Awakenings (A Witch's Coven Novel Book 1) (6 page)

I chanced to be honest with him and to show my feelings. “I have cared for you from afar.” I did not turn from his gaze. “I am not afraid to say it. It is the truth.”

“But because you are a servant, you never came to speak to me.”

I said nothing but kept my hand on his chest.

“The war has changed much. I wonder if it will change that.” He took my hand from his chest and put it in his. “Does my mother know of my injuries?”

“I do not know. I will talk with Stephen and find out more from him. Do not worry. Rest, heal, and be well.”

“Please, I don’t want her to find out yet. If she does, she’ll only get in the way. I want to be left alone for a while.” He still held onto my hand and would not let go.

“I will tell Stephen not to speak to your mother yet, but soon she will need to know. She is probably worried out you.”

“Yes, I know, but not now.” He tried to be strong for me. I could see it in his eyes. “It is so hard. The pain is great.”

I closed my eyes and wished the pain from him, taking it into me, but nothing happened. I nodded to him instead. “I know.”

I left him there, and he watched as I walked away. I wondered what he thought of a strange servant girl who just spoke to him in such a close and intimate way. But I needed to leave because I did not know how much longer I could hold back my tears. I went back to my room, closed my door, and cried. When I shut my eyes, I could see the wounded reaching for me and hear their cries. Months ago they had marched off strong and at their best, but now, they returned weak, battered, and broken. They were shells of who they once were, returned shattered in spirit and body. We would need to be strong to help them come back to life. But with missing appendages, their journey back would not be easy.

Days passed and eventually several weeks. The winter faded away, giving up her icy grip over the land. Although we had a hard winter that year, the women of the city prayed for cold. The war had been put on hold and had turned more to a siege down south. Both sides regrouped, pulled back, and dug in over the winter months. Stores of food were increased and sent to the front along with fresh volunteers who were younger and some much older than the original soldiers who had gone out.

Denise came to me one late winter morning with eyes red. She cried into her handkerchief, and I took her into my arms.

“I know, I know.” I did not know what else to say.

“They made him go. He wanted to stay with me, but they forced him to go.” She buried her head in my shoulder and sobbed. I comforted her as best I could but could hear the heartbreak in her voice. “They took my Cameron away. My love …”

With his clubbed foot and all, he and many others were forced into service to help protect the city. The conscripted soldiers were lined up early one late winter morning and marched out of the city’s gates. Women of all sorts came out to watch the parade of men leave the city. Some wore black armbands in memory of other loved ones they had lost. Mothers had lost sons, others husbands and brothers. The men who remained were past fifty years of age or were wounded beyond healing. They could not walk, see, or had succumbed to battle fatigue, collapsing in on themselves and so distraught that they needed care to deal with the constant nightmares they saw.

I held Denise close to me, and we watched the men march out of the city gates. When she caught sight of Cameron, she broke from me and ran to him. I tried to hold her back but stopped. She might be seeing him for the last time, and it might be best for both of them if they had a chance say goodbye no matter what the rest of the city thought of their coming together. She flung herself at him, and he pulled her close and kissed her on the mouth. His commander came by them and gave them some time to say good-bye. I could see Denise’s face upturned and so full of anguish. She said something to him, but I was too far away and could not hear her words. Cameron then touched her face and kissed her on the lips again and hugged her.

The commander pulled them apart, and Denise stood there waving at Cameron and the others. We all watched the men march off with the early morning sun rising in the sky. The day would be beautiful and warm with winter a memory of the past. I came back to our house and went to work. Many were still at the parade, but when Denise returned home, she left me and went right to her room. I tried to convince her to stay so that we could talk together, but when she saw Stephen waiting on our steps, she only shook her head and went off.

“Did they all leave?” Stephen used his cane to help him up and walked over to me slowly.

“Almost.” I hugged myself and stood there watching him. I knew what he would say but hoped he wouldn’t.

“I want to be with them.” He swung his cane against the ground. It hit with a solid thud and, luckily, did not break.

“We have talked of this before, and I do not wish to fight with you again.” I stood before him and put my arms out to hug him, but he stood back. “You are injured and can barely walk straight.”

He sneered at me and shook his head. “I feel useless here. I can’t help anyone.” He looked away toward the rising sun. “The Southerns are coming, and they must be stopped. I saw what they did to our troops. They skinned them and mutilated them. If we don’t fight, they will pillage this city and rape and kill you. They will take Charles and …”

“Enough!” I reached out and grabbed his hands in mine. “I understand. I do. But you are wounded and not fully healed. Even the commanders did not clear you for battle, and you must accept that. Charles will never walk again, and those of us who are here need you to focus on getting well. Wanting to go fight when you can’t is not going to help you get better.”

“I wanted to run off with them, but I …” He clenched his fists in frustration.

“You couldn’t even walk out of this courtyard without the headaches and the pain. I saw you yesterday morning when you thought you were alone. You stumbled when you left the back courtyard and fell onto the street. An old woman helped you up and brought you back outside.” I grabbed his clenched fists and held them in my hands. “I understand that you want to fight, but today you cannot. You and Charles both need to rest, and time will heal you. You must be patient.”

He gave in to me and relaxed. He unclenched his hands and accepted my hug. “It’s so hard. You don’t understand what we saw out there.”

“I won’t ever understand what you went through, but it is my job as your friend to help you, and that’s what I’m doing now. You need to take care of yourself and rest. If the Southerns break through our forces, we will fight here. But not today. Today you must rest.”

Stephen muffled a frustrated scream, and then pulled me close. “I want to kill all of them for what they did to us. I want revenge.”

“But if you hold that all in, it will eat at you. Focus on rest today and deal with tomorrow when it comes.” I clung to him, afraid that the Gods might swoop down and take him from me.

“I will try.” He wiped the tears from his face and kissed me on my forehead.

“That’s a start.” In the distance, we both heard the trumpets that announced that the commanders had left the city. Most of our men had gone now, headed south to the next battle with the Southerns. We held each other and listened to the trumpets until, with a flurry and fanfare, they simply stopped.

***

Alessia came to me weeks later, as I expected. She asked to see me, and I granted her an audience. The day had long gone, and now it was late in the evening. She came in wearing her black robe and not dressed for bed. I knew at once where the conversation would go.

“Sit down.” I motioned toward a chair.

“I will not be here long.” She bowed at me. “Thank you, though.”

“It is late and past the time that the initiates should be up. Tomorrow will be a difficult day of lessons. Why are you not in bed?” I sat in my chair and watched her. I had been young once too.

“I have decided to leave the coven and did not wish to sneak off in the night.” She faced me and looked me in the eye when she spoke.

“I see.” I folded my hands together. “May I ask why you have decided to go? When we last spoke, you made it clear that you would stay.”

She held her head high and said, “I am in love with John, and we are leaving the city tomorrow.”

“The mayor’s son?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Where will you go?” I watched her shoulders slump a bit.

“We will head north and look for work together through the guild and make our way.” She started to say more, but I interrupted her.

“You know that once you leave I cannot let you back into the coven. There are only so many initiates I can train, and I will find someone to replace you. Once I do, there will be no coming back.” She started to speak but I cut her off. “And, your aunt and cousin, what of them?”

“I will send money to them once we are settled up north and help them as best I can.” She shifted from one foot onto the other as she spoke.

“I see that you have a plan, and that it’s all thought through. I expect that you have saved some coin and are ready to go in the morning. You and John will ride off up north, find your way, and build your life together.” I unfolded my hands and tapped my fingers on the arm of my chair. “But I wonder what you will do when the mayor sends his guards after you, and they catch up to you both and bring John back to the city. What will you do then?”

“I have my magic to protect us.” She stood firm and adamant.

“You are a second-level initiate and have three years of studying left. I have seen your magic; it is strong, but wild and unpredictable. You will not be able to hold your illusions for long, and they will find you.”

“We will travel at night and hide during the day. My magic is strong enough!” She raised her voice at me and went to turn away.

I did not yell back at her because I knew that she would not bend to my will. “Alessia, listen to me.”

She stopped for a moment and waited to hear me speak.

“I understand what you want to do and how you feel. I truly do. I tell you this because I love you and want the best for you. Your magic will not protect you. I have seen through your spells, and so will the city guards. They will track you with hounds and come upon you when you are sleeping. Then they will drag John back to the city, and he will be with his father the mayor and you will be left alone. The guards will abandon you, and you’ll be alone. Your aunt and cousin will suffer, and so will you. I tell you this to help you.” I stood up and went over to her and put out my hands. “You are free to do what you will, but I will not hide the truth from you.”

She froze, and I could see what she thought. The question formed, and she was afraid to ask it, but ask she did. “Have you seen this?”

I closed my eyes and remembered. The spell came back to me, and I could see the images in the pool of water. The flickering of the future that faded in the ripples. “I saw you in your black cloak, and John dressed in tradesman clothes headed out together on the road. You will travel for three days before they find you. But find you they will.” I opened my eyes and looked her right in the eyes. “Yes, I have foreseen it.” A lie, but Alessia did not need to know that.

She tried to turn away but could not. I had her curious now, and that would be a start. She bit at her lip, unsure of what to do. “And what happened to us in your vision?”

“I told you. The guards dragged John back to the city, and you were exiled and on your own.”

“But after? What happened after?” Alessia asked.

“I did not need to see more.” I turned away and went to the window and looked out into the night. “On your own, with little money, how long do you think you could last? Either you would be robbed on the highway, raped, captured, and sold into slavery for the south, or you make it to a distant village and live out your life as a freak who could do some magic. You are not a healer and have none of that type of magic. You can cast illusions and have yet to learn the more difficult of spells. What do you think your chances are of surviving on your own? And what of your aunt and cousin? If you get word to them that your plan has failed, do you expect them to leave their home here in the city to come after you and save you?”

“No, I would not want them to do that.” She paused, and then said, “But my aunt loves me and she would come searching for me if she learned that John had returned. She would give everything up for me.”

“Yes, she probably would. All of this would happen because you love a boy. And a father loves his son. Which do you think is more powerful?” I had to say it, but it was the truth.

“The mayor’s.” She bowed her head in defeat.

I stood in front of her and lifted her head up by her chin. “Look at me.”

She did so and held my gaze.

“You are not defeated yet. You are tempted by love and are experiencing strong feelings for the first time in your life. You want to climb mountains and sing and dance of your love for John, and he might do the same. But there’s another way. You do not need to run away. I will not often tell you to do this, but in this case, it is the best advice I can give you. Do you want to know what it is?”

She nodded. “Yes, what would you do?”

“I would hide. Hide your love from John’s father and the world. In the world of darkness and shadow, there you can share your love.”

“But where could we meet and be together?” An idea popped into her head. “Can I bring him here?” She grabbed my hands. “We will be quiet, but it would give us a place to talk and to be.”

I pulled my hands away from hers. “No, I cannot allow that. If the mayor learned that I was harboring his son who loved one of my initiates, he would shut me down. It took me years to build trust with him. I cannot allow that to happen.” Alessia could not hide her disappointment. “I cannot grant you special privileges that the other initiates do not have. It would not be fair to them and I do not want to turn my coven into a brothel.”

“Then what am I to do?” She pulled her cloak tighter around her. “Sneak with him in the dark? Or abandon him all together?”

“Sit down and I will tell you a story.”