Bad Son Rising (26 page)

“Lils,” he whispered, needing to get it over with. Her silence was choking him.

She turned to him, her face hard with venom, and his heart sank. He steeled himself as she began to speak.

“I want to kill her, Zac. I want to smash every scrawny bone in her body. I want to rip out her fake hair extensions. I want to force lard down her throat until she chokes.”

Zac’s eyes widened. This was not what he’d expected out of her.

“You were a little boy. She took that from you. I am so fucking sick of everyone taking your happiness from you. I’m sure you didn’t ask for what she did. You didn’t deserve not to go through the normal stages of childhood and adolescence and discovery.” Lily turned to him, “Is this what you meant when you told me you were imperfect?”

He nodded.

“Wow,” she was stunned.

“I’m sorry, Lils. I am really sorry.”

“You should have told me.”

“I was being selfish. I didn’t want to lose you. I wanted a normal relationship with you. I wanted the real thing. I didn’t want this in your head.”

“Did you think I’d reject you if I knew?”

He nodded, “I was afraid you’d see how fucked up I am and think ‘I don’t need this shit’. You are so smart and so pretty and you have this amazing heart and I’m a fuck-up. I’ve caused so much trouble for my family. I’m not the kind of guy that ends up with a doctor.”

“I’m really angry.” She looked at her hands.

Zac’s heart crept into his throat, diminishing his air supply. He had walked into this party with everything he wanted right in his grasp, and less than an hour later, he sat on the bathroom floor watching it all slip away.

Surprising him, she reached over and took one of his hands in hers, slowly running her thumb over it. “I’m not mad at you, Zac. I’m mad about some of the things that have happened to you in your life. I’m mad at things you’ve had to cope with. I’m mad at what you’ve lost. And I’m amazed that you still have a smile for everyone. You’re not going to lose me. I love you.” Her eyes filled with tears, “But Zachary Ian Moore,” she looked up at him, “have you got any more surprises for me?”

“Well,” he thought, better she hear it all from him, “she wasn’t the only one of my mom’s friends. There were more after her and these women talked, so I kind of became the service boy-toy.”

Lily nodded.

“I’m not proud of it and I do see how fucked up it is, and how it’s really screwed me up.”

“Go on.” She had not broken eye contact with him.

“You know why I got kicked out of college, right?”

Lily nodded again.

“Ok, so this is a bad one. The summer I came home from doing a semester overseas, I found out that my parents were getting a divorce and my dad was with Mia and she was pregnant. I hated Mia and blamed her for my parent’s break-up. I got into this thing with her at the L9 opening, and it caused her to fall, and it was really bad. I mean she and Nathaniel could have been killed.”

“Mia seems to have forgiven you,” Lily observed.

Zac nodded and smiled. “I know. I mean I’m closer to her than I am to my own mother, and you know how much I love Natie. Let’s see, not long after that I overdosed and needed my stomach pumped.”

“Were you trying to kill yourself?” Lily was suddenly alarmed again.

Zac laughed, “No. I was being a dumbass. And I think I was just trying to get my dad’s attention to make sure he still loved me.”

“He’s very proud of you.”

“I want him to be proud of me, Lils. I want you to be proud of me.” He let out a deep breath, “I want to be proud of me.”

Liliana squeezed his hand, “I think you’ve let the bad shit dictate who you are, Zac. You need to stop that. You need to rise above it.”

“It just keeps catching up with me, Lil. Like today. I was blindsided by my past, and all I could think was that I wanted to keep her away from you and I wanted her gone. I told her to leave. I don’t want her or my past tainting you in any way.”

To his surprise, Liliana laughed. “You know what I think. I think you’ve just got bad boy stamped in your soul and I need to get used to it. And enjoy the ride.” Standing, she brushed down her dress. Reaching a hand down to Zac, “Come, you’re missing your graduation party.”

Zac scrambled to his feet and looked down at Lily.

“That bitch isn’t ruining your day, Zac. She doesn’t deserve that power.”

Nodding, “You’re right,” and he knew she was.

“And she basically called me fat.” Lily was seething.

Reaching out, Zac cupped Lily’s cheek. Shaking his head no, “Perfect. You are perfect.”

“I love the way you see me, Zac. You make me feel beautiful.”

“Lils, you are beautiful and you know what I want…”

She searched his face.

“When the sun sets, I want to dance with you under the stars on that balcony.” A memory of dancing with Lily under Niles’ light machine tugged at the edges of his memory and heart.

As if reading his mind, Lily’s smile was radiant. “You’re on. Just save the last dance for me.”

“Always,” he smiled back and led her out of the bathroom.

She didn’t run, she didn’t hate him, she wasn’t totally put off by all that had happened to him. Liliana Castillo didn’t hold his past against him. She defended him and took his side.
Mind blowing,
thought Zac.
She’s as protective of me as I am of her.
He understood the desire to protect those he loved. And now he felt loved.

As they walked over to the appetizer table, arm in arm, Lily picked up a piece of prosciutto-wrapped melon and reached up to pop it into Zac’s mouth. Laughing, he picked one up and popped it into her mouth. They were back in their little world together, a place where Zac and Lily were finally able to create their own special moments, their shared memories, but now Zac Moore no longer had to worry that Liliana Castillo would discover his ugly scars. She had seen them, in the harshest of lights, and still loved him.

Today was his day to shine and the following week, along with her parents, they would celebrate again when she received her diploma. The future was upon them and they weren’t going to let robber barons in guises from blonde bombshell cougars to terroristic insurgents have a whack at tearing them apart.

Marit Castillo’s feelings toward Zac Moore were mixed. The handsome young man had saved her daughter’s life, but had also decimated her heart. Her husband, Berto’s feelings were a lot more clear cut. He knew he wouldn’t have a daughter if it hadn’t been for Zac’s quick thinking and bravery. Yes, Lily had been heartbroken by him, but with time, he knew that would heal. Had Zac not been so quick on his feet, there was no doubt in his mind that the insurgents would have killed his little girl after taking turns doing unspeakable things to her.

It also had not escaped Berto that Zac Moore did what he had to do to ensure Lily’s safety and the only way to do that was to make her want to leave a place she had told him and her mother that she had no intention of leaving, even after the attack.

He had asked Zac’s father, Schooner, on several occasions how his son was doing and the response had always been the same, “Physically, he’s healing.” From that comment, Berto had surmised that both the trauma of the event, and the situation with his daughter, had made emotional healing a more elusive and arduous task for the young man.

As Lily and Zac made their way toward them across the lobby of the Omni Hotel, Berto couldn’t help but feel the muscles in his face stretch in an uncontrollable smile. There she was, his beautiful baby, graduating from Yale - with honors, and a smile on her face that matched his.

“Papi,” she closed the space between them at a trot.

“Sweetheart,” holding her tight, he could feel his heart fill with the overwhelming love he had felt from the first time he held her.

Zac stood a few feet away, observing, smiling at the reunion taking place before him. Liliana was definitely daddy’s little girl, and Dr. Roberto Castillo was a very proud papa. Zac wondered how he felt about another man being the new focus of his daughter’s affections.

As Lily moved on to her mother, Berto smiled warmly at Zac. Zac moved forward, his hand outstretched, but the older man was having no part of the formality as he heartily embraced him.

“Congratulations on your graduation and on your acceptance to Berkeley.”

“Thank you, Dr. Castillo.”

“Berto,” he corrected with a smile.

Marit’s welcome was pleasant but aloof, making Zac wonder if that was just her nature or if she harbored ill feelings toward him, having nursed her daughter through a devastating heartbreak.

“Papi, we’re eating right next door to the hotel. You’re going to love it, it’s called Barcelona. Tapas and paella.” Lily was beaming, as she slipped her arm through her father’s and led him across the lobby and out onto the street.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Marit began. “Have you fully healed?”

That’s a loaded question,
thought Zac. “I have,” he smiled as he looked directly into her eyes. “Thank you for asking.”

“It was very traumatizing for Liliana.”

Nodding, “I know.” Zac wanted to tell her that he did his best to protect her, but he got the distinct impression that he was not her favorite person and that she did not want to hear it.

With a chilled bottle of Raul Perez’s Sketch, a heady intense Albarino from the north of Spain poured into their glasses, Berto Castillo raised his glass in a toast, “To my little princess, tomorrow you become a graduate of Yale, and soon you will begin the next segment of your journey as you start medical school. From the time you were just a little girl, you’ve always been single-minded in your pursuits and passions. When you make a decision, there is no talking you out of it.”

Under the table, Zac squeezed Lily’s hand and she turned to him with a smile.
She makes my heart pound
, Zac thought, as he shared in the pride.

Berto continued, “We are so proud of you. You have grown into such a lovely young woman and I know I can’t even begin to imagine all that you will achieve in your lifetime. Just know that we are honored to be your parents.”

Lily was nodding her head, too choked up to speak.

Surprising them all, Berto shifted his gaze to Zac and continued his toast. “None of us would be here today if it were not for you. I have not taken the opportunity to say this to you, as it was something I wanted to do face-to-face, and knew that I would at some point have that opportunity. What makes it even more special, is that opportunity is here and you are by my daughter’s side. On behalf of both me and Marit, thank you for ensuring Liliana’s safety. Your willingness to put yourself in harm’s way, and literally lay your life on the line to save her, I just don’t even have the words to thank you. Your actions, in that moment, say everything I need to know about you as a man.”

“Thank you, Berto.” Squeezing Lily’s hand under the table, Zac was moved by her father’s words. “We were in a bad situation. It was immediately clear to me that I needed to cause some kind of diversion that would create the opportunity for Lily and the kids to sneak out unseen. When I look back, the whole thing just seems surreal. Like I’m watching some kind of movie with 3-D glasses.”

“Lily came home with a broken heart.” Marit Castillo was clearly not sold on her daughter’s handsome love.

Zac nodded, as he made direct eye contact with her. “I know. I hated what I had to do. But I couldn’t leave her there without me. I wasn’t going to leave her there without me. As I saw it, get her to leave with a broken heart, but be safe, or have her stay there and put her life in jeopardy. Although it was a very hard thing to do, the decision was easy.” He still had not broken eye contact with her mother. “I wasn’t leaving her there,” he repeated.
Your daughter came home to you, alive.
He wanted to say, but held his tongue.

Berto Castillo sat back in his chair regarding the younger man and nodding. “You did the right thing. The honorable thing.”

Zac nodded back, glad to have her father’s approval. It appeared that Berto understood the sacrifice to Zac, the multiple sacrifices, that he had made to ensure Lily’s safety at the risk of his own life and at the expense of his heart. The older man continued to regard him with warm brown eyes, and Zac could feel the gratitude emanating from him. He understood. He knew the lengths Zac would go to, the things he would sacrifice to protect Lily. Without a word spoken between the two men, the message was implicitly clear. Dr. Roberto Castillo had given Zac Moore his blessing.

Smiling down at her in her cap and gown, “I can’t believe this gown is made of recycled plastic bottles.” He ran his hand down her arm gently, feeling the smooth material.

Lily breathed in deeply, his touch, even through the material, made her shiver.

Seeing her reaction, he bent down to kiss her, “I’m so proud of you and so happy you decided to go back to school after everything.” Pulling her close into his side, Zac took in the Gothic buildings surrounding the Saybrook courtyard, glad he had this moment to share alone with her, before her parents arrived.