B00MV3HMDW_EBOK (10 page)

“Call
Crest
,” Taryn said, not knowing how she even had the strength or courage to get the words out. “Call him and tell him that you’re heading back to Minneapolis. I can’t have you here.”

Chapter Eight

“H
old on there, buddy,” Lach said over the phone line, his confusion evident. “I didn’t hear you correctly. What did you do?”

“I kissed her.” Ethan glanced at the clock on the bedside table, seeing that it read one o’clock in the morning. He’d been pacing for the last couple of hours, trying his damnedest to think of how to repair the damage he’d done. The thing of it was, kissing Taryn had felt so right, he wasn’t sure he wanted things to return to the way they were. “She wants me to go back to Minneapolis, but we both know I can’t do that. We need to deal with what’s happening.”

“Are you fucking with me?”

Ethan could hear Phoebe Dunaway in the background asking if everything was okay. That was a damn good question and one that he didn’t know how to answer. Phoebe was Lach’s fiancée and the reason that he was going to contract work with CSA. She was the daughter of a presidential nominee and Lach couldn’t bring himself to be away from her side after a hostage situation had occurred where he could have easily lost her. Ethan now understood how Lach felt and it was confusing and made his gut twist. Who the hell said that loving someone was easy?

“No, I’m not fucking with you, dickhead,” Ethan replied, desperation clawing at his stomach. “Would I be calling you in the middle of the goddamned night if I wasn’t in some serious need of a brother’s advice?”

“She’s part of the team, you idiot.” Lach didn’t say anything more while he was apparently trying to process what Ethan was telling him. “Have you thought this through?”

Ethan held the phone away from his ear and stared at it, resisting the urge to throw the thing across the room. Did the man not hear what he was saying? Taking a moment and counting to ten, he waited a few more moments to make sure he was rational before trying again.

“Lach, you are not helping me here.” Ethan tried to formulate the correct words and said almost exactly what he’d said to Taryn hours ago. He walked over to the window and looked out into the night, scanning the parking lot. No one was around at this hour. “I don’t know why our relationship has suddenly changed. I can’t explain why I feel differently about her…all I know is that I dream about her every fucking night and when I look at her, I don’t see just a friend anymore. I see a partner in life, not just in the field. I see a lover in my bed. Fuck me. Crest is going to can my ass but good.”

If Taryn thought she was the only one who was dealing with the ramifications of his feelings, she was dead wrong. Ethan was also trying to cope with his actions this evening. Taryn physically throwing him out of her hotel room before they could discuss things didn’t help matters.

“Well, it’s been nice knowing you, buddy,” Lach stated with humor in his voice, making Ethan want to reach through the phone and strangle his friend.

“You suck, McKinnon.”

“Say Crest did fire you,” Lach said, leading Ethan down a trail of what ifs. “Would you have not done what you did tonight?”

“No,” Ethan answered honestly, conviction settling into him now. “I wouldn’t change the events of tonight. Taryn has somehow become the center of my world. Every morning I wake up and she’s the first person I think of. The entire day is spent thinking about whether or not she is okay. Nights…well, fuck me.”

“If you didn’t sound so goddamned defeated by this, I could get payback that the other guys have only ever dreamed about,” Lach murmured, letting Ethan know that he’d been a dick many times in the past when the other men had complications in their lives. He hadn’t comprehended the level of defeat they must have felt when their futures hung in the balance of another person’s hands. He thought of the lifestyle he’d come to love and how the submissives within the club held all the power with just one single word at the tip of their tongue. An image of Taryn, so strong and resilient, bound to his bed and at his mercy appeared in front of him. It caused Ethan to hang his head and rub his eyes. “Look, man, if you know without a doubt that you’d do the same thing over again…it wasn’t a mistake. Oh, now that I think about it, can I have your Roy Rogers cap gun paperweight since you’re gonna get canned anyway?”

Ethan felt his throat constrict when he went to voice his concerns. If it wasn’t a mistake, then why was there terror running through his veins at the thought of Taryn shutting him out for good? What if she decided that she didn’t feel the same way? He recalled what it felt like to have her in his arms and kiss her. She responded. The beat of her heart, her labored breathing, and the way her fingertips dug into her arms told him that she felt their connection.

“You’re right,” Ethan affirmed, confident in what had taken place. They both needed time to come to terms with the path their friendship had taken and he would damn well lead them down this new route to a better place. They would come out stronger. “Get some sleep. And keep your paws off my cap gun. I appreciate the talk, Devil Dog.”

Ethan disconnected the call as he walked over to the bed, sinking the mattress with his weight. He set his phone on the nightstand and then laid his head on the pillow. He was glad that he hadn’t gotten ahold of Crest in person and that he had to leave a message with a verbal SITREP of what they’d discovered over the course of the evening. He wouldn’t lie to his superior, but he was glad for the extra time he’d been given before he came clean with the events of what had transpired afterward. Taryn didn’t get to run from this. He’d supported her throughout the years and this was no different. He was here to stay.

*   *   *   *

Taryn threaded her Galco holster onto the SB6 holster belt around the waist of her denim jeans and pulled the light blue button down blouse over her weapon. It was noticeable, but it was the best she could do. The temperature was climbing into the eighties today and she’d be damned if she was wearing a jacket. She picked up her notes that she’d spent the night obtaining, but before she could peruse them once more a knock sounded on her door.

Her heart stopped briefly and then ramped up as if she’d still been out running this morning. She’d stuck to her routine and did her best to block out the events of last night. Ethan would eventually come around to reality, although he’d have to do that in Minneapolis. She’d been serious last night about him heading home. She wasn’t dealing with the case along with whatever mental hiccup that was causing his erratic behavior. It wasn’t happening and he should know that she wouldn’t budge on this.

Taryn quickly crossed the room and swung the door open, ready to give him her piece of mind when she saw him holding out a cup of coffee for her. His dimple was showing and his hazel eyes twinkled as if last night never existed. She closed her mouth and slowly took the offered drink, scrutinizing his behavior. It went both ways—knowing each other so well—and she wanted to throw the coffee in his face but couldn’t bring herself to burn his dimple off.

“I’ll drop you off at the airport.” Taryn turned back to where she’d tossed the papers onto the bed and swiped them up with her free hand. “When your sanity returns, give me a call.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Squid.” Ethan was leaning up against the wall when Taryn finally spun around to address his absurdity. “I don’t regret kissing you last night. I have full confidence that you’ll see that we are meant to be more than friends. In the meantime, let’s figure out who Madeline is so that we can get our asses back to Minny and deal with us.”

“There is no
us
, Ethan.”

“Then you felt nothing when I kissed you. Is that what you’re saying?”

Taryn once again was speechless, which was a little degrading since that never happened and he’d been the cause twice in two days. One of the things she adored about Ethan was his honesty, but couldn’t he see that he wasn’t being honest with himself? This wasn’t going to work out the way he wanted it to. If she were truthful with herself, then yes, her body had responded to him in a way that she never would have thought possible. That didn’t mean totally changing their relationship was a good thing.

“What I’m saying is that I’m dropping you off at the airport,” Taryn replied, standing her ground because if she didn’t she’d fall apart, and that wasn’t allowed. Couldn’t he see he was taking away her lifeline?
He
was her lifeline and now he wanted to be something else. “I have work to do.”

“I know we do, but we’re not leaving here until you answer my question.” Ethan straightened from the wall and held onto his cup as he invaded her space. Taryn wasn’t tall, but as he’d already stated, she wasn’t the type of woman to back down. She tilted her head up to meet his gaze and couldn’t stop the trail of electricity that shot through her. He’d made her view him differently and another tidal wave of anger engulfed her. “Did our kiss affect you in any way?”

“Yes,” Taryn said, practically hissing the word and wishing her boots had a higher heel. “Are you satisfied? Because I’m sure as hell not. What the hell made you decide this now? For that matter, what made you decide to do this at all? I know there are times where you don’t think through your actions, but damn it Ethan, this is our friendship that you’re ruining. Can’t you see that?”

“What I see is
my
partner Taryn, not the imposter who wants to send me away so she doesn’t have to face something new and arousing.” Ethan leaned down and tenderly kissed Taryn’s forehead, which agitated her even more. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry over his confusing behavior. “Now, what did you find out about Madeline?”

Taryn drew in a shaky breath, trying to decide if she should still make Ethan leave. Unfortunately she wanted him to stay more than anything. The war that raged inside of her was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. As if knowing she couldn’t take any more, he used his one free arm to bring her close to him and hold her like he used to…when things had been normal. She laid her cheek against his chest, and while the comfort he was giving her seemed familiar, she couldn’t prevent her body from responding like it had last night. For just a few more seconds, she cherished the familiarity all the while resigning herself to shelving this—she refused to call it an awakening—thing until she could mentally deal it. Ethan would eventually come around to admitting he’d made a mistake. She had to believe that. If they’d been closer to fifty years old, maybe she could have chalked it up to a mid-life crisis. Could one have those at thirty?

“Madeline Bowers.” Taryn pulled away and held up the notes that she’d taken last night. She did her best to concentrate on their task at hand. “Best friend to Aunt Lisa throughout high school and into college. She married an older man fifteen years her senior. His name was Charles Bowers, an oil tycoon that was stabbed to death twelve years ago.”

“Twelve years ago?” Ethan asked raising his eyebrow like he did. Taryn had to look away, for she found it attractive in a way that she wouldn’t have before. She looked back down at the handwritten papers. “Yvette was murdered two years ago, but she came into existence ten years prior to that. Is Charles Bowers the reason Yvette stopped in Houston back then?”

“There’s only one way to find out,” Taryn said, feeling productive and finally back on some even ground. She thought about addressing what happened between them one more time, but decided against it. It wouldn’t help matters and would only cause her more confusion. “We’re going to go speak with Charles Bowers’ brother, Arthur Bowers.”

“Why not Madeline?” Ethan followed her to the door, swiping her cardkey up from the cabinet that the television sat on and handing it to her.

“Madeline Bowers died in a car accident nine years ago.”

Chapter Nine