Awakened (22 page)

I walked up to the counter and
purchased a flight home. It was now boarding but they had available
seats in first class.

I boarded my plane and looked out the
window as we took off. The man I loved was sitting in Dallas while
I was on the first flight home to in an attempt to forget about
him.

I no longer wanted the key
to his heart. If he couldn’t let me in and show me who he truly is,
then I deserved better
.

Chapter
Fourteen

When I landed, I called a
cab to come pick me up and take me home. I felt numb; all I wanted
to do was crawl into my bed and cry for days. This wasn’t fair;
this wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I climbed into the cab and
turned on my phone. I had five missed calls from Stefan and a text,
asking if I was okay.
Screw him.
He didn’t deserve my time to text him back. I
would just let him worry about me, if you could even call it
that.

The cab pulled up in my drive way and
I noticed the stupid red Mercedes was in the drive way beside
Kennedy’s car. I was going to burn that stupid piece of shit car if
it didn’t get out of my sight soon. I tipped the driver, unloaded
my luggage and made my way to the front door. It was 1am so I was
hoping Kennedy would be sleeping so I could slip in unnoticed. I
just wanted to disappear from this horrible life.

The front door was unlocked, like
usual. I punched in the numbers into the security system and locked
the front door behind me. When I turned around Kennedy was standing
on the bottom step with a baseball bat.

“
Jennifer, what the hell is
wrong?” She said putting the bat down and walking towards me. “What
did that fucktard do to you? Do you want me to beat his ass,
because I will?”

“
I broke up with him…” The
tears started falling again. What was wrong with me?

“
Why?” She grabbed me and
hugged me, hard.

“
He’s fucked up, Ken, he’s
so fucked up!” I cried harder into her shirt.

“
Honey, calm down. Shh…it’s
okay, babe.” She walked me over to the couch, sitting me down
beside her.

“
Kennedy…..I just can’t do
this. I thought I could….I mean, I thought I could get over the
control freak, and the mysterious Stefan, but I can’t. He doesn’t
want to have a normal relationship. He wants me to be his….pet.” I
tried to wipe away the tears, but there were too many.

“
Babe, you have to do
what’s best for you, okay? You need to be in control of your fate.
You know your limits, and you know what you can and cannot take.
I’m sorry about what happened, I know you love him, and Jen, he
loves you too. You can see it in his eyes every time he looks at
you.” She wiped my tears away.

“
No, he doesn’t!” My voice
was angry. “He told me tonight I shouldn’t love a person like him,
I shouldn’t feel that way. I give up, Ken. Fuck him!” I stood up,
grabbed my suitcase and went upstairs leaving Kennedy speechless on
the couch.

When I made it to the top stair, I
turned around. “He didn’t even run after me when I left. He let me
leave; he fucking let me walk out of that damn house, Kennedy.
How’s that for love? Our relationship is just a big clusterfuck,
that’s all it is and that’s all it will ever be!” I turned around
and went to my room, slamming the door as hard as I could, hoping
to close myself off from the world.

I sat down on my bed, trying to
control my breathing. I felt like my heart was about to pump out of
my chest and explode. I sat there, staring at the blank wall that
stood in front of me. I wanted Stefan to walk through the door and
tell me he was sorry for everything, but I knew that would never
happen.

I laid my head down on my
pillow and memories of Stefan laid there with me. How long was this
going to happen? Would I ever get over him? As much as I hated him,
my heart continued to ache for him. I had been the one to walk out,
no, more like run; I ran as fast as I could out of that
house.
Why didn't he try to stop
me?

I climbed underneath my blanket,
hoping to cry so much that I would eventually fall asleep. I’d
rather he had stabbed me in the heart then to look me in the eyes
and say I shouldn't love him.

Kennedy knocked lightly on the door.
"Jen? Can I come in?"

"I really don't want to
talk right now. I'd rather be alone."
I'd
rather be in his arms, and find out this was all a horrible
nightmare.
I knew that wasn’t going to
happen, so alone was the best alternative.

"Jennifer, please. Let's talk about
this. It will help, I promise." She slowly opened the door letting
light fill my room.

"Kennedy, I don't want to. I just want
to stay in my bed and cry." I threw a pillow at the
door.

"You're fucking kidding me
right now, right? Stefan is texting me, telling me I need to talk
to you to make sure you're alright because he's fucking worried
about you. I am
trying
to be a best friend and you're throwing fucking pillows at me?
Stop acting so childish!"

"Well tell Stefan I am fine and he can
go fuck himself!" I turned my head the other way. It actually felt
good to yell, to let all my feelings go.

"He didn't mean what he said okay? He
wants to talk to you, maybe you should think about it?" She sat
down on the edge of my bed placing her hand by my ankle.

"You know, Kennedy, one minute you
hate him and you don't want us to be together and then the next you
want me to talk to him again and listen to what he has to say. Why
can't you just be on my side? For once, Kennedy, just let me do
whatever the hell I want to do without making me feel bad for my
decision. Please, just leave my room."

"Just because he broke your heart
doesn't mean you have to take it out on me, Jennifer. Remember
that." And with that she was out the door, slamming it behind
her.

I buried my face deep into the pillow
to try and muffle my crying and screaming. My whole world was
falling down around me and all I could do was stand there and
watch.

Finally, my tears stopped and my eyes
closed. I guess it was possible to cry yourself to sleep after all.
All I saw was darkness, exactly what my world looked like without
Stefan in it.

I woke up Sunday evening to the rain
drops pounding on my window. I rolled over and looked at my phone;
the time read 6:30pm. There were no text messages and no missed
calls. The fact that I had lost Stefan slammed into me, yet again.
He was not coming for me; he wasn't going to chase after me like
the guys always did in the love stories. We didn’t have a normal
love story. We have…had a fucked up love story.

I had no more tears to cry. I was so
thirsty and had no energy for anything right now. I went down
stairs and as I reached the bottom step, it was like all the color
had been restored to my favorite black and white picture. All the
air had come back into my lungs and finally, I was able to breathe.
I was awakened.

Sitting on my couch was my everything,
the most beautiful person I had ever laid eyes on. I started
remembering what happened the night. I hated him. I wanted to hate
him.

"Jennifer..." Stefan’s voice trailed
off. He stood to his feet, not moving towards me like he usually
did. I couldn’t find my voice to speak to him nor did I want to
give him the satisfaction of listening to my voice.

I tried to hide the sparkle in my eye
as I made my way to the kitchen to get a glass of water
deliberately walking by him and not touching him. Why was he making
this harder on me? Why couldn't he just leave me alone? If he was
running after me, he was a little too late.

Stefan started walking over to the
kitchen. "Jennifer, baby, please talk to me." He was standing in
the entry way to the kitchen. He looked delicious, wearing his gray
suit pants with a white button up shirt; the sleeves rolled up
revealing his tattoos. His hair was kind of a mess; he had
definitely been running his hands through it a lot
today.

My head snapped when he
said the word baby.
How dare he!
I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to punch him in
the throat. I wanted to throw every dish in this fucking kitchen
right at his stupid, beautiful, edible body.

Instead, I set my glass of water down
and walked over to my purse that held the keys to that stupid car
out front. I found them and turned around, his head cocked
sideways, curious as to what I was doing.

I walked by him and shoved the keys
into his chest as I turned and went back into the kitchen to finish
my water.

"Jennifer, talk to him!
Stop being so fucking stubborn and listen to him. He's here trying
to apologize for Christ's sake!" Kennedy yelled at me. Suddenly my
voice came back to me, but it wasn't
my
voice, it was a terribly high
pitched, yelling, and crying voice.

"Leave me the fuck alone, both of you!
I will be as stubborn as I damn well please!" I paused and looked
up, trying not to cry.

"Jennifer, please let's go upstairs
and talk. Don't do this right here," Stefan pleaded.

I ignored him. "I tried. I tried to be
everything you wanted and it all slapped me in the face. Stefan, I
trusted you with everything I had in my heart, and you shit on
that. So take your stupid fucking red Mercedes and get the hell out
of my house." I walked towards the door. I was so angry.

"I am not taking the Mercedes. I gave
it to you as a present." Stefan sounded defeated.

"Fine!" I walked over and grabbed the
keys out of his hands, careful not to touch his skin. I couldn't
allow myself to go there, not now.

"Where are you going?" Kennedy asked
as I grabbed my purse.

"Away from here." I opened the
door.

Kennedy and Stefan ran to
the door.
Shit,
Stefan's Mercedes was blocking my way out.

"Can you move your car, Stefan?" I
turned around and placed my hand on my hip.

“
You’re not leaving,
Jennifer.” He didn’t move.

“
Yes I am!” I stomped my
foot as the tears began to flow.
Why was
he doing this to me?

“
Will you please just
listen to me, for one minute. Stop running.”

“
I just want to get out of
here, Stefan. I need to think.”

“
You’ve had time to think;
now it’s time to talk.” He stepped down the stairs, cautiously
eyeing me.

“
Fine, I’ll walk.” I turned
around.
Fuck!

Stefan got in his car, moved it out of
the way and hopped back. I walked over to my car, opening the door
as Stefan caught up to me and put his hand on the door.

Jennifer, please talk to me." Stefan's
tone was cold and his eyes were burning.

"You are no longer my lover! Back off
my door so I can leave. And don't even think about following me!" I
slammed the door, started the engine and backed out of the drive
way. I looked at Stefan one last time before I punched the gas
pedal; all I could see was defeat in his eyes. The sadness engulfed
him, but I didn’t care; he deserved to feel exactly as I had felt
when I left.

I had no idea where I was going. I
pulled down my mirror and checked my face, my red eyes were puffy
and swollen.

I decided coffee would do the trick so
I drove to the nearest Starbucks. I fixed my hair and rubbed my
eyes before getting out and walking into the coffee shop. I ordered
a caramel macchiato with two extra shots of espresso, grabbed a
magazine and sat down to wait for my coffee.

It was a magazine about stocks. I
really had no interest in reading it except to flip through it and
see if I could find Stefan’s name.

"
Long Publishing's CEO, Stefan Long, has started a new
venture. It has only been three months since Long Publishing Inc.
opened its doors in Oklahoma City, OK, but from the looks of it,
Long Shares has quickly became the leader, passing every other
stock and share business out there. We will be keeping an eye on
his business as it grows and develops."