Bad Men Do What Good Men Dream: A Forensic Psychiatrist Illuminates the Darker Side of Human Behavior (12 page)

As noted above, less than 5% of all accusations of rape or attempted rape result in arrest and convictions. Therefore, rapists who are jailed (and studied) do not represent a random sample of all rapists, and the profiles may not encompass all the varieties of rapists. Again, the prevalence of acquaintance rape is vastly underreported. A rapist who confounds classification in this group of offenders, perhaps a professional, and who does not rape other men’s wives or daughters, but who does rape his own wife or girlfriend, is not likely to become involved with the legal system. Mental health experts do argue, however, that even such a man is describable as a rapist within the categories outlined just above, with their chilling mixture of expressed aggression and sexual fantasies.

Moreover, statistics and psychological profiles gathered from interviews with convicted rapists in prison are significant enough that an incontestable fact can be understood from them: rapists themselves were often the victims of horrendous childhood abuse and of pathological families. Someday we may find that specific kinds of child abuse predispose the victims to become adults who rape. No such specific set of factors has yet been found, nor do most abused children turn into rapists in their later lives. But one thing is abundantly clear: the most consistent element in rape of all kinds is an absence of empathy, the absence of an ability by the attacker to put himself or herself in the victim’s place. This can be traced back to the victimization of rapists as children, a victimization that results in their own emotional paralysis. Abused children who become rapists are those who grow up feeling martyred, vengeful, and entitled to abuse others as they were once abused. In these individuals, compassion is dead, and the world is a jungle in which they must hurt or exploit others to survive.

Every Man a Rapist at Heart?

The plain facts are that most criminal rapists are ordinary folks who generally live ordinary lives but are driven by their personal emotional demons to commit the crime of rape. Many rapists, like Henry Hubbard, hold down good jobs at which they are proficient. Many are married and have children. Just as important, most of these individuals are rarely out of touch with reality; psychiatrists define the state of being out of touch with reality as psychosis. Thus, rapists do not appear to be very different from the rest of us. In fact, they give the lie to the artificial separation of “us” and “them” that so often characterizes our discussions of law-abiding citizens and criminals.

Rape fantasies are common. Research has consistently demonstrated that some “normal” men, who have no history of sexually aggressive behavior, are aroused by rape stimuli that involve adults. In a study of 94 men’s erotic fantasies during masturbation or intercourse, 33% fantasized about raping women. In a survey of college men, 35% indicated that they would rape, if they could be assured of not getting caught. But rape fantasies are not exclusively confined to the mental domain of men. Women undergoing intensive psychotherapy occasionally reveal fantasies that involve raping men or other women. Among female patients with multiple personality disorder, a male alter-personality may come forward that harbors intense rape fantasies. Moreover, controlled aggression plays a role in normal sexual relations—it can add playfulness, creativity, variety, and additional gusto to consensual sex. Some evolutionary psychologists have even found that the psychological profiles of rapists are practically indistinguishable from those of non-rapists, leading them to take the hugely controversial position that the proclivity to rape is an evolved behavioral adaptation that is universally present in normal human males. These researchers conclude that under certain appropriate, reproductive risk-benefit conditions, any normal man is likely to commit rape. An immediate caveat must be added to this contention: the presence or frequency of conscious or unconscious rape fantasies does not make every man a rapist, nor does it make every woman a willing victim. Fantasy, however powerful, cannot come close to the actual rape experience of degradation and violence.

Most of those who imagine sexual sadism confine themselves to fantasy and never engage in a sexually sadistic act, much less in a sexually sadistic crime. Even among the group that do act out their fantasies, most sadistic behavior is limited to lawful or quasi-lawful behavior with consenting or paid partners. It is only a small group of sexual sadists who act out their fantasies at the expense of an unwilling partner. Unfortunately, it is an even smaller group that comprises those who are apprehended and criminally charged with rape.

The question still remains: Are all men rapists at heart? I think not. I know of no scientific research that would support such a conclusion. The enormous psychological differences among the billions of men on this earth alone would preclude such a sweeping generalization. Everyone must contend with the base, the foul, the ugly within themselves, but not every man’s dark side harbors a rapist. Bad men do what good men dream, but not every man dreams about doing all the things that bad men do.

The Compensatory Rapist

Rape is a crime of aggression. The rapes of infirm 80- and 90-year-old women are examples of pure hate and aggression. In instrumental aggression, the amount of force used does not go beyond that which is necessary to coerce the victim’s compliance. If the victim is injured, that is usually accidental. If the victim resists, the instrumental rapist does not usually become angry in response. Sometimes, if the victim becomes aggressive, or screams and fights back, the rapist may stop and flee. The compensatory rapist—a subcategory of the instrumental rapist—exhibits behaviors that emanate both from sexual arousal and from compensatory ideas about himself or herself.

The compensatory rapist’s rape is usually planned or premeditated. His sexual behavior toward the victim is driven by elaborate sexual fantasies. These may involve having a Hollywood-style romantic sexual relationship, fending off homosexual fears, and the indulging of passive sexual wishes by putting himself in the shoes of the victim, to give just a few examples. The sexual behavior of the rapist may also serve nonsexual purposes, such as attempts to deal with deflations in self-worth, reverse a passive lifestyle, compensate for fears and inadequacies arising from child abuse, or defend against a threatening emotional or mental collapse. Such rapists fantasize about, or live out, a variety of sexual perversions, including voyeurism, exhibitionism, cross-dressing, fetishism, the making of obscene telephone calls, and bizarre masturbatory practices. High sexual arousal may lead to loss of control and to distortion of reality. For example, the rapist may expect the victim to respond sexually and accept a “date” after the assault.

The compensatory rapist is more likely than other rapists to give the victim his name and address, or to allow himself in other ways to be identified. He is more likely than other rapists to fondle, caress, engage in foreplay, and perform cunnilingus on the victim. He may ask to look at the victim naked, ask her to kiss him, or engage her in conversation that intends to reassure her—and himself. Premature ejaculation is common. In summary, the compensatory rapist attempts to make up for severe feelings of male inadequacy and failure.

The following example depicts a typical compensatory rapist:

Mike, a 27-year-old married man with two children, a daughter age 8 and a son age 6, was apprehended shortly after raping a woman and giving her his telephone number. When his psychiatric history was taken, it provided a classic illustration of the development and behavior patterns of a compensatory rapist. During the previous 6 years, Mike had been engaging in frequent episodes of exhibiting himself, voyeurism, and the wearing of women’s underwear. On the day of the rape, he had first exposed himself in his car to a woman who was just getting off a bus. He had previously watched this woman get off the bus at the same time for a number of days. She was tall, well-dressed, and attractive. He experienced intense sexual fantasies of domination toward her. In his fantasy, she began by strenuously resisting him but was overcome by his sexual prowess and the desire it aroused in her.

This day, he stopped the car and opened the door to expose himself, fully naked. She reacted with surprise and fear. He interpreted this reaction as sexual arousal on her part. Stimulated, he drove on but circled back and forced the woman into the car at knifepoint, then demanded that she remove her clothes. She resisted, but complied after he threatened to cut her throat. He fondled her breasts and forced her to perform oral sex. He then attempted oral-vaginal contact but was unable to complete the act because she was wearing a tampon. He ripped out the tampon and flung it in her face. She cried uncontrollably. After he made many attempts to reassure her, saying “I will not hurt you,” her crying subsided. Now she was frozen with fear. He attempted intercourse but ejaculated prematurely after the first penetration. Interpreting her paralysis as quiet acquiescence and a sign of sexual arousal, he gave her his telephone number and dropped her off at the original bus stop.

In his childhood, Mike’s family consisted of an abusive, alcoholic father, a passive, compliant mother, and three older sisters. The father was frequently in drunken rages. In such states, he would beat Mike for minor infractions and berate him as a “loser.” Mike felt terrorized by the father, yet longed for a loving relationship with him. As the youngest of four siblings, and the only boy, he also was subject to secondary abuse: one of the sisters, who had been sexually abused by the father, in turn sexually abused Mike by performing enemas on him. He witnessed the physical abuse of his mother and heard brutal sexual encounters between his parents. From his adjacent bedroom, he would hear his mother crying and whimpering. At other times, he heard her and his father laughing together in bed. He imagined his father hurting his mother and her sexually enjoying it. Unconsciously, Mike identified with his mother as a means of obtaining the yearnedfor love from his father.

As an adolescent, Mike was involved in the vandalizing of cars and homes. He was ignored by his peers. Shy, he did not date, but he began engaging in peeping-tom activities and masturbating while dressed in women’s clothing. He spent long periods of time alone, fantasizing about women undressed and how he would dominate them. In these fantasies, he felt very powerful. In his scenes, the women did anything that he requested, but if they refused, he forced them to comply with his wishes. After their initial resistance, the women would experience erotic ecstasies and become his sex slaves forever. These fantasies of sexual dominance allowed him to compensate for his feelings of alienation and male inadequacy and to fend off his father’s scathing definition of him as a loser.

In school, Mike performed poorly. He was unable to concentrate and left formal education at age 16. He held a succession of menial jobs and then joined the military, where he completed 4 years of service but had numerous disciplinary actions brought against him. He had a brief, superficial courtship with a woman—his first—and asked her to marry him. As the wedding date approached, his exhibitionistic activities escalated. For instance, he would display himself from the window of his apartment or from the taxi he drove. The marriage proved turbulent. His wife drank excessively and berated him for his many real and imagined inadequacies. After receiving emotional bashings from his wife, he felt deflated and depressed. He then would perform exhibitionistic and masturbatory activities in women’s clothes. His relationship with his daughter was distant, and he spent little time with her. It was after a particularly hateful, withering verbal attack from his wife that he raped the woman who stepped off the bus.

Mike’s rape was typical of the compensatory rapist, an acting out of his lifelong fantasy of dominance over women as a means of compensating for his personal limitations and inadequacies. His grandiose fantasy of himself as a compelling sexual object led him to misinterpret the victim’s startled reaction to him as sexual arousal. His passivedependent sexual wishes toward his father and his feminine sexual identification with his mother were projected onto the victim, whom he saw as enjoying his sexual assault. In this acting-out, he psychologically compensated for feelings of fear, sexual doubts, loneliness, abandonment, passive homosexual desires, and his general life failures. Despite knowing that he assaulted and raped the victim, he was so distanced from reality by his fantasy that he gave the victim his phone number, enabling him to be identified and arrested.

The Exploitative Rapist

The exploitative rapist’s sexual behavior takes the form of an impulsive, predatory act. It has far less psychological meaning to the offender and is less a part of his fantasy life than for the compensatory rapist. Exploitative rape is driven by situation and opportunity, rather than by conscious fantasy. The rapist, a man on the prowl for someone to exploit, intends to force the victim to submit. He is not concerned with the arousal or welfare of the victim, or with forming a relationship with her. He may not be sexually aroused as the incident begins, but the situation itself may trigger his arousal. Low-impulse exploiters display sexual behavior in response to a threatened macho self-image. High-impulse exploiters are usually antisocial personalities—psychopaths.

The following example depicts a high-impulse exploitative rapist:

Joe, a 34-year-old engineer, regularly patronizes a bar, where he frequently meets and sexually exploits women. At age 24, he was dishonorably discharged from the army with a diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. Joe has had numerous scrapes with the law, especially for repeatedly writing bad checks. At the bar, Joe meets Lisa, a 20-year-old secretary. In talking with her, he discovers that she has an alcohol problem. Lisa confides that she loses her memory of events when she drinks. Joe reassures her and orders another round of drinks. Eventually, they go to his apartment. Joe presses some more drinks on Lisa. When he attempts to have sex with her, she refuses. Joe grabs a baseball bat and threatens to kill her if she does not submit. Paralyzed with fear, she submits. Joe forcibly performs sexual intercourse. Eventually, Lisa falls asleep. The next morning, she awakens on the couch with no memory of the rape. Joe tells her they had a wonderful time together, listening to music, before she fell asleep.