Avenger's Heat (23 page)

Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressing her breasts and the side of her face against his back. He shuddered under her touch. Immediately his hands covered hers, strong and reassuring.

“I thought I'd lost you when you wouldn't turn back to your human form.” His quietly spoken words surprised her.

For a little while, she thought she'd lost herself. “I'm glad you didn't.”

“Me too.” She knew the guttural words came from a place deep inside him. He was practically shaking as he spoke them.

Okay, now or never. “I need to talk to you, Noah. It's important.” The most important thing she'd ever tell him.

His fingers tightened over hers at her words. In an instant, he turned and looked down at her. Rivulets of water ran down his face and chest, creating little rivers over all that gorgeous expanse of skin. “No talking.”

Then his mouth was on hers. Hungry and needy. Grabbing her hips, he hoisted her up against the wall. The tile chilled her back, but did nothing to douse her own hunger. Her legs were wrapped around his waist and if she slipped down just a bit farther he'd be inside her. Her inner walls clenched greedily at the thought.

Just as his tongue started to part her lips, he pulled back. His breathing was ragged as he stared at her. He swallowed once, convulsively, as if he needed a moment. She totally understood.

“Condoms,” he gasped out.

“We don't need 'em.” She went to kiss him again, but he pulled his head back.

His chest rose and fell in rapid breaths. “Heat . . . you're close, don't want to chance it.”

Just like that his words doused most of her desire. Her fingers loosened on his shoulders and she let her legs go lax. But he wouldn't let her go. He'd said he didn't want to talk so she'd thought she could have him just once before he rejected her. Before he tried to let her down easy with words that he'd
try
to make soothing, but would cut her to shreds just the same.

He pinned her to the wall harder. “What did I say? I didn't mean I don't want kids with you. You just started your new job and it would be fucked up of me to . . . fuck, don't look at me like that, baby.”

To her horror, Erin started crying. Like seriously, big fat tears rolling down her cheeks as sobs racked her body. Oh my God, she wanted to die. She buried her face against his chest because she couldn't look at him. She was too embarrassed by the spectacle she was making, blubbering all over him. She was just making things a thousand times worse but she couldn't stop.

Noah pulled her tight to him, pulling her away from the wall and hugging her close. Water rushed around them, but he didn't move. He just held her and murmured soothing sounds as he stroked a gentle hand down her spine.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed. It felt like forever but eventually her tears dried up, though she was pretty sure she'd start crying again once she told Noah what she needed to. She tilted her head to the side so that she could breathe better and talk without sounding like a garbled mess. “I'm sorry,” she murmured, her throat raw.

“You don't have anything to be sorry for.” He finally moved then, taking a seat on the built-in bench.

She spread her legs wider but didn't change position as she remained straddling him. Instead of looking at his face, she rested her chin on his shoulder. If she wanted to get the words out, it was now or never. “I can't have kids. Ever. I might have survived but the damage I sustained was too severe. My ovaries . . . well, the details don't matter.” She sniffled once, dragging in a ragged breath.

His hand never stopped stroking down her back. Combined with the rhythmic beating of the water against the tile floor, she found herself being soothed despite her internal warfare. When he didn't say anything, she sat back and looked at him.

He stared at her with soft, dark eyes.

“Aren't you going to say anything?” she snapped, hating that her voice came out harsher than she'd intended.

His eyes widened, then softened. “I'm sorry. I didn't know if you were finished. I'm so damn sorry you can't have kids, sweetheart. It kills me what that bastard took from you.”

She frowned, watching him carefully, waiting to see the pity in his gaze before he slammed her with his rejection. “And?”

Now it was his turn to look confused. “And, what?”

She sputtered for a moment, trying to formulate words. “Don't you care?”

“Of course I care! I care about what was done to you, taken from you. I want to kill that bastard all over again.” He let out a menacing growl but not once did he loosen his grip on her.

Erin slapped a fist down on his chest. Not hard, but enough to make a point. “What's wrong with you? I can't have cubs. Ever. Don't you want to tell me something, like how you don't want me as your mate now? I'll never be able to give you what you want. There's not even a one percent chance, Noah. I physically can't!”

He blinked at her, then let out a sharp bark of laughter. Actually laughed as he shook his head. “You're so fucking arrogant, woman.”

“Excuse me?” She struggled against him, but he just tightened his hold, his cock pressing harder against her stomach where it was caught between them.

“I want to make sure I get this straight before I fuck you senseless.” She gasped at his words, but he barreled right on as if she hadn't made a sound. “You thought because you couldn't have cubs that I'd what, not want to be with you? And you decided that since I must be so desperate to continue my line that I'd all of a sudden decide that I don't want to mate with you? Like I'm
that
pathetic.” He shook his head, his eyes glittering with anger and passion. “I love you, Erin. I love your physical and emotional strength, your fucking
arrogance
, and yeah, I love your hot body. I don't care about kids. They're great and I love the cubs running around the ranch as if they were my own, but I don't care about having my own. I never have. And even if I did, it
still
wouldn't make a difference in how I feel about you. If you want to adopt, fine. I'm on board with it. All I care about is your happiness. Every second we spend together I love you more. The fact that you actually think I'd turn my back on you because of something so small, hurts.”

She sat there, stunned and feeling guilty as she stared at his dejected expression. “But . . . you deserve to be with someone sweet, soft, like Esperanze. You deserve a family.”

“First, I adore Esperanze and so does her
mate
.”

“I didn't mean her specifically, I meant someone
like
her. A nice, sweet beta,” she snapped.

He continued as if she hadn't spoken. “Second, while I have nothing against betas—they're the backbone of our pack, in fact—I don't want someone like her or even another Alpha. I want you. Only you. Sweet and soft is fucking overrated and boring.” He reached out to stroke a strand of wet hair from her face. “You're so strong and smart and
you
deserve happiness. Hell, I do too. And you make me damn happy, even when we're fighting. What makes you think you don't deserve to be with the man you love?” His question came out hesitantly, as if he was unsure about the love part.

She almost snorted. As if she didn't love him. She'd been in love with him for much longer than she cared to admit. “You're pretty arrogant yourself, making assumptions that I love you,” she said through another sniffle. It made her feel excruciatingly vulnerable to lay her soul bare to him like this.

He grinned then, wickedly, seeing right through her. She wanted to say the words and tell him she loved him too but what he did next stopped her.

“So, if we have all this bullshit and your assumptions out of the way . . .” His hands tightened on her hips then he lifted her up so quickly she hadn't realized what he intended until he slid into her tight sheath. Her inner walls stretched and molded around him, a perfect fit.

“Oh . . . God.” She'd been wet earlier but she'd lost some of her arousal during their talk. Having him stretch her so fully like this was heaven. She swallowed hard as she adjusted to his size. Being with him was different from anything she'd ever experienced. Not that she had a ton of experience in the first place but this was
Noah
.

Her best friend. Now he knew everything about her and accepted the bad with the good.

A low growl emanated from him, making her clench her toes in anticipation for whatever was next. His hips rolled once, pushing even deeper inside her. She let out a gasp and tightened her fingers on him. Carefully watching her, he slowly leaned down and grasped her hardening nipple between his teeth. Closing her eyes, she let her head fall back as she moaned. This was almost too good to be true. She was so afraid she'd wake up and find out this was a dream. But it wasn't. Noah loved her and wanted her as his mate. He didn't care about things she'd assumed were important.

Ugh, he was
right
. She was arrogant. But, in her defense cubs were so important to shifter life and . . .
oh
, his teeth tightened on her nipple, the sensation bordering on pain, but so pleasurable it was sending tiny little messages to her clit, which was pulsing and swollen with arousal. Keeping his teeth pressed down, he lazily licked over the tip of her nipple, slowly and erotically. Sweet Lord, she could come from those strokes alone.

Holding on to his shoulders, she started moving over him, up and down in a very slow rhythm. Her inner walls clenched around him tighter with each stroke. It wouldn't take her long and even though she desperately wanted to prolong this, she wanted to come even more. She was so greedy for him and everything he had to offer, it scared her.

It had been way too long and having Noah inside her right now was almost surreal. His mouth and hands were amazing, but having his cock inside her was pure bliss.

As she started to ride him faster, Noah chuckled against her breast. The action tingled, making shivers skitter over her sensitive skin. He tightened his hands on her hips and tugged her down so that she was completely impaled by him, but he refused to let her move as he oh so slowly kissed a path toward her other breast. His wicked tongue flicked over her other nipple. Then he feathered the softest kisses around her areola, teasing her relentlessly.

She tried to rise up, but he held fast. “Tease,” she growled. It was one of the things she loved most about him. He was so damn strong and had no problem taking charge in the bedroom, but he was strong enough to let her do her job without being intimidated. If anything, he seemed to get off on her strength. But right now he was getting off on keeping her immobile. And so was she. She grew wetter by the second as he held her in place. Being unable to move like this was incredibly erotic.

He just chuckled against her breast. The sensation sent a shiver rolling through her. “Touch yourself,” he ordered, his voice raspy.

He didn't have to tell her twice. Reaching between her legs, she started rubbing her clit. She'd done this so many times to thoughts of Noah it was kind of embarrassing. “You know how many times I've touched myself thinking about you?” she whispered.

He froze, his tongue on the underside of her breast. His breath was hot against her body. Then she could feel more than see him smile. “You thought about me?”

“Uh-huh.” She continued moving her finger over herself, the friction pushing her closer and closer to climax. It felt amazing, especially combined with what he was doing with his mouth but it wasn't enough. She needed more movement inside her.

He completely stilled. “What kinds of things did you think about?”

“Later.” She could barely think, let alone talk dirty right now. She just wanted to come. So bad her body was trembling with the need.

“We're revisiting this conversation later.” He sucked on her breast then, the action sharp and hungry. She arched into him, needing more.

“Move, damn it.” She was on the verge, if he'd just let her . . .

His hands loosened on her hips but instead of letting her ride him, he moved quickly and pinned her back against the wall. His mouth covered hers again as he thrust into her in long, hard strokes.

That was exactly what she needed. Everything about his movements was frantic and unsteady. Noah rarely lost control so as he pounded into her as if he might actually die if he didn't get to come inside her, she couldn't have stopped herself from climaxing if she'd wanted. Which she didn't.

Her orgasm was sharp as it punched through her entire system. Her breasts, still reeling from his kisses, felt heavy and sensitive as she rubbed against his chest. She tightened her legs around his waist as he continued slamming into her. Her heels dug into his tight backside. She savored the feel of those muscles clenching as he completely lost himself.

Noah tore his lips from hers, his mouth latching onto where her neck and shoulder met. His canines pierced her skin as his climax overtook him. Pain didn't even register, just pure pleasure. She sucked in a sharp gasp. The feel of being marked by him was like nothing she'd experienced. To have someone completely accept her for who she was, to not want to change or manipulate her was amazing.

And not just anyone, but Noah. Warmth rippled through her sated body as he completely filled her. Part of her wondered what the hell he was thinking by loving her, but she didn't care. He did and he was all hers now. There was no way she could ever let this man go. “I love you,” she managed to get out as his thrusts slowed, then subsided.

A stillness came over him, as though her words had just registered. Breathing hard, he still had her pinned up against the wall. The tile was cool against her back, but she felt as if her body was on fire. His cock had gone down a little, but not much. He was still half hard inside her and something told her it wouldn't be long before he was ready to go again. That was fine with her. She could do this with Noah all night long and never tire. Months and months of pent-up sexual frustration—yeah, they were going to make up for all that lost time starting now.