B is for… (7 page)

“Mae, your bottom!”

Mae looked over to see Alice, one of the subs she was friends with, staring at her ass.

Alice had only recently made the transition from the sweet, if kinky, role of being a “little” with no pain play to being a BDSM submissive. She was still shocked by some of the less obviously-sexy aspects of the BDSM world.

“Hi, Alice.”

“What
happened
to you?”

Mae frowned. Alice’s reaction wasn’t totally unexpected, but she found herself irritated that the other sub couldn’t see how pretty her ass, red from the flogger and bearing a few darker splotches that might be bruises, was. Though it hurt to sit, Mae had been admiring it all morning.

“I got a beating.”

“Oh
no.
I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I enjoyed it.”

“You did? But I didn’t think you liked stuff like that.”

Neither did I.

Mae shrugged and finished applying her makeup. “I liked trying something different.” The clock on the wall read eleven-fifteen. Time to go.

“Wait…you said a beating. Does that mean you got the letter B?”

Mae smiled. “Yes, I did. Did you get a letter?”

“No, just a note to show up next weekend.”

“Sounds fun. Be good, Alice.”

“Mae, you didn’t tell me who your partner is.”

Mae tucked her makeup bag into a cubby in the dressing room and checked her reflection—the belled clamps dangled from her breasts and sex, the heavy cuffs made her wrists and ankles look tiny and delicate, and the plain leather collar around her neck made it abundantly clear that she was dressed this way by command. Not that anyone who knew her would think she’d have chosen to present herself like this.

She looked at Alice and smiled. “Master Xavier.”

Alice’s eyes went round as saucers. “The one with the mask?”

Mae laughed and nodded.

A delicious mix of trepidation and anticipation filled her as she exited the Subs’ Garden and headed for the Sub Rosa Court. She’d never had anything but fun in those rooms, and wondered what Master Xavier had in store for them there. It was brunch time and there were plenty of people out, most like her having just woken up. Heads turned as she moved, the bells drawing everyone’s attention.

She knew now why Xavier had wanted her to wear them. The surprised stares and raised brows were a repeat of Alice’s reaction, emphasizing that Xavier had done something to her that wasn’t usual. He’d mastered her in a way no one else ever had. Mae was not particularly modest, especially here, but she rarely was nude in the public spaces, and that added to the sense of otherness she felt.

His possession of her body and control of her submission was like a cloak around her, both highlighting her nakedness and protecting her from the opinion of others.

When she reached the Griff’s Red room she found the door already open slightly. This time Mae didn’t bother to arrange her hair or think about her expression. She slipped into the playspace, nervous excitement causing butterflies in her belly.

The elegant chamber was dominated by a four poster bed. There was a large armchair, the seat wide enough for two, an ottoman perfectly sized to have someone kneeling on it, and an
en suite
bathroom with a claw footed tub. An antique screen in the corner created a dressing area, an armoire full of toys and linen beside it.

A set of French doors in the exterior wall revealed a wide expanse of lawn, and off to the left, the double row of palm trees that lined the drive and gave the estate its name.

“Mae, it’s a pleasure to see you.” Master James rose from a replica turn-of-the-century armchair, closing the book he’d been reading.

“Master James.” Mae jumped when she saw him, then dipped her head. “My apologies. I must have misheard my instructions for the morning. Please excuse me.” She backed toward the entrance.

“No, Mae. You’re in the right place. Close the door and come here.”

Mae’s heart leapt into her throat. “Master James?”

He took a seat on the extra-wide chair and patted his knee. “Come to me.” It seemed like he expected her. That he’d been waiting for her.

Was this some kind of test? Where was Xavier? Her excitement was morphing to dread.

“Master James, I was supposed to meet Master Xavier.”

“Is that what he told you, or did he tell you to come to this room at 11:30?”

A ball of icy disappointment and shame solidified in her belly. Mae closed her eyes, fighting back tears. “He told me to come here, Sir.”

“You obeyed him, and now you’ll obey me, won’t you?”

“Master James, I…”

“You can use your safe word, if you feel the need. Otherwise you’re still under Master Xavier’s control, and must obey his orders.”

Mae didn’t move. She couldn’t.

Last night both she and Xavier had acknowledged that they weren’t exactly a good fit, but once they’d started, their chemistry had been amazing, leading to one of the most intense sexual experiences of Mae’s life. But clearly Xavier hadn’t felt the same.

“Do you need to use your safe word? I’ll tell Master Xavier and the overseers, so you don’t have to.”

Mae cleared her throat. “No, Master James. It’s my pleasure to submit.” The words rolled off her tongue with ease—a formulaic response.

She wanted to demand answers, but she bit the inside of her cheek, making her way to Master James, now hating the stupid bells that jingled with each step.

“On my lap.”

It was an order she’d heard plenty of times before, from James and others. She slid onto his lap, straddling his thighs with her legs on the seat. James spread his own legs a bit, forcing hers open further. Mae pressed her nails into her palms.

James flicked the bells dangling from her pussy lips. “You don’t seem happy to see me, Mae.”

“My apologies, Sir.” She tried and failed to smile, to pretend everything was all right when inside she was so very angry and upset.

“You’re also being uncommonly obedient.”

The casual comment, said with a smile, cut deep. Mae took a shuddering breath. “Was I… Am I a bad submissive?”

James stroked her arms with his palms. “No, Mae. You’re a lovely sub to play with.”

Her throat was too tight for words, so Mae only nodded in acknowledgement.

James carefully took the clamps off her pussy lips, massaging them gently. Mae’s sex clenched when he brushed her clit, but it was a purely physical reaction.

“What’s wrong, Mae? I thought you’d be happy to be here with me.”

This time she forced a smile and tossed her hair, struggling to put aside what she was feeling and present herself the way she normally did. “Of course I am, Sir.”

Master James raised one brow, clearly not believing her.

She toyed with the top button of Master James’s shirt. “Did you miss me?”

Master James frowned.

Desperation curled in Mae’s belly. She’d disappointed Master Xavier and now it looked like she was disappointing Master James.

“I want to be a good sub.” That much was true. She ran her hands down Master James’s chest, then brushed her palm against his crotch. “May I, Sir, please?” If she could pleasure him in this most basic way, he might not notice the pain she was sure was hiding in her eyes.

“Don’t you want me to play with you first?” Master James ran two fingers over the lips of her sex. “I heard that your scene with Master Xavier was pure BDSM. No sex, no pleasure.”

“Did Master Xavier tell you that?” Mae tried to keep her tone light, to pretend she didn’t care what Xavier had said about her, or thought about her.

But Master James didn’t answer her question. “I saw the marks. Did you like your beating?”

She didn’t have to answer. Her body did it for her, a small moan escaping her before she clamped her lips closed.

“Do you wish he’d fucked you?”

Mae closed her eyes.

“Answer me.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“If you agreed to add sex as part of your session, you’d be completely at his mercy. There would be no restrictions on how he could touch you.”

The idea of being at the mercy of Master Xavier sent arousal shooting through her. James’s fingers dipped into the entrance of her pussy, finding the fresh wetness there.

“You’re wetter now, Mae. Is that because I talked about Master Xavier?”

A tear slid down her cheek. “Please, Sir. Let me suck your cock. I don’t want to talk about Master Xavier.”

“Because you’re scared of him?”

“No, because…because I’m not scared. I should be and I’m not and I hate it that he didn’t want me.” Mae couldn’t hold in her feelings anymore. She covered her face with her hands.

James pulled her against his chest, rubbing her back until she calmed a bit. “You’ve been lying to all of us, haven’t you?”

“What?” Mae sat back, shocked at his words. She shook her head. “I haven’t lied.”

“You have, but you lied to yourself more than anyone. Mae, you need more than this.” Master James gestured around the pretty room.

“No, I love this.” She did. This is who she was.

“You’ve grown as a submissive.” He lowered his voice. “I know who you are outside of these walls, and you can still be that person. Wanting something darker and harder doesn’t have to change that.”

Mae bowed her head. “I’m not what Master Xavier wants. I can’t be what he wants.”

“You shouldn’t want to be anything but true to yourself. I think you’ve been hiding for far too long. Maybe it’s time to move on from being the naughty girl or sassy princess.” Those were only a few of the pet names she’d been called over the years.

“It’s who I am.”

“It’s who you were.”

“Please, Master James. I can’t talk about this.” Mae jumped off his lap, suddenly frantic to get rid of the collar and cuffs. To free herself of any reminder of Xavier and return to the kind of BDSM that she was comfortable with. Master James stood and reached for her but she stumbled back. She ripped the clamps from her nipples and threw them aside, then jerked at the buckle of the collar.

“Mae, enough.” The deep voice cut through the buzzing in her ears. Like a tolled bell it focused her thoughts and calmed her mind. Mae looked slowly to Master James, who indicated with a jerk of his head that she should turn around.

Master Xavier stepped out from behind the dressing screen. He was again wearing all black clothing and the severe mask. He was a menacing, raw presence, out of place in the elegant room, but no less powerful or in command here than he had been in the Iron Court.

She looked from James to Xavier, the pieces clicking together.

“You—” Her voice broke. Mae took a breath that was meant to be calming, but instead all it did was fuel the fire of her rage. “You
son of a bitch.
”

Mae leaped at Xavier, wanting him to feel some of the pain he’d caused her. She had the satisfaction of seeing his eyes widen before James caught ahold of her, pulling her back toward the bed.

“You complete ass.” Mae struggled against Master James. “Let me go.”

“No, Mae. I won’t. Calm down and think.”

“I am thinking.” Her hair whipped over her face, obscuring her vision. “He tricked me. You tricked me.” Mae tossed her head to the side, managing to knock Master James’s chin. With an
oomph
he let go of her.

Mae brushed her hair out of her eyes with her hands, ready to let Master Xavier have it.

But he was already there. Mae squeaked in surprise to see him looming over her, but before she could do or say anything he grabbed her arms, forcing her back three steps and then raising her hands above her head, clicking the D-rings on her cuffs onto a chain that dangled from the bedpost. In a matter of seconds he took command of her body, his control precise and absolute.

He pushed her back against the post and he curled one hand around her neck, digging his fingers into the pressure points at the back of her jawbone. “Enough.”

Mae closed her eyes, competing feelings of relief and anger warring within her. Relief from having him in control and anger for this heartless charade he’d put her through.

“Look at me.”

Mae met his gaze, and there was something in his eyes that seemed to echo what she was feeling. He tipped her head back a fraction, gaze hardening until his eyes were as unreadable as his masked face.

“You will submit. You will behave.”

“Yes, Master Xavier,” she murmured.

“Good.” Xavier released her.

James was rubbing his jaw and looking at her in a decidedly unfriendly way. “Mae was always a bit bratty, but this is new.” He looked from Xavier to her. “You two need to talk. I have this room reserved for the weekend. You’re welcome to it until this evening.”

The other Dom clapped Xavier on the shoulder before leaving and closing the door behind him.

Now that she was alone with Master Xavier, Mae didn’t know what to say, what to feel.

Their gazes met once more, and she had this strange feeling that Xavier was just as much at a loss as she was. She’d never even spoken to him until twelve hours ago, and yet the idea that he’d dismissed her by passing her off to another Master had shredded her heart. That he had the power to impact her so heavily was beyond worrying. It was terrifying.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

His words were both unexpected and infuriating. “You gave me to another Dom.” Mae tried to keep the emotion out of her voice, to match his level tone. “How did you think that would make me feel?” She wasn’t succeeding—pain leaked into her words.

He shook his head. “I don’t own you. I couldn’t give you away, even if I wanted to. And I don’t.”

“I thought…” Mae blinked to keep tears from falling.

“James is the kind of Dom you like. I thought you’d be comfortable with him.”

“I didn’t walk away last night when you told me to, so now you’re trying to get rid of me this way? Then you could have a sub who won’t ever talk back or be scared.” Mae spat each word, losing the battle with her feelings. Pain and a sense of betrayal made her long to lash out again.

Xavier grabbed her hips, jerking them against his. For the first time she felt the hard length of his erection. The evidence of his desire took her breath away.