Back to Life (34 page)

“This
is the last one, I promise,” I laughed. “And it’s the best one.”

She
sighed and shut her eyes. “All right,” she said. I covered her eyes with one
hand, and with the other I led her to a room that was right across the hall
from ours. I reached out and opened the door and let her inside. Once I had her
positioned right where I wanted her, I flicked on the lights and took my hand
down that was covering her eyes. “Okay, open your eyes,” I said.

When
she did, she gasped and put her hand to her mouth, tears flowing freely. “Liam…”
she whispered, “it…it’s perfect.” We were standing in the boy’s nursery and she
was right, it was perfect. I had come to the house a few days early with Brody
and Nick and we spent the whole day setting it up while Rory was having a girl
day with Marissa and Samantha. Rory, being a Yankees fan, had decided on a
baseball theme for their nursery. Their cribs were all decked out in soft blue
colored crib sets with little baseballs and baseball bats all over them. The
changing tables were stocked with everything we would need to change their
diapers, there were two light blue gliders in each corner, and the walls were
painted sky blue with decals of baseballs, bats, mitts, and Yankees logos and
pendants. The boy’s names, which we had already picked out, were spelled out
above their cribs. We were keeping them a secret, so I had hung the letters up
after Brody and Nick were already gone. I looked at her looking around the
room, and her face was wet with her tears.

“So,
I take it you like it, then?” I asked.

She
nodded and sniffed. “Liam, this is amazing. This is exactly what I wanted for
their nursery. Thank you so, so much,” she said.

 I
stood before her and wiped her cheeks with my hands. “I told you before that I
would do anything to make you happy, and I meant that. I love you,” I said, and
I kissed her.

“And
I love you too, babe.” We held each other for a few minutes before she quickly
pulled away. “Come on, let’s go break in our new bed,” she said, pulling me
toward the door.

I
laughed. “I thought you were tired.”

“I’m
wide awake now. Come on, Tanner, let’s go,” she said, and we quickly went
across the hall toward our new bedroom, where we spent the night christening
our new favorite room in the house.

I
really and truly felt that life was only going to get better from here on out.
I got to come home every night to my own personal goddess who was about to give
birth to our two beautiful boys, and our home would soon be filled with the
pitter patter of little feet, and I couldn’t wait. Rory once told me that I
brought her back to life, but I think we brought each other back in our own
ways, and I would never stop being grateful to her.

Rory

March

“Are
you sure we have everything we need?” I asked, my eyes wide and roaming all
over the room, looking for something we might be forgetting. It was March sixth…D-Day
as we had affectionately started calling it. Liam and I were on our way out the
door to my scheduled C-section. In a few hours, I would finally meet my baby
boys.

Liam
walked over to me, his shoulders heavy with all of the bags we would need
during my hospital stay. “We went over our checklist last night and this morning.
Twice. Don’t worry, angel,” he said, kissing me. “We have absolutely everything
we could need or want.” As he ushered me toward the door, he looked at me and
asked, “So, are you ready to meet our boys today?”

I
nodded, smiling. “Definitely. I can’t wait to hold them in my arms,” I said,
and as soon as he opened the door, I walked through and down the steps. The
weather felt great outside already. Even though spring wasn’t officially here
for another two weeks, we had had a pretty mild winter this year. I was more
than happy to be bringing the babies into the world on such a beautiful day. I
waddled to the car as Liam locked the door and I smiled at all of our neighbors
that were outside waving us off.

“Congratulations,
to you both!” yelled Mr. Carson, a cute little old man that lived across the
street. “You make sure and bring them boys by once you’re home and rested!”

“You
know it, Mr. Carson! Thank you!” I said, and Liam already had ran behind me and
was waiting with the passenger door open. I climbed in and he leaned in,
kissing me before he shut the door and went to the driver’s side. We backed out
of the driveway and with excitement shooting through us, we made our way back
into the city and headed toward New York Presbyterian Hospital.

Soon,
we were there and had parked our van, and Liam walked with me into the
hospital, his hand holding mine. We eventually made it to the maternity floor,
and since I was pre-registered, everything was all set and ready for me to get
changed into my gown and head into the operating room. All of the pre-op stuff
didn’t take long, and before I could even wrap my mind around it all, I was in
the operating room getting a spinal block (which hurt like a
mother fucker
)
while Liam was getting dressed in scrubs. Once I was lying on the table and my
toes were tingling, Dr. Jennings smiled at me. “So, Rory, today’s the big day.
Are you ready to meet your little boys?”

“
Beyond
ready,” I said, smiling. My arms were stretched out on either side of me and I
had Velcro restraints on my wrists. I wondered why I had to have them, but at
that point, I was on such a maternal high that I didn’t care.

“I’m
going to check to see how well the spinal block is working and once you are
good and numb we will have Liam come in and then we’ll get started,” she said.
I laid back, waiting for her to start, and after about thirty seconds, and she asked,
“Okay, Rory, did you feel any of what I just did?”

“What
did you do? I didn’t feel anything,” I said.

She
smiled. “Okay, you’re ready. Veronica, go get Mr. Tanner please,” she said, and
everyone was getting everything ready. Several minutes passed and before I knew
it, the doors opened to the operating room and my handsome husband was at my
side.

“Hey,”
I said, smiling at him as my hair was tucked under a cap and an oxygen tube was
placed under my nose.

“Hey,
beautiful,” he said, leaning and kissing me through the surgical mask on his
face. “Are you nervous?”

“No,
I’m so excited. I have waited for this moment for so long. I can’t believe we
are actually about to meet our babies,” I said, grinning.

“I
know. Who do you think they will look like?” he asked.

“I
hope they look like their handsome daddy,” I said.

“But
with their mother’s beautiful eyes,” he answered.

“Okay,
Rory, we are about to begin. You are going to feel a little pressure at first,
then lots of tugging as we get the babies out, okay? If at any time you start
to feel actual pain, let us know.”

“Okay,
I will,” I said. Liam held onto my hand and even though I couldn’t see it, I
knew he was smiling because I could see the creases in the corners of his eyes.

“I
love you, angel,” he said, and I felt a little bit of pressure as I heard the
doctor say something about making an incision. Our eyes never left each others
as I started to feel tugging for a few moments, and all of a sudden, I heard
the most
beautiful
sound I had ever heard…the tiny, squeaky cry of my
son.

“Okay,
Baby A is out! He’s definitely a boy,” I heard Dr. Jennings laugh, and I
started to cry as I heard his little squealing cry. I smiled at Liam, and we
both looked up as she held our first little baby over the sheet covering me as
I laid my eyes on him. My heart melted in that moment…he was so beautiful. The
tears wouldn’t stop flowing as she whisked him away to get checked out.

“Liam,
he’s so gorgeous. We have a son,” I cried happily. He had huge tears in his
eyes, and he leaned in to kiss my forehead once again. I felt another big tug,
and then my heart was exploding with joy when I heard another sweet, tiny cry
as my second son was brought out into the world.

“And,
here is Baby B, another healthy boy,” Dr. Dennings said as she lifted our
second little baby above the sheet so we could see him. He was so amazing, so
perfect. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling, and I nodded at Liam.

“It’s
okay, I’m fine. Go check on them,” I urged, and he kissed me quickly before
jumping off the stool and going over to our sons. In that moment, while I was
being stitched back together and my husband was watching over our newborn sons,
I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace. I don’t know how long it took to get
the babies checked out, but I was aching to see them again. Finally I could see
Liam coming toward me holding our precious boys. He’d taken his mask off, and
he had such a happy, hopeful smile on his face that I nearly started to cry
again.

“Boys,
there is someone I want you to meet, although I’m pretty sure you remember her
from being in your little cubby hole,” he said in a loving voice. He leaned
down to me so I could see their angelic little faces and said, “Say hello to
your beautiful mommy.” I looked at their perfect tiny faces and the tears began
to flow all over again. I looked from my first born son, who was sporting a
little hat that read “Baby A” to my second son, whose little hat read “Baby B”,
and a euphoric feeling overtook me. “Aren’t they beautiful, Rory?”

“They
are so perfect,” I cried. I hope Liam didn’t mind, but he no longer owned my
heart. It was now split equally between him, our little boys…and the piece that
would always belong to Mason. As I shared our first moment with Liam as a
family, I knew in that moment that Mason was sharing in it too, and that his
spirit had gotten me to a place where I was finally happy and able to live the
life I’d always dreamed of. As Liam stood up and held the twins after I’d been
closed up and was ready to move to recovery, I whispered a silent “thank you”
to Mason, hoping that wherever he was, he heard it.

After
I was all settled in my room, Liam had followed soon after with the babies.
“So, Mommy, are you ready to hold your sons?” Liam asked, beaming at me.

I
nodded and smiled widely, and I held my arms out as he placed our boys carefully
in my arms. I was crying silently as I held my beautiful babies for the first
time. Looking at their perfect faces, I said, “Well, hello there, handsome guys.
We’ve been waiting for you two.”

“They
are amazing, aren’t they? Rory, they look just like you,” Liam said.

“Oh
no way, they are gorgeous. They are all you, babe,” I said, and he leaned and
kissed me as he took a spot on the bed next to me. We spent about an hour
bonding with our sons, and I even got to feed them both for the first time, which
was so weird. The nurse taught me how to feed them both at the same time, and I
couldn’t help but giggle because it looked like I was holding two baby-shaped
footballs attached to my breasts. Once the boys were full, Liam took our first
son while I held the second and we burped them together. I’m going on record as
saying there is no cuter sound in the freaking world than a baby burping.

Soon,
our families were knocking on the door and there was a lot of gasping and a lot
of tears as they all got their first look at our baby boys. Vivian was a
sobbing mess, Marissa and Samantha were both crying, and the guys looked so
proud and happy for us. “Congratulations, you two,” Vivian said, kissing my
cheek and blowing a kiss to Liam before her eyes traveled from one boy to the
next. “They are so beautiful!”

“Thanks
Mom,” Liam said, and he leaned in and kissed my forehead.

“Okay,
so we are dying here. Don’t keep us in the dark any longer. What are their
names?” Marissa asked, Brody’s arms wrapped around her. I couldn’t help but see
the big diamond engagement ring on her left finger, and I smiled.

“Well,
do you want to tell them or should I?” Liam asked.

“How
about you tell them Baby A’s name and I’ll tell them Baby B’s,” I said.

He
nodded. “Okay, here goes. Everyone,” he said, holding our little boy so he was
facing everyone, “we’d like you all to meet Grayson James Tanner.”

My
eyes flicked to Grayson and my dad, and they both were beaming and looked like
they might cry. “Oh son,” Grayson said, “you don’t know how much that means to
me. Thank you,” he said, looking at me and winking.

My
dad had tears in his eyes. “Oh Rory, what an honor. Thank you sweetheart,” he
said, and I blew a kiss to him.

“Okay,
it’s my turn now,” I said. I held out my second little man out and said,
“Everyone, meet Brody Nicholas Tanner.” I looked into Brody’s stunned
expression, and we locked eyes. He smiled so brightly, and his eyes were
brimming with tears. “Rory, that’s…that’s so amazing. Thank you,” he said, and
unwrapped his arms from Marissa (who was crying too) and walked over to me. He
leaned in and kissed my cheek before saying, “I love you so much, little
sister. You’re babies are perfect, and no one in the world deserves this kind
of happiness more than you. Thank you for this,” he said.