Awaken a Wolf (9 page)
“Not to us. Dangerous to you, sweetheart.” He exhaled slowly, trying to find the right words. “A
lygisa
isn’t like a full wolf. You’ll have the mantel of your shift and your powers, but you can only align yourself with one pack. Once you bond with a pack, your power is connected to that pack in a way that means you’ll never be free of them.”
She frowned, but he pushed forward before she could interrupt.
“You might feel an emotional connection to me as your mate, but that doesn’t mean that another pack can’t take you and make you their
lygisa
,” he explained. “If another pack were to take you and perform the bonding ceremony with you, you’d be their
lygisa,
and I wouldn’t be able to take you away. A
lygisa
can’t survive without her pack.” He looked at the book in her lap and ran his finger along the edge of the cover. He decided to be very blunt. “Up until the moment you perform the bonding ceremony, another pack could take you and perform the ceremony with you, whether you and I are mated fully or not. It would bind you to them irrevocably.”
She stared at him, her golden gaze seeming to see right through him. He could tell the moment when she fully understood what he had been trying to explain.
Her heart pounded and her mouth dropped open. “You mean a pack would force me through the ceremony and then watch their alpha rape me?”
He hated the way fear washed over her, a sour scent that made his wolf angry. “When I said it was dangerous for you, I meant it. There are alphas in the world who would do anything for the kind of power having a
lygisa
in their midst would give them. And you might think it’s cruel, but what female wouldn’t want a powerful creature to protect her pups and ensure that she’s safe from harm? There are many aspects about our kind that are good, but there are many that can seem evil or cruel.”
She stood so quickly the book dropped to the floor. “No! I don’t accept this at all.”
He picked up the book and laid it on the couch before standing in front of his mate. “You don’t have a choice.”
She blinked tear-filled eyes, and fat tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’m scared.”
“There isn’t anything to fear while you’re here with me, Cinder. I will keep you safe, and the pack will protect you with their lives.” He pulled her into a tight embrace. She was rod-iron straight for a long moment before relaxing into him and gripping his shirt with her fists.
“Why me?”
“Because you’re special.”
“I’m not. I’m just a Wiccan.”
“Not anymore. Whether you want this to happen or not, on the full moon you’re going to become the
lygisa
of the pack and my mate in truth.” He tipped her chin until she was looking at him.
“If I say no?”
He arched a brow. “Right now, the newness of your change in power is overshadowing everything, but I’ll remind you that the full moon is only four days away. Each day, the connection between us as mates grows, and eventually, you won’t be able to deny what’s happening between us.”
He dropped his face to the crux of her neck and licked her pulse. Her skin was warm, and he felt the thrum of her heartbeat against his tongue. Her arousal heated the air as she gasped his name when he gently bit her flesh. He knew he could push her arousal, seduce her quickly and overwhelm her so he could claim her as his mate, but he held back. He wanted her, more than he’d ever wanted another female in his entire life. If it were just a physical need, he wouldn’t worry about her heart or her mind, but he didn’t just want her body to agree to be his, he wanted
all
of her. He was a greedy son of a bitch.
He kissed the slight mark he’d made on her throat and, even though it was difficult, he pushed her gently away. Picking up the book, he placed it in her hands. She blinked passion-glazed eyes at him.
“Read the book and then come find me.”
“Where are you going?” Her voice was rough and low.
“I need to check on some things, I won’t go far. Don’t leave the house for any reason, but you may go anywhere within it. It’s your house now too.”
He kissed her cheek and walked away, his wolf clawing in his head to go back and finish what he’d started with the bite.
Cinder wasn’t sure how long she sat on the couch with the book in her hands, with her mind spinning, but when she eventually opened the book, she felt as though the whole world dropped away. She completely immersed herself in the story of a Wiccan named Rachelle who found her mate in a wolf named Jacque. Unlike herself, Rachelle had embraced her mate immediately, knowing that they were meant to be together. Jacque wasn’t the alpha, but with Rachelle by his side, he took over his pack, and their power grew as the pack’s territory stretched for miles. They became one of the biggest and most feared packs in North America. They lived for hundreds of years as alphas of their pack. The first half of the book was a biography of the couple, up until their lives ended, when, during a winter hunt, the pack left their territory when they were chasing deer and ran straight through the territory of grizzly shifters, who slaughtered them. Although Rachelle had been left at their home because of a pregnancy, she died when her mate and most of the pack died. A
lygisa
can’t survive so much loss.
The last half of the old book contained spells to encourage communion between the wolves and their ancestors, concoctions to cure everything from morning sickness to food poisoning, and more than a dozen blessings tailor-made for a
lygisa
to share with her pack.
Cinder closed the book and laid her head back on the comfortable couch. Staring at the ceiling, she considered the changes in her life that had happened in such a short span of time. Overnight, her life had been ripped apart, great chunks of her identity strewn about, but she didn’t feel as if she was still in pieces and she knew that was because of Adam. He aggravated her with his heavy handedness, but she also coveted his strength and confidence. He had known the moment he laid eyes on her that she was his mate. She’d been utterly clueless, and then, when faced with the truth, she had spurned him at every turn. He was an alpha and she wasn’t giving him much respect.
Her fingers touched the mark he’d made. It was a shadow of what a truemate marking would be, when he would sink his fangs into her throat. Her gums tingled at the thought, and she realized that she could bite him too. It wasn’t a one-sided marking as it would have been before her powers changed. A giddy giggle bubbled up in her chest, and she couldn’t help but smile. There was something altogether exciting about the thought of sinking sharp fangs into Adam Beaumont’s flesh and making sure that no one else would ever touch him.
He’s mine
, she thought, and it didn’t frighten her. She’d thought she was happy with the way her life was before, but she knew now that it was a shallow happiness, the difference between a babbling brook and a raging river.
A throat cleared, and she knew it was Angie before she lifted her head to look at her. “You’re my future sister-in-law. Oh, wait, do wolves actually get legally married?”
Angie smiled and brushed a lock of dark hair behind her ear. “If they want to. Mating is more binding than a marriage. You can divorce someone, but you can’t erase markings and the bond between two mates. I’m certain that Adam will want to marry you so you’ll have his last name. We’ll be packmates and sisters.”
Cinder patted the couch cushion next to her, and Angie sat down quickly. “Talk to me about anything but
lygisa
and power, okay?” She put the book on the end table and turned her back on it. She wanted time to absorb what she’d learned before she talked to Adam. The vision she’d had of his death still hovered at the back of her mind, and her confusion concerning her new powers and everyone’s belief that she would shift on the full moon was too much to dwell on.
“Um, what do you want to talk about?”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
She shook her head. “We don’t really do that.”
“What, be boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“No, I mean be in a relationship with someone we aren’t meant to be mates with. Wolves are either mates or they’re not, there isn’t a reason to date someone who isn’t meant to be yours.”
“So you’ve never had a boyfriend? What about dating? Have you gone out with anyone?”
“I dated some human boys in high school, but they weren’t mine so it was just casual. There are males in the pack who I’m with on the full moon, but that’s duty more than desire.”
Brakes squealed in her mind. “What?”
Angie blinked bright blue eyes at her. “Unmated females have sex with unmated males on the full moon. The beasts are horny. We wouldn’t go out trolling for humans to fill that void. I don’t have to be with anyone I don’t want to be with, and it’s as much for my own needs as theirs, but…” her voice dropped off and her gaze traveled everywhere but to meet Cinder’s.
“But what?” Cinder encouraged.
She shook her head. “It’s too – I don’t want you to think less of me.”
“That’s not possible.”
“You won’t tell Adam?”
“As long as you’re not doing anything dangerous, I can keep what we say between us.”
Angie’s voice lowered to a whisper. “I don’t think my mate will be a wolf. I feel attracted to a certain type of male, but I don’t think Adam would approve.” After a brief moment, Angie continued, “I had a dream a couple years ago about being with two males at the same time. Wolves would never share their mate, so I know they aren’t wolves, and they bit me, but it wasn’t like a mating bite so much as the way certain supernatural creatures feed.”
She stared at Cinder intently and it took only a heartbeat before she put together what Angie was trying to say. Her future sister-in-law wanted to be in a ménage mating with two vampire males.
Holy crap!
Cinder’s mouth opened and closed a few times before she managed to say, “I don’t think vampires share either, hon.”
She shrugged. “I know what I dreamed. I don’t think it was a vision, but ever since that night, I haven’t really been happy with anything else. It all seems so ordinary.”
Cinder exhaled. “If you’re curious, one of my Wiccan friends lives with the coven. Her name is Arissa. She was really sweet to me when I first moved here, and although she lives at the club, she comes to the Wiccan store once a month. I could introduce you to her. Being with her would help to keep you safe. Shifter blood is addictive to their people, almost as much as Wiccan blood.” Cinder twisted her wrists and looked at the thin blue veins. “I don’t even know what to say about my blood now. A mix of both I guess.”
“Do you think Arissa would mind me hanging out with her?”
“I don’t see why not. You’re an adult, and you can make your own decisions about your life. Just be safe, no matter what you choose to do, okay?”
“I promise.”
They talked for a while longer, until Cinder’s stomach grumbled and Adam’s mom, who seemed to have sonic hearing, appeared with a tray of sandwiches. Other females came into the room, and they all shared the sandwiches and talked about the full moon and the pack. Cinder had always thought of the Wiccan coven as being her family, but the she-wolves included her so easily – as if she’d been there her whole life instead of hours, and she couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.
* * * * *
Cinder bolted upright with a scream lodged in her throat, thrashing wildly. Strong arms pinned her hands to a soft surface and a hard, warm body pressed over top of her. Panic screamed through her body, but it took only a heartbeat before she realized that it was Adam who covered her body with his own. As the roar of blood rushing in her ears subsided, she could hear him speaking softly and urgently.
“Calm down, sweetheart.”
She inhaled and the dark, woodsy scent of him filled her. Twisting her wrists, she linked her fingers with his and pressed her forehead to his collarbone.
“What happened?”
“I think you were having a nightmare,” he said, rolling off her body and twisting in the process until their positions were reversed.
She looked down at him. Moonlight streamed through the curtains, allowing her to see him clearly. Dark hair tousled from sleep, worry lines around his eyes and mouth. Letting her head fall farther down, she could see he was shirtless and a shift of her bare legs between his told her he was only wearing underwear. She pressed a kiss to the center of his chest.
He growled softly. “Sweetheart.”
She extracted her hands from his and bracketed his chest, levering herself over him with straight arms.
“You’re gorgeous.”
He chuckled. “Are you sure you’re awake?”
She lowered herself until she was hovering over one tiny brown nipple. Securing it between her teeth, she bit down gently and he groaned. She licked it, soothing the small pain, and straightened her arms again.
“I’m sure I’m awake.”
He cupped her cheeks and said, “You’re beautiful. I’m a lucky wolf to have you in my life.”
She settled herself on his chest, laying her head on her forearms. “I don’t know what I was dreaming about. Did I wake the whole house up?”
“Probably, but it doesn’t matter. I felt your terror before you actually screamed, so I was already on my way.”
He hadn’t been surprised earlier when she asked for a room of her own. She knew it was probably against every wolfy protocol to have the alphas sleeping in separate rooms, but they weren’t official mates yet and she still wanted some time to come to terms with what she’d learned.
“Thank you for coming for me.”
“I will always come for you, sweetheart.”
They lay in silence for a while, and she thought she might drift off to sleep again, but every time she shut her eyes, she was reminded of the dream she’d had of her father killing Adam and another male attacking her.
“Will you stay with me for the rest of the night?”
He moved so quickly she could only gasp at being suddenly in his arms as he strode from the room and down the hall to his own bedroom. He laid her gently on his bed and settled next to her without a word. She snuggled against him, wondering if she should tell him about her dream or just let it go. It might not be a vision. She thought about the wolves guarding the house tonight and all the pack members who were watching out for both of them and decided that she would tell him another day. Closing her eyes, she forced out of her mind the images of Adam dying and concentrated on the solid feel of his body as she snuggled closer.
* * * * *
She woke slowly from sleep, her body tingling and warm. She wiggled in the bed and stretched, and she felt Adam move closer to her. One of his legs was between hers, his thigh pressing against her pussy, separated only by a thin scrap of lace. She opened her eyes and looked down to see her tank top pushed up to the bottom of her breasts and him kissing slowly across her stomach.
“Good morning to you too,” she said, smiling, as she slid her fingers through his thick hair.
He licked around her navel, and her toes curled as shivers raced along her spine. “I woke up this morning with your hand cradling a very excited part of my anatomy.”
Her mouth dropped open. She went up on her elbows. “You’re joking.”
He nudged her pussy with his thigh, and she could feel how wet she was.
“I’m very serious, sweetheart. You were draped over me like a blanket, and your hand was having a good time. I just wanted you to enjoy it as much as I was.”
Her cheeks blazed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“For fuck’s sake, don’t apologize.” He moved over her, caging her in with his arms and staring down at her. “Cinder,” he growled her name, “be mine.”
She placed her hands on his waist and stroked up his sides. “I thought we had to wait until the full moon.”
“For your shift and for you to be
lygisa
, not to become mates. I want to mate you and mark you so that no one will even think of touching you.”
She smiled. “I had that same thought earlier.”
His eyes narrowed and he licked his lips. “I want my cock in your pussy and my fangs in your neck.”
His hand moved slowly, and she saw the ends of his fingertips as they shifted into dark claws. Her top ripped easily as he sliced it apart, and her panties didn’t stand a chance as he curled a claw around the delicate fabric and shredded it. He tossed the torn fabric aside. He glanced down at himself, and with two quick swipes of his claws, he shredded his boxer briefs and threw the fabric over the side of the bed. His claws receded and he cupped her cheek.
“This is stronger than human marriage, Cinder. When we mate, there’s no going back to the world you knew.”
“Are you trying to talk me out of it?”
“I just want you to know how serious this is. It’s not about you being
lygisa
. It’s because I’m crazy about you and I can’t stand the thought of spending another night without knowing what you taste like and hearing you scream my name in pleasure.”
She curled her hands in his hair and drew him down to her lips. “I’m crazy about you too.”