Bearly Consenting: Russet Falls Series (11 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Avery fumbled in front of the mirror, chiding herself for
caring so much about how she looked. She had changed clothes twice already, and
she wasn’t sure if she was grateful that she brought too many clothes, or
annoyed that she couldn’t decide on an outfit.

It’s not like Drew hadn’t seen her dressed from everything
to a Vera Wang dress to wearing next to nothing back on the few occasions they
had been intimate in high school.

“Enough!” she said aloud, stomping away from the mirror. She
was wearing what she had on.

End of story.

She wasn’t changing again.

She was dressed in a pair of jean shorts, and a loose fitting
floral shirt. She didn’t look like a slob, but she wasn’t dressed up either.

And they were eating pizza after all!
Her stomach filled with butterflies as she thought of how thoughtful Drew had
been in remembering what she had wanted to do for a date when they had gone to
the gala.

She was still shaken up whenever she thought about how close
she had come to death.

She forced her mind on happier things and grabbed her purse,
slinging it over her shoulder and heading downstairs.

“Going out?” her mother asked, looking up from her magazine.

“Yes,” she said, fidgeting. “Don’t wait up for me.”

Her mother raised her eyebrows. “I’m glad I didn’t plan
dinner yet,” she said slyly.

Avery rolled her eyes. “Mom!”

“What? I didn’t say anything,” her mother said innocently.

“Ugh! Enough!”

Her mother turned serious. “Are you seeing Drew?”

“Possibly.’’

“Just be careful, honey. Your heart is a precious thing.
When someone has already broken it once, you must guard it even more
carefully.”

Avery nodded. She knew her mother’s words were true. And she
was guarding it very carefully.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” Avery asked.

Her mother smiled and blew her a kiss. “Be careful.”

“I will.”

She got in her car, driving nervously to the hotel. What
could she expect? Part of her was afraid to spend time alone with Drew because
she knew how attracted she was to him.

She had always been so careful with him in high school. She
had lost her virginity to Drew, but they had only had sex a handful of times.
She had been so young, and even though Drew was a year older than her, he
hadn’t pushed her to have sex with him.

She had always imagined that they would have their whole
life together to have sex, so she had never rushed it. Little did she know that
Drew would walk away from her and disappear during her senior year.

She was sad just thinking about it.

She dated a few guys in college, and even one or two
afterwards. She had slept with two of them, but it had never felt right. She
always felt like she had been going through the motions, doing what she thought
normal people in relationships should do.

Her stomach flip-flopped.

Would Drew want to sleep with her now?
She rolled her eyes. It didn’t matter what Drew wanted—she was going to do
whatever she was comfortable with doing. Somehow, she didn’t think that
sleeping with Drew now would be good for her.

Or Drew.

There were still so many things unanswered and unspoken
between them.

And something just seemed off with Drew, though she couldn’t
put her finger on it.

The drive to the hotel was quick, and she checked the room
number one more time before she went inside. She hurried past the front desk,
wondering what people were thinking as she walked past them.

She was so self-conscious.

Did they know that she was going to visit her ex-boyfriend?

Was that what Drew was now?

Was he an ex-boyfriend?

A current boyfriend?

Could she even label what was going on?

“Get a grip,” she muttered to herself, walking out of the
elevator and searching for Drew’s room. She found it and before she could freak
herself out anymore, she knocked loudly.

The door opened almost immediately, and Drew stood there,
grinning widely.

“Hi. Come in.”

He opened the door for her and she walked in.

Drew was dressed casually in worn jeans, and a frayed gray
t-shirt.

The room was elegant but simple, and Avery realized that
Drew must have some sort of suite because there was a separate living room with
a couch, TV and table, and then the bedroom was located in the back.

“Nice,” she said quietly, surveying everything.

Drew shrugged, closing the door.

“You look great,” he told her.

Avery blushed. “Thanks. I didn’t want to overdress for
pizza.”

Drew just nodded. “I was waiting to order it. I didn’t know
what you liked on your pizza. Or even where to order from.”

“Oh. I didn’t think about that. I guess the only place I
know of is the Pizza Palace.” Avery thought of the large pizza joint that was
only a few miles away.

Drew looked thoughtful. “Right. I forgot about that place.”
He whipped out his phone, and within seconds he had pulled up the number. “What
do you like on your pizza?”

“Anything really. Except onions. Or anchovies.” She made a
face.

“How about half cheese and half sausage? Does that work?”

Avery nodded.

Drew dialed and ordered the pizza and then set the phone
down, giving Avery his full attention.

“Now, where were we?” he asked, his eyes darkening and his
voice taking on a husky tone.

“I didn’t think we were anywhere,” she laughed nervously. “I
just arrived.”

“Right,” he said. “Well, I can fix that.”

He grabbed her hand, pulling her towards him, and kissing
her.

Avery thought of pushing him away, but couldn’t.

Besides, she was a grown woman.

She could do what she wanted, and a little kissing never
hurt anyone.

She kissed Drew back, dropping her bag to the ground and
winding her fingers in his hair.

“You seem more relaxed,” she murmured.

Drew wasn’t holding himself with the same tension that she
had become accustomed too. And his brow wasn’t furrowed the way she had seen it
lately.

Drew ran his hands along her back, pressing his mouth
against her throat. “I am more relaxed. You’re here.” He paused. “And I
finished up the with the business that brought me out here.”

“Want to share what you had to do?” she couldn’t help
asking.

He shook his head, kissing her again. “It would bore you,”
he said in between kisses.

“Doubtful,” she murmured back.

Drew pulled her towards the couch, sinking down and pulling
her into his lap.

He was warm and muscular and she couldn’t help but run her
hands over his biceps, admiring the man he had become.

Drew groaned, reaching around to each of her thighs and
positioning her body so that she was straddling him.

Avery didn’t resist at all.

She wrapped her legs around him, kissing him eagerly, as she
slowly rocked back and forth in his lap.

She instantly could tell that Drew was aroused.

“God, Avery,” he groaned, squeezing her bottom and pulling
him closer to his erection. He slipped her shirt off her right shoulder, bringing
his mouth to her warm skin.

He placed heated kisses on her shoulder, trailing them down
on the exposed skin and then back towards the base of her neck. He then slipped
his hands under her shirt, running them over her stomach and making her groan
wantonly.

What the hell was going on?

Hadn’t she come here with goals of resisting him?

It clearly wasn’t working very well for her.

His hands were sliding further and further up her middle,
and then he crushed his lips to her, making her gasp from the sensation and
ferocity.

“Oh!” she groaned, kissing him back, as she pushed her tongue
into his mouth, running her tongue along his teeth.

He groaned again, his hands moving over her breasts.

A loud knock at the door interrupted him.

Avery pulled back, confused, her eyes bright with her own
lust and desire.

“The pizza,” Drew gasped.

“Right. Pizza,” she said breathlessly, hopping off him and
turning her back to him to fix her clothes.

She had gotten way too carried away.

She heard Drew clear his throat and then move towards the
door. Avery took a few steps away, breathing heavily, her heart hammering in
her chest.

What had just happened?

She raked her hands through her hair, fixed her shorts and
straightened her blouse. She heard Drew greet the pizza deliveryman, and then
he closed the door again and it was just them.

“Pizza,” he said, his voice sounding funny.

Avery turned around, hoping she didn’t look as confused as
she felt.

Drew set it down on the table and walked towards her. “I
guess we got a little carried away, huh?”

“Yes,” she said biting her lip. “A little.”

“You know I wouldn’t hurt you, right?” he asked.

Did she?

“Not intentionally,” she said slowly.

Drew looked at her and finally nodded. “Come on. Let’s eat,”
he said changing the subject.

Avery felt the mood lighten and she followed Drew to the
table. He handed her a paper plate, pulled out a chair and opened up the pizza
box to get her a slice.

She smiled at him and shook her head.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“I’m not eating at the table.”

He frowned. “Why not?”

She smiled. “We said the couch.”

Drew laughed. “Right. Pizza and the couch.” He laughed
again, and Avery loved the carefree sound of it.

Right now Drew most resembled the young boy that she had
fallen in love with. No slicked back hair or fancy business suit or powerful
business office.

Just Drew.

And dressed in ripped jeans and a t-shirt.

She smiled at him like a fool and Drew laughed again.
“What?” he asked self-consciously, putting a slice of cheese and a slice of
sausage on her plate.

“Nothing,” she said shaking her head, as she walked over to
the couch and plopped down. “It’s just that right now you remind me so much of
the Drew that I remember from high school.”

He gave her a sad smile. “Do I seem that different to you?”

“Not always,” she answered truthfully. “But sometimes you
seem so much older, so much sadder, so much,” she trailed off. “I don’t know.
It’s like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders sometime.”

Drew nodded thoughtfully, getting his own pizza and moving
next to her on the couch. “I do feel like that sometimes. I’ve accomplished a
lot, though I’ve had some help, but with all the success comes a lot of
responsibility. And a lot of stress.”

“Is it worth it?” she couldn’t help asking.

Drew was quiet for a minute. “I don’t know. Sometimes yes.
Sometimes no. I don’t know if I ever could have advanced in the tribe.”

Avery knew what Drew meant. He had come from a terrible
family and that reputation would have preceded him everywhere in the tribe.

“I hope it was worth it,” she said, thinking about what his
choice had done to her.

“Me too,” he said sadly.

Avery took a bite of the pizza, savoring the warm cheese and
tomato sauce. Drew seemed to be in a sharing mood, so she decided to press her
luck. “What about your dreams? Do you still want the same things out of life?
Marriage? A family?”

She’d be lying if she didn’t say she was curious for her own
reasons. As much as she cared for Drew, it would be hard to move forward with
him, or anyone, whose goals didn’t line up with her own.

“Wow, this conversation changed directions quickly,” he said
nervously.

“Sorry!” she said, embarrassed. She shouldn’t have asked the
questions.

“No, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not, Drew. I’m sorry. We are just supposed to be
hanging out and eating pizza. And here I am asking you about what you want for
the future.”

Drew sat his pizza down and looked her in the eye.

“Avery. It’s okay. You have every right to ask those
questions. And you know that we are not
just
hanging out and eating
pizza. It’s more than that.” He paused. “Right?”

She gulped, putting her own plate down.

She nodded.

It was more than that.

“Okay. Glad we are on the same page. And yes, my goals are
the same. But it hasn’t been until recently that I decided my goals were the
same.” His eyes darkened and they took on a faraway look. “There was a while
where I was certain that I didn’t want those things. I didn’t think that I
deserved those things.”

That broke Avery’s heart and she reached out and took his
hands. “Of course you deserve those things,” she assured him.

He gave a bitter laugh. “No. I’m still not sure that I
deserve those things, but I want them anyway.” He looked at her fiercely, and
Avery knew with certainty that Drew meant that he wanted those things with
her.