Bargaining for the Billionaire (14 page)

As he collapsed against her back, breathing hard and still shaking, one thought rose above the rest. An extended moment in time where everything became crystal clear. Despite his promise, he couldn't let her go. Whatever the consequences, he was done waiting. He was going to lay his heart on the line and let the cards scatter where they may.

He crushed her to him and bent his head, burying his face in her hair. “I'm not letting you go again, Mad. Mark my words. You're mine, and I'm keeping you.”

M
addie stood shaking. From leftover need. From fear. “We agreed on one night, Gray.”

What she didn't have the courage to tell him was that the thought of losing him again, of trying to somehow figure out how to live the rest of her life without him, was crushing her. She'd wanted a single night with him. A chance to know what she would've learned three years ago.

She didn't know if she was ready to jump fully into him yet, though. Deep down, she couldn't deny she felt safe with him. His arms closed around her and her world righted itself. Like she could finally breathe again.

He'd been right. She'd helped him clean up after dinner as an excuse to stall. Her nerves had gotten to her, left her caught between her need for him and the fear that still lived and breathed deep in her belly: If he wanted to get intimate tonight, if he wanted sex, would she really be able to follow through? Or would the panic come again?

It wasn't until he was groaning softly in her ear as he came that it fully hit her. She'd done it. Had initiated sex, had gotten lost in him, in the need between them, and not once had she thought about her rape. All because of him. Because she trusted him. Because she felt safe with him.

She didn't have the words to tell him how grateful she was for his gentle patience, but she didn't know yet if she was ready for much more than that, either. One step at a time was about all she could handle.

His arms tightened around her, drawing her back against the full press of his body. “I know that's not what you want to hear, but you want me to be honest with you. Hell, Cassie's been telling me nothing but since this whole damn charade started.”

The name had alarm skittering up her spine. Cassie was a woman's name, and whoever she was, she was clearly someone he shared intimate conversations with.

“Who's Cassie?” God, asking him that probably made her sound like a jealous girlfriend, but he'd unseated her. She was naked before him tonight, her soul laid bare, and the sudden knowledge only served to remind her how precarious their relationship really was, how much she still didn't know about him. That he had a friend he talked to—a woman no less—made her gut ache. A selfish part of her said that someone ought to be
her
.

“She's a friend. I should've introduced you a long time ago, but it never came up. I get lost in you, Maddie, until you're all I can see. Cassie's been my best friend since high school. She's family. The only family I have left at this point.” Grayson drew a breath, his thumbs stroking her belly. “I'm sorry. It was a vulnerable moment, but I meant what I said. I can't pretend you mean nothing to me. At some point, you have to make a decision. You either want me too, or you don't. Cassie told me she thinks you're running because you care too much. I'm inclined to believe she's right.”

She turned her head, peering back over her shoulder at him. “If she's been your best friend for that long, shouldn't I have met her by now?”

He shook his head. “She's told me that, too—that it would likely look wrong to you. I know I've made a lot of mistakes, but the things I've shared with you have never been lies. I'm here, Maddie, and you've got all of me. Tomorrow, I'll give Cass a call and we'll figure out when she can do lunch. I'll let her tell you. I'd call her tonight, but she's not home. She has a date, and if I know her, she's busy right about now.” Humor laced his tone, but he sobered a breath later. “I have something I want to show you.”

Grayson took a moment to get rid of the condom, and Maddie snatched her panties off the floor. By the time she'd pulled them on, he had his jeans done up. He didn't give her time to grab her pants, but took her hand and led her upstairs. She followed, dumbstruck once again, because she had no resistance against him anymore.

When they entered his bedroom he reached for a switch on the left wall, flooding the space with light. He turned to her, eyes luminous and tender. God help her but her knees melted. “It's an exercise in trust. I need you to understand I would never purposely hurt you, and there are a lot of ways I could do that, but you seem to respond when I touch you. So that's where I'll start. The part of you that still melts into me when I kiss you.”

He stepped into her personal space, his body brushing hers. His breath whispered across her cheek, and his body heat infused hers.

 “You have my promise. Tomorrow, I'll introduce you to Cass, and she'll put you out of your misery, but for tonight, I'm asking you to trust that part of you that trusts me. This isn't easy for me, either. I'm just as terrified as you are. Of all the same things.” He dropped his arms to his sides, his voice lowering to a vulnerable whisper between them. “It hurt, Maddie. When you stood me up that weekend, it crushed me, and it took me a long time to get over being angry with you.”

The pain etched in his voice made her look up. Dejection hung on him, rounding his shoulders. The hurt in his eyes, though, was a punch to the stomach. Tears burned behind her eyelids and regret tightened in her chest, her previous irritation and doubts flitting away as quickly as they'd come. She was getting lost in fear again.

She wrapped her arms over her stomach. “I'm sorry. I hate knowing I hurt you like that. I never meant to, as lousy an excuse as that is. I should have trusted you, but at the time I was too afraid. I was so in love with you, and reading all those things in the paper…I didn't know what to believe. Since my rape, trust has been hard. I keep expecting you to let me down again, because falling into you is so easy it terrifies me. Maybe that's not fair to you, but it's the truth.” She looked up again, meeting his gaze. “What do you want me to do?”

He crossed the space between them, took her face in the warmth of his palms, and pressed a tender kiss to her lips. “Thank you. That goes a long way. It really does. And for what it's worth? The way you feel is normal. All I ask is that you talk to me. Tell me when I'm pushing you too hard. Deal?”

She nodded, tears flooding her eyes. “Deal.”

He thumbed her chin, then turned and moved to a closet on the right wall, pulling open the wooden door. He reached inside, coming out with two of his ties—one red, one gray—then turned back to her. “Take everything off then lie on the bed.”

She let out a nervous laugh. “Please don't make me get naked by myself.”

He rolled his eyes, but one corner of his mouth quirked upward. Then he moved to the bed, laid the ties neatly on top, and turned to face her again. Intense gaze holding hers, he pulled his shirttails from the waistband of his jeans and began to undo the buttons. Garment by garment, he shed his clothing. First his shirt, then his jeans, last his underwear. Grayson, she noted, wore skintight boxer briefs. God, he looked so damn sexy in them, too. They hugged his hips and strong thighs.

He dropped everything onto the floor at his feet then stood staring at her for a moment. His cock jutted against his stomach but he didn't move, didn't approach her.

“There. Now you're not alone in your vulnerability. Your turn. Everything off, please. Unless you'd rather
I
undress you.” He grinned at this, gaze luminous and burning through her. “I'm happy to oblige.”

The sight of him naked had every inch of her attention. Her whole body hummed. He was solid and toned, and the sight of his erection made her mouth water. He wasn't huge, but his cock was perfectly shaped. Long straight shaft with a wide head. She longed to drop to her knees and suck him into her mouth.

“I'd rather undress myself.” Because if he touched her, she wasn't sure she'd let him go through with whatever his plan was. He intrigued the hell out of her. He seemed calm and in control, and he most definitely paid attention to how
she
felt. He might very well be naked, but he didn't touch her, didn't invade her space. Having been at the mercy of a man who wouldn't take no for an answer, that single thing gained him a measure of her respect.

Her fingers trembled as she pulled her sweater over her head. She took her sweet time, too, neatly folding it and setting it on the floor before unhooking her bra and slipping off her panties. Now as naked as he was, she looked to the ties on the bed. “What are those for?”

“One to blindfold you, one to tie you up with.” Amusement laced his voice, and she jerked her head in his direction. Alarm must have shown on her face, because he held up his hands in surrender. “Relax, baby. Take a look at the bed. There's nothing in this room to tie you
to
. It's what it represents. I told you. It takes trust to do this. When I'm finished, you're more than welcome to bind me in return.”

She swallowed hard. He was right, of course. Nothing in or around the bed even resembled posts. His bed had no headboard, save the long—and flat—bookshelves. She objected more to the term he'd chosen. “Tie me up? I'm not into BDSM, Gray.”

“Neither am I. Have I ever hurt you? Have I ever even made you fear me?” He lifted his brows and waited.

She relaxed her shoulders with a relenting sigh. She had to give him that one. “No. I'm sorry. You're just unsettling me.”

 “It's okay. I know I'm asking a lot from you. I'm not into that stuff either. Blindfolded with my hands tied, I'd be at your mercy, to do with as you please. You have no idea how much that turns me on. I told you once. You don't remember?”

A whisper of a conversation flitted through her thoughts, but the memory wouldn't fully form. Instinct told her he'd mentioned it during one of their late night chats, but that she was busy at the time he'd told her. The thought of those chats had heat pooling between her thighs.

“Now what?”

He nodded at the bed. “Lie down. On your back.”

She looked at him again. “And I can do this to you when I'm done?”

“Baby, I'm hoping you will.” He winked.

She did as he bade—crawled up onto the bed, laid down in the center, and waited. Every limb shook. People did this voluntarily? Let someone else tie them up and have their way with them? It didn't feel good, or like fun. Her heart hammered and every limb seemed to be shaking. Her only saving grace was that she
did
trust him.

He followed, crawling on his hands and knees, then bent to brush a soft kiss across her mouth. “Relax. I promise you'll feel good by the time I'm done. Limp noodle good.”

He rose up on his knees and swung a leg over her, straddling her body. Maddie inhaled sharply as a memory pushed its way into her mind. It was hazy, more of a feeling than a visual, but there all the same. Matt's large body pinning her to the bed. In the kitchen downstairs, having him so near had been different: Grayson hadn't pinned her. Like this, she couldn't move easily.

“You're shaking.” Grayson stroked his fingertips along her cheek. “I'm sorry. I suppose I should have warned you about this. Are you okay?”

The gentleness in his eyes and the warm familiarity of his voice had the memory evaporating. The panic caging her chest ebbed. She nodded. “It's fine. You just startled me.”

“Don't be afraid to tell me if I've pushed too far, okay?” When she nodded again, he brushed another soft kiss across her mouth then pulled back again. Sitting upright, straddling her stomach, his cock jutted before her like a luscious treat. Grayson grinned, his eyes gleaming with wicked pleasure. “I have rules.”

She rolled her eyes, letting his playfulness pull her back in. “Paybacks, Gray. You just remember that. What are your rules?”

He leaned over her, braced one hand on the bed beside her head, and arched his hips, rubbing himself against her stomach. “I'm the only one who gets to touch. Since I have nothing to actually restrain you, we're going on the honor system. If you touch, I stop.”

She let out a quiet laugh, trying desperately to ignore the lusciousness of him so close. “That's your punishment? You stop your
torture
?”

He seemed to take pleasure in this remark, for humor danced in his eyes and he leaned down further, pressing his body to hers. The feel of his length fully on top of her, his erection caught between them, set her heart hammering again, but as he leaned his mouth beside her ear, his scent—of soap and man—swirled around her, soothing the anxiety before it fully formed.

His hot breath teased the skin on her neck; his voice was a husky rumble. “I'm going to make you moan my name, baby. I'm going to make you beg me to let you come. Believe me, stopping
will
be punishment.”

Her breathing hitched. When he sat upright again, meeting her gaze, she couldn't stifle a frustrated groan. “You are so full of yourself, you know that?”

Grayson grinned, clearly pleased with himself. “Your rapid breathing and the way your gaze continues to drop to my cock would suggest you're enjoying it.” He reached behind his back, slipped his hand between her legs and eased two fingers into her. “Mmm. I'm right. You're sopping.”

She gasped at the sweet invasion. Her eyes rolled back in her head as pleasure burst from the point of contact to every trembling limb.

“Arrogant, cocky bastard.” She'd meant the words as a tease, but they came out on a breathless whisper.

He chuckled as he swiped his tongue over her lower lip. “Stubborn redhead.”

A heated shiver ran through her, all of it pooling between her slippery thighs. That he even noticed she couldn't stop staring at his cock and she was, indeed, aroused, only made her that much wetter. He was so damn sexy like this, taking charge.

He stroked her bare belly with the tip of a finger. “Open your eyes, Maddie.” When she obeyed, he furrowed his brow. “You okay?”

She nodded, her heart swelling. She wanted to kiss him for his worry. It was working. That gentleness she loved so much about him only served to remind her that she really was safe. “I'm okay.”