Barbarian's Taming: A SciFi Alien Romance (Ice Planet Barbarians Book 9) (12 page)

Annnnd yeah, I really need to tell my sister about Hassen.

I swallow the knot of worry building in my throat, and sign to her.
I’m glad you’re back. We need to talk.

Is everything okay?

I regret that I’ve said something. Like, immediately. The weariness on Lila’s face seems to increase tenfold, and now she looks stressed. Am I stressing her out? I stifle the flash of irritation that I feel. I’m stressing
her
out? I’ve taken care of her ever since our parents died. I’m the one who’s had to be in control. I’m the one who’s had to choke back my fears and be the strong one. We’re both in new emotional territory and I need to learn to be patient, which isn’t one of my strong suits. But since I’ve already jumped the gun, I might as well plow forward.
You didn’t see Hassen when you were walking back, did you?

No, and I’m glad. I’m still not comfortable with him.
Her expression hardens just a little.

Her words feel like a brick in my gut. Telling her about this was a mistake. It’s too fresh. She won’t understand. Heck, I’m not even sure I understand it myself.

Why? What is it?
Lila looks concerned.
Has he been bothering you? He’s supposed to be exiled as punishment.

He’s not bothering me
, I gesture back.
It’s just…
I pause, and then continue.
We’ve become friends.

Her eyes widen with alarm.
Maddie, no. Don’t be friends with him.

It’s okay, Lila. We talked about why he stole you. He’s really sorry, and it wasn’t that he was in love with you. He just wanted a mate.

And that’s why he wants to be your friend right now! He’s using you because you’re available!

That’s not it
, I tell her, and then drop my hands. It’s not, is it? I sought him out, not the other way around. Even as I tell myself she’s wrong, I worry. Hassen was so desperate for a mate that he tried to steal one. And then here I come, flinging myself at him. Maybe it’s not about me and him bonding and being friends as well as fuck-buddies. Maybe it’s just about him trying to grab himself another mate.

I think about the fact that he more or less proposed to me after we slept with each other, and decide not to share that with my sister. Actually, I decide I’m not going to share a lot with my sister. The look of horror she’s giving me tells me plenty.
We’re just friends
, I sign.
Don’t freak out.

You need to stay away from him, sis. I lived with him for weeks. I know what he’s like. He’s impatient and overbearing and…
She waves her hands in the air, clearly at a loss for words.
He is not a good man! I don’t want him taking advantage of you!

Oh, that is so
cute
. Considering that I took advantage of Hassen the moment he decided to hang out with me, my sister has the wrong one pegged as a predator.
Seriously, we’re just friends. I just wanted you to know, okay? So there wouldn’t be any surprises.

I’m going to speak to Vektal and tell him that he’s hanging around bothering you,
Lila signs angrily.
It’s not right.

Don’t you dare
, I send back just as quickly, and her eyes widen at my vehement gestures.
Don’t you say a thing!

What is going on?

Nothing. Okay? We’re just friends!

You didn’t resonate, did you?

Fuck no! I just feel bad for the guy, all right?

How can you feel bad for him? He stole me! He tried to force me to be his wife!

Yeah, and he lost everything. Heaven forbid a guy wants to fall in love and take care of a girl.
I stop myself even as I think it. Am I having Stockholm syndrome on my sister’s behalf? Hell, is that even possible?

I’m really confused. I get to my feet.
I think I need some time to myself.

But I just got back
, Lila gestures, hurt in her eyes.

I give her a quick bear hug.
I know, and I’m a horrible sister. I’m sorry. We’ll talk later, okay?

She nods, mystified, and blinks her big eyes at me in that wounded way. I feel like an asshole. I’m abandoning my sister just as she got back from her trip so I can go talk to Hassen and try to figure out why I feel so mixed up. I should hang out with her. She hasn’t been here for days.

You haven’t been around her for days because you weren’t invited
, a seditious little voice in my head says.
At least Hassen wants to spend time with you.

That decides it.
I have to go
, I sign to her, and pat her shoulder. I leap to my feet and head off, gathering my furs close to my body. There’s an extra wrap by the entrance on a drying rack, and I snatch it and wrap it around my shoulders. Everyone at the entrance is busy chatting and exclaiming over what’s in the bags. No one’s going to notice me if I sneak off, hopefully.

I move along the cliff walls, wincing with every crunching step, waiting for someone to yell at me to come back, to ask me where I’m going. No one does, though. They’re too preoccupied with all the goodies Lila and her crew have brought back. I slip away, my steps hurrying despite the calf-deep snow, and crest over a ridge. After that, I’m home free. No one’s going to chase me now.

Time to find Hassen and get some answers. Or to just vent at how confused I feel about my sister. And about him.

Really, I’m pretty mixed up over everything. I don’t know if he’s the person I should go pouring my heart out to, but right now I feel like he’s the only one that will truly understand how I feel.

There’s a copse of trees over the next ridge where we normally meet. I’ll head there and see if he’s nearby. I don’t have a weapon with me, but it’s not a far walk and I can wait for him. He’s bound to come by at some point.

I hope.

Something feels tight on my face, and I swipe at my cheek. It’s ice. I’m crying, and my tears are freezing on my face. Shit. Why am I crying? Is it because I feel like my sister’s even more distant than ever? That I’m jealous of her and her happiness and the fact that everyone freaking loves her while I’m the town leper? Is it that I’m suddenly the one who needs looking after and I resent that? Is it because she hates Hassen and I feel like I have to choose between her happiness and mine?

How did this all get so complicated? I press my fingers to my cheek, warming the tears until they melt away.

I
wait
at the trees for what feels like forever. It’s probably only a half-hour, but it feels like eternity. There’s nothing around except snow and more snow. No animals, not much vegetation, and certainly no Hassen. The wind tears at my clothing and my exposed skin, and I feel very alone and small and vulnerable.

And lost. Lately I’ve been feeling very, very lost, and I hate it. I’m tired of feeling this way. I’m tired of feeling like everyone’s got their shit together but me. Even right now, I’m out here in the wild with a damp wrap that’s not keeping me very warm, no snowshoes, and no weapon. If that’s not idiotic, I don’t know what is.

My frustration mounts by the minute, and I’m just about ready to bail out and head back to the cave when a figure appears in the distance. I see big shoulders, horns and lots of blue skin exposed, which means it’s one of the sa-khui. When he starts racing toward me at a breakneck speed, I figure it’s Hassen.

And stupid me starts weeping again. All the frustration seems to be seeping out of me in girly, wimpy tears. I hate that. I’m not a crier. That’s not who I am. I’m strong, damn it. I’m capable. I’m not…

Not like Lila. And Lila’s happy.

And that just makes me blubber even more.

“Mah-dee!” Hassen races to my side, running his hands over my arms and then touching my face. “You are cold. Why are you out here? Who is with you? Where is your spear?”

“I’m here by myself,” I say, swiping away the tears that keep freezing on my face. “I needed to talk to you.”

“With no
weapon
? Mah-dee, you must think before you leave the cave! It is not safe—”

“I know,” I cry out, swatting away his hands as he tries to cup my cheeks. “Okay? I know! I get it. I suck at taking care of myself. That’s not exactly headline news.” I dust away more of the tears that seem to keep coming.

He frowns down at me and puts a finger under my chin, tilting my head up. “Why do you cry? What is wrong?”

“Oh, you mean other than everything?
Everything
is wrong?”

“Why is everything wrong? You must tell me.” He rubs a knuckle along my jaw. “I do not like to see you cry.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t like crying, either.”

Hassen tugs my coverings closer to my body, and then his breath hisses. “Mah-dee, this is wet—”

“Yes, I know! I’m shitty at surviving. I know this! I just…I had to escape before the guys noticed me again.”

He grabs me and hauls me into his arms, not in the romantic way that heroes carry fainting heroines, but like a mother carries her child. “I am taking you to the nearest hunter cave and we are going to get you something warm to wear, and then we are going to talk.”

“Okay,” I say in a sniffly, whiny voice. I put my arms around his neck and bury my face there, except when I do, I bang my forehead on one of his down-curling horns. Typical. Even Hassen’s trying to kill me.

We’re silent as he moves through the snow, heading unerringly for one particular cave that we tend to visit a lot. The walk seems like it takes forever, and by the time we get to the cave, I’m trembling with cold, the furs I’m wrapped in feel soaked, and I’m miserable all around. He ducks into the cave, shoving aside the screen over the entrance, and then gently sets me down. He rubs my arms and legs with his big, warm hands, stripping off my wet furs. The look on his face is full of anger, though, so I don’t thank him. I don’t think he’ll appreciate it. He grabs one of the bundled furs and cuts the ties with his knife, then flings it around me.

I know I’m in the doghouse when he then moves to the fire pit and begins to make a fire. If I’m cold enough to warrant a fire and then we have to replenish the fire-making supplies, I’m so going to get an earful from him.

“I’m sorry,” I begin, but he shoots me an irritated look that makes me go silent again. Okay, if he’s not in a talky mood, I’ll just sit here and shiver. I clutch the blankets closer and feel pretty sorry for myself at the entire situation.

It takes a few minutes before the fire catches, but eventually there’s a little flame going and Hassen scoops me up and drops me next to the fire like I’m a child. He adjusts the furs wrapped around me, tucking my feet under them, and then rests on his haunches, pausing to glare at me. “Why are you out in wet furs? Explain.”

“I told you.” I shift on the floor, a little uncomfortable at his angry scrutiny. “I had to sneak out when no one was paying attention.”

“Are the others back? I thought I saw their tracks.” His expression darkens. “Are they being cruel to you?”

“Only if you count trying to smother me with gifts and attention cruel, I guess.” I wiggle my bare toes and dig them into the furry underside of the blankets, because, okay, it does feel much better than my snow-wet boots.

“Gifts? Attention?” As I watch, his mouth draws into a scowl. “Who is giving you gifts? Bek?”

“Not him.” I shake my head. “Vaza gave me some tea, and every time I turn around, Harrec’s trying to feed me, and Taushen’s trying to be my new best friend. I mean—”

He growls.

I’m so startled by the sound that I stop talking. He actually growled. Just like a rabid dog…or a bear. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he snarls at me. “Any others?”

“Any others what?”

“Any others courting you?”

“Fuck, I sure hope not.” The thought makes me miserable. “I can barely sneak away as it is.”

“No more sneaking,” he tells me, tucking the furs closer. “It is clear that you cannot take care of yourself.”

For some reason, that really hurts. I burst into fresh tears. “You asshole. N-n-now you s-s-sound like Lila.”

He snorts and takes one of my cold hands and grips it in his, rubbing it to warm it. “Your sister has learned how to set a snare and build a fire. That is all. Do not let her words tear you down.”

Actually, my sister never said those things. Lila is too sweet and kind. She would never willingly harm me. And so now I feel worse because I’m making Hassen think bad things about her. “She is my sister. She’s just trying to look out for me because she wants me to be happy,” I sigh. “And I’m not happy because I don’t fit in.”

Though I don’t point out that I’ve been happy in the week that she’s been gone, because it makes me feel worse. I don’t want to think that I can’t be happy around her. I need my sister in my life. I love her. I’m just not sure we’re on the same page anymore.

When we first crashed here, I didn’t panic too much, because I had Lila. I had to be strong for her. Now Lila doesn’t need me, and the overwhelming feeling of losing everything is starting to mess with my mind. Now that she’s back, I feel like I’m losing Hassen, too. I stare at him, hurting. This might be the last chance I have for a while to be alone with him.

I can’t waste a minute.

I fling myself forward, grabbing at his vest. “Let’s have sex.”

“What?” He stares at me, incredulous.

“Right now. I want you.” I push him backward, straddling his hips. I run a hand down his chest, desperation mixing with lust. I forget all about being cold, about being miserable, about my sister. All I want is this moment with him. I want him inside me, pushing deep, and making me think about nothing but him and pleasure.

Hassen hesitates for a brief moment, and then he grabs me by the hips, flipping us over. He claims my mouth in a hungry kiss, his tongue a searing bolt as it spears into my mouth. I cling to him, whimpering as his hands rip at my leggings. I tear at his, too, because I need his skin against mine. I need his body.

I need him.

His fingers push between my thighs, and when he finds me dry, begins to rub a slick, slow path up and down through my folds. Oh, god, yeah. It’s amazing how he knows just what I need. I wrap an arm around his neck and kiss him with even more intensity, wanting to show him how good he makes me feel. I run my hands along his shoulders and down his spine, and when his tail flicks against my hand, I grab it the next time it comes close and give the underside a rub.

He hisses, and it’s like I’ve uncaged a wild animal. He’s ferocious with hunger, and his fingers press into me, thrusting hard. I gasp and twist my hands in his hair, not sure if I’m stopping him or egging him on. All I know is that we need to come together before we both explode.

Then his weight is shifting on top of me, and he’s pushing my thighs further apart. It’s stretching the seams of my leggings, but I don’t give a fuck. I need him. I ignore the soft tearing sound of the leather bunched at my knees and kick at it. “Get these off me,” I tell him. “I want to wrap my legs around you when you fuck me.”

Hassen breathes my name, and his hand leaves my pussy—damn it—to help me get the rest of my leggings off. Then he’s surging over me and I feel his cock press against my core.

“Yes,” I tell him. Oh, yes.

He’s not done torturing me, though. He slicks the head of it through my juices, then drags it up and down my folds, like his fingers were doing just a moment ago. I’m practically coming off the floor, it feels so amazing. All this because I touched his tail? I need to do it again. I reach for the wildly flicking appendage, and when I manage to snag it, he thrusts into me, and his spur settles against my clit. Oh, fuck. He doesn’t play fair.

“Your cunt is so tight, Mah-dee,” he tells me, rubbing his nose against my cheek as he slowly pushes deeper. “It is where I belong, is it not? Deep inside you?”

Dirty talk. Dear lord. I’m helpless before it. I cling to his tail, my other hand scratching up and down his side, looking for purchase. I want to touch him everywhere and make him feel as crazy as he’s making me feel, but all I can do is wrap my legs around his thighs and clutch at his tail like a loon.

He thrusts into me, and my entire lower half lights up. It’s the combination of big, ribbed dick and spur that does it to me every time. By his third thrust, I’m clenching up around him and lights are flashing behind my eyes. By the time number six rolls around, I’ve gone over the edge, lost to the immediate and violent orgasm ripping through me. Of course, Hassen never thrusts just six or seven times. He goes a lot longer—sometimes I think it’s just to see if he can kill me with his dick. At least, that’s what it feels like—death by delicious orgasm. He covers me with his body, and I feel his bumpy forehead press to mine as he strokes into me, over and over again. Then he’s coming, and I can feel the heat of his spend wash over my insides. He shouts my name as he comes, and I feel a ridiculously girly sort of pleasure hearing that, even as I come all over again.

Hassen rolls onto his back, and instead of moving off of me, he holds me in place, and then I’m lying on top of him, his cock still deep inside me. Our bodies are slick where they’re joined, and I can feel his come on the inside of my thighs. He holds me close, though, panting, and gently brushes the hair off my brow. The look on his face is pure contentment, and for a moment my heart squeezes and I wish he wasn’t the asshole that kidnapped my sister. I wish there was no baggage between us and he was just another faceless hunter in the mix. Then maybe I wouldn’t be so reluctant to pleasure-mate.

But I suppose if things were truly like that, we never would have come together in the first place. Because Hassen would have gone on the hunts with the others, and I would have still felt like lonely, lost Maddie. Funny how the only time I don’t feel lost is when I’m with him.

He plays with a few strands of my hair and then raises his hips in what feels like a slow, delicious thrust. “Do humans mate in this position?”

“Yup.” I put my hands on his chest and prop up. He feels hard and ready to go again, which is insane, considering he just finished a minute or so ago. “If you can think of it, humans have tried it.”

“Mmm.” He twines my hair between his fingers and then regards it, the gold stark against the blue of his skin. Then his gaze focuses on me. “Tell me more about the males bothering you.”

I skim my hand over his chest, teasing his rock-hard nipples. That’s one sa-khui trait that’s taking me some getting used to—nipples you could scratch glass with. But it’s strange, because on him, they seem right. “It’s not important.”

“And your sister?”

I don’t want to think about Lila. I’m too confused when it comes to my sister. “She’s not important, either.” I rock my hips over him. “Right now, all that is important is you and me.”

His eyes gleam, and on that, I see we are both agreed.

I haul a large dvisti carcass over one shoulder as I head toward the tribal caves. The large kill is more than duty—it is a peace offering and a show of strength all at once.

This day, I will go to my chief. I will show him that I am a strong, capable hunter. I will tell him of the tireless work I have done to feed the tribe, of the many caches I have filled while in exile. I will tell him of the endless traps I have set and let him see that I am a strong and worthy hunter. Despite spending my days with Mah-dee, I have been hunting at night to ensure that I do not slack; now, when I feed the tribe, I feed not just companions and family, I feed Mah-dee.

It has been two long days since I have seen my mate, and I keenly feel every moment. Even though I made her swear not to go to the trees and wait for me, I still check there regularly, just in case. My Mah-dee is passionate and loving…but she does not listen to orders well. But she has stayed away, and I must believe that it is because the cave is full once more. She cannot slip out to see me.

I expected this.

I did not expect to be gutted by it. Even now, the ache of her absence gnaws at me. My mate should be at my side, in my furs. She should be in my arms at night, pressing her small face against my chest and holding tightly to me. I should be at her side, giving her more lessons on how to hunt and take care of herself, and comforting her when she is sad. The fact that I cannot be there for her makes me crazed.

I think of Vaza, and Harrec, and angry, fierce Bek—are they comforting my Mah-dee? Offering to dry her tears with gifts?

I bare my teeth as I think it, and my steps speed up.

Today, I go to my chief and demand he end my exile. The brutal season will be here in a few hands of days, and I want to make a cave with Mah-dee. She is my mate, even if we do not resonate, and I must care for her like any good hunter.