BEAST: A Bad Boy Marine Romance (35 page)

I
GLANCED DOWN
AT THE ring on my finger. I was a married woman now. I never thought any man would love or accept Gabriel and me. But Pat loved me; I knew he did, not just from his words, but from his actions.

We’d celebrated all day on the lake, playing in the sand on the beach. Gabriel loved Pat. And though I hadn’t been able to choose Gabriel’s birth father, I had just given Gabriel the best gift of all. I’d chosen him the best father for life. Pat accepted Gabriel as his own. And it made me love him even more.

Patrick began Gabriel’s bedtime routine as I snuck up to the bedroom. I felt more nervous than ever. Despite my proclamations that I was healed, would I shut down during sex? Push him away, cry from pain instead of pleasure?

I drew myself a hot bath and slipped in. Strawberry scented bubbles filled the tub, and I relaxed into the suds. Tonight was a new beginning for me. I would wash my past away.

I heard the bedroom door creak open. I didn’t want to wait another minute. I let out the water, exited the tub, and slathered on some lotion. A white silk camisole and matching panties beckoned me. I glanced at my body in the mirror. All the years I’d been taken, I’d hated myself. But now, I really saw myself as beautiful. I was a wife, I was a mother. I wasn’t dirty, I wasn’t a whore. And I couldn’t wait to make love to my husband.

I exited the bathroom. Patrick sat on the edge of the bed, and he just stared at me. “God, you’re perfect. I love you, Mrs. Walsh. You’re all mine now.”

I focused on him. His beauty, his strength. His muscles sculpted from carrying boats over his head, pushing logs on the beach. Rugged and real, he was mine. I undressed for my husband, slowly, his blue eyes following my every move.

I placed my arms around his neck, his masculine scent driving me wild. His lips traveled from my face, to my ears, to my neck. We kissed, slowly, emotionally.

I wanted him to feel how much I loved him. I tugged at his belt, and pulled off his shorts.

He stopped and reached for a condom. But condoms seemed dirty to me, reminded me of being back at the brothel. I pushed it out of his hand.

“Babe, I want to feel every inch of you inside me. Please, make love to me.”

He seemed almost hesitant as I took off his boxers. I leaned in to take him into my mouth, but he pushed me away.

A look of shame crossed his face. “No.” He placed his hand on the swell of my back, kissed my lips. “Come here.”

I climbed on top of him, grinding my hips into his. His hands cupped my ass, steering my movements, pushing me toward pleasure.

He nuzzled his head into my chest, licking, sucking, rubbing my nipples. No more teasing. I couldn’t wait any longer; I wanted to feel him inside of me.

“Now, I want you now. Please, don’t make me wait any longer.”

I needed him. All of him. Completely.

We were face-to-face, bodies intertwined. He slowly guided me onto him, staring into my eyes. I gasped as I felt his hard cock penetrate me. But my fear went away. There were no flashbacks. We were finally becoming one. After all the nights of longing, apart, we’d made our way back to each other. This man, my husband, loved me. He kissed my face, went slow, and let me control the motion, the need.

He kissed my nipples. Then stopped, cupped my chin and looked me in the eyes. “I love you, baby.”

My confidence rose. This wasn’t some cheap sexual encounter. He was now the father of my child.

He sucked on my nipples as I rode him, I couldn’t get enough. Slow and shallow at first, then fast and deep. Every push and pull felt incredible. His big arms, his sexy chest, he was so goddam sexy. I was so fucking wet, there was a deep throbbing in my belly, in my soul. Faster, deeper, every thrust, every moan, brought me closer to Pat. “Pat, oh-my-God. Pat.”

“Come for me, baby.”

His words took me over the edge. I was almost there, but I held back, wanting to stay at this pleasure point for as long as I could. My hips bucked, I thrashed on him, rocking on his hips, little circles and twists, my core on fire.

“Pat, you’re so fucking incredible. OhmyGod. Pat.” I came, again and again, his body steady, waiting out my pleasure. Euphoria overtook my body, and he finally exploded inside me. Filling me with such joy. This was the most amazing high ever, even better than heroin.

“I love you, Annie. Finding you was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

I collapsed onto the bed. For once, I didn’t need to explain my feelings, my emotions. I cuddled up into my husband’s strong embrace, and he rocked me to sleep.

A
FEW DAYS LATER
, I woke up with her in my arms. Her head was tucked under my chin and she was curled up in front of me, leg thrown over my thighs and hair strewn across my pillow.

I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me. I needed the connection that only she was able to provide. The movement startled her and her eyes shot open and she gasped. When she realized it was me, her body relaxed and she gave me a sleepy smile.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.”

“What time is it?”

“It’s early. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“That’s okay.” She snuggled closer and kissed my jaw line. “This is nice. What do we have planned today?”

“Well, I figured we could stop by my mom’s on the way back to San Diego, say hi. I haven’t called her since I got back and she would probably want to know her baby boy has gotten himself married to a beautiful woman, and has a son.”

She jerked backwards. “You haven’t called your mom since you’ve been back? Patrick Walsh how could you!” She paused, then her eyes widened and she rolled out of bed. “Oh, my God, I have to get dressed.”

I grabbed for her, but she pulled away and started babbling to herself as she sorted through her things. “Baby, come on. She’s not going to care what you look like, I promise.”

“Says you. Of course, she’s going to care what I look like. I can’t meet your mom for the first time looking like a mess.”

She grabbed a pile of things and headed toward the bathroom, but I jumped out of bed and stopped her. “All she will see are the same things I see when I look at you. Someone who is strong, loyal, and kind. I don’t want you to freak out about this. Trust me; she will think you’re the best woman on Earth.”

Tears filled her eyes and I crushed her to my chest. “Please, don’t worry,” I told her. “She’s going to love you. You look beautiful in anything.”

Later, we pulled up to my childhood home. It looked the same, and even though it was a dump, it was home to me. My mom had scraped and saved all her money to buy this place so I could have a permanent home.

My mom ran out the door, her hair with a few more gray streaks than the last time I saw her. “Pat, I’m so happy you’re home. Is this your new girlfriend?”

When I called to tell her I was coming by, I’d simply told her I was bringing someone special. I owed it to my mom to tell her in person. “Mom, this is Annie. Annie Walsh. And our son, Gabriel.”

My mom clutched my arm. Her eyes immediately darted to Annie’s left ring finger and then to her belly. “You eloped and didn’t tell me? Pat, how could you?”

“Sorry, Mom. I proposed last week and we got married that day. I wanted to do it before I deployed again and we were in Nevada. We’ll have a big wedding later.”

My mom and I had always been close. She knew my views on marriage and that I would never ever enter into it lightly. I’d been raised to respect women. Even if I had veered off course. “I’m a grandmother?” She knelt down and hugged Gabriel. “Is there another baby on the way?”

“Jesus, Mom. No. She’s not pregnant.” At least I didn’t think she was. We hadn’t been using protection and we’d been making love every chance we could.

Annie stood by my side. Her own parents were so icy. I figured she didn’t even know what to say to my mom.

“Well, come inside.” My mom hugged Annie. “Welcome to the family. I always wanted a daughter and a grandson.”

“It’s an honor to meet you, Mrs. Walsh.”

“Please, Annie, call me Tracy. Or better yet Mom, if you feel comfortable. I have to get to know the woman who tamed my son. Gabriel, do you like trains?”

We went inside and sat on the sofa. My mom found one of my old train sets and set it out for Gabriel. She had prepared all my favorites: meatloaf, mashed potatoes, zucchini boats, and chocolate chip cookies. All from scratch.

Annie went into the bathroom to freshen up, Gabriel was watching television, and my mom pulled me inside the kitchen.

“Patrick Joseph Walsh, she is
the
Annie Hamilton, isn’t she? The girl from all the news stories who ran away from her family?”

I could never lie to my mom. “Yes. But that story was a cover up by her parents. She was kidnapped and forced into sex slavery. Gabriel is her child by the man who’d kidnapped her.”

Her mouth dropped. “Are you serious? I never believed the story on the news. There’d been sightings of her, even pictures on some escort website.” My mom lived for true crime stories, people who vanished without a trace, unsolved mysteries. She probably knew more about Annie’s disappearance than I did. “Pat, were you the one who saved her?”

“Yes.”

I don’t know how most moms would react to finding out their son had married a former prostitute, even if the girl had been kidnapped. But my mom wasn’t most moms.

“I’m proud of you, son. You’re a great man.”

I winced. I’d left out the part that I’d hired Annie in the brothel. My mom didn’t need the details. She’d be disgusted by me.

“As a woman, I’m even prouder of the fact you can love her and look beyond her past. Not many men would be able to do that and treat her with respect. And love another man’s child.” Her eyes looked pained. I knew she always felt guilty, that it was somehow her fault that I never had a dad. “She’s lovely and so is my grandson. I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

Annie emerged and sat down on the sofa. My mom brought out old photo albums and decided to embarrass the shit out of me.

“Here’s Pat with his favorite teddy bear.”

Annie loved the old pictures. I just sat back and watched her bond with my mom. If I’d taken the reward money her dad offered, I could’ve bought my mom a new house. I wished I could take care of her, maybe even move her down to San Diego so she could be close to Annie and Gabriel when I was gone.

“So what was Pat like as a kid?” Annie asked, with a gleam in her eye.

“Pat was very sweet and sensitive. Very attached to me. Loved trains and dogs. Always tried to protect me.”

“So, pretty much exactly how he is now.”

I laughed. “I’m hardly sweet.”

“You are, too. And super romantic. He remembers everything I say. Then he stores it in his brain and when I’m not expecting it—bam! All my dreams come true.”

My mom was eating this up. I rarely had the chance to spend quality time with her anymore, so I think getting a glimpse into my adult life was fascinating to her.

After humiliating me a bit more, Mom finally put the albums away. We put Gabriel to sleep.

“Well, Annie,” Mom said, “it’s been a pleasure. Please, you’re welcome in my home anytime. When Pat deploys, I hope you’ll come up here and visit me. I want to get to know my daughter-in-law and my grandson.”

“I’d love that.”

They hugged, then my mom turned to me.

“I love you, Patrick. I’m so proud of you.”

“Love you, too.”

Annie and I went to my childhood room and snuggled up in bed. My Little League awards were still on the shelves, a cheesy poster of a topless Britney Spears wearing nothing but white cotton panties trimmed with pink lace hung on the wall. Exactly as I had remembered.

Annie glanced around the room. Probably wondering why my room was stuck in a time warp and hers had been turned into a museum. “I love your mom. She’s so different from mine. Sweet and warm.”

This was my opportunity. I had to tell her. But I couldn’t. She seemed so happy, and I didn’t want to ruin it.

“She’s your family now. And she means it—when I’m gone, if you get lonely, fly up here. She’ll take care of you and Gabriel. I need you to promise me you’ll come see her.”

“Of course, I will.” She kissed me. We lay there a while in the dark. “Pat, I’m worried about telling my parents we eloped. You’re coming with me, right?”

Damn straight. She wasn’t setting foot in that house without me. And if my talk with her father went as I expected it would, I doubted she’d ever see them again. “You can count on it.”

She drifted to sleep in my arms. Before I met Annie, my only goal in life was to survive and protect my fellow men. But now, my attention was split. I felt torn by my desire to protect her and loyalty to my Team. Maybe this is why I’d always felt the Navy didn’t want the SEALs to have wives or families, despite what they said about the importance of a support system. Because, if I had to choose between my Team and Annie, without a doubt I’d choose her.

I
WOKE
THE NEXT MORNING to the sound of Gabriel singing Thomas the Train songs. Annie was missing from my bed. I threw on some clothes and followed the scents of coffee and bacon into the kitchen.

After breakfast, I’d planned to show Gabriel and Annie around my town.

“Why don’t you two newlyweds sneak away? I can take Gabriel to the river train. I want to bond with my grandson.”

I looked at Annie. We hadn’t been alone—like ever. Except that hour on the beach in Coronado.

“It’s fine, Mom. We can all go to the train together.” I didn’t feel right leaving Gabriel alone. I trusted my mom, but he didn’t know her.

Annie put her hand on my thigh. “Gabriel will be fine. Don’t worry about him. Let’s get out of here.”

“Relax, Pat. I raised you; I can watch my own grandson. We will have fun.”

“Fine, Mom. Call me if you need anything. We’ll be nearby.”

Annie and I said goodbye to Gabriel, and left.

I didn’t have a fucking clue where to take her. “I’ll show you around Sacramento.”

Annie had a glint in her eye, she licked her lips. “I have a better idea. Let’s go to a hotel.”

Didn’t have to ask me twice. “Sounds like a plan.”

Blood rushed through my body, my mind went wild. Yes, Annie was my wife. And we’d made love every day since we’d been married. But I couldn’t help but hold back. Gabriel was always around, and I was still paranoid about Annie having flashbacks. All my fantasies about her just didn’t seem right knowing about her past. My only goal was to make her happy. So our lovemaking had been sweet, tame, loving. Incredible, emotional, intense. But I wanted to get raw, dirty, nasty. Did she?

I tossed the valet my keys. Annie wrapped her body under my arms, stroking my leg, nuzzling my neck. We walked up to the reception desk, Annie’s hands all over me.

“Welcome to the Sacramento Hilton. Do you have a reservation?”

“No, we don’t. Just a room for the night, please.”

Annie whispered into my ear, “I want you. I can’t wait for you to touch me. Fuck me.”

The middle-aged clerk with mousy brown hair pulled into a tight bun raised her eyebrow at us.

Annie was giggling, kissing me. I kept my cool and handed the clerk my credit card.

I couldn’t race to the room fast enough.

When we arrived on our floor, I scooped Annie in my arms. I never had a chance to carry her over the threshold. The first time we’d made love, was about me making sure she was okay, not traumatized. Now, I wanted to fulfill her fantasies.

I placed her on the bed, about to kiss her. But she had other ideas.

She pounced on me, wrapping her arms and legs around me.

Game time. I’d been dying to take control.

I shoved her against the wall, pinning her wrists above her head. She writhed in my grasp. My lips took hers, not loving kisses; we’d had enough of those. Strong, desire, lust. It wasn’t sweet—it was primal, raw. Mine, she was my woman.

Before I could go further, I had to tell her something. “You have to promise to let me know if you are okay.”

“Shut up, Pat, and fuck me.”

Yes, ma’am. Her words went straight to my cock. Our kisses were frenzied, frantic. Her hands dropped to my belt, she pushed my jeans to the floor. I hiked up her skirt, rubbed her wet pussy through her panties.

“Pat, baby, don’t stop.”

I had no intention of stopping. I slid her panties off but kept her heels on. A wicked smile across her face melted me.

I knelt beneath her, dying for a taste. My mouth attacked her lips, plunging into her wet flesh. Her hips arched and she gasped. My fingers pressed up inside of her. She was so moist, so tender.

Her grip tightened on my hair, and she pulled me up.

I turned her toward the wall, one hand on her clit, rubbing her warm pussy.

I paused for a second, just to glance at her again. We needed this moment; I needed reassurance that she really wanted me like this. She squeezed my hand, and I knew she was present.

I slid my cock into her. She let out a long moan. My hands cradled her fine ass, every thrust, every push, bringing me closer to her core.

“Pat, oh my God. You’re so hard, baby. Don’t stop fucking me.”

I fucked her deeper, faster. Every time she let out a pleasure filled sigh, it almost sent me straight to the edge. I cupped her breast with one hand and pressed her clit into my other hand.

“You feel so fucking good baby. You’re so wet.”

Her pussy clenched around me and released. It was so fucking hot.

She gasped, I knew she was close. She dug her nails into my thighs. “I’m going to come baby.”

“Mine, Annie. You are mine. Forever. I fucking love you.” I had intended to keep the love talk out of it, but I didn’t care. I was so sprung on her, on my wife. The safety, the love, the comfort. Knowing that no man but me would ever touch her. That I trusted her. I knew that when I left on this deployment, she wouldn’t cheat. I’d never felt that security.

I turned her to me, wanted to see her beautiful face, watch her mouth curl as she came. I threw her onto the bed, and climbed on top of her. Her hair was wild, her face was flush. A blanket of joy washed over her face.

She rocked her hips up on mine, taking me in deeper with every thrust. Licking her nipples, kissing her neck, my cock throbbed. Her pussy was so wet, so swollen, so hot.

“Fuck, Annie. Come for me, baby.”

“Pat, ohmyGod. Yes.”

Her pussy clenched on my cock.

“Annie!” I cradled her through her orgasm. She came again, and again. Her pussy crashed down on me and I let myself go.

It wasn’t about the sex; I loved her no matter what. But I never thought we’d get here. I never thought we’d be able to have a normal sex life, that I’d always have to be careful with her. Knowing that we could fulfill all of each other’s fantasies, without having her flash back, made me love her even more.

When we finally separated, my body shivered. For once, our roles reversed, she turned to comfort me. “You okay?”

I touched my wife, kissed her on the neck. “No, Annie. I don’t want to leave you. I can’t imagine being away from you.”

“You’ll never be away from me. When I was waiting for you to come back for me, I just focused on your energy. I felt your presence. We are connected. Deeply. We will never be apart.”

For the first time in my life, I imagined a life outside of the Teams. Being a SEAL was the only thing I’d ever wanted to do. I thought marrying her would make it easier for me to go, knowing she was taken care of. But I had no desire to go a day without my wife and child by my side.