Bargaining for the Billionaire (12 page)

She had to or she'd never know. Not knowing would eat away at her soul, but how would this weekend end? They'd done this before and failed. She was finally on her way to letting him go, to healing. All she'd wanted from “Dave” was a little carefree fun, to take her life back.

Knowing it was Grayson was something else. He was a heady lure. She couldn't deny anymore that she still loved him. If this weekend ended as badly as the last, she'd have to learn to live without him for a second time. All the last three years without him had proven was that she didn't know how to do that.

But she'd never know what it could have been like between them unless she tried. He'd come over tonight and shared his pain with her. She knew firsthand that wasn't easy to do, but he'd laid his heart on the line. Deep down, she couldn't deny herself this chance. She couldn't find it in her to deny him, either. Knowing she'd hurt him was another heap on the pile on her soul. Had she done this to them? Was this distance between them her fault?

Decision made, she drew a deep breath for courage and prayed she wasn't about to get her heart ripped out.

“Okay, but the entire weekend is too much. I'm not ready for that. Not yet. One night. I'll give you one night.” He didn't say anything, and the silence grated on her already raw nerves. Finally, unable to stand it, she spun to face him. “Gray, say….”

The words died in her throat. Having gotten up and crossed the room, Grayson now stood directly behind her. He towered over her, and once again she was faced with the center of that luscious, broad chest.

Following the muscles upward to his face, her gaze met his, and he flashed another of those tender smiles, melting her knees all over again. “You're a stubborn woman, you know that? If one night is all you'll give me, I'll take it. For the record, though,
if
we become intimate, it won't be unless you want it. I'm afraid what I want is something a bit more complicated than great sex.”

Caught in his presence, in his closeness, in his scent swirling around her head, she could only blink at him for a few seconds. She wasn't sure if she remembered to breathe. Had she just agreed to spend the night with him? The thought sent a thrilling little shiver down her spine, settling hot and delicious between her thighs.

She shook herself out of her stunned stupor and swallowed, finding her tongue. “And what's that?”

“I want this.” If at all possible, his eyes darkened more, glinting with a hunger that stole the breath from her lungs as he touched a finger to her chest, right over her heart.

Not giving her time to react, to think much past dragging in oxygen, he shifted closer, until the heat of his body infused hers, and leaned his head down. His breath was warm in her ear, blowing softly against her neck.

“I won't deny I want you, though. I can't forget the feel of you, hot and slick around me, gripping my cock when you came. The way you shook in my arms.” He let out a quiet groan, and a tremor moved through him. “God, you have no idea how erotic that was for me. I want to eradicate every bad memory you have, baby. I'm a firm believer sex and intimacy go hand in hand. I don't do casual sex. Never have. There are ways to pleasure someone, to be
intimate
with someone, without sex, and I aim to show you every single one.”

He had the audacity to nip at her earlobe, sending a shower of sparks flooding her body, then straightened. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, long enough for her to melt into the warm familiarity of him. Then he turned and snatched his shirt from the couch, pulling it on as he headed for the front door.

Shirt in place, he turned to face her. “Saturday. Six o'clock. My place. I'll cook. I'll text you with the address.”

She could only stare for a moment, heart thundering in her ears. His place. She'd never been to his condo before. God help her.

She swallowed past the lump of nerves caught in her throat. “Can you do that? Cook, I mean?”

“Show up and find out.” He winked playfully, then disappeared out the door, closing it softly behind him.

B
y the time Saturday night rolled around, Maddie's nerves were shot. Standing in what essentially was Grayson's backyard, she paused to draw a breath and calm the frantic beat of her heart. As it turned out, he lived on Lake Union, in one of those neat little houseboats she'd seen the last time she and Hannah had spent the day on the lake. It was a regular neighborhood, with regular houses, except all of them were floating on docks. What would have been sidewalks between the homes were more docks. She stood now at the end of a plank of wood that connected the shore to the walkways.

She'd looked them up once. These places weren't cheap. Even the small ones were more expensive than she could ever afford. Grayson's was beautiful, though. Two stories and box-shaped; the dark brown of the wood siding and the soft glow of the lights within made the place seem warm and inviting.

She drew a deep breath, drawing her courage around her, and crossed the bridge. The deck beneath her swayed as she moved around the side of the house. He'd texted her two days ago with the address, mentioning that the front of the house faced the lake. Reaching it her nerves once again scattered, yet desire curled in her stomach. The night he texted her the address he'd admitted he looked forward to seeing her. She'd gotten brave and told him the same.

As she finally came to a stop at the front door, her knees shook. She'd made a decision on the way over. This might be the only night they'd spend together, so she was going to take Hannah's advice and go all in. If she ever wanted to move beyond her rape, she needed to do this. It would be the final step into taking herself back.

She lifted her hand to knock, but the door swung open before she got the chance, revealing Grayson in all his glory. He wore another pair of snug dark blue jeans topped with a light blue button-down shirt. It was tucked neatly at his waist, with the sleeves rolled up to reveal his thick forearms. He had one hand tucked casually in a pocket.

He smiled and hitched a shoulder. “It gets quiet around here at night. Heard you coming.”

Maddie nodded but hadn't a clue what to say, and they stood for a beat, regarding each other. She'd had an entire week to mull over this night. Three years ago, she might have gone into that weekend with Grayson with a wounded heart, but one firmly seated on her sleeve. Three years might have passed, but it felt like two days. She was still lost in his intense, probing stare, and her heart was seated in his hands.

The odd part was, she felt safe with him. Oh, she was nervous for sure, and she still didn't know if this was a good idea. But like no time had passed at all, one look at his soft, familiar gaze, and that sense of safety settled around her, warm and luscious and inviting. Did he know how much of her heart he held? How much this night could cost her?

Did he know how aroused she was? Her panties were already damp. God, even her nipples strained against the confines of her lacy bra.

Lace. She'd worn lace and satin for this date. She couldn't stop remembering the softness of his mouth against her skin a week ago. Or the luxury of his arms around her. She could deny it all she wanted, but she knew damn well what she wanted from this night: him, naked beneath her.

As if he'd read her mind, Grayson shifted closer and hooked an arm around her waist, pulling her over the threshold and into his embrace. That hard body hit hers and his mouth settled over hers. He kissed her with the tender familiarity of a longtime lover, and her body melted into the connection, into his warmth and the suppleness of his lips.

When he finally released her she was breathless, every inch of her trembling.

He thumbed her bottom lip. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Maddie could only stare and hold on. Completely at a loss, she held up a bottle. “I brought wine.”

The corners of his mouth twitched, and his eyes gleamed with amusement. “I see that. That's very thoughtful of you. Do you think it's wise, though, given everything?”

She shook her head. “No. But nothing about this night is
wise.
”

He stepped away long enough to tug her inside, closed the door behind her, then pulled her close again. “I'm not going to jump on you, you know. This goes as slow or as fast as you want it to.”

That broke her out of her stupor, and her restlessness finally eased. She couldn't resist a smile. To melt into the play between them came too easily with him. In the past, it had always been a form of foreplay. “You just did. Jump on me, I mean. I haven't even gotten through the door.”

Heat flared in his eyes. “I can't help it. I'm happy to see you.”

A shiver ran the length of her spine, and just that fast, she was melting to his whim. God help her heart in the morning. Right then, with that luscious body pressed to hers, she couldn't drum up the will to push him back. Rather, she bowed into him.

“I can tell.”

Grayson had a distinct bulge in his jeans. His hands slid to her bottom, tugging her the slightest bit closer. Until every delicious ridge of his erection pressed against her stomach. He leaned down, his mouth hovering over hers. “Can you now?”

Every inch of her lit up like a roaring bonfire. Her breathing hitched. Her pulse hammered in her ears. Her limbs began to tremble as a heady dose of arousal and adrenaline fired through her, and her gaze zeroed in on his luscious mouth. “Mmm. Unless that's a banana in your pocket.”

He grinned this time, an outright, full-on, ear-to-ear smile. Her breath halted completely. Grayson had a blinding smile that transformed his face. Normally cool and in control, he was downright beautiful when he grinned. Filled with irrepressible amusement, his eyes laughed at her, but in a way that had the corners of her mouth twitching.

This time, he scraped his teeth over her earlobe, reminiscent of that night in her apartment a week ago. “Oh, I assure you, baby, I'm much more pleasurable than a banana.”

The sexy rumble of his voice in her ear had her breath
whoosh
ing from her lungs. Before she could think to contain them, the words left her mouth on a hoarse, needy whisper. “I want you.”

It occurred to her that panic ought to be overwhelming her by now, that those memories from long ago ought to be flooding her mind. But as she stared up at him they never came. She wasn't afraid of him. With him, and only him, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was safe. And for this one night, she wanted to get lost in that, lost in every inch of him. She wanted to know the soft heat of his bare skin against hers. To feel the erratic huff of his breath in her ear as he pressed her into the mattress and pushed inside of her. To know the luxury of getting to fall asleep in his arms after making love until they couldn't walk anymore.

And the bliss of waking up beside him in the morning.

Some part of her brain insisted she call it fucking. Making love was what you did with someone you cared deeply for, and this would be one night only.

Except she couldn't deny it. She
was
in love with him. Maybe this would be the only night she'd allow herself, in lieu of that weekend three years ago. She couldn't risk losing him again. If it ended again, the way it had three years ago, it would crush her.

For this one night, though, she'd let herself get lost in him. She could deal with the regret and heartbreak tomorrow.

He caught her lower lip between his teeth, tugging gently. “Me too.”

Just as suddenly as he grabbed her, he set her away from him, leaving her to stand on wobbly stilts for legs, and took her free hand. With his fingers threaded through hers, he turned and moved farther into the house, pulling her behind him.

“There's time for that later. Come on.” Moving beyond the front door they emerged into the main floor, which was essentially one room. He stopped dead center then turned to her, taking the wine bottle from her hands. “Let me put this on ice, then I'll give you the tour.”

He turned and headed off to her right, into the kitchen, and she followed his trek with her eyes. A large shelf, lined with books set between a couple of intricately carved bookends, separated the kitchen from the small dining room. The kitchen itself was U-shaped, and larger than her own. Dinner, she assumed, lined the top of the gas stove and the white countertops.

He'd set the table with a simplistic beauty. A wooden table with wicker chairs. Two place settings neatly opposite each other. The floral bouquet in the center gave the otherwise warm interior a splash of color.

Grayson retrieved an ice bucket from a low cabinet, and Maddie turned her head, taking in the living room. The rest of the house had the same simple décor. White walls accented by a light-colored wood. The polished wood-beam ceiling gave the place a cabin-in-the woods feel.

Even the wicker furniture, in oak frames topped with white cushions, added to the overall homey atmosphere. Opposite the couch, two glass walls allowed a spectacular view of the deck and the water beyond. Out in the distance, the sun had begun to set, streaking the clouds with blues and pinks, all reflecting on the surface of the water.

Her mind filled with thoughts of their chats. Was this where he sat? She could easily picture him, seated on the couch, his laptop beside him, thick cock in his hand. How many orgasms had he given himself in this room while chatting with her?

The thought had heat prickling along her skin. Yet the whole place gave her a sense of peace.

She called out over her shoulder to him. “It suits you.”

“Mmm. It's home.”

The sudden sound of his voice right behind her startled her, and she spun toward him. He met her gaze with a smile. He seemed relaxed, once again standing with one hand tucked into the pocket of his jeans. Here she was practically coming out of her skin, and he was cool and in control. The distinct bulge in his jeans, however, provided evidence to the contrary.

Maddie bit the inside of her cheek to stop a quiet groan from leaving her mouth. He'd set her off balance, inviting her here, kissing her the way he had. She ached to press herself into his arms, to push her hips against his for the overwhelming need to feel his cock against her. She knew damn well the gloriousness of him thrusting into her. He filled her to perfection, rubbing all the right places, like he'd been tailor-made for her.

She swallowed past a desert-dry throat and forced herself to focus on his eyes. “I remember you had a condo downtown. When did you move?”

Melancholy flitted across his face, and he averted his gaze.

“A couple of years ago. Not long after we broke up. Got tired of apartment living.” He slipped his hand into hers. “Come on. I'll show you upstairs.”

He led her to the right, around a corner and up an L-shaped staircase, then down a small hallway. He stopped at the first door on the right. As she stepped up to take a peek, he pressed against her back. “The spare bedroom.”

This room's wood-paneled walls lent the space more of that cabin-in-the-woods feel. The bed looked like it hadn't been touched. “Do you get many visitors?”

“No. Not really. You'd be the first, actually.” His warm breath beside her ear startled her, but his lips moving against her skin and the husky tone of his voice gained her body's full attention. “If you stay tonight, though, you won't be sleeping in here.”

A hot little shiver rocketed down her spine. Her clit pulsed to life as her mind filled with images of him, of them. His body pinning her to the mattress. His hips thrusting into her…The thought sent a riotous mass of emotion swirling through her. Anxiety mixed with a heady dose of arousal. Would the panic come this time too? Or had things changed between them enough that she could simply get lost in him?

Grayson tugged on her hand again, leaving her off balance as he led her down the hallway. He pointed out his home office and a half bathroom, then moved through the doorway of another bedroom and stopped inside. This one was larger than the first. A huge bed took up nearly the entire room, covered in a thick quilt in varying shades of brown. Another bookcase behind the bed served as the headboard and a nightstand. More books lined the shelves. The alarm clock's placement hinted that he slept on the left, and her mind filled with visions of her there with him, curled against his back.

His arms came around her waist, drawing her back against him. His nose and lips skimmed the side of her neck, leaving goose bumps in their wake. “I'd rather you sleep in here.”

That he hadn't actually asked her to stay wasn't lost on her, but his hint was obvious. His husky voice sent shivers down her spine and her mind wandered, filling with images of him, of them, on that huge bed—his hot body beneath hers, her hands braced on his chest as she straddled him.

A soft, shaky exhalation left her mouth. “Is that your way of asking me to stay?”

“Mmm. I'm sorry. You're distracting. You look incredible. You smell incredible. I'm having trouble focusing.” He let out a quiet groan, and his torture of her skin ceased. Instead, he rested his smooth-shaven cheek against hers. “I've missed you. A lot. Stay with me tonight.”

His words to her a week ago filled her head.
“There are ways to pleasure someone, to be
intimate
with someone, without sex, and I aim to show you every single one.”

She'd missed him, too, and God, how she ached to learn everything he wanted to show her. If this happened, though, it would be on her terms. “I have rules.”

He turned his head, pressing a kiss to her neck. “Does that mean you'll stay?”

Did it?

Whatever pretense of a wall she'd had against him deserted her, and she sagged back into him. She didn't have it in her to fight him anymore. “Yes.”

He growled low in his throat, a sound of relief and needs too long denied. His arms tightened around her. “God, you have no idea how happy you've made me. I think I must be the luckiest man on the planet right now. I promise you won't regret it. Your rules. I have a few of my own. You go first.”