Baby Experts 02 (14 page)

Emily knew she couldn’t fix Jared’s past. She could only concentrate on their future.

“Dr. Madison.
You
are recommending cheese fries?” she joked, letting the past float away…for now.

“Not exactly. But everyone deserves a treat once in a while.” He leaned toward her and gave her a long, sensual kiss. “I can’t wait until later,” he muttered against her lips.

She couldn’t, either. She just wished later would bring words of love. She just wished later would bring the promise of a future.

The following day, Gloria carried a plate of tuna salad and carrot sticks to the table as Emily sliced a loaf of bakery bread. The twins were already at their places drinking glasses of milk.

“In another week or so,” Gloria said, “I’ll be able to do all of this myself. Have you thought about what
you’re
going to do?”

Emily had made up her mind. “I’d like to become a midwife again. When I delivered Patti’s baby, even though conditions were less than ideal, all the excitement and
sense of accomplishment came rushing back. I’m just not sure in what capacity I want to do it.”

“You mean home births or hospital births?”

“Yes. I was thinking of submitting a proposal to Lubbock General, maybe initiating a midwife program there.”

“Have you talked this over with Jared?”

“I’m still ironing out details in my mind. I think I’d like to write up a proposal, then run it by him.”

“Because you’re an independent woman of the new millennium,” Gloria teased.

Emily laughed. “I guess so.”

Emily’s cell phone began playing a tune inside her purse. She’d slung it onto the counter when she returned from picking up Gloria from her physical therapy appointment. Now she unzipped the shoulder bag and grabbed her phone, hoping to see Jared’s number. He often called just to check up on how his mother and the twins were doing. She was surprised to see
Richard’s
phone number.

“Go ahead and eat,” she told Gloria and the girls as she walked into the great room and opened her phone, greeting her ex-husband as cordially as she could.

“Can you talk?” he asked.

“Yes,” she answered hesitantly.

“I’m in Lubbock and I need to see you. Can you meet me somewhere?”

“You’re in Lubbock?”

“I had business. Our radio station is expanding and we’re thinking about buying out a broadcasting station here. This trip was a chance to kill both birds with one stone.”

“Can’t you just tell me what you need on the phone?”

“No. There are a couple of things I need to discuss with you and I’d rather do it in person. Can you get away?”

“Where?”

“There’s a restaurant downtown called Charlie’s Chuck-wagon. Do you know it?”

She and Tessa and Francesca had enjoyed dinner there a few times. They liked the rustic cowboy atmosphere. “I know it.”

“Can you be there in an hour? I’ll even buy you lunch. I can put it on my expense account.”

Emily’s mind was clicking fast. She didn’t want to meet her ex-husband. She had the feeling he wanted to talk about finances again. He always did. But if she didn’t meet with him, she’d be postponing the inevitable. “Hold on a minute, Richard. I have to check something.”

Walking back into the kitchen, she asked Gloria, “Do you think you’d be all right here with Courtney and Amy for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half? I can take my cell phone and if you need me, I can be back here in ten minutes. But if you’re not comfortable with being alone with the girls, just say so and I’ll postpone this.”

Gloria didn’t hesitate. “I’ll be fine, Emily. We’ll read books, do some coloring. You go ahead and meet whoever it is you have to meet.”

Emily returned to the great room and the phone. “Instead of Charlie’s, can you meet me at the Blue Bonnet Café on Eighty-second Street?”

“That’s not anywhere near the hotel or radio station,” he grumbled.

“I have responsibilities, Richard. I can’t be gone long or go far away.”

“All right. In an hour at the Blue Bonnet Café. At least I don’t have to travel the whole way to Sagebrush. That’s not anywhere near the Family Tree Health Center. Aren’t you still working there?”

“No, I’m not. I’m doing something else temporarily.”

“Are you telling me you don’t have a permanent job?”

From the sound of Richard’s voice, this was definitely about finances.

“We’ll talk when I see you.” Emily closed her phone, went back to the kitchen and dropped it into her purse.

“A problem?” Gloria asked.

Although Emily would like to confide in Jared’s mother, she didn’t want to pull her into her personal baggage. This was something she had to take care of. Since she didn’t know what Richard wanted, there was nothing to confide.

“No, no problem.” She took her place at the table and asked Amy and Courtney, “How’s the tuna fish?” They both grinned and bobbed their heads up and down.

Emily wished with all of her heart that these two little girls were hers…that Jared’s mother was really family.

But she knew too well that wishes often didn’t come true. She just hoped Richard didn’t have a land mine to drop on her road to happiness.

She’d find out in an hour.

J
ared knew Emily would soon be leaving, and he didn’t know what to do about it.

He’d finished with his scheduled delivery earlier than planned, and decided to come home to surprise Emily and the girls. He missed Emily when he was away from her. He found her irresistible. And the chemistry he had with her was different than any he’d experienced in his life so far.

Did he just want to continue their affair? Meet her at her house? Snatch time away at a B and B? Although when he was with her he felt happier than he’d been in years, at other times he was filled with conflict and turmoil. He couldn’t help remembering how his mother had deceived his father. He couldn’t help reliving how Valerie had resented his profession—the arguments over the late night calls, social plans that crumbled because he’d left for the hospital. Although they’d gotten a divorce, he’d thought
they’d kept some measure of a relationship because of their daughters. Yet she hadn’t trusted him. She’d gone away and died…alone.

As Jared crossed the kitchen he expected to hear Emily’s voice, along with Amy’s and Courtney’s. Instead, however, he found his mother sitting on the sofa with a coloring book on her lap. Amy and Courtney were kneeling at the coffee table, drawing with crayons.

Maybe Emily was straightening up the twins’ room.

“Daddy, you’re home,” Courtney cried, running to him and tugging on his arm. “See the picture I drawed of Grandma.”

Amy grinned at him and came to him, reaching up for a hug. He lifted first one daughter to the ceiling, making her giggle, then the other.

When he turned to his mother, she was smiling at him.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re a good dad,” she said simply.

The compliment took him off guard. They rarely stepped into personal conversational territory. They seemed to be doing that more. “I try. There just aren’t enough hours in a day.”

“As long as you give them attention and affection when you
are
with them, that’s what is important.”

Was that true? Emily had once said something similar. He imagined all single parents felt guilty for the balancing act they had to do between work and their personal lives.

Speaking of his personal life…“Is Emily in the twins’ room?”

“No, she’s not.” His mother checked her watch. “She left about half an hour ago. She had an errand to run.”

“She left you alone with Amy and Courtney?”

His mother shrugged. “Look at me, Jared. Yes, I’m using a cane. But I’m almost my old self.”

He was disappointed Emily would do this. Had he been so blinded by the chemistry he hadn’t seen the side of her that would let responsibility slide? “If you had fallen, or something had happened to one of the twins—”

“Jared,” his mother cut in. “She said she’d only be gone an hour.”

“What was so important she couldn’t wait until I got home?”

He thought about how Emily handled her patients, how she conducted the rest of her life. This really seemed to be a departure.

“She received a call and asked if I would mind if she went out for a little while. I said that was fine.”

“A call about a job maybe?” he wondered.

Amy plucked at his shirtsleeve. “She talked to Richard.” His daughter looked totally proud of herself that she could supply an answer for him.

But the information made Jared’s blood run cold. Richard. Her ex-husband. Why would she be meeting him? Why would Richard be in Lubbock? Why wasn’t a phone call good enough if they had something to discuss?

Could her ex-husband realize how much he’d given up in letting her leave? Emily was an intelligent, beautiful, sensual woman. Why would
any
man let her go? If this meeting wasn’t a secret, then why not tell his mother about it? Why not tell
him?
Her husband lived in Corpus Christi. It couldn’t be spur-of-the-moment. Could it?

Just what did this meeting
mean?

Emily took a sip of her coffee then returned her gaze to her ex-husband and asked bluntly, “So why did we have to meet face-to-face?”

He’d spent the last fifteen minutes explaining how his radio station was expanding…how Lubbock wasn’t the only addition his company wanted to make to their empire. But she’d had enough of his business talk. She needed to get back to Gloria and the twins.

“I’m in a bind.”

“A financial bind?” she clarified.

“Yes.” His cheeks reddened a little.

She’d always thought Richard handsome. He was five-ten, with light brown hair kept neatly cropped and brown eyes that once had sparkled with interest in her. But now she knew she meant nothing to him except a means to an end. Maybe that’s all she’d ever been. He’d looked at his life, decided he needed a wife just as he’d needed a new car or a house in a more prestigious neighborhood. Maybe she had been a rung on a ladder.

“Selling the painting wasn’t enough?”

“Not nearly,” he admitted. “We were paying interest-only on our mortgage and with property values going down, I can’t sell for a profit.”

He’d loved their house. More than she had. When he’d asked her for a divorce, she’d moved out and found an apartment. He’d stayed. In the divorce proceedings, she’d discovered they’d had almost no equity in the house.
She
certainly hadn’t been able to handle the mortgage payments. Since he’d raided his pension to cover her legal bills, she’d thought it only fair he keep the house.

“What else have you bought?” she asked, knowing he’d been able to cover the mortgage payments quite comfortably before.

He averted his gaze from hers, concentrated on the sandwich in front of him, popped a few chips into his mouth. He shrugged. “I bought a Corvette after you left.”

“A Corvette?”

“I’d always wanted one. With you gone, it was a chick magnet.”

He’d gone into debt over a chick magnet. “Anything else?”

“This is not about what I bought or didn’t buy,” he answered angrily. “I helped you when you were in a tough spot. Now I need you to help me.”

The guilt card. He’d always played it to his advantage and it had always worked. “I could possibly send you fifty dollars more a month. But I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m thinking about becoming a midwife again.”

“You
are
kidding.”

“No. Why shouldn’t I?” Her chin went up and she knew she sounded defensive but couldn’t help it.

“Look what happened the last time! Who’s going to bail you out now if you get into trouble again?”

Get into trouble again?
That’s how he saw a child dying on her watch? “Apparently, you still don’t understand that there was nothing I could do to prevent that stillbirth. It was
not
my fault.”

“Yeah, that’s what the jury said. But you thought differently, didn’t you? You had doubts.”

“Maybe I had doubts because you didn’t believe in me. Maybe if you had believed in me, I would have believed in myself.” She’d never said this to him before and maybe it was time it came out.

“My believing in you, or not believing in you, wouldn’t have changed anything. You still would have had legal bills to take care of, and that’s what this is about. I need that money back. Now.”

“I can’t give it to you
now.
Do you still have the boat?”

His brows drew together. “Yes, I have the boat.”

“So that means you still have all the marina fees and the
repair bills.” She’d never complained about his toys, but she knew what it cost to keep them.

“So?”

“I did help you pay for that boat. Why don’t you sell it?”

“Are you kidding? I take clients out on that boat. I bring in advertising dollars with that boat.”

She sighed. “Richard, I
will
pay you back in time. But when I left Corpus Christi, I left with nothing. I didn’t want anything. I was grateful to you for helping me out, so I thought you deserved it all. And that included the boat.”

Maybe he realized she was finally going to stand up for herself. “Fifty dollars a month is all you can manage? Not a lump sum?”

“Fifty dollars a month.”

He was quiet for a while. Finally, he sighed. “I suppose I could just take advertisers to my club.”

Richard belonged to a private men’s club where he exercised and played racquetball. He also played poker on weekends.

“Unless you want to give up that membership fee,” she suggested, knowing it was a hefty one.

With a look of reluctant resignation, he took a paper out from inside his jacket and laid it on the table. “I suspected I’d have to do this. Your name’s on the boat. Will you sign this so I can sell it?”

She hadn’t made nearly as much as he had. But ever since she’d started working, she’d tucked savings away each month—for a baby someday she’d always thought. But then he’d wanted to buy the boat and it had seemed important to him, so she’d given him those savings and he’d put her name on the title.

She suddenly realized she was at peace about her failed marriage. To Richard, everything had always been about
status. She’d left him the house, the boat and his standard of living. Yes, she owed him a debt, and she was going to pay that off. She wished she could do that right now so her marriage would really be in the past. But she couldn’t. When she wrote out that check every month, that would remind her what values and goals were really important.

Jared had the same values and goals she did. That mattered. Yet in time, if he couldn’t commit to her—

In time, she’d feel more and more like a mom to his girls. In time, they’d feel like a family. But would they
be
a family if Jared couldn’t promise her forever?

When Emily walked into Jared’s house, she took one look at him and could feel tension build. He’d apparently come home early and hadn’t been there long. He was still wearing his white shirt and trousers and hadn’t changed. He’d taken off his tie, though, and tossed it onto the counter.

As Gloria levered herself up from the sofa, Jared moved to help her. She reminded him, “I can do it,” and he moved away again.

“Come on, girls, let’s go to your room and dress your Barbies,” she suggested.

“Let’s play Barbie,” Amy agreed, hopped to her feet and scurried toward her room.

Courtney looked over her shoulder at her dad. “Are you going to play?”

He smiled at her. “Maybe later. I want to talk to Emily. Go ahead.”

“I’ll help Grandma,” Courtney decided, went to her grandmother and took her hand as they walked together to the twins’ room.

“You came home early,” Emily said, not sure how to dive into a conversation about where she’d been.

“It’s a good thing I did. You shouldn’t have left my mother alone with Amy and Courtney.”

“I knew I wouldn’t be gone long. But I wouldn’t have gone if I didn’t think your mother could handle it.”

“She’s still unsure of her balance. If she had fallen again—”

Although Jared didn’t show it often, he cared about his mother more than he wanted to admit.

“I’m sorry. I was only a phone call away. I told her I’d come right back if she needed me.”

Silence lengthened between them until he asked, “What was so important?”

Did he think she was going to lie to him? Hadn’t he gotten her message?

“I met with Richard. He was just in town for the day and it was the only opportunity he had. But you should have known that, Jared. I tried to call you before I left. Have you checked your messages?”

He looked blank for a moment, then took the phone from the holster on his belt. He looked chagrined after he checked it. “There’s a message there. I was attending an induced labor and just had my pager on.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t tell you about my meeting?” She really wanted to know what was in his head. A feeling of dread was creeping into her heart. If he didn’t trust her, what kind of relationship did they have? Did they
have
a relationship? Or was she only involved in an affair? An affair that would go nowhere?

“You didn’t tell my mother. Amy overheard you were meeting Richard.”

Apparently Gloria hadn’t taken notice of the name as Amy had. “Do you know why I didn’t tell your mother, Jared?”

He didn’t answer, so she went on anyway. “I wanted to tell her. Actually, I wanted to confide in her. I like your mother very much. But I didn’t know if I should.”

He looked wary now. “Why?”

“Because I didn’t know if I should involve her in my life. I’d love to feel as if she were family. But what would you think about that? The truth is, she’s not family. The twins aren’t family. I’d love to be their mom, but I’m not. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be because I don’t know what I have with you.”

He seemed at a loss to respond to
that
statement. Instead of delving deeper into what she’d said, he asked, “So what did your ex-husband want?”

She let him sidetrack her. Maybe he just needed to get his bearings. Maybe what happened today was a good thing because he’d tell her how he felt about her. “Richard is in a financial bind. He’s overextended on his credit and behind in his bills. He asked if I could give him a lump sum.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I can’t give him a lump sum, so I’m going to send him more each month. I suggested he sell his boat. I signed off on it.”

“You told me you gave him everything in the divorce because he’d paid your legal bills.”

“I did. He had just never taken my name off the painting or the boat.”

Jared shook his head. “He took everything and left you with nothing. He didn’t support you when you needed it most. So why are you paying him more?”

“Because I don’t want to feel obligated. Because I think it’s the fair thing to do.” The fair thing to do. She was beginning to realize that she had to be fair to herself and Jared
and the twins, too. They were all becoming more attached. She would be leaving soon, and Jared still hadn’t told her what he felt for her.

She was standing a good five feet from him. The tension had created at least that much distance between them. Her heart pounded as she moved closer to him, knowing she had to ask him some questions of her own.