Beautiful Pain (29 page)

“
Stop teasing me. I only said that because I wanted to see you,” she said, approaching him. There was nothing left between them.

“
So, are you going to stand like that, or are you going to kiss me like a girlfriend should?” he asked.

“
I am not your girlfriend, Harry,” she said, folding her hands together. “How are you feeling today?”

“
I want you to be my girlfriend, Sophia, so please cut this bullshit and come here,” he warned her, narrowing his eyes. She couldn’t resist touching him. Her pulse increased and her heart skipped a beat as she stood in front of him.

“
Harry, I don’t know if we can conti—”

Not letting her finish, he pulled her towards him, sealing his lips over hers. Whatever she wanted to tell him didn’t matter anymore. This kiss was deep and it left her breathless. Her body responded when his hand moved to her stomach and his tongue was in her mouth. All the reservations that Sophia had weren’t relevant because he was holding her close. She understood why she didn’t want Mason.

“
Are you going to be my girlfriend from now on?” he asked pushing her away.

“
Yes,” replied Sophia in a husky whisper.

“
Great, I am going to be discharged tomorrow.”

“
Maybe it’s too soon,” she protested finally, pulling her body into control.

“
I am fine. I am just slightly battered and I have to wear the plaster over my leg for four weeks, but the doctor agreed to let me out as long as I show up here every week for a checkup,” explained Harry.

“
Listen, Harry, I tried to talk to Susan today, I wanted to transfer you to someone else.” She began biting her lip. “She didn’t want to listen.”

“
Don’t worry about it, Susan is a tough cookie. Besides, I don’t want to be with anyone else. I am happy with you.”

Chapter thirty

“
Harry, you know that we are risking my career and your mother’s health. My life is back in London. In a few weeks I am going back,” she muttered, rising. She brushed her hair away from her face and paced around the room. She wanted to avoid this conversation, but for the first time since she saw him again she couldn’t bring herself to tell him that she was going to leave him.

“
Don’t think about the future, Sophia. You never know what is going to happen,” he said and his tense voice brought the chills down her spine. Their conversation was soon interrupted by the doctor who entered, writing something on his pad.

“
Well, Mr. O’Donaghue, I am glad to see that you are in good hands,” he said, smiling. “You are still on strong medications and you might experience dizziness. Someone needs to keep an eye on you for at least two days.”

“
I will be fine. I need to get home to my mother. She has cancer and I don’t like to leave her alone for too long. I am sure that I can look after myself,” Harry said, sounding annoyed.

“
You have a brain concussion so you should be under someone’s supervision. I shouldn’t even let you out this early, but you insisted,” pressed the doctor, looking as if he was going to change his mind about early release.

“
Vanessa is away this weekend so you can stay with me,” blurted out Sophia unexpectedly. She didn’t even know where it came from. Harry couldn’t stay alone. She felt the heat blaze through her face.

“
Great, it’s sorted out then. Just make sure that he rests. Mr. O’Donaghue, if you experience any headaches I want you back here straight away,” said the doctor. Harry nodded and the doctor left the room swiftly. Sophia felt mortified, she was playing her role well, but maybe she’d gone too far.

“
So you are going to look after me?” asked Harry, smiling.

“
My housemate is away in Dublin until Monday and I am sure she wouldn’t mind if you stayed there for at least two days until you get back on your feet.”

“
I don’t mind being nursed by you,” he chuckled.

“
Stop having inappropriate thoughts! I am only taking you to Vanessa’s apartment because you need to get better and you need to promise me that you are going to behave,” she warned him.

“
Come on, I am only joking. I think you should be more worried about bringing a dangerous Irish man like me into your home.”

“
You are not dangerous,” she replied.

“
Yes, you are right I am not. I am looking forward to these two days with you. I will call my cousin; she will keep an eye on my mum.”

“
Maybe I should stay with you at your house?”

“
No, my cousin is off Uni so she probably wouldn’t mind. I want you to myself this weekend, no interruptions.”

She helped him to pack, and later in the afternoon they left the hospital. Sophia didn’t know why she’d even suggested taking care of him this weekend. Her stomach was crawling from her insides when she thought about sleeping arrangements. She was comfortable being with him, but sleeping with him made her worried. She wanted him, but she didn’t want to know what he was going to say when she told him that she was still a virgin.

***

Harry couldn’t believe in his own luck when Sophia came up with the idea of him staying in her housemate’s apartment. He couldn’t wait to have her in his arms. He liked when she was shy and flushed; that meant that she thought about spending a night with him. He couldn’t understand why her parents treated her so harshly. He could barely contain himself when he thought about how she wanted to harm herself. She appeared to be so strong, confident, and unbreakable, but deep down she was lost. Harry knew that he had to be careful; he needed to take small steps. He wanted her to be comfortable with him. She was still tense and nervous around him, but he was going to work on that. He had to show her that he cared about her and it wasn’t just a holiday romance. She was his girl, the one that he dreamed about, the one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He couldn’t see himself in London; he couldn’t leave his mother, but at the same time he couldn’t lose her.

When he was back on his feet he felt much better. He was still battered and weak, but he was determined to enjoy his precious time with Sophia. His ribs were still giving him hell, but he just had to deal with it. Sophia wasn’t happy that he was leaving the hospital so early, but he wanted to be away from people. He had time to think about his revenge and he needed to get back to business. His mother still needed him.

They got to Sophia’s apartment in the taxi.

“
You know after that day when I touched you in the lobby I came back and saw you kissing another guy?” he said, feeling that this memory was already driving him insane.

“
Oh my God, you saw me with Mason?” she asked, looking bewildered.

He nodded, clenching his fists.

“
I hope he isn’t going to be around because I swear to god that I am going to kill him,” he snapped parting his lips with anger.

“
I went out with him a few times trying to distract myself from you, but I told him last night that I am not going to see him again,” she said. Harry exhaled with relief. He was out of his comfort zone. Being with Sophia made him feel peaceful, but he didn’t want to think about her being with someone else.

“
He wants you, Sophia, it doesn’t matter that you ended things with him.” He shrugged.

“
Let’s talk about something else. I finished with Mason so you don’t have to worry. It was a mistake,” she explained then looked at Harry’s face. “Tell me what happened, who did this to you, Harry?”

The smile vanished from his face. He frowned, not looking at her.

“
It doesn’t matter, Sophia. I will take care of it.”

“
Are you kidding me? You aren’t going to take care of anything. You need to press charges and let the police deal with it,” she hissed.

“
Stop worrying about this, Sophia. You don’t just go to the police. I will make sure that the guy will regret what he did to me for the rest of his life.”

“
You are a fool! How do you expect to change if you are already planning revenge?” she muttered, but Harry left the room waving his hand away. Sophia was angry with herself for bringing this up. Harry was stubborn and he wasn’t going to listen to her. In some ways she was glad that the police weren’t involved for now. The report at work was still in her cabinet and she was withholding important information. Her career was looking bleak; she wasn’t sure how long she could keep that away from Susan. If anyone found out that she was having a relationship with him and that she knew what he was doing she would probably go to prison for a very long time. She knocked on the bathroom; he opened the door after a moment.

“
Harry, this is wrong, you need to go to the police,” she pleaded.

“
Sophia, please. I am really not interested in going through courts and then in the end finding out that there isn’t enough evidence to charge those fuckers.”

“
So what are you going to do?”

“
Don’t worry what I am going to do, beautiful. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. We should have dinner instead,” he said touching her palm, which made her forget about whatever she wanted to say. “Let’s order Chinese. I checked your fridge and there is nothing there.”

“
Vanessa isn’t very domesticated and I haven’t gone shopping for days,” she muttered.

“
That’s my girl, but I do want to discuss something else with you.”

Sophia tensed her jaw and looked at him. She knew that this was coming. They hadn’t had a chance to discuss what Sophia revealed to him while he was in a coma. She didn’t want to be uncomfortable around him because he knew.

“
There is nothing to discuss, Harry. I used self-harm as an escape route, then I went through therapy,” she explained.

“
You are stunning and bright, and maybe this will sound daft but I want you to promise me that you will never hurt yourself again.”

His voice was tense and she couldn’t avoid his piercing brown eyes. He was genuinely worried about her. Sophia swallowed hard, losing her confidence. She’d made these sorts of promises a while back.

“
I thought that this was all behind me. After the date with Mason I hurt myself again. I don’t remember what happened, but he touched me and then I had a panic attack. When I came home I used the kitchen knife …” Her voice trailed off, and she pushed the tears away. She wasn’t that sort of person anymore. “Then you saw that cut, it was when we kissed for the first time.”

Harry scowled but he didn’t make a sound. He drew a breath.

“
Do you feel anxious when I touch you?”

“
No, it’s different being around you. I think I finally found the control that I have been looking for. You are like my new therapy,” she whispered, feeling calmer.

“
Then, you are never ever going to hurt yourself again. Do you understand me?” he ordered, holding her hand.

“
I won’t.”

“
If any of those emotions or feelings come back just promise me that you will find me. You don’t need to hurt yourself anymore. I am here, baby.”