Barefoot in Lace (Barefoot Bay Brides Book 2) (22 page)

So much easier than talking about his past and his pain.

“It is serious.” He stroked her hair, sliding it behind her ear. “Can you handle serious?”

“Maybe. Probably. Did the kissing alley just become the confession alley?”

He didn’t answer, but pulled her into him, dropping his forehead against hers. “I need to tell you something, but I’m not sure.”

“Not sure of what?”

“Of whether I want everything to change. It might guarantee that you won’t come to my bed at midnight, like I’d hoped.”

She fought a smile. “Is that what you hoped?”

“Yes.”

The single syllable elicited a tiny intake of breath from her. “Oh, well. What are you going to tell me then that could change that?”

“I want you to let me take your picture—”

“What?” She laughed. “In bed at midnight? Is that what you’re into?”

“No, tomorrow in broad daylight. As one of the models in the LaVie campaign.”

Total shock, mild confusion, and something that might have been amusement flickered in her eyes. “Excuse me?”

“It’s not the real shoot,” he said quickly. “It’s a test. They want to test using non-models and regular women, like you. I showed them that picture on my phone—”

“You
did
?”

“—and the client went crazy, and they all decided we needed to try it, and since we have the shoot and equipment set up for tomorrow, we’re going to test a model and a non-model, who would be you.”

She opened her mouth, then shut it again, a move he was used to by now. Then she closed her eyes, dropped her head against his chest, and started laughing.

“Gussie?”

She chuckled harder, finally lifting her face to show tears of mirth in her eyes.

“Did you hear me?” he asked. “Do you understand what I’m asking?”

“Yes, I heard you. No, I don’t understand.”

“Then why are you laughing?”

He braced for the inevitable response.
No way! Are you out of your mind? I told you I don’t like my picture taken!

She angled her head with a great big smile. “Okay.”

“
Okay
?”

“Yes,” she laughed. “I’ll do it. Freecation means free of everything, including my stupid hang-ups about having my picture taken. It might be fun.”

Oh, God, why had he doubted her? “It will be fun,” he assured her. “Because everything with you is fun.”

Her eyes sparkled at the compliment, then that light faded. “Now that sounded serious again. Like it’s killing you that you have fun with me. Why?”

Because he wasn’t going to fall for her. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He
wasn’t
.

“Nothing’s killing me except the fact that we have to walk all the way home and figure out a way to sneak into my room without Alex knowing so that I can…” He lifted her face and looked at her.

“So that you can what?” she urged.

Not fall for her.

But it might be too late.

“Take a guess, Pink.”

* * *

Alex stared into the bathroom mirror, a little shocked at how pale her face was even after a day in the sun, how big her eyes looked, how really
young
she looked at that moment. Too young? No, not too young for this. But way, way too alone.

Momma always said it would happen when you least expect it, when you’re not even thinking about it, the whole thing would catch you by surprise. Well, this certainly had
not
been something she’d been expecting when she came to France.

Still, it happened, and now she had to figure out what the heck to do about it. Tell Miss Annie? No, Alex would die of embarrassment. Lizzie? She might be too young to understand. Maybe her mom hadn’t told her all about it yet.

She gripped the sink and looked at her reflection, seeing her mother’s eyes and not her own. God, she’d give anything, anything in the world, to walk out of this bathroom and into Momma’s arms and say, “Guess what happened?”

She’d probably want to eat ice cream, because Ruthie Whitman had celebrated all things with ice cream. She closed her eyes, tears threatening at the thought.

“Alex?” Miss Annie tapped on the bathroom door. “Gussie texted that they’re almost back from dinner. Do you want to call her and tell her you’re spending the night with us?”

No way she was spending the night now. Gussie wasn’t Momma, but she was the next best thing. She opened the door slowly and gave Miss Annie a smile, wondering if anything was obvious.

“Are you okay, honey?” Guess it was obvious.

“I’m just, you know…”
Missing my mother.

“Homesick?”

“A little, so I don’t think I’ll stay tonight.”

“What?” Lizzie came shooting out from around the corner, her freckles bright with the day’s sunburn. “Eddie set up that Monopoly game Mum found in the closet. You have to stay.” Her voice grew whiny, and instantly Miss Annie had her arm around her daughter. “You’re tired, darling, and so is Alex. She has real jet lag from America.”

“Are you leaving?” Eddie came into the hallway then, a lock of his blond hair falling over his brow, making him so cute Alex had to squeeze her hands into fists.

She nodded and nearly melted when he smiled.

“So, we’ll see you tomorrow then, right?” He seemed eager and confident at the same time, like he had all day.

“Prob’ly,” she said.

“Oh, I think I hear them now,” Annie said, turning away to head to the front door. “Come along, Alex.”

Lizzie threw her arms around Alex’s head, her constant enthusiasm wearing a little thin right then.

“Until tomorrow, bestie!”

Alex laughed and looked past Lizzie’s head to meet Eddie’s gaze. His lip curled in a half smile, like they were sharing an inside joke about Lizzie’s over-the-topness. “Tomorrow,” he mouthed, making Alex’s stomach flip like it did at the top loop on the Hulk at Universal Studios.

“I have to go,” Alex said, disconnecting from Lizzie’s tight squeeze. She hustled out to the living room, where Miss Annie stood at the door talking to Gussie and Uncle Tommy. As soon as Alex walked up, Annie stopped talking. Could she
know
? Could she be telling them? Oh, God, she’d die if her uncle knew.

“Oh, here she is now,” Miss Annie said, stepping aside to make room for Alex.

Gussie and Uncle Tommy stood in the hallway, waiting for her. For one flash of a second, Alex felt like they were her parents, who’d come to pick her up at a friend’s house. A longing so real and powerful nearly strangled her.
If only.

“Hey, Alex.” Her uncle’s smile was easy and, at least now, seemed real. “Did you have fun?”

Like a dad would ask. But he wasn’t her dad, and he never would be.

“Yeah.” She glanced at Gussie, trying to silently communicate her desperation with her eyes. “Let’s just…go.”

While they said a quick round of good nights and thanks, Alex slipped out and got next to Gussie, quietly tugging her arm toward the apartment, just as she would have if her mother had been there.

Thank God, Gussie immediately got the message, speeding things along and heading toward their apartment, giving Alex a closer examination while they waited for Uncle Tommy to get the key and unlock the door.

“I need to talk to you,” Alex mouthed behind him, darting her eyes toward the hall to their rooms, hoping that communicated that the talk had to be
alone
.

Gussie nodded and patted Alex’s arm, which only made the lump in Alex’s throat grow about six inches bigger. Why couldn’t this be Momma?
Why
?

“I’m going to help Alex get ready for bed,” Gussie said quickly, earning a surprised look from Alex’s uncle. Who could blame him? She was long past the age of needing to be tucked in. In fact…

Remembering what she had to tell Gussie, Alex hoped that he bought it.

“I’m going to have a nightcap on the balcony,” he said. “If you want to find me later.” They shared a flash of a smile, and everything became instantly clear to Alex.

Maybe she
should
have stayed overnight with Lizzie. But no, she couldn’t. Not now.

With Uncle Tommy gone, Gussie led them both into Alex’s room, quietly closing the door, then giving her an expectant look.

“What happened?” she asked.

Alex’s knees almost buckled. She so
got it.
She got it, and that was like being handed a pile of gold. Emotion welled up and choked her again, but this time, Alex didn’t fight the sob that threatened. She was so grateful to have Gussie. What would she have done if this had happened and she’d had no one to tell?

Gussie launched forward to hold her. “Alex, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?”

Because I miss my mother!
She tamped down the obvious answer and hoped Gussie understood. “I’m b-b-bleeding.”

Gussie gasped, inching back to search her face and body. “Where? What happened? Are you…” Her words trailed off as she finally read Alex’s look.

Just to make sure it was clear, Alex pointed a finger…down there.

“Ohhh.” Gussie dragged out the word, then her eyes widened. “First time?”

Alex nodded, still working not to cry.

“You know about this, right?” Gussie asked.

“Oh, yeah, my mom told me everything. I know what it is, but…”

“But it’s still a shocker the first time.”

Alex exhaled with relief. “It’s just so…
red
.”

Gussie smiled, taking Alex’s hands. “Do you have anything?”

She shook her head. “I rolled up some toilet paper, but…” A little panic rose. “What do I do? You’re not going to tell my uncle, are you?”

“God, no.” She started to step away with a look of determination, then stopped, putting her hands on Alex’s shoulders and slowly guiding her to the bed. “This must be hard for you. First time, and you’re a million miles from home and your…your mom’s not here.”

There went the waterworks again. “Yeah,” she admitted. “I really…”

“I know you miss her,” Gussie finished, and her own voice hitched. And her eyes misted up, which only made Alex want to cry more. “Oh, you poor thing.” Gussie pulled her all the way into a hug, which was nothing like Lizzie’s but everything like Momma’s. Warm and tight and utterly secure.

“I thought I wet my pants laughing,” she admitted. “But then I went to the bathroom and…”

“Well, at least you were having a good time.”

Alex felt a smile pull. “I was flirting with Eddie Stone.”

“Ah.” Gussie’s eyes twinkled. “The cute boy.”

“Yeah, but I had to get out of there.”

“Of course you did. Now let me see what I have for you in my room.” Gussie got up, but before she left, she leaned over and kissed Alex on the head. “I think I’m supposed to say something about how you’re a woman now and maybe some drivel about the fact that you can have babies, but if you even think about that, I’ll have to kill you.”

Which meant she cared. Alex almost collapsed in half at the thought. While Gussie disappeared across the hall, Alex pulled up her knees and gave herself a little hug. This was going to be fine, even without Momma. This life was going to happen, without Momma, and there was nothing she could do to change that.

For the first time, that thought didn’t make her want to tear her hair out and scream in misery. For the first time since Momma died, a spark of…of something…flickered in her heart. Hope? Maybe that was it. Gussie gave her hope that life could be near normal someday.

Gussie breezed back into the room, carrying two different pink and blue boxes. “I have options,” she announced. “We can start with one and work our way up to the other. Tomorrow, I’ll sneak out and get you something different if this isn’t comfortable or working. Oh, that reminds me. Your uncle signed me up to be a model in his campaign.”

Alex took the boxes, but her physical predicament was suddenly forgotten. “
Huh
?”

Gussie laughed. “I know, right? Listen, you go do what you need to do. And I’m going to tell him—”

“No!”

She grinned. “That I’m not going to stay up any longer.”

“It’s okay.”

Gussie reached to stroke Alex’s hair. “Would you feel more comfortable if I hung out in here until you fall asleep? Would that make you feel better?”

For a second, Alex couldn’t breathe. She closed her eyes and put her head down and simply couldn’t breathe. It was stupid that she wanted to say yes. Immature and babyish. It was her period, for crying out loud. Everyone knew it was coming sooner or later.

“Alex?”

“Yeah, I would.” The words were rough on her throat and pride, but she said them anyway.

“Oh, honey.” Gussie folded right down on her knees and wrapped both arms around Alex’s waist. “Don’t worry. You’re not alone in this.”

Alex nodded and put her cheek on Gussie’s head, giving back the embrace. Without thinking, Alex hugged hard, like she would have if it were her own mother. As she stroked Gussie’s head, her fingers suddenly hit the smooth skin where most people had hair.

“Did you say you’re going to model for the water ad?” The question popped out so fast, Alex couldn’t stop it. And immediately regretted that. They both knew why she sounded surprised.

But Gussie laughed. “I’m praying for a hat, a wig, or really good Photoshop. And I’m not actually going to model, just be a test subject for them.”

“It’s so cool that you would do that.”

“Cool or crazy. Will you come along or do you want to stay and flirt with British Boy?”

She giggled. “I want to come.”

“All right, I’ll go tell your uncle and then I’ll be back. You go take care of things and don’t be afraid. Of anything.”

For the first time in a long time, she wasn’t. “’Kay.”

When she left, Alex stayed on the bed, staring at the boxes that seemed so foreign in her hand, but familiar, too. Her mom had used this brand.

“Momma,” she whispered, digging her nail into the cardboard box. “Thank you for sending her.”

Chapter Seventeen

They ended up in Cannes after a forty-five-minute limo ride through the Riviera, which would have been enough of a thrill, but the final destination was a high-end studio where movies and commercials were made, including promotions for the famous film festival. So Tom told them to expect a top-of-the-line crew and stylists, all connected to a huge set that took up two picturesque city blocks.