B01EU62FUC (R) (5 page)

“I’m not.” His words were soft, but she could hear the emotion beneath them. He would always have her back.

Valerie smiled at that. “I’m glad. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him.”

“Are you worried he’s going to hurt you?”

She thought about that for a moment, unsure how to respond. “As long as you’re with me, I’m not afraid. I don’t want to be alone.”

“So when we get back to Texas, I’ll make sure you’re never alone. No hardship there.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, making her laugh.

“I think that’s what I like best about you. You can make me laugh.”

He smiled, stroking her arm and pulling her to his side. “Finish your story. How did you end up still dating him when you got to Hollywood four years ago?”

She shrugged. “I’m honestly not sure. When we were about to graduate, I said I was moving to Hollywood to pursue a career in acting. I was sure he’d stay in Iowa. His family has run this funeral parlor for generations, and he was always planning to take it over.”

“Funeral parlor? Seems fitting.”

She shook her head, stifling a giggle. “You’re bad!”

“You like me when I’m bad.”

She couldn’t respond to that remark, so she continued her story. “Anyway, he said he was coming too. His degree was in business, so he said he was going to be my manager.” She shuddered. “I told him I wouldn’t have need of a manager for a very long time. I was sure I’d be waiting tables for years, waiting for my big break.”

“How long were you there before you auditioned for Jo?”

She laughed. “Two weeks. I think I’d still be waiting tables if we hadn’t auditioned together that day. I still watch some of our shows in awe. You have so much raw passion when you act. You make me look good.”

He shook his head. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“It’s not me.”

Valerie frowned. “Well, it’s not me. My chemistry with Bob on the show is awful.”

“It’s us, Val. Neither of us has what it takes alone. When we’re together, everything is pure magic.” Jesse pulled her onto his lap, straddling him, knowing he could see into her eyes as he talked to her that way. “I heard what you said to Curtis when you were fighting yesterday. He said he could feel the ice forming on your lips when he kissed you. And you said, ‘Because I don’t have any passion for you, Curtis.’ Does that mean you feel passion for me?”

She nodded. “I do. I know I shouldn’t, but I
do
. I always have.”

He cupped her face in his hands. “Why shouldn’t you?”

“Because it means I’m being unfaithful to Curtis.” She shook her head. “I should never be unfaithful.” Why did she still feel a need to be faithful to a man she’d never had feelings for?

“Did you ever agree to go out with him? Did you ever agree to let him kiss you? Or did he just do those things, because they were what
he
wanted.” He knew then he could never take the choice from her about anything. She had to be in control of her own destiny, whether he felt like he knew what was right for her or not.

She shrugged. “He just did them, but I was his girl.”

“Why were you his girl? Did you ever
want
to be his girl? Or did you just do it because you thought you were supposed to?”

“No, I never had any feelings for him. He made me think—well, he told me I had a heart of ice so often, I believed it. He was always calling me the ice queen.” It still hurt to think about it.

“You don’t have a heart of ice, Valerie. You are the most passionate woman I know.”

She looked away, over his shoulder at the wall behind him. “Only with you,” she mumbled, her voice barely loud enough for him to hear.

He gathered her close and simply held on to her. She told him exactly what he needed to hear. She was his, whether she knew it yet or not. “When did he start hitting you?”

She closed her eyes, not wanting to continue her story. “Can we talk about something else?”

He shook his head. “Not yet. Not until I know everything. I need to be able to protect you.”

“What if I want to be able to protect myself?” She never wanted to feel as helpless as she’d felt with Curtis again.

“Then you need to start carrying a gun. Have you considered a concealed handgun course? We spend most of the year in Texas, and handguns are legal there.”

“I couldn’t shoot anyone.”

Jesse sighed. “Then we’re back to me protecting you, aren’t we?”

“Maybe I could take a self-defense course?”

“Curtis is six-four. He’s a bear of a man. You’re barely five feet. I don’t care how good you become at self-defense. Unless you get a good kick to the balls in, you’re not going to be able to protect yourself against him.” He pushed her back by her shoulders, looking into her eyes again. “Finish the story.”

“The first time he hit me was the day I auditioned for Jo. He was with me, as he always was. Do you remember in the first season when the producers made the rule that no one could be on set during filming? I asked them to.” She shook her head. “Anyway, he watched our audition. He watched us act together, and then they made us kiss, remember?” The kiss hadn’t been part of the scene, but they’d needed to see if the two of them had chemistry before they were cast.

How could he forget? It was the first time he’d kissed her, and he’d known then he’d never want another woman for as long as he lived. “I do remember.”

“He said that everyone could see the passion between us. That after we kissed, you walked away with—” She blushed and looked at the wall behind him.

“He said I walked away with an erection?” At her nod, he continued. “He was right. Any other woman could dance naked for me, and I wouldn’t be as turned on as I get every time I kiss you. I don’t care if it’s a passionate kiss or just a simple one. I kiss you, and my body is on fire. Hell, I don’t even have to kiss you. All I have to do is be in the same room with you, and I’m ready to throw you on the nearest hard surface and make love with you.”

“I—I don’t know what to say to that.” Except that he made her feel the same way. She’d left that audition with an unfamiliar tightness in her nipples. She’d been truly aroused for the first time in her life.

“He hit you because you turned me on?” Jesse asked, wanting to hunt the other man down and kill him on the spot.

She shook her head. “No, he hit me because
you
turned
me
on. I was wearing a thin top, and he could see that my nipples were erect. No matter how many times we’d kissed over the years, that had never happened with him. I never lost my breath when I kissed him. I just look at you, and my breathing becomes labored. He hated me for that.”

“You couldn’t help your reaction to me anymore than you could fake a reaction to him.”

She shrugged. “I told him I only reacted that way because I was acting. That I was good.” She laughed. “He didn’t buy it for even a second. He said no one is that good.”

“Why did you stay with him after he hit you?”

“I didn’t know how to get away. I thought about getting a restraining order, but I knew he’d still hurt me. He knows my family. What if he hurts my mom? Or my sister?”

Jesse closed his eyes. “Have you phoned your mom and told her what happened?” He was just starting to realize that it wasn’t simply the two of them who needed to be protected.

She shook her head. “It just occurred to me. I’ve been so wrapped up thinking about you and this new marriage of ours. I should have called her last night. What is wrong with me?”

“Valerie, it’s not your job to protect the world. I do think you should call her, though.” He reached over and took her phone from the end table, putting it in her hand. “Call her.”

When she went to get off his lap, he put his hands on her thighs, keeping her in place. “No, I like having you there.”

She blushed. “I like it too. Too much, I’m afraid.” She quickly tapped her mother’s name on her phone and put it to her ear. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, Valerie! How’s Texas?”

“Well, actually I’m not in Texas right now. I’m in Vegas.”

“What are you doing in Vegas? You should have let me know. Rikki and I would have met you there.” Rikki was Valerie’s younger sister. Their dad had left when they were young, and her mother had raised them on her own.

Valerie smiled at that. “I don’t think that would have worked out, Mom. Most people don’t take their families on their honeymoons.”

There was a long pause. “You married Curtis?”

Valerie bit her lip. She didn’t want to have to admit to her mother that she’d broken up with her best friend’s son. “Actually no. I married Jesse.”

“Your co-star? Really?” The excitement in her mother’s voice shocked Valerie.

“Yeah.”

“Does Curtis know?” There was fear in her mother’s voice. Did she know more than she’d let on?

“No. I broke up with Curtis, but he didn’t know I was marrying Jesse.”

“He called today.”

Valerie closed her eyes, not wanting to know more, but needing to ask. “What did he want?”

“He told me you two had a fight, and he needed to find some way to make it up to you. He asked what your favorite flower is.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him that since you’d been dating for eight years, he should know the answer to that better than I do.” There was a pause. “I’m glad you broke it off with him. He wasn’t good for you.”

“No, he wasn’t. How did you know?”

Her mother’s laugh was bitter. “Carol told me. His dad was just like him.”

“I didn’t know.” Valerie was unsure how to respond to that. Her mother had known he was abusive and said nothing to her?

“There was no way for you to know. We didn’t want to come between you, but we’ve both been watching you when you came home. Worrying he’d hit you.”

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“Did he hit you?”

Valerie closed her eyes. She wished her mother had asked her that question four years before. Maybe she’d have been bolder about getting out of the situation with her mom at her side. “I’m a strong woman, Mom. I’ll be fine.” Her eyes met Jesse’s, and she could see the sadness in them.

“Well, I’m happy you married Jesse. I could see from the moment you two were on my TV screen you were perfect for each other.”

Valerie smiled at that. “He’s a good man.”

“I know he is. You can almost touch the emotion between you two.”

“Be careful, Mom. I’m afraid that when Curtis finds out I married, he’s going to come after you. Or Rikki.”

“I’m going to go to the police station first thing on Monday morning and take out a restraining order.”

“Thank you.”

“Will Jesse protect you?”

“Yeah, Jesse won’t let him hurt me.”

Jesse took the phone from her hand. “Ms. Dobson? This is Jesse. I won’t let anything happen to Valerie. You just watch out for yourself. Don’t wait to get that restraining order. Go to the police station today. Better yet, come to Texas for a while. We’d love to have you as our guests on the set.”

Valerie couldn’t hear her mother’s response.

“I understand that. Just be careful. Yes, Valerie and I will visit as soon as we get a break in our schedules.”

He pushed the end button and handed the phone back to her. “How worried are you that he’ll hurt your family?”

She shrugged. “I’m glad you told her to go to the police station today. I don’t think he’ll waste his money flying back to Iowa to see them, but you never can tell. He’s crazy.”

“Would you feel better if we put off filming for a while to go there and be with them?”

“We can’t do that.”

He shrugged. “We’re the stars. We can do what we want. It’s probably not a good idea, though. I don’t want to put the whole show behind schedule.”

“I’m sure Mom will go to the police today. She won’t let anything happen to Rikki.”

“How old is Rikki now?”

“Twenty. And she thinks you’re the hottest man on the planet. She asks me every time we talk what it’s like to kiss you.” She winked at him, letting him know she thought her sister’s crush was amusing.

Jesse raised an eyebrow. “And what do you tell her?”

“That it feels better than chocolate tastes.”

He grinned. “I’ve seen you with a pint of chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup on top. There’s nothing you like more than chocolate.”

Valerie leaned forward, bringing their torsos together, and she kissed him. “Except kissing you. I could never eat another bite of chocolate, but I think I’d die without your kisses.”

“Now that’s some high praise. You make me think you mean it.”

“I do. Truly. I’ve never meant anything the way I mean this.”

He grabbed her hips and pulled them into direct contact with his. Groaning, he pulled her head down for another kiss, his tongue making quick work of her mouth.

She moved her hands to the hem of his T-shirt, and moved them up under it, rubbing her hands over his bare chest. She wanted nothing more than she wanted to strip him and explore his body, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to do anything beyond that, so she said nothing.

He caught the hem of his shirt with his hands and pulled it over his head, releasing her lips just long enough to get it off and onto the floor.

Valerie was thrilled to have his entire bare torso to explore with her finger tips, and she tore her lips from his, kissing a path down his shoulder.

Jesse leaned his head back on the couch and held her lightly by the hips, not making any moves to frighten her, but enjoying her touch. “You make me feel so powerless.”

She touched her tongue to his bare shoulder, tasting the saltiness of his skin. “Powerless?”

He nodded. “Every time you touch me, my legs go weak. I want you with everything inside of me, and I love every second of it.”

She smiled at that. “You’ve got an amazing body.” He wasn’t nearly as tall as Curtis, but his body was pure muscle. She loved to touch him. “I like how you taste.” She touched her tongue to him again, swirling it around against his skin.

“You’re killing me, Val. I want to drag you off to bed and make love to you until neither of us can ever move again.”

She froze at his words, sitting up straight on his lap. “I—I’m not ready for that.”