Balls Fore (Ball Games #4) (8 page)

‘I can see a Rose bush.’

‘Does he know roses have thorns?’

‘Yes but he might forget.’

‘Beth. Let him learn. I don’t mean remove the fireguard and let him burn himself, but if he scratches himself on a thorn, he’ll learn to be careful.’

‘Are you going to teach me how to be a parent?’ she snaps.

‘If I think it calms you down a bit, yes,’ I snap back.

‘I’m sorry.’ Beth lowers her eyes. ‘This is hard for me. I’m not used to sharing.’

I know Beth is an only child, so this goes back further than her and Trey.

‘Well let’s just enjoy our drinks in the sunshine and watch Trey.’

I’ve bought him a paddling pool and filled it with plastic balls like they have in Camille’s play centre. I expect Trey to dive into it, but instead, he reaches for one ball at a time and throws each one as far as he can in the garden. Then he takes off at a sprint, falling over one and landing on his bottom. His face contorts with laughter and he shouts, ‘splat’, looking at his mum.

‘Splat,’ she shouts back and laughs.

I tilt my head towards her. ‘Splat?’

‘I make a joke of most of his falls so he doesn’t become mardy,’ she explains. ‘If he yells splat, I know he’s okay. If he cries, then I’m aware he’s really hurt himself, rather than just wobbled over.’

‘Right.’ I rub my forehead. ‘There’s a lot to learn.’

‘I was thinking,’ Beth says quickly. ‘After lunch. I thought we might go to Meadowhall if you’d drive us there. There are two toy shops near each other. You could take Trey to them if you like, or any other shop, it doesn’t have to be a toy shop. I could have a coffee and let you two be by yourself. You’d need to keep hold of his hand.’

‘Really? I’d love that.’ I don’t realise I’ve put my hand over hers on the garden table until I feel her tense up. Her body stiffens.

‘Sorry,’ I withdraw my hand and pick up my beaker. ‘Do you want a refill?’

She shakes her head. ‘Thank you for thinking of plastic beakers. So many people give me a glass. Often they give Trey a glass if we go out to eat. That’s why I always take a beaker for him.’

‘Good to know,’ I say and head back to the kitchen.

My God. She’s letting me be with Trey on my own for an hour. This is huge progress. I’ll need to borrow her bag. Funny, I realise I don’t give two hoots that I’ll be carrying a bag covered in a multi-coloured flower pattern. While I remember, I head upstairs to get my camera. I want to take photos of Trey in the garden. When I return, he’s on his mother’s knee clutching a packet of raisins. Beth strokes his hair as she smiles at him. I snap a few photos before she notices I’m back. Then I kick a football with Trey and show him golf moves with an identical set I’ve bought for my house. My camera never gets a break. I can’t stop taking pictures. These need to last me until midweek.

‘What time do you want lunch?’ I ask Beth.

‘Trey usually eats at twelve-thirty? Is that okay?’

‘Sure.’

‘What are you feeding us?’

‘I didn’t know what Trey ate, so I bought a selection of things. Also, I could make him a sandwich. There’s salad, and I bought sausage rolls and hot dogs.’

‘Well, they’re usually party food, but your son adores sausage rolls and hot dogs, so if you do him a cheese or ham sandwich to go with it, that would be fine for him today.’ Beth reaches into her bag and pulls out a pad and pen. ‘I’ll write you a list of his likes and dislikes. Sorry, I never gave it a thought.’

‘I’d appreciate that. Thank you.’

‘S’okay.’

‘What would you like for lunch?’

‘Anything.’

‘So is spare ribs, spicy fries, coleslaw and salad okay.’

Her breath hitches. ‘That will be fine.’

We went out for a meal just once in our short relationship. That’s what she ate. She knows I remember. I excuse myself to fix the food.

‘Oh damn.’ Beth bites her lip.

‘What?’

‘You need a car seat. We can’t take Trey in your car without one. Sorry, Leo. Looks like shopping will have to be another day.’

I place a hand on my stomach. ‘No. You stay here. I’ll get one. Relax in the garden with Trey. I’ll be as quick as I can.’

‘You sure?’

‘Yes.’ There’s no way I’m giving up the chance of time on my own with my son.

There’s a shopping centre not too far away with a store that sells car items, bicycles - that sort of thing. Within fifteen minutes I’m out of my car and browsing the aisles.

Group 1, Group 2, Group 3. What the hell? Isofix compatible? Front-facing, rear-facing? What is all this jargon? I’ve walked into yet another world with a whole new language. I can feel myself grow hot.

‘Can I help you?’ asks an Assistant.

‘Yes please.’ I almost fall on her with gratitude.

Beth

Well, what would you do if you were left in the house of your ex alone? I gather Trey up and snoop around. The rooms are all very plain. It’s clean and functional but lacks depth. There are no pictures on the walls. No personal items such as photo frames. I tentatively enter Leo’s bedroom. Trey tries to wriggle out of my arms and he weighs a tonne, but I tell him we must be careful and I’ll put him down for a moment. I’m not sure what I expected to see in Leo’s room. Maybe I was secretly hoping he’d have a photo of me in here? I exhale, annoyed at my own stupidity. Trey starts to whine and attempts to lean out of my arms to grab Leo’s alarm clock, which is shaped like a large golf ball. The one single item that gives some clue to the man who lives here. I quickly take him back downstairs. Once back in the garden, he soon forgets what he coveted a few seconds before. Or so I believe.

Leo returns, a triumphant grin on his face.

‘Got it. It’s all in place. So are you ready to go?’

‘Yes, of course.’ I stand up from my garden chair. ‘Trey,’ I shout. ‘Time to go out to the toy shops with Mummy and Daddy.’

Trey runs over quickly at the mention of toys.

‘Ball clock.’

Shit.

Leo looks at him and then at me, a crease forming on his forehead.

‘What’s he saying?’

I wave my hand. ‘I’m not sure. Sometimes toddlers make no sense at all.’

Trey runs inside. Leo and myself go rushing after him. He points up the stairs.

‘Want Ball Clock toy.’

Leo looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

‘Sorry.’ I mutter.

‘I’d have done the same,’ he says and laughs.

Leo

I drive us to Meadowhall. Beth heads into a coffee shop as planned. She passes me what I call the survival bag and repeats herself for the hundredth time. I must hold his hand. That Trey must hold my hand. Do I have her number? There are several other instructions before she eventually kisses Trey, telling him to have fun with Daddy and lets us leave.

‘Shall Daddy buy Trey some Lego?’ I ask him walking into the shop.

Trey’s eyes light up as he’s assaulted by multi-colours. I quickly realise that nearly everything in the store is too old for him. After a few pouts and stamping feet, he’s satisfied when he has a bag of Duplo in his hand that’s almost as tall as he is. I realise I’m going to have to assert some authority with him some time or Beth is going to get annoyed. However, I figure I’ll be forgiven today as its part of the activity. While the young woman behind the counter scans the item, she talks to Trey.

‘Is this for you, sweetie? What a lucky boy.’ She beams at me.

‘Raisin.’ Trey yells at the top of his voice.

‘Excuse me.’ I tell the assistant and put my flowery bag on the counter to get him a box. I hand them to him.

‘No.’ He throws the packet on the counter.’

‘You said raisin.’ I ask bewildered.

‘There. Raisin.’ He points.

I follow the direction of his finger, which is pointing at the other assistant behind the counter. She has a dark mole on her cheek. Our assistant is trying her best not to laugh. ‘Trey. Look at your Lego.’ I try to distract him.

‘Raisin. There, Daddy, raisin.’

The other assistant turns a bright shade of red but doesn’t look at us. I’m mortified that she knows exactly what Trey means. I guess it’s not the first time it's happened. Picking up our purchases, I once again state loudly, ‘Here you go, Trey, your raisins.’ Then I hurry us out of the store before he can say anything else.

If I think that’s the end of my embarrassment - it's not.

In the Disney Store, surrounded by other parents with very young children, Trey sticks his thumb in his mouth. He then pulls it out super fast and yells. ‘I’m fucking my sum.’

Parents heads spin around so fast I’m surprised they don’t fall off. I see one cover their child’s ears.

I look at Trey completely confused. Where has he learned that language? I can’t believe Beth’s taught him those words.

He sticks his thumb in his mouth again, sucks on it and pulls it out. ‘I’m fucking my sum.’

Suddenly I realise. Fucking my sum, sucking my thumb. He’s transposing letters.

‘Aren’t you clever
s
ucking your
th
umb,’ I pronounce the words slowly. I see relieved faces from other parents around me. Thank God for that. I buy Trey a talking Woody and a Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story and leave the store as fast as I can.

We head back to the coffee shop. We’ve only been forty minutes.

‘Mummy. Mummy.’ Trey yells.

Beth stands up as we reach her. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah. Fine. I’ve spent up.’

Beth looks at the two gigantic bags in my hand.

‘I know.’ I tell her. ‘I’ll learn to reign it in.’

‘Well, if you find the secret, let me in on it.’ She winks. ‘I can never help myself. Just one more thing, I think.’

‘So we have a spoiled son?’

‘Kind of.’

‘Well, there are worse things in life.’

‘True.’

‘Do you want a coffee?’ Beth asks.

‘Yep, I certainly do. I’ll get it. Let me get Trey’s drink out for him. I open the bag and extract his beaker. ‘There you go Trey.’

‘Well I’m very impressed,’ Beth tells me. ‘For a first attempt, that seems to have been a success.’

Trey pulls his thumb out of his mouth as he takes the beaker. ‘I’m fucking my sum,’ he yells loudly.

Beth fixes me with a stare and a raised eyebrow.

‘I’m going to get my drink,’ I tell her and hurry off to the counter.

Chapter Eleven

Camille

We’re two months on and my mother is about to bang Beth and Leo’s heads together.

‘It’s so bloody obvious they’re in love with each other. Have you seen them? Every time one turns away the other one stares at them. They’re driving me insane.’

‘Now you know what we all feel like,’ deadpans my dad.

‘Yes, Mum, but it’s their business. Things are going well. The counsellor is pleased with their progress.’

‘Counselling. Huh. Leo should have saved his money. I could have put them straight. He could have paid for a honeymoon with it instead.’

‘Dora, you are going too far again. The counsellor is qualified to get them to work through the issues the last three years have thrown at them.’

‘You need to stop going to the clubhouse with Leo. I don’t think you need any more lessons.’

‘I like Leo and I’m enjoying his lessons. He says I’m more mime artist than ice sculpture now, I’m developing fluidity.’

‘Only fluidity you’re developing is your bladder being full after too many pints in the clubhouse. Stop ringing your son for a lift home. He’s got his own life now.’

‘I don’t mind, Mum.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘Can we please get back to the matter in hand?’ I tell them. ‘That is. Progress is being made with Beth, Leo and Trey and that’s great. Leo’s having him for a full overnight soon.’

‘
Yes.
’

We all turn towards my Mum.

‘Do you know what Beth needs?’ She’s nodding her head. Oh God. Another Mother idea.

‘Peace and quiet?’ I say.

‘A night out. A lovely night out at a club where she can let her hair down. A night where she can be hit on by complete creeps and realise what she’s got in front of her face.’

‘What if she meets the love of her life?’ I ask her.

‘In a nightclub? Doubtful. Anyway, you’ll be with her, ready to get rid of anyone who seems nice.’

‘Mum, I don’t want to go clubbing.’

‘So you don’t want to help your friend?’

‘That’s not what I said.’

‘Fine.’ My mum raises a hand. ‘Maybe it’s a jealousy thing. You don’t want to see your friend happy because then she’ll have a partner and a child and be in front of you in the whole peer group pressure stakes.’

‘I would be pleased for my friend.’

‘So you’ll do it then?’

‘Oh my God, all right, Mum. Just one night.’

‘One night. A horrendous night out. Get her drunk and make sure she’s surrounded by idiots. Get her on the dance-floor. Then somehow, I need to get Leo to come to her rescue. Hmm.’

At this point, my dad picks up my mum’s giant Yorkshire Pudding with his fork and stuffs it in her open mouth.

‘Give it a rest.’ He tells her. ‘You’re an employee in her professional business, not part of her personal business.’

Mum grabs the pud and puts it back on her plate.

‘And it’s going extremely well, my involvement in her
professional
business. From strength to strength in fact. My chocolate willies make their professional debut at a hen party next Friday night.’

‘Lindsay threw my chocolate boobs in the bin. Said I was making her feel inadequate. Women are weird,’ adds Tyler.

Chapter Twelve

Beth

Too many mornings now I’ve woken up in a sweat after dreaming of a tangled sheet tussle with my ex. This has got to stop. Too much time has passed. I need to focus on Leo being a dad to Trey. So it’s perfect timing when Cam calls and asks me if I want to go clubbing with her. I remember what my nan used to say. The best way to get over one man is to get under another.

So here we are. It's Friday night and Dylan has dropped us off at Snake in Sheffield City Centre. Fridays are half price cocktails and free entry so I’m already on my second Cosmo. It's time to dance my heart out and forget the stresses of the last few weeks.