Be a Genie in Six Easy Steps (7 page)

Jess tried not to listen but Colette's clear voice kept carrying across to her.

“There was this amazing green top that I bought…and at Harrods I bought some blush and this eyeliner…then we went to this coffee bar…oh, and I saw Gwyneth Paltrow there! It was so cool….” Colette waved her hands around expressively as her friends
oo
ed and
ah
ed.

Oh, puh-lease
, Jess thought to herself, trying to pretend she wasn't interested. There were other things in life apart from clothes, makeup, and celebrities. “I've got a magic genie handbook at home,” she muttered, trying to console
herself. “If you knew that then you'd really have something to talk about….”

“I can't believe you saw Gwyneth Paltrow!” said one of Colette's friends. “That's so, like…wow!”

Jess rolled her eyes but unfortunately, just at that moment, Colette glanced across at her. Jess hastily tried to change her eye roll into a thoughtful frown, as if there was something
very
interesting in her book. She put her lunch away and got hastily to her feet. She might not want to be friends with Colette and her clones, but she certainly didn't want to be their enemy either.

As she stood up, Colette cast another look in her direction. She was frowning. Jess looked away, and Colette said something that she didn't catch. Someone else replied in a low voice and everyone laughed. Jess blushed. She was sure they were talking about her. She hurried out of the lunch hall, her cheeks burning.
I hate this school
, she thought bitterly.
I hate living in Moreways Meet!
She thought again of
The Genie Handbook
, and of what they would have to do next to get out of here….

 

When Jess got home after school, Michael was leaning on the gateway, surrounded by a group of boys, talking and laughing.

Jess sighed and went into the house, shutting the door
with a bang. It wasn't fair. Her stupid stepbrother had made friends so easily. She walked into the kitchen and dumped her bag on the floor.

Jason was sitting at the table, eating a packet of crisps. “Hi, Jess. You okay?”

“Ecstatic,” Jess sighed. “Where's everyone else?”

“Mum and Mark are at the shop and Milly's upstairs in your bedroom.”

“Oh, great. Making more mess, I imagine,” Jess muttered.

Jason looked at his sister in surprise. “What's up with you?”

Jess shrugged. “Just school. It's rubbish still.” She took a crisp from him and crunched it gloomily. “How are you getting on?”

“Okay,” Jason replied. “We got to go on the computers loads today, and me, Matthew, and Ryan finished the worksheet ages before anyone else….”

“Yay you,” muttered Jess.

Just then the kitchen door opened and Milly came in with
The Genie Handbook
. “Jess, you're back! Fab. When can we start Step Three?”

“Just as soon as
your
brother gets his butt in here,” Jess replied grumpily.

“I'll go and get him,” Milly offered. Pulling on her
sneakers, she ran out of the house. Jess and Jason watched as she barged into the group and spoke to Michael. Michael looked irritated for a moment but then shrugged, said good-bye, and let Milly drag him inside.

“So you've finally decided to stop talking to your friends, have you?” Jess remarked bitterly.

“Least I've
got
friends. Not like you, Miss Billie no-mates!” Jess glared, but Michael didn't even notice as he headed for the den. “Come on, then. It's magic time!”

They hurried down the stairs. Michael threw himself on the sofa and Milly and Jason crouched on the floor with the book. Jess stood tensely by the door, her arms folded.
I really hate Michael
, she thought.
I want to go back to London
. To her horror she felt tears prickle at the backs of her eyes. She blinked them away furiously before joining the others.

“Let's see what we have to do next,” said Jason. “Shall I read it out?” They all nodded. Jason cleared his throat and leaned forward….

 

“W
hat does all
that
mean?” Milly said, confused.

“I'm not sure.” Jason read the words again. “You may hear many wishes…'”

Milly smiled. “Maybe it means we're allowed to hear each other's wishes and make them come true!”

“Hey, Worm!” Michael called. “What do you think?”

Scribble's head popped up from the book. “I think that you are a rude and impertinent boy! Now, hurry up and grant each other's wishes, you deplorable dunces!”

Jess felt a thrill of excitement. “You really think that's what it wants?”

“Of course I do!” said Skribble. “Who's going first? You have the perfect opportunity to impress the book with your developing powers!”

“I'll be the genie first!” said Milly. “Genie me!”

She whizzed into the lamp.

“You!” Skribble was peering at Jason. “You, younger boy! Make a wish!”

Jason picked up the lamp and rubbed it, remembering his list. Milly the genie shot out in a drift of silver smoke. “What is your wish?”

“I…I wish there was world peace!”

Michael looked disgusted. “That is so lame!”

“And utterly impossible,” Skribble snapped. “Peace only comes to a human when he has attained his heart's desire, and even then not for long….” He shook his head. “Foolish boy, not even the greatest genie can satisfy a hundred billion wishes at once!”

“Phew,” said Milly.

“That is why a genie only appears to one person at a time,” Skribble went on. “To whomever rubs the lamp.”

“Anyway, whatever we wish for, it's only till sunset,” Michael pointed out. “What good is one afternoon of world peace, you muppet?”

Jason blushed. “Um…in that case…I wish I had a never-ending supply of chocolate!”

“Your wish is my command!” Milly boomed.

There was a flash of silver light and Jason felt the pockets of his jeans get suddenly heavy. He shoved his hands in and pulled out a chocolate bar from each pocket. “Cool!” He looked at the bars—one was filled with caramel and one with raisins and nuts. “Hey, they're even different types.”

“Course!” Milly said smugly. “It'd be boring just to eat the same kind of chocolate all the time.” She did a twirl. “Just call me superawesome magnificent Milly the genie!”

Jason ripped the paper from one of the chocolate bars and stuffed as much chocolate as he could into his mouth. “They taste good, too!” He reached for his pockets. “And every time I take one out, another one appears!”

“Good wish, mate,” Michael said approvingly as he helped himself to a bar. “Go on, get back in the lamp, Milly. It's my turn now!”

Once Milly was back in the lamp, Jason said the spell of release: “Genie be free,” said Jason.

Milly shot out with a whoop of exhilaration. Then she wished herself back into the lamp: “Genie me!” she shouted.

No sooner was she inside than Michael was rubbing the old brass sides. “I wish for the power to look through stuff—like Superman's X-ray vision!”

Milly whooshed out, just as before. “Your wish is my command,” she boomed, clapping her hands. She grinned at them all. “Hey, this is fun!”

Michael blinked.

“Did it work?” asked Jason, excited.

“Whoa!” Michael stared around the room. “You lot look really weird. I can see through your top layer of
clothes! Nice Batman underpants, Jase!”

“Michael!” Jess exclaimed. As he looked over at her she grabbed a throw from the sofa and wrapped it around herself. “Don't you dare look at me! Stop it!”

“It's my turn now!” said Milly. “I know exactly what I'm going to wish for. Free me, Michael, and then you have a go at being the genie.” Her voice grew fainter as she jumped back into the lamp.

“Genie be free!” said Michael. “And genie
me!
” He whooshed into the lamp just as Milly whooshed back out.

“I wish for a pony!” said Milly breathlessly, rubbing away at the lamp.

Now Michael shot out of the lamp in his black ninja genie outfit and enormous beard, and clapped his hands. “It shall be done!” The next second, a small, fat brown pony with a shaggy mane and tail and blue head collar was standing in the basement. It had a very surprised expression on its face.

“It's real!” Jess gasped.

Milly dropped the lamp and hugged the pony. Then she looked accusingly at Michael. “It's cute, but it's not very big.”

“You just said you wanted a pony,” Michael protested. “You didn't say what size.”

The pony snorted.

“You're the genie! You should think about the details!” Milly told Michael. “You should have known I'd want one I could ride.” She stroked the pony quickly, hoping its feelings wouldn't be hurt. “Well, you're still nice. What am I going to call you, boy?”

“What about ‘Dogfood'?” Michael suggested.

“Don't be horrible!” Milly cried. “I'll call him…Toffee!”

“
Gloopy,
more like,” said Michael, pulling a face. “I can see through its skin! I can see all the blood going around and stuff.” His face turned pale. “Oh, that is
so
gross. UGH!” He quickly disappeared back into the lamp.

Jess grabbed the lamp from the floor. “It's my turn now.”

“Well, I wish that Jess could have my next wish,” said Milly, patting Toffee.

Michael whooshed back out, still looking a bit green. “What is your wish?” he cried, and the book trembled.

Jess felt a tremble go through her as well.
Keep tight hold on that which is precious to you
, the book had told them.
Well, I know what's precious to me
, she thought.
And I'm never going to let go.

Her heart pounded. It was the moment she'd been waiting for. “I wish…I wish we were all back in London!”

“What?” Milly gasped.

“No, Jess!” Michael spluttered, but his hands were already clapping themselves together and his voice was booming out: “Your wish is my command!”

Milly saw Jason grab the book. There was a bright red flash. Milly screamed as the world went instantly dark and began to spin. There was the sound of something metal being dropped and a pony's worried whinny. Milly felt herself tumbling over and over and over….

And then suddenly she landed on her feet. At the same moment the lights seemed to come back on.

Milly blinked. The first thing she saw was Jess's, Michael's, and Jason's shocked faces. Then she saw Toffee, snorting with alarm. There was the sound of cars and hooting horns close by. Suddenly Milly realized they weren't inside the house anymore. There was a gray sky above them and the faded rug in the basement had gone. They were standing on concrete. With a sinking feeling, she looked around. They were in the middle of a parking lot beside a main road. The traffic was bumper-to-bumper, and horns were blaring.

Milly's eyes widened. “We really
are
in London!”

“But whereabouts?” said Jess. She turned toward Michael. “I wanted us to be back where we used to live.”

Michael groaned. “You could have said. Details, remember?”

“You're the genie!” Jess retorted. “You're the one who's supposed to think about the details!”

“Yeah, right! Blame it on me!” Michael hid his face in his beard. “You should have said where you wanted to go!”

“Get us out of here, Jess!” Jason urged as chocolate bars began to overflow from his pockets. “Make another wish.” He saw some passersby looking at them curiously. “Quickly!”

“Okay,” Jess sighed. She looked around. “Where's the lamp?”

They all stared at each other.

“You were holding it, Jess, when you made the wish,” said Jason. “What did you do with it?”

Jess's face paled. “I…think I might have dropped it back in the den.”

There was a silence, broken only by the thud of falling chocolate bars.

“No,” Michael said, shaking his head. “You're not going to tell me we haven't got the lamp?”

Jess felt her cheeks burn red. She gave a small nod.

“Perfect!” Michael looked at her furiously. “What was it the book said—‘keep tight hold on that which is precious'? What's more precious than the lamp? You heard the worm: Without a lamp a genie is nothing!”

“Michael can't grant any wishes, otherwise,” cried Milly. “None of us can!” The wall of traffic rumbled beside them. “We're stuck here!”

“Everyone stay calm,” ordered Jess. “The magic will wear off at sunset; that's only a couple of hours away….”

“A couple of hours?” said Michael. He looked particularly strange standing in his black genie outfit with curly-toed slippers in the middle of a parking lot. “I can't stick this for a couple of hours! My X-ray vision is getting stronger. I can see through
everything!
” He shut his eyes and groaned. “I can even see through my eyelids! It's making me feel really sick. What about the book? Do you have the book?”

“Yes,” said Jason. He turned to the right pages. “But it's still all gibberish. Skribble?” He shook the book a bit, and winced as two large chocolate bars fell onto his foot. “Skribble, please!”

“I'm busy,” came a grumbly voice. “Bother me when you've finished making your wishes.”

“But we
have
finished!” cried Jason.

“Or rather, we
are
finished.” Michael glared at Jess, snatched the book, and shoved it into a large side pocket of his black jacket. “I bet that stupid worm wouldn't know how to help us anyway. And I certainly don't want to see through
his
revolting body!”

A battered blue van rumbled into the parking lot. Toffee neighed in alarm. Milly hung on tight to his lead rope. “Whoa! Steady, boy.” He tugged her forward. “Hey, guys! Any chance of some help here? He's small but he's really strong.”

Jason went over to her, chocolate spilling from his pockets with every step. The pony squealed and kicked out at him. “Hey, stop it!” Jason cried, slipping on a fruit-and-nut bar as he tried to get out of the way.

Toffee bit Milly's arm and she yelled.

“What are we going to do?” Michael exclaimed. He looked at Jess and stared. “Oh…my…!”

“You'd better not be looking at my underwear!” she told him furiously.

“Not your underwear.” Michael's face turned a shade of green. “The X-ray vision's getting worse. I can see your skeleton! All the bones and bits of gristle and your
brain
! Ugh…” He turned, staggered behind a car, and was sick—very, very noisily.

“Oh, nice!” said Jess, revolted.

“Help!” Milly wailed as Toffee yanked the lead rope out of her hands and careered off toward the parking lot exit. “Quick! We've got to stop him! If he gets out into the road, he might get hurt!”

“He's not the only one!” Jason yelled.

They all charged after the pony, Michael groaning and clutching his stomach.

As Jess ran, she felt her eyes filling with tears. She'd set her heart on coming back to London, but not like this.
Never
like this!