Beats (12 page)

Oh God. Toombs is inside me. His dick fills me not only physically but emotionally. I had no clue how much I needed him until now. Even with Rax hammering him from behind, Toombs is with
me
. All the way. I feel it in his touch. We’re connected.

He’s absolute
perfection
.

I wish I could see his face. Since I can’t, I focus on his rhythm. I buck against the balls softly slapping the stud in my hood. Rax disappears from our song, and there’s only Toombs, buffering, tempering the blows driving us both.

“Don’t you dare come inside her, Toombs.” Rax’s attempt at further control. What the hell does he care if Toombs comes inside me? He’s wearing a condom. Unless Rax wants first dibs.

Screw him.

“Come wherever and whenever you want, Toombs,” I say. I may not have any sway over Toombs while Rax is around, but I’m damn sure going to fight for him every opportunity I get.

Toombs moans. Hands wander around to my swinging breasts. He thumbs my nipple rings and launches another round of gentle thrusts despite the brutal ones he endures behind me.

Oh my God. He’s trying to protect me from Rax. His tenderness kills me.

“Yes,” I whisper. “Just like that.” I lower my cheek to the covers and absorb him. Rax might be driving this train, but Toombs is the one inside me. Toombs owns me. Not Rax.

Our beats become one. Heart beats. Drum beats. Sex beats. My body shudders under Toombs’s reluctant command. His beads rub me just right. He glides slow enough to keep from abrading me, but fast enough to make me lust for more. His hands warm my ass. His hurried breaths match mine. I imagine his lids are heavy with hunger for me.

I love you,
I wish I could say. Instead, “I want your cum.”

A low groan issues from behind me, building, rising in pitch. Rax. “Oh, fuck, I’m gonna give it to you, baby.”

All forward motion stops. Toombs pulls out. The bed dips. Rax flips me onto my back and hovers over my spread legs, Toombs beside him. Two dicks point at me. The condoms come off.

Rax’s head drops back. “Fuuuck…” he pumps his erection and cuts loose all over the blank canvas above my pussy. Thick white globs decorate my belly like icing on a cake. Five, six, seven shots…still coming…

I meet Toombs’s silver gaze. “Kiss me while you come.” I urge him closer.

He glances to Rax, who’s coaxing the last of his load onto me.

“Don’t look at him. Look at
me
.”

Reticence underscores his expression, but Toombs crawls the length of my body, hovering above me, stroking his cock. His lips hit mine, and something inside me explodes. Not an orgasm, but a heartgasm.

Rax disappears from my line of sight.

My arms curl around Toombs’s neck. I take control of his dick. His kiss warms my soul from the inside out. He’s heaven. Pure and simple. Disarming in his frightening ink and gauche piercings.

“Bite me,” Toombs mumbles between kisses. Urgent. Desperate. “Slap me. Scratch me. I need you to hurt me, Jinx.”

What? I pull back and stare at him, hoping the question is obvious in my eyes.

I can’t hurt him. I just can’t.

His expression pleads.

I caress his cheek and beg back.
Please don’t make me do this.

A loud crack sears the air. At first I think it’s lightning, but Toombs’s entire body jerks. He arches backward, baring clenched teeth.

Rax stands behind him, wielding a belt, an evil grin plastered over his face.

Quaking with outrage, fear, and disbelief, I yell, “Stop it!” Instinct takes over, and I tighten my arms around Toombs to protect him.

Toombs shakes his head, reclaims his erection from my palm, and pumps it hard. He
wants
Rax to hit him. Another snap of leather across Toombs’s ass. I jump at the terrible sound, and squeeze my eyes shut. When I reopen them, Toombs’s face slackens, rife with forbidden desire. Rife with pleasure I don’t understand. Rife with submission.

But submission to whom? Rax or me? Or both?

“Goddamn it. Fuck…” Toombs explodes all over my belly through uneven hisses, anchoring his gaze on my wide eyes as if we’ve done this countless times before. His lips drop to mine. I indulge greedily, cling to his mouth, his touch, his everything.

I’m consumed. By what, I don’t know. A bizarre mixture of confusion, elation, fear, uncertainty, guilt, triumph, and loss of control…Whatever it is, this energy between us, these raging, perfectly matched heartbeats must mean something.

Rax snaps the makeshift whip once more, ruining our moment of communion, stealing the air from Toombs’s lungs, and mine by default.

“Stop it!” I shout again. I don’t want to be turned on, but the pure, wild need smeared across Toombs’s face makes me so fucking wet.

Rax laughs.

Toombs is still coming. The heat of each squirt on my burning flesh is a strange affirmation that he at least cares.

What have I gotten myself into with these two? My brain is scrambled.

Forget about it for now. You can sort it out tomorrow. Just feel him. Just be with him. Love him while he’ll let you.

I claim his lips again and will my thoughts to merge into his.
I love you, Toombs Badcock. I don’t understand you, but damn it, I love you.

The subtle press of his tongue into mine tells me he got my message. That’s all I need.

When the heat of the moment simmers, Toombs backs off me, his skin flushed and sweaty from exertion. He and Rax exchange smirks like a secret handshake, and both dive face first into the puddle of cum on my belly. My knees react, barely missing their noses. Tongues swirl through white cream, mingling and tickling me. A fresh rush of liquid warmth floods my pussy. There’s a ninety percent chance I’ll spontaneously combust if they keep this up.

They make a show of savoring their prize, like wild lions burying their faces in the blood of their kill. A rivulet escapes the corner of Toombs’s mouth, and Rax rescues it with a quick sweep.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

When their mouths settle on mine, I’m a goner.

The three of us become one. Like our music onstage with thunder punctuating the rhythm in the background. Rax’s tongue pushes Toombs out of the way, and fills my palate with the combined taste of them. I don’t have the strength to fight, so I submit to Rax’s invasive kisses. Wiping his mouth with the flat of his hand, Toombs watches longingly.
Jealously
.

“Goddamn, wild thing.” Lightning illuminates Rax’s face. Pure possession. He grinds his semihard dick against my thigh and licks my cum-drenched lips. “I think I love you.” Thunder crashes.

Rax is going to be a serious problem.

Intermission

February 24 – Baton Rouge, Louisiana

I wake to the pattering of raindrops against glass in predawn darkness. A warm body spans the length of my back, shoulders to calves. An arm rests within the valley above my hip. Coveting. I smile and stretch into him. When I do, pressure between my legs surprises me. Oh my God. Two fingers are crooked inside me. Fluid releases without my permission. I moan as a fresh wave of desire hits my aching pussy, demanding to be sated.

A sleepy sigh hits my ears.

I tense. The lust makes a hasty retreat to the cave from whence it came.

It’s not Toombs.

I lift the covers. Snake scale tattoos cover the arm clamping me in place. Rax.

I squint, searching the dim room, desperate for reassurance that Toombs is here. No sign of him anywhere. Damn it.

I gently ease Rax’s fingers out of me and gasp. Much as I despise Rax and his hold over Toombs, he
did
things to my body last night. Not the way Toombs did, but close.

Scooting gingerly toward the edge of the bed, I glance at Rax’s sleeping form. Long waves of dark hair hide his face. Just as well. I’d rather not get sucked into the mess that is Rax again.

God, what the
hell
did I do?

I flip my long blond locks out of my eyes and smooth my forehead.

You did them both, Gianna. Toombs is gone. Rax dug his fangs into you. Things will never be the same with the band.

Shit. The band. I can’t even go there. My life is so screwed right now, and Megaphonia expects us to have an entire album ready to record in just a few days.

I’m not ready. For any of this.

Gotta get out of here. I hit the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth. Where are my clothes? Damn, I thought I left my bag in here.

I return into the main room. Rax snores softly on the bed. I avoid looking at him and head for the other bedroom. When I get there, I flip on the lights and stop dead in my tracks.

A set of drums greets me. Not mine. Toombs’s. What the hell?

“You in the mood to play?” Toombs’s voice from the chair in the corner startles me.

I clutch my chest. If that’s not a loaded question, I don’t know what is. Self-conscious about my lack of clothing, I awkwardly cross an arm over my breasts and cover downstairs with my other hand. Not that Toombs hasn’t seen me in all my glory, but I feel so weird right now. Guilty. I can’t look him in the face. And without alcohol to fuel my wanton lust, I’m back to being struck speechless.

He stands. Dressed in his usual black everything, he comes my way and stops a couple feet from me.

“They brought my kit over while you were in the shower last night.” His cinnamon gum makes my mouth water. I’m dying for another taste of him. Without Rax.

“Why?” My voice sounds so weak.

“I thought I’d work on some new beats since you don’t seem interested in writing music for Killer Buzz Float.”

I snap my gaze to his. Anger sears my words. “Not sure what you mean by that.”

Eyes flashing, he closes the gap between us. Gone is the submissive Toombs held in Rax’s thrall. “You know exactly what I mean. Why don’t you just admit you’re scared? Or ask for help?”

I drop my arms. “I’m not scared.
You
are.”

The condescension in his harsh laugh rakes my nerves. “What do I have to be scared of?”

“Rax.”

“You don’t know the first thing about us.”

“Oh? Then how about you fill me in? I’m dying to hear why you let him control you.”

“He controls nothing.”

“He tells you what you can and can’t do. He dictates everything, including what you’re allowed to do with me. I thought we all agreed before we came to this hotel there would be no inhibitions. I guess that rule doesn’t apply to you because your
Dom
says so.” Furious, I face the door. I’m leaving.

He snags my elbow and spins me around, right into his arms. My skin flushes as his limbs entangle mine. Gentle but firm. I’m not going anywhere. Not that I really wanted to.

“I do what Rax says because I choose to.”

“So, it has nothing to do with being his totally whipped sub?” I shouldn’t have said that. I gotta quit sounding so jealous, even if I am. And I have no right to demean his choice of lifestyle simply because I don’t get it.

“Not a thing.”

“Why Rax?” I keep the real question poised at the tip of my tongue to myself:
Why a sub?

“We have history.”

History doesn’t mean shit if it’s built on a foundation of lies. I wonder if Toombs has any clue that Rax cheated on him with Letty and Shades. And if Rax cheated once, he’s probably done it a hundred times. He’s a snake through and through.

I push out of Toombs’s embrace and stomp over to the drum kit, my nakedness forgotten. I run my knuckles over the head of the snare drum. Toombs watches like a hawk. I can’t tell if he’s protective of his set—I would be too—or if he’s interested in what I’ll do. I sit on his stool and cross my legs. “Tell me about your ‘history.’”

His gaze drops to my breasts, and he licks his lips. I adjust my posture to slouch a little and hunch my shoulders. He settles on the edge of the bed and seems to gather his thoughts for a moment before speaking.

“We’ve been friends since we were little kids. Grew up in the same neighborhood in Athens.”

He’s actually going to
talk
to me? Well, it’s about time. “Where?” I ask.

“Off Milledge. Near Five Points.”

I raise a brow. That part of town is expensive. Old money? Surely not. Neither he nor Rax fits the rich-kid stereotype. But neither does Shades, and his dad’s a multimillionaire.

He crosses an ankle over his knee and fiddles with his shoelace as he continues. “We went to Central together. Became inseparable, played music, started a few bands. He was my wingman, and I was his. I had a girlfriend my senior year. Her parents were country clubbers like mine. It got serious. We talked about getting married after college. I liked her that much.

“But, I had these weird compulsions. I discovered I loved pain. I’d jerk off, and the only way I could come was if I hurt myself—squeezing my nuts, cutting, whatever. I couldn’t do that shit with my girl around. After a while, she caught on that I was faking orgasms and wanted to know what my problem was. Said she might want to have kids one day and had a right to know if there was something wrong with me.

“I trusted her enough to believe she’d understand. So, I asked her to hit me while we were having sex. She freaked the fuck out and threatened to tell everyone at school I was a pervert. I knew if my parents found out, they’d take me in for counseling or some bullshit drama I didn’t need. I begged her not to rat me out. She agreed. We broke it off, and she never spoke to me again.

“If it hadn’t been for Rax, I might’ve killed myself. I was so fucked up mentally, emotionally. I didn’t understand the compulsion—my intense
need
for pain. I only knew it was who I was.”

Toombs lifts his gaze to mine. Raw emotion flays his face. I want to rush into his arms and hold him. To whisper soothing words in his ear. To kiss those lips I’ve come to love. Instead, I shiver.

“Rax helped me get through the rest of senior year. He told me to forget about those uptight bitches. They would never understand. But he did. We experimented, messed around, jerked each other off. I never thought of either of us as gay. We’re just…us. He did what it took to get me off. As a friend.”