Bang Up: Prison walls don't just keep criminals in, the keep the outside world at bay (34 page)

Smithy was in a predicament now. Yes, he’d help stitch Mikey up with a few illegal objects in his pad but he was asking much more of him, something that he didn’t want any part of. Mikey sank behind his door and his shoulders shuddered, there was so much emotion, he was falling apart. Everything was falling into place now. All the snidey comments his mother had made over the years, all the times she’d told him his father was a bad man, it all made sense now. So why did he need to see him, why did he want to hold his old man in his arms and tell him everything would be alright? To tell him how much he loved him. His head was all over the place, head spinning, mind racing. He roared like a caged lion and banged the back of his head on the cell door. This was the real Mikey, the child inside him crying out for somebody to help him. He’d lost everything that ever meant anything to him. His girlfriend was gone, the father he craved and all the memories he held inside his head meant nothing anymore. It was all shit, a crock of shit and lies. Mikey dragged at his skin as if it was diseased, pinching, biting at it. Small wounds started to appear on his skin, bright red blood oozing out. Mikey placed a single finger inside it and scrawled the word “help” on the door in his own blood.

*

Rachel was coming round, her eyes were swollen and she could barely see. There was a dark figure sat facing her, a big, round, tall figure. “Wakey, wakey,” the voice sneered. Rachel’s head wobbled from side to side, blood trickling from her top lip. She was injured and her body was weak. “Who are you, what do you want from me?” The man’s voice was chilling, his identity still hidden away under his baseball camp. “I told you I would be back one day didn’t I?” 

Rachel took a deep breath and tried to focus on the features she could see. “I don’t understand, Gary is that you?” Her attacker moved a few paces forward and knelt down near her. She could see him now. The baseball cap fell from his head and he pulled his hoody down. Rachel strained her eyes, she was confused. “I always pay my debts Rachel. No one ever gets one over on me. You wronged me remember that.” 

This was all too much for her to take, she started to cower into the corner. “I don’t know who you are, please, just leave me alone.” 

His voice was louder now, powerful, as he watched her shaking like a leaf. “I cried for you for months, years even. I cried my eyes out and you just moved on. We could have been happy, you said you would wait for me.” 

Rachel moved her hands away from her face and studied her attacker further. Her back was flat against the wall and her eyes wide open. She knew this man, she knew his voice and she’d loved him once. 

“John,” she gulped. 

This was bad, he always said he would come back for her but why had nobody told her he was out of jail? The authorities should have informed her, a phone call, anything. They knew the script with this man and knew he was a serious danger to her. But Rachel had moved about, changed addresses, she was hard to find at the best of times. No wonder the police couldn’t find her. She had to do something, calm him down. “John, it wasn’t like that. You were away for years.

I got mixed up in all kinds of shit and no one was there to protect me. I needed you and you left me.”

John Pollock snapped and his voice shook the room. “I was in a prison cell you daft slag, rotting away while you was shagging every Tom, Dick and Harry. You said we were forever, ‘always’ you said, you dirty slapper.” His words were slow and meaningful. 

If Rachel got out of here alive she would be a lucky woman. “John, I know you’re hurt but please, don’t do anything you’ll regret. We can talk about this, put it behind us. We can even be friends again.” 

She’d taken him by shock now, he didn’t know if he was coming or going. He punched a clenched fist into the side of his head. “No, no, you’re not getting inside my head anymore. I have a job to do and I don’t care if I spend the rest of my life in prison. I will make sure you pay for the way you dumped me.” 

Rachel could see a spot of hope in his eyes. She couldn’t just give up, she had to try to save her life. “John, I never stopped thinking about you. I loved you with all my heart. I never stopped loving you if I’m being honest with myself. Let me make us a drink and we can talk. We had some good times me and you, happy memories, remember?” He was listening now and she seemed to be calming him down. “Our Mikey treated you like his dad too, he respected you. It broke his heart when you went to prison. None of us ever forgot you.” John broke into a gentle smile and she knew she was starting to get through to him. She carried on. “Do you remember our trip to Blackpool? You were a right shit-bag on the roller coaster. I had to hold your hand, you were like a big baby.” 

John sank to the floor and sat facing her with his knees held up to his chest. “I’ve been watching you for months. Planning your fate.” 

Rachel gagged into her cupped hands. So, it was him, she really did have a stalker. “Why didn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t you just ask to meet me? We could have sorted stuff out.” 

“Because, you’re rotten to the core. Always have been, always will be,” he roared. This guy was up and down, one minute he was calm and the next he was snapping. “No, no, shut up talking about how things used to be. You’re trying to get inside my head, just like you always did, shut the fuck up. Keep quiet before I end your life now.” He threw an ashtray over at her head that missed her by inches. He’d lost the plot. “I’m here to make you feel pain, just like I did. I’ve had this in my head for so long now, I can’t just walk away. It’s payback time.” Rachel was fucked, the clock was ticking, she was living on borrowed time.

*

Mark opened Mikey’s door and he was genuinely upset. He never expected things to go this far and felt remorse for his actions. He was a good guy really, a big heart, would do anything for anyone. His voice was low and regret started to sink in. “Mikey, can I have a word?” The prisoner rolled onto his side and the screw could see his eyes were red raw. His voice was low and Mikey had no fight left in him. Mark began to speak. “I’m sorry. I’m just like you really,” he edged inside the cell and closed the door behind him. Nobody could hear this conversation, nobody must know exactly what this man had done. “You’re just like me Mikey, if I’m being honest and you were right when you said just because I wear a uniform it doesn’t make me any different than you. You would make any man proud to be your dad, you just got lost that’s all. Just like I did. We’re peas in a pod.” 

Mikey was listening and swung his legs to the side of the bed. He snarled over at the screw. “I thought you understood me, you know what it’s like inside; you have to stand tall otherwise you’ll fall flat on your arse. Do you know when I found my dad again I really thought I’d turned a corner. That I had something back in my life that I loved. How can I ever have that dream now knowing what I know? It’s just like everything else in my life, it’s fucked up. Fucked.” 

Mark choked up and his eyes clouded over. “No, honest, given the chance you can be fixed. I’ve worked with lads like you, I know you can be fixed in time. Let’s start again and let me be the officer I was when I first joined the prison service. I’m going to get help for my fucked up head too. I can’t go on the way I have been doing. It’s a mess.” Mikey was watching the screw like a hawk; did he believe a word he was saying? He was a bent bastard and out to get one over on him. Mark continued as he gasped his breath. “Here’s my hand Mikey, let’s shake and start again. I’m sorry for all I’ve done to you but come on, you’ve given me a hard time too.” 

Was this a stalemate, was the war finally over? Mikey swallowed hard and for the first time ever he let his guard down. He had no fight left in him and nothing seemed to matter anymore. The two of them shook hands and it looked like a fresh start was on the cards. Mikey was still upset and spoke in a soft voice. “Just one thing I need you to do for me.” Mark was alert and aware this could be the straw that broke the camel’s back. He hunched his shoulders waiting on Mikey’s request. “Just take me to see my dad. Once I’ve spoken to him I swear to you I’ll never ask you for anything again. I’ll just get on with my jail.” 

Was this such a big ask? Mark searched deep inside his heart and nodded. It was the least he could do to right the wrongs. He raised a soft smile and patted Mikey’s shoulder. “Yes, I can sort it. Just give me an hour or so and I’ll sneak you over to the hospital wing. Ten minutes though, tops. And if anyone sees us, you tell them you’re coughing blood up or something.” 

Mikey snivelled and collapsed back onto his bed. His head was mashed and nothing was making sense anymore. Mark walked to the door and just before he left he turned his head back. “Everything’s going to be alright. I’ll fix things, honest.” Mikey was alone now. His head was pounding and the smack he got over his head was throbbing. Holding his hand on his napper, he pressed down on it firmly and his expression changed. This lad was hurt badly, why didn’t he tell anyone and get some medical help?

*

Rachel hadn’t moved. She was glued to the spot and still shaking. Night time had fallen and not a light was on inside the house. She could still see the whites of his eyes though. Yes, he was still there, watching every movement she made. Her throat was dry and her voice was husky. “John, can I get my cigarettes? I’ve not had one for ages, come on, don’t deny me a smoke. We can share one if you want, just like we used to?” 

John never replied, he just reached inside his pocket and popped a fag out of the packet into the corner of his mouth. Once he lit it he sucked hard, both cheeks sinking in at the sides. A thick cloud of grey smoke filled his face, but she could still see him, still see his menacing eyes. Once he’d had a few blasts of it he stumbled over to where she sat. Holding the cigarette up to her mouth he pressed it firmly inside her cold purple lips. Rachel moved her hands quickly and took hold of it. She could smell him now, taste the evil. John leaned nearer to her and lifted her hair up into his hands. He was sick, demented. John sniffed her hair as if he was getting some kind of kick from it. Rachel pulled away from him and held her head against the wall. She was never one for being a victim and today was no different, she had to be strong, she had to fight back. Her lips moved slightly but not a sound came from her mouth. He poked his finger into the side of her head. “You ruined it all. We could have been happy, so happy.” 

Here it was, there was no way she was holding back anymore. “Give your head a shake, John. We were in love at the time but you ruined it. You chose crime over me, so if anyone should be upset here it should be me. I asked you not to go on that job. In fact, I begged you on my bended knee. Have you forgotten that?” 

“I did what I did for us, a chance of a better life.” 

“No, you did what you did for you. If you loved me, like you said you did, you would have never left me that night. How do you think it felt telling our Mikey that you were gone? He looked up to you, he never stopped asking me when you were going to come home.” 

This struck a chord with John and for the first time he was hearing her side of things. “Rachel, I’ve just told you why I did it. I didn’t know the job was on top did I?” 

“Well, you took the chance of losing me the minute your feet left the house.” Rachel sat up straight and he was the underdog. Rachel gritted her teeth tightly together and growled at him. What the hell was she doing, she was dicing with death here? “Go on, if you’re going to kill me, just fucking do it. I can’t be arsed with all the commotion. Do you think I’m arsed about dying?” 

John was on the spot, he didn’t know what to do. His intention was to harm her, make her feel pain but now he was sat here with her, his mindset had changed. “I’m not going to hurt you Rachel. I just needed to see you. If I would have just pulled you in the street you could have

rang the dibble. I’ve never got over you, I never will.” 

Rachel stood up, her legs were stiff and her back had ceased up. She stretched her stiff body out. “I’m putting the kettle on, you want one?” 

John watched her plod about, he was mesmerised by her, totally smitten. Rachel walked into the kitchen and she rummaged inside her pocket for her mobile phone. Her hands were shaking and she knew she could have been attacked at any time. She just managed to ring the emergency services when she turned quickly, he was behind her, his hot breath down the back of her neck. Rachel fell to the floor as the claw hammer smashed into her head. Her legs shook for a few seconds and her body was lifeless. Her eyes were still open, staring into space. John stood hovering for a few seconds and gripped the hammer tightly in his hands. He bent down and lifted the woman he’d once loved in his arms. “The debt is paid,” he whispered. Rachel Milne was dead.

*

Mark led Mikey across the dimly-lit landing towards the hospital wing. He paused on the corridor and kept his voice low. “Be quick, remember ten minutes, not a second longer. I’ll get fucked if you’re found on here.” 

Mikey walked a few steps forward and turned on the spot. He inhaled and nodded his head towards Mark. “You’re alright you are. I got you all wrong.” Mikey crept into the room where his father was lying. The room was eerie and he could see the shape of a man lying in the bed with thick white bandages wrapped tightly around his head. He stood looking over at him. His words were stuck in his throat, he took a few seconds to get them out. “Dad, can you hear me?” he whispered. Dennis stirred in the bed and groaned. Mikey stayed on the same spot and stretched his neck out. “Are you okay? I’ve just come to check you’re going to be alright. I know what you did and I can’t be part of your life anymore. The more I think about it the more I hate you. So I’m going to walk away from here today and you’ll never see me again. You’re a wrong-un and you make me sick in the pit of my stomach. I loved you dad, but, I can never be part of you ever again.” Mikey edged closer to the end of the bed and his hand stroked the bottom of the sheet. Big fat bulky tears rolled from his eyes. This prisoner was broken and he had no words left to say. He was done.