Bearing the Black Ice (Ice Bear Shifters Book 4) (7 page)

Hannah let the steaming water wash away the shampoo, and continued to stand under the soothing stream long after the last suds were washed away. Water somehow cleared her mind and helped her think. She knew Alan would be asking her soon if she would be his life mate. She wanted to say yes, but she felt as though doing so, without trying to go find her own clan first, was disloyal. Hannah closed her eyes and tried to imagine what advice her alpha would give, if he knew the situation. And then, the answer became clear.

Her alpha would want her to be happy. And being with Alan made her happy. She and Alan had survived so much together already. She knew they were bonded to each other—emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Every aspect of their being blended into one, in the deepest of bonds.

Hannah killed the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself in a large, fluffy towel. She found another towel to use to vigorously rub her hair as dry as she could. Alan didn’t seem to have a hair dryer, so she had to do the best she could with the towel. Luckily, the air inside the cabin was warm and toasty, so her damp hair didn’t bother her too much. She finger combed her hair and let it fall loosely around her shoulders. After staring at herself in the mirror for a few moments, she smiled approvingly. Her appearance had already improved, just by washing away the dirt and getting the tangles out of her hair. The gaunt look on her face would need a little time to go away, but positive changes had already started.

Hannah slipped on the clothes that the women of Alan’s clan had loaned her. They didn’t fit perfectly, but they would work well enough until she had a chance to get some of her own. Since her hair had mostly dried at this point, she put it up into a smooth bun. Alan had brought her a few pairs of shoes. Half of them fit her, so at least one of the women in the clan shared her shoe size. Hannah felt a little ball of nervousness in her stomach when she thought about the other women in the clan. She hadn’t had a chance to meet them yet, since they had been helping Kenzie during her labor. She hoped they would all like her. Alan had told her that the women were all human. The idea of being the only female shifter in a clan felt strange, but as long as the other women didn’t get weird about it, Hannah didn’t see any reason they couldn’t all be friends. And, oh, how she longed for close female companionship again. She missed the days of sitting on a front porch on a lazy summer afternoon, sipping lemonade and sharing the latest clan gossip. She missed spending winter afternoons baking batches of cookies with friends, all while sipping on homemade hot chocolate. Hannah would give almost anything to enjoy happy moments like that again, and she hoped that the women of the Northern Lights Clan would welcome her in and let her be a part of their crew.

As Hannah sat there daydreaming about happier times ahead, Alan suddenly burst through the front door. “They’re here!” he shouted, his voice full of excitement.

“Who’s here?” Hannah asked, confused.

“The cubs! Kenzie had her cubs—twins! A boy and a girl. No one near Glacier Point does ultrasounds, so she had no idea! What an amazing surprise. Not just one, but
two
new clan members were born today!”

Hannah grinned from ear to ear. Even though she hadn’t yet met Kenzie, she was overjoyed at the news. She knew the good news of a double blessing would buoy the spirits of the Northern Lights bears, who had been through so much with the near annihilation of their clan.

“Alan, that’s fantastic! Kenzie must be thrilled.”

“She’s over the moon with excitement, although she’s exhausted. But she’s asking to meet you. Would you like to come meet her and the new cubs?”

“Right now? Doesn’t she want to rest up first?”

Alan shrugged. “I guess she’s on a bit of an adrenaline high at the moment. And she was so excited to see that I was back and okay after they had given me up for dead. I told her about you, and she insisted that I come get you.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yes, really. Throw on a jacket and come with me. Kenzie’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.”

Hannah grinned. “Okay,” she said, grabbing the hand Alan offered and standing up. It appeared that her question over whether the women of the clan would accept her had just been answered.

Hannah timidly followed Alan into the cabin that belonged to Ryker. The front room was crowded with excited clan members. Neal, Tyler, and Eric—whom Hannah had already met—stood in the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen counter and sipping steaming mugs of coffee. They talked in excited, hushed tones, and greeted Alan and Hannah with friendly nods when they entered the cabin.

Two women sat at the kitchen table, and they rose to greet Hannah. The first woman had honey brown eyes, and hair of the same color pulled up in a bun. With her slender frame and olive skin, she looked like a model.

“You must be Hannah,” she said. “I’m Delaney, Eric’s life mate. I’ve heard so much about you! It’s so good to meet you.”

Delaney reached over and gave Hannah a warm hug. The gesture took Hannah off guard, but she returned the hug.

“All good things, I hope,” Hannah joked.

“Of course! Alan can’t stop talking about you.”

Hannah glanced over at Alan, who blushed and gave her a sheepish shrug. Seeing the cheeks of her tough guy shifter turning pink was kind of adorable.

The other woman was curvier, with shiny blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. Her porcelain skin glowed with beauty and happiness, and she gave Hannah a big hug as well. “I’m Kat, Tyler’s life mate,” she said. “Delaney’s right, we’ve heard such good things about you. And we’re happy to have another woman around. I don’t like having the guys outnumber us.”

“It’s true, they get too superior when there aren’t enough of us around. We have to work too hard to keep them in their places,” Delaney said, with a small giggle. Out of the corner of her eye, Hannah saw Neal rolling his eyes.

“Listen,” Kat said, “I know you’re busy settling in and recovering from your awful ordeal in the caverns, but as soon as you’re feeling up to it we’d love to grab lunch with you. We can take you into town and show you the sights in Glacier Point. There isn’t much to see at this time of year, since a lot closes down when tourist season is over. But you should still get to know the place a little bit.”

“I would love that. Thank you so much,” Hannah said, feeling overwhelmed by their kindness. She clearly didn’t have to worry about whether they would accept her into their group. Their warm, friendly smiles showed their eagerness to get to know her better.

Ryker must have heard Alan and Hannah arrive, because he stuck his head out from a side bedroom.

“Hey, you must be Hannah. I’m Ryker, Kenzie’s life mate. Do you want to meet the cubs?” Ryker’s dark brown hair was a mess, and his violet eyes looked tired, but happy.

“I would love to,” Hannah said, then hesitated. “Are you sure Kenzie is up for it?”

Ryker smiled kindly and nodded. “She’s tired, but resting. She would love to meet you.”

Hannah grinned and followed Ryker and Alan into the bedroom. The bedroom was large, with a huge, king-sized bed in the middle. A single bassinet stood to the right of the room, and Alan chuckled as he pointed at it. “Looks like you’re going to have to get an extra one of those,” he said.

On the bed, lay a woman with dark brown hair and stunning green eyes. She looked tired, but very happy.

“Hi, I’m Hannah,” Hannah introduced herself. “Thank you so much for inviting me over.”

“Hi, I’m Kenzie,” she said with a smile. “It sounds like you’re going to be joining the clan soon, so I thought you might want to meet the newest little clan members.” Kenzie winked at Alan, and Hannah felt a little thrill of excitement. Had Alan said something to his clan members about asking her to be his life mate? Hannah bubbled with anticipation, but there would be time to think about that later. Right now, she wanted to meet the tiny bundles that lay swaddled up next to their mother.

“This is our beautiful little girl, Hope,” Ryker said, handing one of the tiny bundles to Alan. Then he took the second bundle and handed it to Hannah. “And this is our little man cub, Calum. The name Calum means peace.”

“Hope and peace. The future of the Northern Lights Clan,” Alan said, tears gathering in his eyes and threatening to spill over. Hannah could only imagine the emotions he must be feeling right now. She knew he was overjoyed at the additions to the clan, but his heart must break at the fresh reminder that he never got to hold his own little cub in his arms. Ryker seemed to understand this, because he said nothing further, just reached over and gave Alan’s arm a squeeze.

Hannah turned her attention to the little baby in her arms. Calum’s eyes were closed, and he had scrunched his face up into an adorable little scowl. A tiny shock of dark brown hair peeked out from his knit baby hat and onto his forehead. Hannah laughed.

“It looks like he’s not too thrilled with his new surroundings quite yet.”

At the sound of Hannah’s voice, Calum’s eyes flew open. He squinted up at Hannah and his face relaxed.

“Look, I think he likes me! And look at those little violet eyes!”

Ryker grinned and beamed with pride. “Yeah, you can’t see it right now because she’s sleeping, but Hope’s eyes are violet as well. Definitely two little Northern Lights shifter cubs.”

Hannah looked down at Calum and took in his tiny face with wonder. He was so impossibly tiny. His little nose was barely the size of the tip of Hannah’s pinky finger. She glanced over at baby Hope in Alan’s arms. Hope’s eyes were indeed closed, and her face looked serene as she slept.

Hannah took in the sight of Alan holding a tiny baby in his arms, and she couldn’t help but feel a yearning in her chest to see him holding a cub of their own. She forced herself to push the thought away. He hadn’t even officially asked her to be his life mate yet, although from the way the rest of the clan was reacting to Hannah’s presence it seemed they knew he planned to ask Hannah soon. But even once they agreed to become life mates, Hannah didn’t know how Alan felt about having a cub of their own. She didn’t want to bring up the subject, because even now she could see the fresh, raw pain laced across his eyes. The anguish of losing his unborn cub was something he would carry with him the rest of his life. True, time made everything easier to bear. But that didn’t mean the heartache would ever completely disappear. It was one of those things you just learned to live with.

“They’re beautiful,” Alan said, his voice soft and emotional as he handed Hope back to Ryker.

Hannah handed Calum back to Kenzie. “They’re so beautiful,” she said, echoing Alan’s sentiment. “I want to let you get some rest, now, but thank you for sharing your cubs with us. I can’t wait to get to know them, and you, even better.”

Kenzie nodded happily and smiled at Alan and Hannah. “Thanks for coming by, guys. It means a lot to me to see your joy at our new cubs.” Kenzie gave Alan an especially meaningful look, and he started to tear up again.

“Okay, well, we’ll go and let you rest,” Alan said abruptly. After very quick goodbyes to the rest of the clan, Alan and Hannah made their way back to Alan’s cabin. As soon as they closed the door behind them, Alan dissolved into tears.

Hannah took him in her arms and stroked his hair. She didn’t say anything, just held him as he sobbed for several minutes. When his tears finally subsided, he wiped at his eyes and sniffed, looking embarrassed.

“You must think I’m so weak, sitting here sniveling and weeping over something that happened over a year ago. It’s not very manly of me,” Alan said as he stared down at the floor.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Crying doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re strong enough to let go of the pain bottled up inside of you.”

Alan gave Hannah a grateful look, but he still looked sheepish. Hannah took his hand.

“Come here,” she said, leading him into the bedroom. She sat on one side of bed, leaning back against the large, fluffy pillows. Then she patted the empty spot in the bed next to her.

“Sit,” she ordered, and Alan obeyed. He sat next to her and joined her in laying back against the pillows. Hannah reached over and took his hand again, lacing her fingers into his.

“Tell me about her.”

“About Tessa?”

“Yes. What was she like?” Hannah turned her head sideways to look at Alan, who was staring up at the ceiling. For several moments, he remained silent. His eyes teared up, and Hannah thought he might not answer the question. But then he spoke.

“She was beautiful. Petite, with strawberry blonde hair and violet eyes like mine. She was quiet and reserved. Not shy, just quiet. She had a certain aura of tranquility about her, and the ability to remain calm no matter what the circumstances. She didn’t like to fight or rock the boat. She was a peacemaker. One of the kindest people you could have ever met. She would have made such a good mother,” Alan said, his voice catching in his throat. “I still miss her every day. But having you here has made things easier. I’ve seen that it is possible to love again. And I’ve realized that loving again doesn’t mean that I’m disloyal to Tessa. I still cherish her memory, but I know she would have wanted me to be happy. And being here with you makes me happy. You’re different from her. You’ve got much more of a fiery, stubborn streak. But you’re kind, just like she was. She would have liked you.”

Alan finally looked over at Hannah. His eyes still glistened with tears that threatened to spill over, and the rims of his eyelids were red from crying. But he smiled at Hannah.

“I know you’ve faced pain yourself, too,” he said. “Being separated from your clan with no idea where they are can’t be easy. But you’ve stayed so strong and optimistic. You’ve brought beauty back into my life where I thought I’d never find it again.”

Hannah squeezed his hand and leaned over to kiss him. He kissed her back, and then put her arms around her. They lay there together for a long time, holding each other and taking in the warmth and security that comes from being held by someone who loves you.

The shadows in the room grew long as the daylight started to fade away. As the sun set over the horizon, leaving them in the dim, gray light of dusk, Alan snuggled his face against Hannah’s ear.

“Be my life mate, Hannah,” he said. “I know I should plan some extravagant, super romantic proposal. But I’ve never seen you look more beautiful than this moment right now, and I don’t want to wait any longer to ask you. Please, say you’ll be my life mate.”

Hannah held him tighter in the gathering darkness. “Yes. My answer is yes. Always and forever, I’m yours.”

Alan held her tighter and kissed her long and hard. They didn’t say anything else that evening, just laid together happily until they both drifted off to sleep.