that he was, in fact, in front of her, and they were free.

She stood on tiptoe, stretching to him, pulling at his shirt. In response, he dragged his mouth up her neck to capture her lips.

From that first touch of his mouth, she was lost. He nipped at her bottom lip, and she followed his lead, trapping his upper lip between her teeth, running her tongue along it. He growled, taking her mouth more fully. Each touch pushed her higher, made her more fevered for him.

So good. So damn good
. His hands moved to the bottom of her sweatshirt.
Too many clothes
.

She couldn’t agree more. She leaned back long enough for him to slide it over her head, and then she immediately pulled at the hem of his T-shirt, yanking at it, unable to remove the barriers between them fast enough.

Her fingers dropped to his waist, tugging at the button there. She’d never tried to undo a jeans button from the front, so she fumbled. The shaking of her fingers wasn’t helping, either.

Gently, he pushed her hands aside and undid the fastening with a flick. A quick wiggle and his pants dropped to the ground. A jerk at her waistband and her leggings joined his jeans in the pool of clothing at their feet.

When their mouths met again, the warmth of his skin, touching her from head to toe, made her knees weaken and her stomach feel like fireworks were exploding inside. She swayed, gripping his shoulders with her fingers to hold herself up.

Whoa, baby. I’ve got you
. He swept her into his arms as if she weighed nothing, and he carried her to the bed. He nudged the comforter down with his knee and followed her onto the sheets, never breaking contact with her mouth.

His hand cupped her breast, and she came off the bed with a cry, her fingers digging into the sheets beside her.

Slow down. Slow down
. He recited the words like a vow. He took a deep breath, shifting back, forcing his fingers to soften on her skin.
Too fast
.
She’s new to this, a virgin. Gentle. Slow.

“No, Nick. Please.” She reached for him, pulling at him, needing to feel more of him against her. After the fear and anxiety of getting out of the compound, she didn’t want to play it safe anymore. She wanted to feel alive, whole. She leaned up, trying to get closer. She didn’t know what she wanted, but she knew that whatever it was, Nick would give it to her.

“Hush, love.” He brushed his knuckle along her cheek then ran his thumb along her bottom lip, purposely slowing their pace. Her eyes drifted closed, savoring the intensity of the feelings. But as he dropped his head to skim kisses along her collarbone, she forced herself to open them again. She didn’t want to miss what he was doing. He continued his path, down her sternum to kiss her ribs, before he covered first her left breast, then her right, with the softest kisses imaginable.

In the wake of his kisses, her skin felt alive, tingling, and an ache had begun in her chest, another in her stomach.

No matter how she urged, he refused to hurry. She might have been frustrated if she thought he was teasing her. But she didn’t feel as if that was his intention. Instead, he was focused, determined not to miss an inch of her.

Nick was a perfectionist, after all.

When he kissed her hip, she sucked in another breath. She wasn’t even certain how she was still conscious. It didn’t feel as if she had enough air in her body. But there could be less pleasant ways to go, if this was going to be the end of her.

His hands trailed up her inner thighs, and as he settled between them, she felt his warm breath on her.

My God. She’s perfect in every way
. His finger trailed along her hip. She whimpered. But when he dropped his head farther, his mouth falling on the most sensitive part of her, her hips lifted off the bed, and she cried out.

I’ve never seen anything as beautiful in my whole life.

His thought humbled her, brought tears to her eyes, as his mouth sent waves of fire slicing through her body. What he was doing with his tongue, his lips…it was luscious and dark and joyful at the same time.

He lifted his head long enough to slip a finger inside her, and she cried out his name.

My name sounds amazing on her lips
.

The soft and steady movements of his fingers caught her breath. He dropped his head, returning his tongue to where everything about her converged. As he continued, her hips caught his rhythm, as if they knew exactly where this was going.

Her mind skipped, from the things his fingers were doing, to what his tongue was doing…to her breathing, or lack of it, and to the coiling in her stomach, the end she knew would be coming.

Perfect. Nothing has ever been as sexy as Kitty with my fingers inside her.

His thought, so primal and possessive, was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard. Then, he curved his fingers up the slightest bit and her body sang. She came apart in his arms.

He kept his rhythm as she drifted back to him, then he gathered her against him.

In the aftermath, she groggily realized he was still breathing fast, his body tense.

“You…” She sighed. “Your turn.” She made the offer with more bravado than she felt. She’d never even kissed someone before Nick, so returning favors wasn’t in her repertoire. But it was Nick. She’d do the best she could.

“Sleep, baby. Sleep
.” Slow. A virgin. There will be other times
.

“Nick…” She planned to argue. Yes, she was a virgin, but she wanted him. When she opened her mouth, though, he kissed her.

“We have time.”
Sleep. I’ll watch over you.

Of course he would. It was Nick.

Besides, her eyelids were heavy. A short nap, that’s what she needed. Tucked in the crook of his arm, his hard body behind her, she allowed herself to relax, truly relax, for maybe the first time in months.

As her eyes closed and she drifted, floating, his thought laced its way through her mind. It was a whisper. Half asleep, she wasn’t sure if it was real or if she wanted it to be real.

I am yours…

Chapter Fifteen

Kitty stirred against him fifteen minutes later. She stretched, and damned if the movement didn’t awaken every bit of longing he’d been trying to tamp down since watching her break apart in his arms.

Her eyes opened, those icy blue eyes, and he smiled into her sleepy face. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.” She shifted away to see him better. Then she seemed to notice that she wasn’t wearing any clothing. A pretty flush stained her cheeks, and she reached for the sheet. “Um… Well…”

He snagged her hand, bringing it to his lips. “Stop.” He kissed it and shifted away. He wanted to give her privacy. But secretly, having her close, with no clothes on, made him want to put his hands on her again. They didn’t have time for that. Martins would be here in an hour and he wanted them to be ready.

Throwing his legs over the bed, he propped his elbows on his knees and ran his hands over his hair. Still painfully aroused, he stared at the shabby commercial carpeting and gave himself a good old-fashioned pep talk.
Get it together, Degrassi. Some self-control.

He sucked in a few steadying breaths, trying not to think about her behind him.

Naked.

He squeezed his eyes shut. The image of her writhing under him was burned there at the back of his eyelids. He did his best to keep his voice light. “Why don’t you grab a quick shower?”

Visions of her assailed him. Kitty, standing under the spray, her long hair wet down her back, her lithe limbs and smooth belly… He gritted his teeth.
Goddamn it. Pull it together
.

He waited for her to move, to get up, to retreat and leave him to his wanting.

But her soft hand curved over his shoulder…and then she was full against his back, her breasts pressed against him, her arms around his neck.

He sucked in a breath and leaned his head back, his eyes still closed. God, yeah. The play of her fingers along his chest was both bliss and pain. “God, babe. You have to stop.”

“No.” She stepped around to stand in front of him and shook her head. “I want you to come with me.”

He glanced up at her, all long legs and small, soft curves. A grin tugged at his lips. “Anywhere, babe. But we better not go far, dressed like this.”

“We’ll shower. Together. You and me.” She tugged at his hand. “Come with me.”

Unable to deny her anything, he followed her into the bathroom. His gaze kept falling on the curve of her ass.

She turned on the water, waving her fingers under the spray to check the temperature. When it passed her inspection, she flipped the switch and the shower turned on. Stepping in, she turned and reached for him.

He followed her like a thirsty man to, well, water.

When they faced each other, the shower raining on them, their eyes met. Though she’d guided him here, her gaze held uncertainty.

Times like this, she melted him.

His heart tightening in his chest, he ran his hands up and down her gooseflesh-covered arms. “I assume you needed help?” he offered lightly, not wanting to spook her. Letting her know that he’d do as little or as much as she wanted.

She had to know that he would never ask any more from her than she was willing to give.

That he had fallen in love with her.

Her eyes flared, but he didn’t say any more. He refused to call the thought back.

Instead, standing there together, naked, in a crummy hotel’s bathroom, he reached for her, and she came into his arms. They stood under the warm spray together, her cheek on his shoulder and his chin on her head.

He could have stayed like that forever, but they didn’t have much time. Pulling back, he reached for the trial size container of shampoo.

“Turn around,” he instructed, his voice huskier than usual. “Let me do your hair.” He squirted the soap into his hands, and she did as he asked. He lathered her long hair, thankful to be out of the full force of her gaze. Without her eyes on him, he admired her as he rubbed the soap along the length of her hair, and then massaged her scalp until her head fell back and her neck loosened. He took the bar of soap and rubbed it along her back, her arms, down the curves of her backside and legs. He wrapped his arms around her, to wash her front. Then, gently, he guided her under the water, helped to rinse the suds from her.

When she turned, the color was high on her cheeks, and her eyes were heavy with desire.

She was perfect.

“Now, you.” She took the shampoo from him, and he ducked his head to allow her better access.

As her fingers played through his hair, he closed his eyes. God, he loved how she touched him. Straightforward, but not forceful. The slightest bit shy. Like her.

She stepped backward, guiding him into the water and helping him rinse the shampoo out. Then, with her eyes shiny on his, she dropped to her knees in front of him.

“Kitty?” His voice was deep, rough, and full of gravel. Then he closed his eyes. His head dropped back on his shoulders, and he steadied himself with his hands, one under the showerhead and the other on the wall to his right.

She was a novice, but his girl figured out what she was doing fast. So fast that in only a minute or so, he was warning her.

“You have to stop. Kitty, God. Fuck. I’m not going to be able to hold out…” He tried to pull away, but she pressed her fingers into the cheeks of his ass, pulling him closer, and he couldn’t hold on any longer.

He cried her name as he went over the edge with her, shaking.

When it was over and she gazed up at him, her eyes bright, he could barely speak around the words in his heart. He wanted to tell her, that he loved her, that he wanted to never be away from her. That he would do whatever he needed to do to keep her safe.

But he was tongue-tied.

When she glanced away, he wondered if she didn’t hear anyway.

“I’ll let you finish up,” she said softly, and stepped out onto a towel.

He stared after her, the shower infinitely larger and lonelier with her gone. But, he let her go.

Lathering up, he tried not to worry.

She needed time. He knew that. He’d always known that he was the one who would fall faster, harder. It was who he was.

She must feel something for him. After what they’d done…after what she’d done for him. It was unselfish, what had happened between them. She had to feel something.

She only needed more time. That was all.

…

Less than an hour later, they were standing in the parking lot, next to the stolen Hummer, waiting for their extraction.

The night was cool. Nick had told her it was November, and in the dark of near midnight, it felt like it.

When she’d been taken in San Antonio, it had been the heat of the summer. She’d changed so much that it felt like an entire life had gone by. In truth, she had missed only a change of seasons. It reminded her how much could happen in only a few months.

Kitty sat on the curb, her arms wrapped around her knees. Nick leaned against the Hummer. His pose suggested he was relaxed but the tightness in his shoulders told the real story.

Any minute. We’ll be out of here soon
. They’d left the hotel room five minutes early, to make certain they were ready to go when the helicopter arrived. But he didn’t like being so exposed.

Scanning the parking lot again, he searched for anything out of place. Finding nothing, his gaze fell on her, but he quickly glanced away, even as anxiety laced his thoughts.
Patience
.

He’d been worrying since he got out of the shower. It had been too fast, too intense. He worried that he’d scared her. That she’d heard him and knew how he felt.

He was right. She had heard him. She just didn’t know what to do about it.

He loved her. Staring up at the gorgeous man in front of her, she still couldn’t get over that. She’d seen, in his memories and thoughts, how Nick loved. It was a humbling gift he gave her.

In the past few weeks, this man she’d believed bossy and arrogant had taught her so much. He made her feel like she could do anything. He believed in her. When he looked at her, he saw someone strong and beautiful and capable… A fighter.

That girl? She could see why he loved her. But she didn’t know if that
was
her. She didn’t trust his view. It had been a long time since she trusted herself.

What would happen if he found out she wasn’t that girl? What if
she
found out?

The beat of helicopter propellers called in the distance, and she stood, dusting off her leggings. They were coming. The Army. To get them.

This was it. They’d turn everything they knew over to the military. Fields, Ahmed, Goldstone…all of it.

They’d turn her over to the Army.

As the noise of the aircraft increased, she folded her arms around herself.

Nick had explained that Martins wanted to help, that he was as devoted to halting the spread of Solvimine as they were.

They would poke and prod. More testing, more study. More why-are-you-different. It wouldn’t be as bad as Fields. She was sure of that now. Nothing could be that bad.

Nick insisted it would be okay. She didn’t believe in Martins, but she did believe in Nick. If Nick said it would be different, that no one would hurt her, then that’s how it would be.

Of course this would be different. Nick would be there.

As the helicopter lowered, Nick clasped her hand, the grip almost painfully tight, and they tore across the field to greet it. The wind from the aircraft whipped her hair against her cheeks in the cold air. There were men hanging from the sides of the chopper, armed with assault rifles. They had the same no-nonsense look that Nick possessed—watchful, protective, and dangerous.

These men were her ticket away. Maybe these people would even help her find a cure for this “gift” of hers.

They were right there, in front of her.

Kitty wasn’t sure what made her look back. When she did, she saw them. Two black sedans sped around the hotel, barely decelerating as they turned the corner. Her stomach dropped, filling her with resignation.

She instantly knew three things.

One, these weren’t Fields’s men. The cars, the drivers—they belonged to “Mr. Ahmed.”

Two, Ahmed’s men were much different than Fields’s men. These men were not working for money, and they didn’t care if they died.

They were much more dangerous.

Three, and most importantly, she would leave this overgrown field with them. She would abandon Nick here, behind a crummy hotel filled with the memories of how much he cared for her.

With her escape in front of her, what had been bothering her about this entire situation became crystal clear.

Fields planned to turn over the drug tomorrow, and then he would disappear. It was already midnight. The Army would not be able to stop him in time.

Fields was changed, after all. He was a mover, too. She’d known him long enough to know that he was not to be underestimated.

Nick said that would be okay, too. But she didn’t know how.

What she knew was that if he loved her, he would do whatever it took to keep her safe, even convince himself that Fields wasn’t his problem. Even decide that he didn’t care about Fields as much as he cared about keeping her out of harm’s way.

Maybe the girl she’d been three months ago would have been fine with that, to let everyone else fix the problem. She would have been docile, done what it took to make him happy and be safe. She wasn’t that girl anymore.

Slowing, she tugged back her hand, slipping it from Nick’s hold, even as her heart broke for what she was about to do to him. When he turned, his face questioning, she came to a halt.

He stopped as well. His eyes cast between her and the landing helicopter only yards away. “What are you doing?”

She shook her head. She didn’t know how to explain.

If the Army didn’t get to Ahmed in time, there was no telling where this drug would go. The drug shouldn’t have been made. It shouldn’t leave the country. If it became widely available, more people would lose their loved ones. More people would die, either from the drug itself or at the hands of superhuman soldiers or mercenaries. Maybe he was fine with letting the Army deal with it. But she wasn’t.

She wanted to be the girl he saw when he looked at her. The strong one, the smart one. The one who was capable, a fighter.

The girl Nick loved.

That girl wouldn’t run away when she could do something to stop a terrorist organization. That girl wouldn’t let people die, even if it meant hurting someone she loved in the process.

Faced with Ahmed’s men, she knew what she needed to do.

“We have to stop Ahmed,” she yelled, over the deafening roar of the helicopter. “I can stop him.”
We have to stop Ahmed
, she thought to him, in case he couldn’t hear her.

Apprehension colored his thoughts. He pulled on her arm, desperate.
I don’t care about them. I don’t want her anywhere near this.

“You don’t think they can stop Fields and Ahmed, either,” she shouted. He was keeping his doubts to himself, shielding her. Or he might not even want to admit it to himself.

“Kit, come on.” He tugged her forward. She shook her head again, more adamant, leaning back. Away from Nick.

He’d done this before, keeping things from her. This time, though, she refused to shrink away.

“No. I need to stop Ahmed.” The Army might not be able to do this, but she could. They would trank her, but if Ahmed wanted her power, she’d be awake some of the time. When she was, she’d make them regret thinking she was something to be used. A pawn in a game.

Four months ago, she’d been passive, easily manipulated. Four months ago, she didn’t fight back, didn’t stand up for herself or people she loved.

Everything had changed. Nick had changed her. He’d made her see that she was more than she’d thought. Today, she was going to prove him right.

“Come for me,” she yelled at him. “Come for me.”

She kissed his cheek and turned to run from him. As she tore off across the field, she threw her thoughts at him.
Go now, go now. Go
.

Nick wouldn’t leave her unless she forced him. But he had to go. He needed to tell the Army what they’d learned, about Fields, about Ahmed, about where they could find her.