B01EU62FUC (R) (3 page)

He locked the door behind him and pulled her into his arms. “Marriage feels just like kissing does.”

“Hmm. I’ve only ever really kissed two men. One made me feel dirty, and the other made me feel like I was flying.”

“What? You’ve only kissed Curtis and me?” How could that be true?

“I kissed a few others for shows, but I never meant it when I kissed them.” And there had never been any acting involved when it came to kissing Jesse.

“And I’m the one who makes you feel like you’re flying? Well, I wouldn’t mind if my kisses made you feel a little dirty.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.

“No, your kisses don’t make me feel dirty. Curtis’s made me want to go use Listerine.”

“Why?” He’d known there were problems in her relationship. He’d seen them in the early days of their friendship when she’d often invited him to spend time with them. The last three years, he hadn’t seen them together much.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. When you kiss me, I can’t think. My knees turn to mush, and my brain goes on vacation. That’s why I’m always messing up kissing scenes.”

“Aww. I was hoping you messed them up so we could have fun refilming them.”

She grinned at that. “No, you’re the one who does that.” Shaking her head, she tried to explain. “When Curtis kissed me, my mind didn’t shut off. I had to think about where to put my hands and what to do. And he always called me frigid.”

“Is that where Valerie the Virgin came from?” he asked.

Valerie made a face. “No. That was my mess up. In my first interview after I was cast as Jo, somehow my morals came into it, and I said I was going to stay a virgin until I married. So I became Valerie the Virgin. Do you have any idea how sick I am of being called Valerie the Virgin?”

He grinned at her. “Don’t worry. After tonight, it won’t be accurate at all.”

She backed up until her shoulders were against a wall, and he slowly walked toward her, kissing her as he pressed her against it even more. “Why does my brain turn to mush every time you touch me?” she asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m glad it does!” He kissed her once more before scooping her up and carrying her into the bedroom.

“I need to shave first,” she told him, blushing slightly. It was winter, and they filmed cool weather scenes. There’d been no need for her to shave her legs. She couldn’t let him see or worse
touch
them the way they were!

He sighed. “Do you really think I care?”

“Whether you do or not, I do. I don’t want to make love to my husband for the first time with hairy legs.” She didn’t mention her armpits, because she thought it would be indelicate, but they needed a good shaving as well.

“Okay. How about I order room service while you shave?” How long did it take a woman to shave anyway? “Will you be long?”

“Probably about thirty minutes.” She hadn’t had anything sexy to wear for him, so she’d borrowed something from Amber, the girl who played her sister, MaryBeth.

“I’ll let you know when room service has left,” he told her.

She nodded, rushing into the bathroom to take care of her unsightly hair.

Forty-five minutes later, she was standing in the bathroom in a long silky pink nightgown with spaghetti straps. She was freshly shaven, and her hair was brushed into silky waves around her shoulders.

She jumped at his knock. “Yeah!”

“Food’s here. You can quit hiding.”

She sighed, pulling the bathrobe from the back of the bathroom door. He was right. She
was
hiding.

She opened the door to find him leaning against the opposite wall with his arms folded against his chest, watching her every move. “What did you order?” she asked, tying the belt more tightly around her waist.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

She shook her head. Really the bathrobe made her a little too hot, but she didn’t want to tell him that.

He walked to her and untied the knot of the robe, pushing it off her shoulders. “There’s no need to hide your body from me.”

She blushed, embarrassed he’d seen through her ruse, but of course he had. He knew her like no one else did. Except maybe Amber. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I understand.” He took her hand and led her into the living area, doing his best not to stare at her body in the thin nightgown. All he wanted to do was look at her, but he knew she would be embarrassed. He’d have to tread lightly.

“I got you a chicken club sandwich and french fries.”

“Oh, that sounds good, but we’ll have to find the gym to work it off tomorrow.”

He grinned at her, his gaze meeting hers. “I can think of other ways to work it off that will be a lot more fun for both of us.”

“Jesse!” She shook her head, not sure if she should be amused or embarrassed by his words. She took a seat on the couch and put her plate in her lap. He sat beside her, picking up his own burger and fries.

He talked about their script for the following week as they ate. “The scene with Justin is going to be awkward.”

Justin was the man who played the part of Bob, her foreman. He’d been coming onto Jo for two seasons, and she had shut him down time and again. In the show they’d film next, he would bring her a bottle of champagne and try to have a romantic picnic with her. Dylan would interrupt, and there would be sparks between the main characters.

“The fans really want our characters to just marry already,” Valerie said, shaking her head. “I know the producers and writers are worried that we’ll lose all of our viewers if we don’t have the sexual tension anymore, but I think they’re wrong. We could have a lot of fun with married characters.”

He nodded. “Yeah. It could be interesting.”

“You act like you don’t care. You’ve always had an opinion about what they write into the show.”

“I wanted them to write a love scene for us, so I could act it out. Now that I get it in real life, I don’t need it quite so much.”

She shook her head at him. “What’s wrong with you?”

He shrugged. “Nothing that a lifetime making love with you won’t fix.”

“You know you don’t have to act like you’ve been thinking about us getting married for a while. I appreciate you giving up your freedom for me.”

He chuckled. “I wouldn’t just give up my freedom for anyone without thinking about it long and hard. Do you really think the first time I thought about marrying you was in your trailer this afternoon?”

She looked at him with wide eyes. “Of course it was. You knew I was dating Curtis.”

“I always knew Curtis was the wrong man for you.”

“And you thought you were the right man?”

He nodded slowly. “I knew I was. I just didn’t know how to get you to see it. I didn’t want to be the one to force you to break it off with him.”

“I—really? You didn’t think we were right for each other?” She hadn’t realized others could see so plainly what she’d always known.

He shook his head. “I’d seen you kiss him. I knew how your face looked after we’d kissed. No, I didn’t think you were right for each other. I honestly thought he was mean to you.”

She sighed. “He was. I didn’t know how to break it off, though.”

“When did you start dating him?” He realized then he didn’t know how she’d ended up with the man to begin with. He’d always known they were badly mismatched, but she must have seen something in him at one point.

“High school. I’ve known him my whole life.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to stay with him.”

“I’ve been trying to break it off for a while, but every time I tried, he’d start throwing things or threatening me. I didn’t know what to do.” As soon as the words were out, she regretted them. She’d never meant to tell him so much about her failed relationship with Curtis.

Jesse put his empty plate down and turned to her. “Why didn’t you tell me? You know I’d have helped you.”

Valerie nodded. “I did know, but I knew he hated you more than anyone else on the planet, so I didn’t think it would be a good idea.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re free of him now.”

She set her plate on top of his, turning to him fully. “Me too.”

He reached out to her, pulling her against his side, her head on his shoulder. His left hand stroked up and down her arm as he just cuddled her close. “Would you have married me today if not for the worry about what the tabloids would print?”

She thought about his question for a long moment and finally shook her head. “No, I don’t think I would have. It’s not that I don’t care about you. You know I do. I wouldn’t have tied you to me forever, though.”

“I called a couple of the tabloid rags while you were bathing. Told them we’re married. I’m sure our news will hit well before his does.”

“Really?” She didn’t know why it mattered so much, but it did. She was sick of being laughed at for her morals.

He nodded. “I even sent them a picture of the marriage certificate. There will be no doubt in anyone’s mind who broke up with whom and why.”

She let out a sigh of relief. She hadn’t even realized she was still so worried about it, but she was. “Thank you.”

“I would do anything for you.”

“Let’s go to bed,” she whispered, barely able to get the words out. As nervous as she was about the first time, he deserved it. He’d come to her rescue in more ways than one that day, and it was the only way she knew of to thank him for what he’d done.

He stood, taking her hand and helping her to her feet before leading her to the bedroom. His palm was sweaty. He couldn’t believe how nervous he was. Was it because it was her first time? Or just because it was her? Valerie had filled his thoughts since their audition together more than four years before.

They stood together at the foot of the bed, and he reached out to her, pulling her to him by the shoulders. One of his hands went to her chin, and he tipped her face up to his. He slowly lowered his lips to hers, his tongue carefully tracing the outline of her bottom lip.

Valerie felt as if her heart was about to pound right out of her chest. She felt so much for this man, but was it all physical? What was she doing standing here in front of him in just a nightgown, about to get into bed with him, when she wasn’t sure what she felt for him? They may be married, but was it right for her to have sex with a man she didn’t love?

She clung to his shoulders as he kissed her, wanting more than just a physical relationship with him. Could they build love on a foundation of sexual desire?

Pulling back, she stared up into his eyes. “I—I don’t want to make you angry, but I don’t think I can do this just yet.”

Jesse closed his eyes, trying to rein in his turbulent emotions. He was so aroused, he wanted nothing more than to make love with her, but not if she didn’t feel ready. “Do you want to wait?” He had to force the words out, around a closed throat.
Please say, “no”.

“Would you hate me if I said yes?”

He shook his head. “No, of course not. If you don’t think we’re ready for this, we should wait.” He wanted to kick himself for his words, but he knew it was the right thing for her. She’d been raised differently than anyone he knew, and her morals wouldn’t be compromised for anyone.

“Really? You’re not mad?” She couldn’t bear it if he was upset with her.

He smiled, leaning down and kissing her once more. “I’m not mad. A little disappointed maybe, but I’m not going to rush you. We have the rest of our lives. When it feels right, it’ll happen.” He shrugged. “Well, I thought it felt right four years ago, but you didn’t. But soon you’ll think it’s right too.”

“You’re more sure of me than I am.” She wrapped both arms around his waist and clung to him. “What did I ever do to deserve someone as understanding as you are in my life?”

He chuckled softly. “I don’t know…you have to have done
something
good.”

She made a face at him. “It’s after midnight. Which means it’s after two in the morning Texas time. No wonder I’m so tired.” She looked at the bed and frowned. “Do you want me to sleep on the couch?”

He shook his head. “No need. It’s a big bed.” He stepped back and unbuttoned his shirt.

She watched him remove his shirt with her eyes wide. She’d seen him without a shirt on dozens of times, because they’d had to film scenes with him working that way more than once in the past. It was just so
intimate
now.

When she realized he was watching her watch him, she rushed to the bed and slid under the covers. “Are you sure you want to share? It won’t bother you?”

He laughed. “You’ve bothered me since the day we met, but it won’t bother me anymore than kissing you for the show every week does.”
Besides, if we’re sleeping together, I have a better chance of convincing you that we’re meant to be together…and talking you into everything else I want to do to you.
He watched her hide from him under the covers as he threw his shirt to the floor and unbuttoned his pants. He wouldn’t strip all the way, but he wasn’t about to sleep in his pants to avoid offending her.

When he was wearing just his underwear, he slipped into bed beside her, reaching out a hand to shut off the lamp before pulling her against him.

At first she resisted, feeling like it was wrong to be touching him when he wore nothing, but she reminded herself that it was Jesse and relaxed against him. “You’re so warm.”

He smiled, kissing the top of her head. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Right now it’s good.” She snuggled a bit closer, feeling his heat seep through her body. “I think I like this.”

“I know I do.” He tilted her chin up and kissed her one last time. “G’night, Valerie.”
I love you.
He couldn’t say the words that were on the tip of his tongue. He couldn’t make her feel like she needed to say them back, when he knew she hadn’t had enough time away from Curtis to have any idea of her feelings for him.

She rested her head against his shoulder, feeling safe for the first time in years. “G’night, Jesse. Thank you.”

He hated that she thanked him for manipulating her into doing what he wanted. Gathering her closer, he closed his eyes, thankful to finally have her sleeping in his arms, even if he was going to be uncomfortable.