Back to Luke (7 page)

“Why’d you want your suitcase?”

She glanced at her phone on the night table. “Because I’m leaving Riverdale on a red-eye tonight.”

His brow furrowed. “Just this week you said you were staying.”

She shook her head. “I’m causing Jess too much trouble. No matter what you think of me, I love him like a brother and I won’t bring more unhappiness on him than I already have. I saw clearly tonight that I shouldn’t have come.”

“Where will you go?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does.” Jess’s voice came from the doorway. “You’re staying right here, Jaynie.”

Both Jayne and Luke looked over at a clearly annoyed Jess. “You’re not going MIA from my life again for six years.”

“Yes, I am. I can’t stand watching you and Naomi fight over me.”

“We aren’t going to be fighting over you anymore.”

“Why?” Luke asked, his tone suspicious.

“Because I’m moving out of the house on Second Street for a while.”

“What?”
Luke said.

Jayne gasped. “Oh, Jess, you can’t do that.”

“I already have.”

“Where are you gonna stay?” Now Luke’s voice was filled with anger.

“Right here, in my old room.”

“Down the hall from Jayne? Oh, yeah, Jess, this is a great idea. Just great.”

“Don’t say another word. You’re risking our friendship. With Timmy gone, you can’t afford to lose me, too.”

Luke froze. Jess mirrored him, looking unbelievably chagrinned.

And Jayne asked, “What do you mean? What happened to Timmy?”

B
EREFT
, L
UKE SAT
in the gazebo at eleven that night. All of the guests had found their way out, even Elise, who’d gone home a half-hour ago, leaving him alone with his misery. Jess was right. He’d lost Timmy through his negligence, and now he was on the brink of losing Jess, too. Though he’d never expected an attack from the very man who’d tried tirelessly to convince Luke he’d been innocent in Timmy’s death, he deserved it. In spades.

He heard a rustle and saw Jayne limping toward him with a suitcase in her hand. She reached the gazebo, stepped inside and set the case down. Moonbeams kissed her shoulders like a lover might. Damned if he could stop his reaction to her again. Still, he could be civil.

She said, “I, um, I’d like to talk to you.”

“I know. I’m an ass. I made Jess choose and he chose you.”

Dropping onto the bench next to him, she ran a hand through her hair, messing it. “I think this goes deeper for Jess. He hates it when he feels people he loves are being unfair to him. In college, when our friends turned on us, he couldn’t deal with it. Because he’s so loyal and trustworthy, he expects everyone else to be.” She cleared her throat. “You and Naomi, especially.”

Luke started to speak but she held up her hand.

“No, it doesn’t matter anymore. I came out here to tell you I’m still leaving on that red-eye.”

“Despite Jess’s objections?”

“Yes.” She indicated the suitcase. On top of it was her purse. “I know you don’t believe me, but I never wanted to cause trouble. Like I said earlier, I love Jess too much to stay now.”

He just watched her, his emotions playing paddleball with each other. He didn’t want her to go, and he didn’t want her to stay.

“I need to know something, though, before I leave.”

“What?”

“What happened to Timmy? Did you have a falling-out?”

Again, Luke froze, just like up in the bedroom.

“I asked Jess about him but he wouldn’t talk about it.”

Still, Luke couldn’t answer.

“I mentioned it but we were interrupted. Then I got so caught up in what was going on with me…” She halted. “Luke, what’s wrong?”

Luke shook his head and felt his eyes mist. She must have caught on and touched his arm. “Luke, what happened?”

Suddenly, the words he’d said to no one, the whole sordid story that he hadn’t told to a single soul, just tumbled out.

“We were so young, Jayne, for all that success, after we went to Dubai.”

“Why did you go? I never knew.”

“I wrecked my knee playing football. It healed enough to run and stuff, but no contact sports, so my college scholarship went down the tubes. Mom and Dad would have helped, but Dad had just had his first bypass surgery and I couldn’t burden them with this. I told them I was hot to go overseas.”

“You weren’t?”

“In some ways I was. I loved my family and didn’t really want to leave them. But I wanted fame and fortune, too.”

“All kids do.”

“Timmy especially.” He told her about Paddy O’Malley’s abuse.

“So you went to get him out of that situation?”

“Partly. It’s another thing Mick holds against me. We left him here alone to protect his mother and himself.” He shook his head in disgust. “Anyway, we made scads of money, banked it, and after four years, returned to the States.”

“That’s when you joined Madison Conglomerates?”

“Yes. They wanted to make us junior partners because we had the upfront money. So we made a ton more.”

“You seemed to handle it okay.”

“I did. But Timmy didn’t. He loved the high life a little too much.”

“He was a partyer when I knew him, but not to that degree.”

“He got worse after you left.” He swallowed hard. “God, this is hard. I think it started to go bad while you were still in New York. I just didn’t notice.” Unable to help himself, he reached out and ran a hand down her hair. “I got involved with you, spent all my time with you, and neglected him. I didn’t see it happening, Jayne, I didn’t.”

“Oh, Luke. I’m so sorry.”

“For a while after you left, I wasn’t fit company for anybody. I threw myself into my work. Once I shaped up, and realized that Timmy was in way over his head, I tried to talk to him. He got surly, moody and mad at me. All I did was alienate him more, so he didn’t tell me much. After a while, we only saw each other at work, and he functioned there, too. I thought, screw it, if he doesn’t want to be friends, so be it. I’d live my own life.”

“What happened to change that?”

“He got deeper into drugs and eventually needed more to feed his habit, so he came to me for help.”

“That’s good.”

“No, not help in getting clean. He wanted money from me. He’d blown all his cash on drugs and gambling, which I didn’t even know he was into.”

“Oh.”

“I said no to the money.” God, he could still see Timmy’s dark eyes, bloodshot and watery, his shoulders hunched, his tone pleading. “But I told him I’d do anything to help him get straight. He left my place saying he’d think about it.”

“Did he get help?”

Luke’s throat clogged. He couldn’t answer.

Jayne drew back and faced him. “What? Tell me.”

“He went back to his place, got his Rolex watch to sell and scored—for the last time.”

“He overdosed? Timmy’s
dead?
”

Feeling his eyes spill over, he nodded. “I was the last person to see him alive. I…if I hadn’t…” Luke couldn’t get it out. “I should have…”

Jayne grasped his shoulders. “Done what? What could you have done?”

“Stopped him.”

“You tried.”

“Maybe not hard enough.”

“Luke, you know that one person can’t make another get clean and sober.”

“I do here,” he said pointing to his head. “Not here.” He laid his palm over his heart.

She put her hand over his. “You just need to let your heart catch up. I’m so, so sorry about Timmy. He was a great guy. But his downslide wasn’t your fault.”

“If I hadn’t been so obsessed with you…”

“You were obsessed with me?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I never knew.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not blaming you, though seeing you again has reopened old wounds.”

She sighed. “All the more reason for me to leave.”

Luke was touched by her conciliatory tone and unselfish gesture. “I—”

Her phone shrilled into the darkness from her purse.

“Who’d be calling you this late?” he asked.

“I don’t…oh, wait, it’s only eight in California. It must be…” She drew in a heavy breath, got up, fished out the phone and tentatively said into it, “Jayne Logan.”

Luke watched her face in the lamplight from the gardens. Her complexion had gone white. “Hello, Michael. I take it you have news.”

As she listened, her only reaction was to grip the phone; then she turned away from Luke. “Yes, yes, I understand. No, I know it’s not. Yes, of course. I’ll be in touch.” She clicked off, slipped the phone into the dark slacks she’d changed into and kept her back to him.

When Luke saw her shoulders begin to shake, he got up and crossed to her. Placing his hands on her upper arms, he was about to speak when she said, “Don’t,” and tried to draw away.

He held on tight. “Bad news?”

She nodded.

He could feel the emotion welling up and out of her, feel her body quiver with it. And he couldn’t stand it. “How bad?”

Clearing her throat, she said, almost inaudibly, “Very bad.”

He let it go a few seconds, and when she didn’t say more, he tugged her around. “Tell me.”

She wasn’t crying, but her eyes were so bleak it killed him. “That was my lawyer. The architectural board called him. The Coulter Gallery…the walkway that collapsed…”

“What did they find?”

“It was my fault. There was an error in the design. Michael didn’t know the technical details and they’re sending me an official report. Oh, dear Lord, Luke, I made a mistake!”

Once again his former feelings for this woman surfaced. He had to help. “Look, Jayne, we all make mistakes.”

“No, this is really bad. The next step is the board investigation into whether I’m guilty of gross negligence or understandable error. Or fraud, which it wasn’t, on my part at least. Still, I could be blamed in a lawsuit.” She took in a breath. “If any of the above happens, I’ll have my architect’s license revoked.”

“I’m so sorry, honey.”

She glanced at her suitcase and seemed to shutter her emotions right before his eyes. Throwing her head back, she straightened. “No matter, I’m still leaving. I reserved a ticket to Florida, and now I’m glad. I can’t go back to California and face this.”
Alone
would have been the next word in her sentence.

Images surfaced of those weeks after Timmy died, when Luke had come back to Riverdale.

His entire family had rallied around him. If it hadn’t been for them, he wouldn’t have made it through the ordeal.

First his father had tried to drag him out of his funk.
Luciano, I will not have this. People are responsible for their own actions. Have we not taught you this?

Then his mother gave her advice.
My poor baby—being the only boy has made you too sensitive about protecting others.

But it had been his four beautiful sisters who made the biggest difference—Corky spending nights with him so he wouldn’t drink himself into oblivion; Teresa, a stay-at-home mom, cooking meals and insisting he eat. Even Maria took a long vacation from her corporate job to hold his hand through the grieving process. And of course Belle, who reamed him out and hugged him in the same breath. All of them had lifted him from the pit of despair.

“No way. You aren’t leaving.”

“What?”

“Stay here with people who’ll help you deal with this thing.”

Her brow furrowed. “I don’t understand. You’ve wanted me gone since the day I got here. And now, after what you told me about Timmy, I’m obviously just bringing back your guilt. It’s best for everybody if I go.”

“When Timmy died, I wanted to die along with him. Seriously. Instead, I came home. My family and friends saved my life.”

“That’s a different thing. I don’t belong in Riverdale.”

“You have people who love you here—Jess and Miss Ellie. I’ll help, too. I’ll patch it up with Jess, and try to make Naomi see reason. Or maybe even talk them into counseling.”

“You can’t fix everything, Luke. You always thought you could, but it’s an illusion.”

Reaching out, he gave her hand a squeeze. “I know. Sorry, it’s a bad habit. But you’re staying.”

God, he hoped he was doing the right thing. For the sake of Jess and Naomi, she really should leave town, yet he simply couldn’t let her go. She was suffering and it cut him to the core.

But there was something else—something he’d been forced to admit when he saw her again, something that had been exacerbated when he held her in his arms earlier tonight. He wanted her back in town. Back in his life. That was so not good for him or for Jess, and probably not for her. Still, that was how he felt, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

A
S
J
AYNE RAN
through the streets of Riverdale, the May sunrise kissed the newly mowed lawns and budding treetops, making her glad she’d worn light fleece running shorts and a cool T-shirt. She was rounding the corner of Eighth Street onto Chestnut when she spied a jogger in the distance. No one else had been hitting the pavement at this hour—she’d left the house at six—but maybe it was late enough now for others to take a Saturday morning jog. So much had happened to bring her out here—the pronouncement of her guilt in the building walkway’s collapse; the run-in with Naomi that caused Jess to leave his house; and, finally, Luke’s horrific news that Timmy was dead.

She could still see him, tears in his eyes, his shoulders hunched, confessing what he thought was his role in Timmy’s death. Until she’d gotten her own life-altering phone call. Then he’d tried to comfort
her
and ended up encouraging her to stay in town. She’d been dumbfounded.

The desire she’d been trying to keep at bay since she’d come to Riverdale and found him here, since she’d been confronted by his masculine presence, had been heightened by falling into his arms in the bedroom. Then, when he’d held her in the gazebo, she’d felt encompassed by him, supported, understood, empathized
with. And, dangerously, protected, something she hadn’t allowed herself to experience with any man since…Ben. Not even in New York, with Luke, had she let herself go as she had in college. But now, if she stayed in Riverdale, how she would deal with all the renewed feelings for Luke swirling inside her?

The jogger came closer, and she was shocked to see it was Jess. Her heart began to beat fast—she’d have to tell him about the mistake she’d made in the design of the Coulter Gallery, and she wasn’t sure she had the strength to give him more bad news. Poor Jess had enough on his emotional plate.

“Hey, there, sweetie,” he said when he reached her. “You went out early.”

Halting in front of him, she tried to give him a smile. It felt as phony as the one on his face. “Hi, Jess. Yeah, I didn’t sleep well.”

“You didn’t sleep at all.” At her frown, he added, “I didn’t, either.”

“I’m sorry. I know it must be hard to be away from Naomi. You should go back home.”

“
You
should have come down the hall and told me about the findings of the architectural board.”

Her brows shot up. “You know?”

“Uh-huh. I went out to the gazebo and sat with Luke most of the night.”

Soon after hearing the news from her lawyer, Jayne had gone to bed and assumed Luke had left Eleanor’s. “So he told you?”

Jess nodded. “I think he wanted to spare you having to tell it all again.” He squeezed her arm. “Come on, let’s walk. You’re done running for now.” They started down the road.

“Luke encouraged me to stay in Riverdale, Jess.”

“I know. He’s hotheaded and he can be rash about things, but he’s a fair guy most of the time.”

“Most?”

“I’ve never been crazy about how he handles the women in his life. He says he’s changed since Timmy’s death, but who knows.”

Now, she guessed, wasn’t the time to tell Jess she’d been one of those women.

“He’s always been a love-’em-and-leave-’em kind of guy, and hasn’t ever really gotten involved with anyone.”

Jess had told her that years before she ever met Luke. It was one of the reasons she’d tried to stay detached in New York, and maybe one of the reasons she’d run from Luke. Hadn’t she wondered what he saw in her, and if he’d leave her like Ben had?

“Do you think he was sincere about my staying?”

“I hope so. I can’t imagine why else he’d say what he did.” Jess frowned. “He’s made mistakes, too, and he knows what it’s like to need the comfort of family around.”

“I’m not family.”

Jess gave her a brief hug. “Of course you are.”

“Jess, he told me about Timmy.”

Jess stopped short and his face flooded with emotion. “Are you kidding? He never talks about Timmy to anybody, not even me.”

“I knew Timmy in New York, when I worked with them on Madison Conglomerates projects. I had no idea he was in such bad shape.”

If possible, Jess looked even sadder. “Nobody did. Not even Luke. He blames himself, but he gets pissed off when I bring it up.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“I guess I don’t like to talk about it, either. I should have told you about Timmy when you asked that day in the trailer, but this is hard for me to talk about, too.”

“I should have pursued it, but things got crazy. I feel so self-absorbed.”

“I—”

“No, you don’t have to make me feel better about this, Jess. We don’t have to talk about it now, either, not when your life is upside down. Just know how sorry I am.”

“Man, everything’s such a mess.”

“What are you going to do about Naomi?”

“I decided last night that all I’ve done is mask this problem for years. I gave it a shot her way, but she reneged on our agreement. End of story. We’ll have to work out her lack of trust whether or not you’re in town, Jaynie.” He shrugged, but Jayne could hear the sorrow in his voice. “I’m going over today to see if I can explain why I feel she’s being unfair. Maybe clearing the air will help.”

“Oh, good.” They reached the house. Again, just the sight of it made Jayne feel better. Being near her favorite buildings had that effect on her. The thought only underscored the precariousness of her situation.

“What’s next from the architectural board?” Jess asked.

“My lawyer received the preliminary findings. He’ll get the official report sometime next week with the specifics of what went wrong. I also hired an independent firm to do an analysis, and I’m assuming they’ll come to the same conclusions. Then the board has to decide if I’m guilty of fraud, negligence or simply an error in judgment.”

“We know it wasn’t fraud.”

“But if it’s gross negligence, I’m sunk.”

“You’re anything but grossly negligent. It was a mistake.”

“Even if it was just that, Jess, my reputation is tainted, maybe beyond repair.”

Jess didn’t say anything. One thing she valued about him was that he never offered false hope or platitudes. When they’d been betrayed in college, he hadn’t made excuses for Ben and Sally.

Finally, he said, “I guess you’ll have to find a way to deal with that next.” He grasped her hand. “I’ve been giving this some thought, Jayne. Were there any changes made to your original blueprints?”

“Yes, of course, there are always changes. Builders find easier ways to put up walls for rooms, engineers discover how the internal structure
should
be changed. And the electrician needs to reroute some wiring. I’ve never worked on a building that didn’t have any last-minute alterations.”

“And you signed off on them for the Coulter Gallery?”

“I have to. What are you getting at?”

“I wonder if the error occurred there. Maybe it was a decision that could have gone either way, so you made changes that weren’t, in the long run, right.”

“I looked at the final alterations and didn’t see anything.”

“Maybe you need a fresh pair of eyes. Do you have the plans with you?”

“I do, back at the house.”

“Including what was changed?”

“Yes, I’m meticulous about record keeping.”

“Let’s go take a look at them, in light of what we talked about.”

Again, she felt better. Jess could always do this for her. And, by God, she needed him now.

By eight o’clock, they were at the kitchen table,
drinking coffee and poring over the changes she’d made in the blueprints. Jess was frowning at them.

“Do you see something?” she asked nervously.

“Maybe. Look at these three.”

Jayne scanned the changes he’d highlighted. “I considered these already and dismissed them.”

“Why?”

“Because I suggested two of them and knew those were better than the original. The change in the rods was the structural engineer’s idea. He had research on why his change was viable and, though I didn’t like him much, he was very good at his job.”

“Okay. Let’s look further.”

A half hour later, Eleanor shuffled in wearing a light robe and slippers. “Good morning.” She spied the plans. “That’s a lot to be tackling at this hour.”

“We were, um, up early,” Jayne said self-consciously.

Crossing to the sink, Eleanor put water in the teakettle and transferred it to the stove. Then she came to stand by the table. “Did something happen I don’t know about?”

“I’m afraid so. I got the results of the architectural board’s inquiry last night.” In halting sentences, Jayne explained the situation. “We’re going over the plans now to see if the error might have been related to some changes that were made to the original plan.”

The older woman squeezed her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, dear. I know how much this must hurt.”

A lump the size of a golf ball formed in her throat. The reality that she
had
made a mistake was almost untenable this morning.

The teakettle whistled. Eleanor fixed herself a cup, then returned to the table and sat. “We’ll all help you
through this, Jayne.” She zeroed in on her son. “Now, let’s talk about you, Jess.”

Jess tried to smile, but his shoulders slumped with the weight of all that had happened. In the bright light coming from the windows, his face was etched with lines of fatigue. “I’m fine, Mom.”

“I need to say something.” Eleanor sipped her tea, then blotted her mouth with a napkin. “Last night, you told me Naomi took the car and went home because she was tired. You stayed because you weren’t ready to leave the party.”

They’d made up that excuse so as not to ruin Eleanor’s celebration.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t like being lied to.”

“Lied to? I—”

Eleanor held up her hand. “Don’t compound what you’ve already done, young man. You and Naomi have both been lying to me for years.”

Jayne dropped the pen she’d been writing with onto the yellow legal pad in front of her.

“I’m old, not senile.”

Like two chastised children, Jess and Jayne exchanged a guilty look and kept quiet.

“I know about Naomi’s objections to your relationship with Jayne, Jessie. I know you, Jayne, stopped coming to Riverdale because of Naomi’s feelings. I’ve known all along you didn’t abandon me.”

“Why haven’t you said anything before this?” Jess asked.

“Because it wasn’t my place. I felt that you and Naomi needed to work things out in private. If you didn’t tell me about the trouble, you didn’t want me to know. And I realize Naomi was afraid your conflict
would affect our relationship. Now, things have changed.” Again, she took a bead on her son. “You didn’t stay over here for one night, did you?”

“No, I’ve left the house for a while.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that.”

“Mom, I—”

“No, honey, I’m not criticizing. You have to do what you think is best. I just hate that it’s gone this far. But it is what it is.” Her favorite phrase. “And I trust you’ll do the right thing.”

“I’ll have to tell Naomi that you know about what really happened.”

“I realize that. And I’m sorry. This kind of situation is hard for her because of her father and her brother. I understand her point of view, but for what it’s worth, I’m not happy that she’s lumped
you,
a man of integrity like your dad, with them.”

“Oh, Mom, don’t turn on her. She’ll need you, too.”

“I’m doing no such thing. But I have to say what I feel. I’m not going to turn on her, you—” she looked at Jayne “—or you, Jaynie.”

“Thank you, Eleanor.” She bit her lip. “I can’t tell you how much that means to me.” Almost as much as Luke’s support had.

At the thought of him, Jayne felt uneasy again. She’d have to keep his actions last night in perspective. She had no intention of depending on him, depending on any man for emotional support. If she decided to stay, she’d have to be very careful around Luke.

A
T THE CRACK
of dawn on Monday morning, Luke pulled up to the Harmony Housing site, got out of his truck and, carrying a much-needed hot black coffee, slammed the
door. The sound echoed in the silence of the deserted lot. He’d had a shitty weekend, waiting for Jess to call him. Jess hadn’t, and Luke had been preoccupied through the traditional Sunday dinner at his parents’ house. Hell, at the browbeating of his sisters, he’d even agreed to chauffeur his nieces and nephews to the baseball game this Saturday. That should be fun, though.

Taking pleasure in the sweet scent of sawdust, more noticeable when men and machinery weren’t on site, he walked around the perimeter of the house, thinking about what he’d done Friday night—telling Jayne about Timmy, breaking down, for God’s sake, and then encouraging her to stay.

When he’d held her close after that damned news she’d gotten, he’d been swamped by old associations, enough to awaken in the wee hours of the morning from an incredibly erotic dream about Jayne—he’d taken off that mouthwatering dress in Miss Ellie’s gardens while the sun gleamed off her like she was some classical statue. When he’d touched his fill, she was all his again.

Sinking onto a stack of lumber, he sipped from his cup. Okay, so he still wanted her. Why not? Wouldn’t any man? Hadn’t his crew, in their crude way, proved that? So Luke’s response to her was just normal. He could control it. He had to. He couldn’t let this attraction go anywhere, for a lot of reasons.

First off, it would only complicate the issue if Luke confessed his previous relationship with Jayne to Jess. Who knew how his friend would react? Or how Naomi would? But it was more than that. Because of Jayne’s background, because she’d grown up in an emotionally sterile environment, she’d always kept her emotions controlled. Until she’d met that fool Ben. After his de
sertion, she became even more closed off. Luke had been making headway in New York—he was the exact opposite because of his upbringing—and she’d been starting to open up. But in the end, Jayne had left him because of the problem with Prentice Architects. And she’d hurt him deeply; it had taken him a long time to get over it.