Bang Up: Prison walls don't just keep criminals in, the keep the outside world at bay (32 page)

Sarah sat listening to her and waited until she could get a word in edgeways. “I’ve got to study for my exams. It’s doing my head in, honest it’s stressing me out. Night and day I’m at it, nothing seems to be registering. My mind is a blank.” 

Rachel slurped at her drink and she could have done with a blast of nicotine before she delivered the bad news. She took a deep breath and here it was, the betrayal. “Sarah, our Mikey has been on the blower. He was on for hours last night. He’s asked me to talk to you.” 

Sarah sighed. “Didn’t you give him my new number yet, he’s not rung me. I should be first on his list, not you.” 

“Yeah, course I did but he thinks it’s better if he doesn’t speak to you.” 

Sarah froze, she looked confused. “What do you mean by that? Rachel, don’t start all this again because if you are trying to make us split up it’s not going to happen.” 

Rachel touched the top of her hand and stroked it slowly. She dipped her eyes. “Sweetheart, this is so hard for me to say to you and I know it’s going to break your heart but it is what Mikey wants.” 

Sarah held her breath and a red rash started to appear on her neck, itchy, irritating. “What’s happening Rachel, you’re scaring me now, just say what you have to. Don’t beat about the bush.” 

Rachel looked out of the window and closed her eyes for a split second. The words were on the tip of her tongue. She just had to pick her moment. Act like she cared. “It’s over. Mikey wants you to find somebody else. He thought he loved you but he’s been talking to a girl while he’s been in the nick and he thinks he’s fallen in love with her.” 

Sarah’s eyes were wide open. Was she hearing her right? No, this was just a wind-up for sure. “Shut up lying Rachel. You’re so funny sometimes. As if Mikey would ever do that to me. We’re in love.” 

This was so hard and Mikey’s mother was struggling. There was no other way to say it, she had to tell her straight. The details would let her know how serious it really was. “He met her on Facebook and she’s been up to the nick to see him quite a lot. I know you don’t want to hear it but that’s why he’s not been having you up all the time to see him. I knew something wasn’t right with him you know, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.” 

Sarah slammed her hand down on the table, she wasn’t taking this lightly. “Are you for real? Is he really seeing somebody else? What about our plans for the future? The promises we made...”  Rachel tried to comfort her but Sarah pushed her away. “I know love, I know. I told you a long time ago that things change when you’re locked away and he said he’s realised that you two will never work out. You’re from different walks of life, you see. Mikey will always be a criminal, he realises that he can’t change who he is for you. It’s all too much.” 

Sarah was holding back the tears. Her mind was spinning and nothing was registering. “What, and some other girl can make him happy? Give me his number. I’ll ring him myself. This doesn’t sound like him one little bit.” 

Rachel had to dig deep and it was killing her inside seeing Sarah hurting like this but she had a job to do, she had to dig deeper. “The girl he’s seeing was one he met when he was out of prison. It kills me to tell you this but she’s pregnant.” What a horrible bitch Mikey’s mother was! There was no need for this, she was destroying her. Sarah welled up and tears rolled down her cheeks. She sat watching the rain outside the window and never said a word. Rachel tried to put a hand on her shoulder for comfort but she moved her away as if she was diseased. 

Sarah sobbed, her shoulders were shuddering. “He’s broken my heart. I loved him so much and this is the way he’s treated me. I would have waited forever for him, done anything to make him happy. You know that don’t you?”

Rachel agreed and tried to console her. “I know you would have love but now you can move on and find somebody new. Someone who deserves you,” she rolled her eyes and sighed, “because, let’s face it, our Mikey would have wronged you sooner or later, it was just a matter of time. Men are like that Sarah. I’ve been there, got the video and bought the t-shirt. Nothing lasts forever and if you believe happy endings are real, then you need to give your head a shake. Cinderella has a lot to answer for. There are no Prince Charmings in this world. They’re all cunts the fucking lot of them. Always cheating with other women and keeping secrets. Never trust a man love, ever.” 

Sarah snapped. She still believed in true love, it still existed in her eyes. It was something beautiful and magical. “They might be the kind of men you meet, but not me. I believe in love and Mikey was all I needed. Why has he done this to me? Go on! Tell me why! When I gave him my heart. I gave him everything!” 

Rachel was stuck for words. How could she answer this? But, she had to do the job, make sure she left Manchester for good. She had to make sure she put Mikey behind her. She flipped and upped her game. “You’re talking out of your arse, woman. I wasn’t going to mention this but you need to know so you can move on. Mikey brought girls back to our house loads of times and, if we’re laying all the cards on the table here, I’ve heard them having sex too.” There was no need for this, it was such a brutal blow and totally uncalled for. She was destroying her. How could she say something like that? Sarah was devastated and Rachel was kicking her while she was down. Sarah wafted her hand in front of her face, she was having some sort of panic attack. Rachel was concerned for her wellbeing and took her outside to get some fresh air. “Come on love, take deep breaths. It’s just the shock that’s all. You’ll be fine soon. Breathe, come on, take deep breaths.” 

Sarah gripped hold of Rachel’s coat and ragged her about, she was hysterical and not in control of her actions. “I bet you had something to do with it. You’ve never liked me from day one. Well, you’ve got what you wanted. Fuck you and fuck your son.” Rachel’s mouth was wide open. She’d never heard her talking like this before, this was another side of her that she’d hidden away. “Mikey will regret losing me one day. I hope him and his little family will be happy together. I’ve got hopes, I’ve got dreams and he can kiss my arse if he thinks I’ll ever have him back after he’s shoved it up someone else.” Sarah was gasping for breath but she still had more to say. “And you’re not much better either, you two-faced cow! How dare you sit in the same room as me when you knew he was unfaithful all along? You have no morals woman. You should be ashamed of yourself.” 

Rachel had heard enough and she wasn’t letting anybody speak to her like this. She owed her nothing. “Whoa, keep it shut before I shut it for you. Don’t shoot the messenger. I’m only telling you what I was told to. I know you’re upset but don’t start to take it out on me. Life goes on, just deal with it.” Rachel was showing no compassion whatsoever but what did Sarah expect? Rachel was never one for holding back. She shot straight from the hip and didn’t mince words. “Anyway, I’ve told you now, so there is nothing more to say. It’s not like we’re friends is it? If we’re being honest here, we only put up with each other for Mikey’s sake. You’re not my cup of tea and you never will be.” 

Sarah was holding her own and she was livid. “Don’t you think I didn’t know about you? Do you think for one single second I enjoyed your company? You knock me sick and no wonder your son hates you. Yes, he told me that. What kind of worthless piece of shit leaves her son to fend for himself when he’s only a child.” 

That was it, Rachel had heard enough. She twisted her hands inside Sarah’s hair and dragged her around the back of the café. There was rustling, groaning and the sound of feet scraping the floor. “Don’t push me Sarah,” Rachel screamed. “I’ll scratch your fucking eyeballs out if you carry on. Go on, fuck off out of my life and leave my son alone. I’m glad it’s happened. I’m buzzing he’s finally fucked you off. You thought you were too good for him anyway. It was only a matter of time before he carted you.”

Sarah was wriggling to break free and she was stronger than Rachel first thought. She was giving as good as she got. Mikey’s mother had bitten off more than she could chew for sure. Sarah grabbed her hair and swung her around like a rag doll. Rachel lost her footing and the tide turned very quickly. It was Sarah’s shout now and she was straddled over Rachel ramming her finger deep into her cheek. “Don’t you worry, I’m gone. I’m glad I don’t have to look at your pathetic face any longer. You deserve everything that’s coming your way. You’re an evil woman, do you hear me, sick in the head!” Sarah spat at her and started to walk away. 

Rachel sprang to her feet and took a few seconds to find her bearings. “Go on, run back to mummy and daddy you posh bitch. You need to learn to stand on your own two feet you do, learn the hard way like I fucking did.” 

Her words fell on deaf ears, Sarah was gone. Rachel straightened her hair and dusted the thick brown mud from her jeans. She was genuinely upset and had to take a few seconds to regain her thoughts. “Fuck, fuck,” she mumbled as she stamped her feet on the floor. She never intended for things to get this bad but she had to do it, she had to make sure Mikey had his money on his release date. Everything in life had a price and she would do anything to make sure her son had a chance of a better future. Rachel’s head was in bits and she was in no mood to go to her mother’s house anymore. She was filthy and needed a wash. A quick text to her mother soon sorted that out. So what, she’d moan but she could handle her. Rachel was going home to clean herself up. All that was left now was to tell Mikey the same thing. It would hurt him, she was sure of that, but he was made of stronger stuff and in a few weeks he would back to normal. 

*

Mikey flicked through Facebook on his iPhone. Potter was at his side and he was loving every minute of the social network. “Add her, send her a message. Ask her to come and visit me,” Potter shrieked. 

Mikey sniggered and scrolled through everyone’s posts.. “Just chill, I’ve already got a few birds on the go for you. You can’t rush in and seem too eager. The ladies love a bad boy so cool down and stop stressing.” Mikey held the phone from his face as it started to ring. “It’s my mam, fuck me what’s she doing up at this time it’s nearly two in the morning.” Without wasting a second more he answered the call. Rachel sounded distressed and Potter could hear every word she said. Mikey’s expression changed and he ragged at his t-shirt. “How long has he been here for? Is this for sure, it might just be gossip?” Potter was hanging on every word and he could tell by his pad mate’s body language that something was not right. He moved back over to his own bed and dragged his duvet around his shoulders. Mikey finished the call after a few minutes, with all the colour drained from his cheeks. He punched a clenched fist into the wall and banged his head against it repeatedly. 

Potter had to say something, he couldn’t just sit there like a prize prick. “Mikey, is everything alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Mikey didn’t reply straight away, he just sat staring into space. As he spoke his bottom lip trembled. “Sarah’s binned me. She’s found somebody new. What the fuck is going on? She said she loved me?” 

Potter was lost for words. What could he possibly say that would take the pain away? Heartbreak was a painful emotion on its own, but locked away behind bars the love he’d lost was going to be a hundred times worse than it would have been on the outside. Mikey pulled Sarah’s photograph from the wall and dragged the cover over his head. Nobody could ever see him like this. He was strong and fearless. He had a name to protect. Potter could hear sobbing sounds from where he lay and he knew better than anyone that this lad could switch at any second. He was keeping well away, he never muttered a word.

*

Mark marched two inmates along the landing with their belongings. Smithy watched from his office and he could smell a rat. He stretched his neck out hoping to get a better view. No inmate got moved during the night shift. This was something that happened during the morning shift. The prison was already on lockdown and the guvnor was already going ballistic as to how a prisoner could be beaten to near death and nobody had seen a thing. Dennis Milne was barely breathing when a screw found him, he was hanging on for dear life. The briefing earlier that week had made Smithy even more suspicious about his work colleague and the way he was acting. He knew he was hiding something. He barely spoke to him anymore, he was always jumpy and looking over his shoulder. Smithy watched from the shadows and kept a low profile. He flicked the light off in his office and stood taking everything in.

Mark opened the door to the new pad for the lads. “Right, get your heads down and let’s see a few faces drop on here tomorrow morning when you raise your ugly heads out onto the landing. Mikey Milne will shit a brick for sure. Like I said, I want you to make him suffer. I’ll give the nod when it’s right to take him down. Promise me you won’t fuck things up!” 

Davo threw his belongings on the bed as Brendan stuck his head through the window. “My word is my bond. But don’t make me wait too long. I want to do it sooner rather than later.” Mark stood frozen for a few seconds. He knew what he wanted and everything had to happen slowly. The other officers had to see Mikey slipping down the ranks, they needed to see he was no longer the daddy on the landing.

*

Mikey checked Potter was asleep at the side of him. The night was a lonely place when someone was upset. He looked over at the night sky and tears ran down the side of his cheek. Perhaps he could call for a listener. The prison service always had someone on hand to talk to when inmates were feeling low. Would it help him though? It still wouldn’t bring his girl back, it was pointless. Sarah had fucked his head up big time, he genuinely loved her. Okay, he acted like she was the one who was doing all the running when in fact he loved her with all his heart. But how had he allowed himself to fall in love, let his guard down? As a rule, he never gave his all in a relationship. He’d seen so much heartache over the years and always promised himself he would never put himself in that position. Only fools fall in love. Mikey paced the cell with a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. He needed to speak to her. The rejection was killing him inside. He knew it was a big ask for her to wait for him but it was her that said she would wait forever. What a lying slut she was! She was no different to the other girls he’d met. She’d probably met one of her own kind. Yes, a guy with money and a fancy car. He’d blow it up if he had the chance, torch the bastard.