Beautiful Distraction (14 page)

Her body milked him with her orgasm and he felt his seed move. Gently, he set her aside and spent away from her.

As he wiped his hand on a handkerchief, he looked at her. She had smoothed her chemise over her body and was watching him with a frown.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked softly.

She shook her head. “There was no physical pain.”

He flinched, for that left the question open for other kinds of pain. Of course, he felt those too. And hadn’t she been the one to cause it?

He tugged his trousers back up around his hips and buttoned his half-open shirt. As he fixed himself, she continued to watch him. Finally, she drew a short breath.

“Did you come here to talk to me?” she asked. “To hear me out?”

He faced her, straightening his shoulders, hardening his expression. But he couldn’t fully harden his heart. When he looked at her, he felt both a huge swell of love and a stab of betrayal and pain. At the moment, the pain was strong, almost as powerful as the love.

He turned away. “I don’t know why I came here,” he admitted.

Olivia couldn’t help the sharp intake of air at his answer to her question. She just wished she didn’t have to feel the anguish that accompanied it. She had been so hopeful when Mal showed up at her door. She had dared to believe that he had come here to hear her out.

Instead, it seemed he had only come here to fuck her. Was that a pleasure or a punishment?

She carefully gathered her composure and whispered, “Mal, I want to tell you my side of the story.”

She had hardly gotten the words out that he began to shake his head in the negative.

“Not yet, not yet,” he muttered as he made for the door.

She took a few steps after him. “You say ‘not yet’—does that mean you’ll come back?”

He paused at the door and looked at her briefly. She couldn’t stop her lip from trembling or the tears that kept stinging her eyes. But she could lift her chin and straighten her shoulders and show him some tiny bit of strength.

“Yes,” he finally admitted in a rough and broken voice. “I’ll come back tomorrow night.”

She nearly buckled with relief. She could see his emotion and that meant he still cared for her. He was hurt, but what they had wasn’t entirely broken. Still she pushed him, challenged him. Because she loved him and she wasn’t about to give up so easily.

“When you return, will it only be to bed me?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Will you turn me away?”

She met his stare, holding it until she sensed his discomfort. “I would never turn you away, Malcolm Graham. Even if I have to wait a year or ten years. I’ll be here, waiting for you to hear me. And some day you
will
hear me. Only then will we be able to decide where we go from here.”

He swallowed hard and hesitated for a very long moment. Then he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow night, Olivia.”

And he left her standing alone and half-naked, with only a flickering ember of hope to keep her warm.

“Your sister has arrived in Bath,” Malcolm said without preamble as he stepped into the doorway to Liam’s office.

Liam kept his eyes on the ledger before him, but there was no doubting his tension when he said, “It has been nearly three days since Violet left. I’m surprised it took Ava this long. I assume she will knock on my door before the afternoon is over.”

“Violet is with her,” Malcolm said, watching his friend carefully.

Liam had said very little about the women who had crushed them both less than half a week before. But he saw the pain around his friend’s eyes as surely as he felt the same around his own heart. The difference was, he knew where Olivia was. Against his better judgment, he could see her whenever he liked.

“Why?” Liam finally asked.

Malcolm shrugged. “My spies do not go so far, Windbury.”

Liam arched a brow. “No? Not even Olivia Cranfield?”

Malcolm jerked in surprise. His visits to Olivia over the past three days had been done quietly and Liam was so lost he hadn’t known his friend was aware. But now Liam nodded before he continued speaking.

“Yes, I had speculated you’ve been seeing her, sneaking out at night to meet with her.”

Malcolm entered the room now and slowly took a place at the desk across from Liam.

“Do you judge that as a betrayal?” he asked softly.

Liam was quiet for a moment, then he shook his head. “I told you myself to go to her, to hear her.”

Mal stiffened. He hadn’t exactly been doing that. He had made love to Olivia, but he always stopped her from telling him her motives in what she’d done. It was unfair and he knew that, even as he did it.

Liam continued, “I believe my misery has extended to everyone else in my life, especially you, for far too long, my friend. If you care for her, if you love her as you told me you did…then love her. Be with her. You have my blessing if you require it.”

Mal tensed. He did care for Olivia. He did love her. And the days since her betrayal hadn’t lessened that feeling. He feared nothing ever would.

And if he was bound to love her for the rest of his life, didn’t he owe it to her to finally let her speak?

“I don’t need your approval, actually, but I appreciate it nonetheless, as well as your graciousness regarding the situation.”

“I suppose I’m making up for lost time in the grace department,” Liam said with a humorless chuckle. “Olivia must have explanations that soothe you, for you were so very angry with her just a few days ago for her part in Violet’s deception.”

Mal nodded. “I was. But I also understand the sacrifices one makes for a friend one loves like a sibling.”

The two men met gazes and Liam nodded, taking his friend’s meaning completely. “You probably understand that better than most, I would wager.”

Mal smiled. He
did
understand that, for he had spent a great many years protecting Liam from himself. But it seemed that time was coming to an end. His friend looked healthier and more equipped to face his past than ever. His lack of resistance to his sister’s arrival proved that.

So it was time for Malcolm to create his own life. And as they continued talking, all he could think about was going to Olivia, not just to take the body she offered, but to truly resolve the barriers that had been erected between them. And he could only hope that they weren’t so high that they were insurmountable.

Chapter Thirteen

Olivia rushed through the streets of Bath, her heart racing. It had only been fifteen minutes since her maid delivered the news, but it felt like every step took an eternity. Finally, she rapped on the familiar door of the townhome the Rothcastles had let for Violet just a few weeks ago and waited with very little patience for a servant to answer.

It was one of the many maids who did so.

“Hello, Miss Olivia,” she said with a welcoming smile.

“I have heard Miss Violet has returned— Is that true?” she asked.

The girl took in her disheveled appearance and her panting breaths and ushered her into the foyer, out of the cutting spring breeze.

“Yes, miss,” the girl said. “They arrived just this morning and—”

“Will you tell her I’m here?”

The servant nodded slowly. “Yes, of course. Will you wait in the parlor?”

Olivia nodded, but instead of doing so, she followed the girl up the stairs and down the hall. The girl began to announce her, but Olivia couldn’t stand it any longer.

She stepped toward the servant and the poor maid moved aside, knowing when she had been beaten, and allowed Olivia to pass into Violet’s chamber.

“Olivia!” her friend cried and the two women embraced as the maid shut the door behind them.

Without speaking, they moved to the window seat and perched there together.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?” Olivia asked.

Violet shook her head. “I didn’t know where you were. When we arrived and we were told you’d left this residence, I didn’t have a thought of where to write. I didn’t dare send a message to Liam’s home, even if you were there.”

Olivia dropped her chin to cover the pain that accompanied that very wrong assumption. “No, I’m not there. I let a smaller place almost as soon as you departed. I didn’t want Malcolm to see me staying here, in case he thought I was still under the direction of the Rothcastles. Of you.”

“Of course,” Violet said with a shake of her head. “And has he decided that is true? Will he see you?”

Olivia nodded. “Yes. He comes to me every night.”

“Excellent!” Violet clapped her hands together. “Then my actions didn’t permanently damage his regard for you. I feared I had destroyed your chance for happiness.”

Olivia cleared her throat and heat flooded her cheeks as she admitted, “He comes to me, but he is changed. I feel him holding back. And when I try to explain myself, when I try to tell him my heart, he only distracts me in the most pleasurable ways. And then leaves me before the night is over.”

It was amazing the relief that accompanied such a humiliating admission. But she hadn’t been able to talk to anyone else about it. Belle was kind, of course, and discreet, but the fact that she was a servant kept a wall between them. With Violet she could be completely truthful.

Of course, at the moment Violet looked very guilty as her smile faded. “He wouldn’t come if he didn’t feel something for you. He is conflicted.”

“Yes, I’m certain that is true. But what side of the conflict he will come out on is another story entirely,” Olivia said, thinking of how passionately and tenderly he had made love to her the past three nights. But also how quickly he had left her, denying her the ability to connect with him on anything but a physical level. It was like they were stuck and couldn’t break free of the lies that had separated them.

Violet caught her hand. “I never meant to catch you up in my difficulties. Not after the true friend you’ve been to me.”

“I was happy to be caught up,” Olivia said with a true smile. “If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have even met Malcolm. And I cannot live with that idea, even if he never comes back to me again.”

And as she said the words, she knew how true they were. She loved him. And she wouldn’t trade that for the world, for it was a beautiful thing.

“I doubt he’ll
never
come back,” Violet reassured her friend.

Olivia felt her strength returning just because she could finally talk about her ordeal. And that strength translated to a new devotion to regaining his love.

“Yes, I intend to simply break him down. Wear him out until he can do nothing
but
love me back.”

Violet laughed, but there was a flicker of darker emotion in her friend.

“Does he tell you anything of Liam?” she asked softly.

Olivia shook her head slowly. “No. That subject is off limits between us, I’m afraid. But the fact that they have remained in Bath, rather than departing to avoid Lord and Lady Rothcastle’s arrival certainly says something, doesn’t it?”

Violet pressed her lips together. “You are right,” she finally said. “Before, Liam would have done anything to escape the confrontation Ava has brought down upon him.”

“So you see,” Olivia said, squeezing her hand in the hopes she could comfort Violet, since she assumed her friend had also been removed from confidantes since her departure, “you saved him.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Violet got to her feet and smoothed her dress, watching out the window toward that long, lonely road that led to Liam’s estate. “And even if I did, he will hate me for it for the rest of his days. The disdain on his face a few days ago told me that better than any words he could ever speak.”

“I’m sorry,” Olivia whispered, and it was true, for she felt exactly what her friend did. “You have been hurt and I wish I could repair your heart.”

“You can’t. That is the way of broken hearts. They only heal with time and distance.” Violet hesitated, and then she added, “I’m leaving.”

Olivia jolted. “Leaving?”

“Yes. I believe there is a stage leaving for Hertford in a short time. I could make arrangements there for transport to Romwell.”

Olivia shook her head in shock. “But what of the duke and duchess? Did they not make some arrangement with you?”

Violet nodded. “They did. But I will break it. They’ll understand, I think. And it isn’t as if I had much to do here at any rate.”

Olivia fully comprehended her friend’s desire to run, but she couldn’t believe she would do it without even attempting to repair the damage between her and the man she so obviously loved.

“Don’t you want to see Liam again?”

Violet stiffened at the inquiry. “Of course I do. I want to see him so much that I ache whenever I think of it. But he doesn’t want to see me. And if I forced that issue, I would only find ruin and deeper heartache. It is time for me to forget this folly. To go to my son and live the simple life I was meant to have.”

“And there is nothing I can say to dissuade you?” Olivia asked, searching her friend’s face.

In a way, Violet was taking the same road out as Malcolm had been trying to do. By avoiding the pain, they each thought they could conquer it.