Because the Night (The Night Songs Collection) (12 page)

Chapter Twenty Five

Since Blade seemed so unsure about his feelings for me, I figured I really needed a wow outfit for his show this weekend. Normally, I’d make something, but I felt like it was time for a change. A shopping trip was in order.

I’d missed a couple of shifts at the bar with my neck injury. It didn’t seem like a smart idea to spend the night in a room full of vampires with an open wound so visible. So I needed something cheap. And sexy. The only solution was to go to the mall. I hated the mall. Luckily for me, cheap and sexy seemed to be in. Really in. I think there was even a store called Cheap and Sexy. I liked my chances in that one so I stopped in and decided to browse.

I walked right past the displays of black clothes. I wasn’t going to wear anything black, Victorian, velvet, fishnet or of the like. Nothing that would remind Blade of Immortal Dilemma. That narrowed my choices considerably. Several girls perusing those racks in front turned to watch me as I walked by. Was there anyone who didn’t pay attention to Janelle’s website?

There were a few lonely racks of lighter colored clothes towards the dressing rooms. I started to flip through. These clothes were so out of my comfort zone I had no idea what I was even looking for. A sales associate circled me nervously. Finally, I gave in and asked her to pick a few things for me, then followed her to the dressing room to try out her choices.

Most of the dresses I tried brought cheap and sexy to a whole new meaning. Too much skin, too tight, too revealing. I looked like a stripper. Gross.

The last dress seemed softer and prettier even before I took it off the hanger. I slipped it over my head and shimmied it down over my hips. Yikes, it didn’t come down too far on my legs. I adjusted the spaghetti straps as I considered my reflection. The blush color dress made my green eyes pop and looked great against my skin. Form fitting and short, it had lacy ruffles that came down from the neckline in a V, tapering at the waist, and then flaring out to an inverted V in the skirt. It created the illusion of an old fashioned bombshell hourglass figure. I felt like a million bucks. This was the one.

As I left the dressing room with dress in hand, I noticed that some of the girls who had been shopping up front when I entered were now checking the rack I’d shopped off of. They’d be so disappointed if they knew my intentions towards this dress had nothing to do with Tristan.

I held the dress up again for inspection before check out. What was I going to wear with this thing? I did another lap around the store. Thankfully, it seemed to be one stop shopping. A small collection of shoes were on display and my new best friend, the sales girl, suggested a pair of sparkly gold platform heels I was probably going to break my neck in. I slipped my feet out of my china dolls and gave them a try. They were pretty awesome, although completely impractical.

I’d held my breath as she rang everything up. Much to my benefit, the Cheap and Sexy was having a buy one get one half off sale. I would have been really embarrassed if I had to put things back, especially since a handful of people observed my purchase with a little too much interest. I ignored them. Weren’t there enough things to entertain them on the internet without having to report my every move?

Mission accomplished. Headed back home, I felt pretty excited about Saturday night. I hoped it would be a chance to start over. I just had to hope Blade was feeling the same way.

I modeled my outfit for Janelle. My neck was healed now, except for the new pink skin. I felt confident enough to wear my hair back and fastened with a matching flower.

“You look amazing.”

“Am I doing the right thing?”

Janelle thought a minute before she spoke. “I think I understand how you feel about Tristan. I’ve never met him, and even I feel some sort of pull to the band. But I’ve seen a change in you, Callie, since you’ve moved in with me. You hardly make stuff anymore. You sleep all day —“

“I work until dawn!”

“I know. You hardly eat. You’re moping. Tristan isn’t making you happy.”

I flopped down on her bed. “I know. I just keep hoping somehow he will.”

“You haven’t been excited about anything lately except for going to this show. I think Blade is really good for you.”

“He’s amazing.”

“I really want this to work. For both of you.”

“Thanks.” We sat quietly for a few minutes. “Does all this Immortal Dilemma stuff make you happy?”

“It’s business for me now. I make so much money off of merchandise and advertising; it’s not the same as when I started out. I’m happy this is my job. But they’re entertainment for me. If I was trying to make a life with one of them,” she sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Sometimes I just feel like you use me to make money.”

“I won’t lie. I do. Of course I wanted you to move in with me. Do you know how easy you make my job?”

“But your website screwed everything up. This is my life, Janelle. Not just some business.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way.” She looked scared to say anything else. “If you didn’t go to Tristan, I’d have nothing to put on my website. Think about that.”

Chapter Twenty Six

The Shotgun Saloon at Santa Fe Station, where Blade’s band was playing, looked about as far from anything to do with Immortal Dilemma as I could get with its concrete and iron interior, and that was exactly what I needed. I had to do everything right if I was going to keep Blade even speaking to me at this point.

“You like the place?” he asked with a grin. His excitement over playing tonight had seemed to help him forget any worries he had about us. Pushing my own concerns aside, I took the pink drink he handed me and brazenly kissed him, just to take advantage of his good mood, ignoring whispers from around us.

He pulled me back in when I finally let him go, eyes blazing, and smiled. “God, I’ve missed you.” He kissed me again, spilling both of our drinks a little he rocked me back and forth.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. Thanks for bringing me tonight.”

“Thanks for coming and looking like that,” he said with a sweeping hand gesture.

Two and a half hours of primping and poking at myself had paid off. Laughing, I moved back just a little towards the bar stools behind me, grazing some girl with my shoulder.

“Sorry!” I yelped, but she glared at me hard from behind thick eyeliner.

“Slut, watch what you’re doing more and suck face with your wannabe less.” She scowled at me and walked away, with three more girls who looked just like her in tow.

I wished I had imagined the Immortal Dilemma tank top on the last one.

I turned quickly back to Blade, who thankfully was laughing with two other guys next to us at the bar tables. I breathed a sigh of relief that he’d missed that little glitch in the evening.

“And who might you be?” one of the guys said as I caught his eye. He smiled wide with gleaming teeth and held out his hand. “You can’t be here with him,” he joked, elbowing Blade in the ribs.

Blade looked a little embarrassed that he hadn’t introduced me, but it didn’t slow him down. “Callie, this is Johnny and Rich. We used to jam together, but it’s been years!”

“Callie.” The second guy, Rich, mouthed to himself. He seemed to think he recognized me, and he probably did. His black eyeliner was a little to Tristan-like for my comfort.

I smiled, and excused myself to the restroom. Blade kissed me on the cheek, and went back to his friends. I was so glad for Blade right now that I kissed him full on the lips again, determined to let him know it. Johnny whistled low, and I felt my cheeks redden.

Head down, I headed off to the bathroom, hoping not to catch the gaze of a small group of Immortal Dilemma fans that congregated nearby. The name Tristan was on their lips as I passed, and I quickened my steps, breathing harder.
Not now, not tonight ….

I hit the bathroom door a little too hard and felt conversation stop on the other side. I smiled nervously at the women smoking near the sinks. Smoke filled my nostrils and fogged the whole bathroom, but not too much for me to see one of the girls wearing the very same dress I was wearing. And the same shoes. The salesgirl from the store!

You have got to be kidding me.

“I knew it!” she said, with a too-friendly smile.

“Hi,” I mumbled, and closed myself in a stall, eyes shut. When I opened them, the visual I had to match the smell in there was Immortal Dilemma graffiti and stickers all over the door. I rolled my eyes, and tried to just ignore it all as I just stood in there. I needed just a minute to breathe, even this air, and remind myself that this was all for Blade, and me, and not about anything to do with Immortal Dilemma, or Tristan. I was not going to let it be that.

I opened the door knowing that the salesgirl and her friends were still there, but went about my business, washing my hands and hoping I didn’t look too nervous.

“So, it’s true, then? Immortal Dilemma’s playing here tonight, right?”

I pursed my lips and looked the one who had spoken in the eyes. “No. No, they are not. Have you seen the flyers?” I said pointing at one of the lonely flyers on the wall advertising Blade’s show that night. She smiled at me, like we had a secret, and I went back out to the bar.

On the way there, I couldn’t help but wonder how many of the people in this rather excessive crowd thought they were catching an impromptu Immortal Dilemma show. How many of these girls were here for Tristan?

How much did I have to do with that?

“Is there anywhere we can be a little more private for a minute?” I asked Blade over the loud music when I got back to him and the small crowd that he had amassed. He smiled knowingly at me and nodded.

I followed him up a flight of winding stairs near the back of the club, where things were the sparse crowd made things much quieter. My mouth felt like sandpaper. Had Blade noticed how many in this crowd were wearing a little too much leather, black eyeliner, and other Immortal Dilemma garb?

He quickly turned on the staircase, and I gasped with surprise as he caught me up in his arms, bending me backwards over the railing. He kissed me with such intensity that I forgot where we were, or that anyone else even existed but him and me. When he let me go, it took me a minute to open my eyes. I could feel my dumbstruck smile.

“Did I thank you for coming tonight?” he whispered in my ear.

“You could always thank me more.” I teased.

He pulled me up the remaining stairs by the hand to a small balcony, big enough for just three or four people, though nobody else was up there. Blade kissed me again, bending my back over the railing. I laughed against his lips.

“You’ll have a great view up here,” he said, pressing against me and turning my body so I could look down upon the stage. I could clearly hear the music and see the stage without the entire crowd around me.

And nobody could see me.

The look in Blade’s eyes was the same one he had had at the first party I had met him at — energetic, eager, sweet, friendly. It almost made me sad. I didn’t want to let him go and play. I just wanted to hide up here from the world forever.

I ran my hand down the side of his stubbly cheek. “It’s time for you to go on stage,”

“I’ll be back,” he said in his best Schwarzenegger, and left me alone.

I breathed slowly as I scanned the crowd below, a mass of adrenaline waves washing over them all. It unsettled me.

Before long, the lights went down. The crowd stilled eerily in the blackness below, all heads turned toward the stage. A single spotlight lit up the microphone, and a wild amount of noise erupted from the hordes of people pushing themselves toward the stage.

Too much noise for this band that didn’t really exist.

Then the chanting became one crisp, clean word, shouted at the stage as if the crowd was one person.

“
TRISTAN! TRISTAN! TRISTAN!”

When the lights flashed on and the stage was visible, the crowd hushed as one, also. Murmurs erupted, became shouts, became crashing bottles, and interspersed with gasps of “That’s not Immortal Dilemma!”

All I could see were Blade’s eyes, staring back at me in the balcony, swallowed by anger and disappointment.

Blade’s eyes seared through me when he came off stage. I actually had to step into his path to intercept him. All the playfulness was gone, replaced by anger and hardness. I could feel the humidity coming off of his body after playing drums for an hour, in such contrast to Tristan’s calm, cool demeanor at all times.

“I’m sorry,” I mouthed, since the noise was still deafening in the club. I reached for him, but he side stepped me.

“I can’t talk about this right now,” His mouth was an angry line. “This is bigger than you, Callie.”

And with that he breezed past me, going God knows where, leaving me to cry alone.

I finally regained my composure. I pulled myself up on a high stool that overlooked the main floor of the club and waited for Blade to reappear. I couldn’t imagine what kept him. He wouldn’t answer my texts. Great. I swirled my straw around what was left of the melted ice in my glass, still tinged pink from the drink.

“Excuse me,” a girl in a black babydoll dress approached me nervously, with her pack of friends behind her, hanging on her every word. “Do you know what time Immortal Dilemma is going on?”

“They’re not,” I snapped.

“Oh.” I would have thought that would have been enough to send her on her way, but once again, I was wrong.

“We just figured since we saw you here, they’d be playing tonight.”

“Well, you figured wrong.” I needed air. Where was Blade? “Excuse me.” I slid down from the stool and headed out of the club, ignoring the pointing and the whispering that was just never going to stop.

I pulled on my jean jacket as I walked out the front door of the casino. It seemed like a million years ago that we’d parked the car, and in the sea of automobiles that was the parking lot, I had to think about where I was going. These shoes weren’t helping my cause, either. My feet throbbed and I had no idea where the hell I was going to find Blade or his mustang.

Fairly confident I’d retraced my steps correctly, there was no sign of his car anywhere. I started to panic. Did someone steal Molly? Blade was going to lose his mind even more than he already had if that was the case. I needed to find him. I hurried back into the club.

“Where’s Blade?” I found Johnny, or Rich, or whichever one it was.

He shrugged. “Gone, as far as I know.”

“What?”

“Haven’t seen him.” He started to come in a little too close, ogling me with his beer goggles.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Calm down, baby, it’s alright.” He reached out to put his hand on my arm.

“It’s not! I have to find him!” I spun away and continued to comb the crowd.

A half an hour later, I gave up. The crowd had thinned; disappointed that Immortal Dilemma was clearly not going to play. I leaned up against a pillar, defeated. Blade hadn’t answered any of my phone calls or my texts. I had no choice but to swallow my pride and call Janelle to come to my rescue.