Be My Baby (16 page)

The fact that she'd been thinking of marrying her father made her feel more like a daughter, and leaving her was one of the most painful things she'd ever had to do. She kissed the top of Heather's head and prayed silently that one day she'd understand.

Luke found them in the hallway like that. He opened the door and forgot to move any further, all the cold air rushing in past him as a lump grew in his throat.

‘I thought you were going to be my new mummy,' Heather mumbled between sniffs.

The look of shock on Gaby's face cut him like a knife.

‘Oh, no, sweetie! I'm not…It isn't like that…I'm just the nanny.'

Just the nanny. He thought of the diamond ring hidden in his sock drawer and felt such a fool. She looked at him for help.

He wanted to leave her to it, to punish her for throwing his unspoken promise of happiness back in his face, but it was more important to soothe Heather than it was to get even with Gaby.

His voice was hoarse when he spoke. ‘Gaby's right, darling. She could never replace your mummy.'

Hard words, but they were the truth. However much he'd wanted the dream to come real, it had never been truly within his grasp. Gaby's face was a picture of hurt. What did she want, for goodness' sake? She was the one walking away. It was her decision to take their future and dump it in the dustbin, not his.

Heather wrenched herself away from Gaby and turned to face him. He knew that look. Laser vision.

‘You should make her stay, Dad!'

I tried. You don't know how hard I tried.

‘You've ruined everything, just like you always do!'

And then she turned and ran up the stairs, sobbing all the way. Luke looked at Gaby. She looked so miserable that he forgot all his anger and just wanted to go to her and gather her in his arms. He couldn't believe she was really doing this. All week he'd kidded himself he'd find a way to make her stay.

She picked up her handbag and walked towards him. He stood aside to let her pass and watched her as she walked down the path towards her waiting car. Then his eyes fell on something shiny on the console table. Her keys. Before he had time to analyse what he was doing, his fingers closed over them and dropped them into his pocket.

Sure enough, she was back a few seconds later. Her gaze flicked to the table.

‘Where are they, Luke?'

‘I—'

‘Give them to me!' She looked as if she were at breaking point. He thought of Heather and how prolonging this would only make it harder for her. His hand, still inside his pocket, felt the cold metal of her keys.

He'd failed.

Nothing he could do, nothing he could say, could make her love him enough. Time to face facts and stop fooling himself.

He hooked the keyring with his index finger and pulled it out of his pocket and dropped it in her waiting palm.

‘Goodbye, Luke.'

He nodded. It was the only thing he could do. His mouth just wouldn't frame a farewell—refused.

She walked to her car and, moments later, he heard the rumble of the engine. It was only as the car was slowly accelerating down the lane that he started to run.

‘Don't go!' he yelled, his breath coming in drags.

But she didn't stop. If anything she went faster.

This couldn't really be happening. He had to stop her, make her see sense.

His legs pounded as he sprinted up the lane after her. He ran until there was no way he'd catch her up, and then he ran some more. And finally, as he watched her car turn from the lane on to the hill that led out of the village, he stopped and used the last bit of oxygen available to him in one more shout.

‘I love you!'

 

After a near miss on the hill, Gaby pulled to a stop and let the tears out. She'd been so tempted to slam the brakes on and go running back to Luke when she'd seen him following her in her rear-view mirror.

It had taken every last bit of her willpower to push her foot down harder on the accelerator, but she'd made her decision and she was sticking to it. She'd shrivel up and die if she had to endure another relationship like her marriage.

When she thought she was safe to drive again, she put the car in gear and headed for the main road that would take her back to London. She couldn't handle the motorway in her present mood. Thankfully, the traffic wasn't too heavy for a Friday night and she made good time.

Just outside Exeter she heard her mobile ring. It was Luke. The special ring tone on her phone only confirmed what her instincts told her. She ignored it.

Five minutes later it rang again. And five minutes after that. If she hadn't been doing seventy miles an hour she'd have switched it off. When it rang for the seventh time she lost her rag and swore at the dimly lit road in front of her.

That was it. Driving with a phone like a time bomb in the passenger seat, always waiting for it to go off, was dangerous. She pulled into the next truck stop and grabbed her phone, meaning to stab the off button, but something made her call him back. He'd just keep ringing if she didn't lay down the law.

‘Luke?' She made sure her voice was brisk and businesslike.

His was anything but. ‘Gaby? Thank God! I've been trying to get hold of you for ages. It's—'

‘It's got to stop, Luke.'

‘You don't understand.' She was about to say she understood perfectly when he added, ‘It's Heather. She's run away. The police are on their way and they told me to think of anywhere she might go and I've tried everywhere, Gaby. I just can't think of anywhere else. Please? Can you think of anything?'

The panic in his voice sent her heart racing. Whatever their problems, she wasn't going to sit idly by while Heather was missing.

‘Have you tried the Allfords? Her other friends?'

‘Everyone I can think of. I've been into the village to see if she'd gone on to the pontoons or the swing park, but there's no sign of her. Nobody's seen her either.'

‘I can't think of anything else, honestly I can't. Don't worry, Luke. We'll find her. Just stay put in case she turns up—'

‘That's what the police said to do, but I feel so useless!'

‘It's going to be okay.'

‘I can't lose her, Gaby!' His voice was breaking. ‘Not after everything else.'

No, not after losing his wife too. She nodded—stupid because he couldn't see her—but the lump in her throat was stopping the words from coming out.

‘Sit tight. I'm coming home.'

 

It seemed as if every light was on in the Old Boathouse when she pulled up outside it. She jumped out the car, ignoring the protests of her stiff legs, and ran up the path. The door was ajar.

‘Luke? Heather?'

No answer.

Where was he? He should be here! Unless…unless the police had called because they'd found her somewhere. Her blood ran cold as the possible outcomes played in her mind.

And then she went very still.

He wouldn't, would he?

What if this was a stunt to get her back here? This was some kind of sick joke if it was. She shook her head. Luke would never do that to her.

‘Luke?'

Where the hell was he? She didn't want to believe the doubts trying to creep into her brain.

She looked in his study, the lounge, the kitchen. Nothing. She was just about to go and check upstairs when a movement out of the window caught her eye.

He was outside on the jetty. It was only then that she noticed the open door and the draught rushing into the room. In a few moments she was through the door and jumping down the steps.

‘Luke!'

He turned and she felt so ashamed for doubting him that she almost turned tail and ran the other way. No one could doubt he'd been telling the truth if they'd seen the haunted look on his face. She should have known, believed in him a little more. He might be the most stubborn man she had ever known, too pig-headed to know when to stop sometimes, but he wasn't one to deceive.

‘What is it? Luke?'

The lost expression on his face was beginning to worry her.

‘The dinghy…'

She looked at the dinghy, or at least where the dinghy was supposed to be. All she saw was black water slapping against the jetty.

H
ALF
the village got into their boats of varying shapes and sizes to help search for Heather. It wasn't going to be an easy task, even with the clear sky and the bright moon to aid them. They started searching the immediate area first. Hopefully, there would be no need to widen the search later.

Just upstream of the village the river widened. It was a popular place for locals and weekend sailors alike to moor their boats. A small inflatable dinghy could easily be hidden amongst the bobbing yachts and cruisers.

Luke held his torch and directed its beam at the stony beach to his right. Ben had offered to take him and Gaby out to search in the ferryboat. That daft police officer had tried to convince him to stay at the house. No way! How could he sit at home while his daughter was lost on the river?

‘Heather!' His voice was getting hoarse.

Identical shouts from other parts of the river echoed back to him across the water at random intervals. The torch beam wobbled and refused to shine where he wanted it to. He willed his aching arm to stay still and steadied it with the other hand. His eyes were getting tired and every large rock was starting to look like a capsized boat.

‘Luke? Why don't you sit down for a second, take a rest?' Gaby's hand rested on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away.

‘I can't.'

‘You need to.'

Didn't she understand? ‘It's been five hours since she disappeared! How can I rest? Tell me that!'

She took the torch gently from his hands. ‘I'll take over, just for a few minutes. Luke, please? You're no good if you're too tired to see straight.' She was right. But then he was as good as useless anyway. Useless as a father, useless as a husband-and two women had confirmed it, so there wasn't any doubt about that one.

Why? Why had he let Heather believe Gaby might stay? It had been stupid. Probably because he hadn't wanted to believe it himself, but he should have been honest, with himself and with Heather. Then she might be tucked up in bed rather than out risking hypothermia, or worse.

He closed his eyes and immediately opened them again. The images of
or worse
couldn't be allowed to play behind his eyelids.

‘I can see something!'

Gaby's shriek had him into the stern where she was standing in seconds. ‘Over there! Near that big boat!'

Ben brought the ferry closer.

Sure enough, bumping against the side of some weekend cruiser, was a small grey dinghy.

‘Give me that!' He snatched the torch out of Gaby's hands, but she didn't react, she just leaned over the edge of the boat next to him, straining to see. And then her hands flew to her mouth and she gasped.

The dinghy was empty.

‘No!' The word came from his mouth without any conscious decision on his part.

If Heather was in this water, even though she was a fairly strong swimmer for her age, she wouldn't stand much of a chance. It was cold. The currents were swift. In the dark it would be easy to get disoriented.

He put his head in his hands and let out a few ragged breaths. His lungs seemed to be squeezing, depriving him of air.

Gaby's arms came round him and he buried his head in her hair. ‘I don't know what to do.'

Gaby held him tight. ‘It doesn't mean anything, Luke. It could have come loose on its own. She might not even have been in the boat in the first place.'

He wished he could believe her. She sounded so sure.

‘Look at me.'

He lifted his head and saw the fierce determination in her eyes. This was why he loved her—her strength, her compassion. For a while he'd thought it had been a mirage, but he'd been right about her all along.

‘We're not giving up,' she warned him. ‘Heather's always in a rush. Maybe she didn't tie it up properly, or even…' her eyes glazed over ‘…forgot.'

‘What? What are you thinking?'

‘It might be nothing…but…'

He almost shook her. ‘Gaby!'

She jumped. ‘I just remembered that day we went out for a picnic and how the boat almost floated away…'

A small flicker of hope ignited inside him. ‘You think she got out of the boat and forgot to tie it up?'

‘More than that! Think, Luke! She loved that place where she built her camp. Maybe she went back there!'

Good grief, she could be right.

‘Ben!' he shouted, feeling the blood coursing in his ears. ‘Upstream, as quick as you can! I'll show you exactly where when we get near.'

They clung to each other as Ben steered the ferryboat to the spot where they'd had their picnic. They weren't quite close enough yet. What was taking so long? He shone the torch on the water between boat and beach. He could make it. He jumped out of the boat and floundered a second before he found his feet.

Gaby watched him wading through the water, her heart cramping with each beat. She grabbed the torch Luke had dropped and took a long look at the water below. Then she hoisted her legs over the side and followed him.

The shock of the icy cold forced a cry from her lips, but she pushed her legs hard through the water until she caught up with Luke on the beach, who was staring blindly into the shadows.

‘Here.' She thrust the torch at him and he took off with it. Gaby did her best to keep up, but he was darting this way and that and she often found herself walking into an invisible branch as the torch beam danced away.

‘I can't find it!' he yelled back at her. ‘It all looks so different in the dark.'

He turned away again and her surroundings melted into the darkness.

‘Luke, I can't—'

Her shin made contact with something extremely hard and she stumbled. Her arms flew forwards instinctively and skin ripped from her palms as they bore the brunt of the impact. She refused to cry out. It didn't matter. Finding Heather mattered.

‘Gaby?'

‘Over here. I tripped over a blasted rock.'

The torch beam bobbed as he came closer. She tried to wave him on as she picked herself up and tried to brush the grit from her raw skin.

‘Luke!'

‘Are you hurt?' He caught up with her, breathless.

‘Yes. No. Never mind. Look! This is it! The place we built the camp fire.'

He swung the torch downwards. ‘You're sure?'

‘Yes! This is the rock we sat on. That knobbly bit kept sticking into my bottom. It was really uncomfortable.'

He ran his hand along the lichen-covered surface. ‘You're right! That means…'

Gaby was way ahead of him. She lunged off to the right in the direction of the bush that Heather had claimed as her hidey-hole. Then she froze. They both did.

A twig had snapped somewhere in front of them.

It could be anything. A rabbit or a fox. She looked over her shoulder at Luke. And then there was another sound. A distinctly human-sounding sniff.

‘Heather?'

Luke quickly illuminated the spot she was pointing to and she dived forward and ripped the makeshift ‘door' off the opening. Even though she was blocking the light, she could make out a familiar form curled into a ball, a large pair of eyes watching her.

Gaby started to cry as she jammed her shoulders between a couple of branches.

‘Oh, sweetheart! We've been looking all over for you.'

‘Heather!' Luke almost screamed somewhere behind her.

Heather didn't move a muscle. She didn't even blink. Gaby was about to say something soothing when Luke's elbow knocked her in the head. There was no way he was going to fit! It was only just big enough for one small girl and the top half of one small woman.

‘Luke! There's no room! You're going to have to let me back out first!'

Luke muttered something under his breath, but she felt him step away. She looked back at Heather. The poor girl was shaking like a leaf, even though she had her thick coat on.

‘Come on, Heather.' She held out her hand. Heather shook her head.

Okay. Not just cold, scared too.

‘It's okay.' She held out her hand.

‘What the heck is taking so long?' Luke's voice boomed through the silence.

Gaby twisted as far as the bush would allow her to. The light of the torch in her eyes almost blinded her. She pushed it upwards so she could see his face. ‘Just give us a second, will you?'

Luke looked as if he wanted to uproot the bush with his bare hands, but he nodded, his mouth a thin line.

She turned back to Heather.

‘Come on. No one's cross. We're just so relieved to have found you.'

‘Really?'

Gaby nodded. Heather's icy little fingers made contact with hers. Slowly they edged their way out of the camp together. Heather stayed close behind her, using her as a shield.

‘Don't shout at me, Daddy!' Her voice was thick with tears. ‘I didn't mean to! But the dinghy floated away and I was stuck…and…and I didn't know how to get back.'

Gaby stepped aside and let Luke scoop Heather up into his arms. He hugged her so hard she thought her ribs would crack. Gaby pressed her fingers to her mouth and said a silent thank you as her eyes filled up. She loved this man and this little girl so much. Even if she wasn't going to be a permanent fixture in their lives, she would have been devastated if anything had happened to either of them.

Ten minutes later they were back in Ben's boat heading for home. He'd radioed ahead with the good news and an ambulance was going to be waiting for them at Lower Hadwell to check Heather over. Luke seemed pretty sure there was nothing to worry about, but she guessed nobody was taking any chances.

She stood up in the cabin with Ben while Luke and Heather sat further down the boat, huddled together under an old blanket. Gaby bit her lip and held on to the side of the boat tightly. She wanted so much to join them, but it was a private moment between father and daughter and she had resigned, remember. From being the nanny and being part of their family.

‘Why did you run away, Heather? Where were you going?' Luke asked gently. Gaby tried not to listen, but it was very hard in a boat this size.

Heather looked down into her lap. ‘I thought you and Gaby were going to get married.'

‘What gave you that idea?'

She looked up at him, unimpressed. ‘I'm not a kid, you know. You were both giving each other those looks Gaby says I give Liam.'

Gaby didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

‘I thought we were going to be a proper family.' Heather's voice almost faded away entirely. ‘I really wanted Gaby to be my mum. You should have made her stay, Dad.'

Luke hugged his daughter to him and placed a kiss on top of her head. Then he looked at Gaby. She quickly stared into the distance and tried to make out she wasn't listening.

‘Heather,' he began. ‘You know when you first came to live with me and all I did was tell you what to do all the time?'

‘Yeah, it was a real drag.'

Gaby squashed a smile.

‘You didn't like it much when I made you do things you didn't want to do, did you?'

‘No.'

‘Well, it's kind of the same. Gaby wants to go and I can't change that even if I want to, Heather.'

And he'd certainly tried every sneaky trick in the book to stop her. Why was that, anyway? She'd been so busy reacting to the fact she felt pushed around that she hadn't asked herself that question. If Lucy had been the be-all and end-all, and Gaby was a pale imitation, why did he want her to stay?

Perhaps, he thought she was close enough to second best. Once upon a time she'd have settled for that, but now she needed more. She needed to be wanted for who she was, not for what she could be if someone pushed hard enough.

‘You could have tried harder,' Heather piped up.

‘No, Heather. It doesn't work like that. If Gaby needs to go and get another job somewhere else, then we need to let her. It's not up to us. It's her choice.'

Gaby frowned. Big words from the man who'd hidden her keys earlier on. She turned away and looked up at the sky. It was one of those magical starry nights. Thank goodness the magic had worked and Heather was safe.

‘Pretty, isn't it?'

She'd almost forgotten Ben was standing next to her, he'd been so quiet.

‘Yes, it is. I wonder how they get so pretty.'

Ben snorted and she was suddenly reminded of their first meeting.

‘They don't
do
anything, do they?' he said, slowing the engine as they neared the pontoons at Lower Hadwell. ‘They don't try to be beautiful. They just are what they are.'

 

Gaby woke early the next morning, despite the late hour she'd crawled into bed. She focused on the cream walls of the Old Boathouse guest room. She could almost imagine that the past twenty-four hours had been a dream and that she was going to walk into the kitchen and start making breakfast as usual. But last night had been anything but usual.