Before Him Comes Me (25 page)

“Zara, school your face again. Very, very good. Now,
remember that expression. Remember how it feels and where your eyes and mouth
are. That is the same expression that I want you to go to every time I tell you
to school your expression. It will be a game between you and me.”

Zara placed her hands on her face and felt her eyelids and
lips to memorize their placement.

“Smell that?”

She nodded again and her mother’s look indicated her daughter’s
nod was not a proper response.

“Yes, Ma’am. It smells like cake!”

Her mother stood and put on the oven mitts that were always
hanging from the side of the oven. “It smells like love.”

The cake pan was placed on top of the stove. “Shall we test
it and make sure it is done baking?”

Zara got up from her chair and moved closer to the warm
stove. She watched her mother pick up two toothpicks and hand them to her.

“School your face.” Looking up at her mother, she took a
deep breath and set her expression. Her hand touched her lips to ensure they
were in the right place.

“Take the toothpick and push it into the center of the cake.
Then pull it straight out. If the cake is finished, the toothpick will be
clean. If it comes out with cake on it, back in the oven it goes. Remember,
school your face, Zara.”

Taking another breath, Zara extended her hand over the cake
and carefully placed the toothpick all the way into the center. Before pulling
out the toothpick, she looked at the cake to memorize its golden appearance
into her mind. Then she pulled out the toothpick and looked to see if it was
clean. Handing it to her mother, she softly said, “Mother, the cake is done.”

Zara returned to the chair at the table and touched her face
again. She placed her hands in her lap and looked straight ahead.

“I am so proud of you. That was remarkable. You did not
change from your schooled face one time.” Her mother placed her hand on her
shoulder.

Zara smiled. She looked up at her mother and felt a warmth
cascade through her because she had pleased her. “Now, shall we practice some
more while the cake cools?”

Careful to not show any emotion, Zara whispered, “Yes,
please.”

Sitting down again, her mother began to tell her a story
about a beautiful young lady who was married to a handsome kind man.

“One day your father will locate the perfect man for you. He
will be your match in every way.”

Zara watched her mother’s lips as she spoke but kept the
picture of the cake in her head.

“On your eighteenth birthday I will help you get into the
most beautiful dress and your father will walk you down the aisle to a special
circle. Once you are in the circle you will be presented to your Dom.”

Zara knew the minute her facial expressions changed. She
squirmed in her chair and moved closer to the table.

“School your face again, Zara Faith.” Taking a deep breath
and sitting up straight, she worked to push the jumbled thoughts in her head
away and return to the mental cake picture. The edges were darker than the
middle. The crispy edge pulled away a little bit from the sides of the pan. The
yellow cake had turned a warm golden color.

Slowly, she brought her hands to her mouth and gently ran her
fingers over her eyelids. She turned her head to look at her mother. There was
no sign of what her mother was thinking and at that moment, she realized that
this was her mother’s schooled expression. It was the face that looked down at
her when she did schoolwork, when she sat at the table eating dinner and even
when she was being tucked into bed.

Her fingertips returned to her lips and then her hands came
to rest in her lap. Her face was schooled.

“Very well done. You are very good at this, Zara. You may
stop now.”

Zara felt her entire body sag. The cake picture vanished and
she was left thinking about what her mother had told her and the fact that her mother’s
face was always being schooled.

Feeling her mother looking at her, Zara turned in her chair
to face her. A big smile exploded over her mother’s face and she reached over
to give her a big hug. “I am so proud of you, my Zara Faith.”

“Mother, what if I don’t have a Dom?” Her mother shook her
head at her daughter. “Sorry, what if I do not have a Dom?”

Placing her hands in her lap, Zara’s mother looked in her daughter’s
eyes and smiled broadly, “Zara, you will have a Dom. Your father will search
all the land for the perfect match for his little girl.”

Without thinking, Zara asked, “What if I do not want a Dom?”

Her mother’s beautiful smile slipped. She stood and went to
the refrigerator and retrieved a pitcher full of lemonade. Setting it on the
table in front of Zara, she then pulled two cups from the cabinet and poured
them both a half a cup of Zara’s favorite lemonade.

With a serious expression, her mother spoke in a low but
clear voice, “Having a Dom is the best part of life. Did you know when I was a
young lady my father found your father especially for me?” Zara placed her cup
back on the table and whispered a soft no.

“I lived in the state of Michigan. When I was little we
would get snow all the way up to here.” Zara’s eyes got big when her mother
held her hand over both of their heads. “Oh yes. The snow would get so bad that
my father could not get our mail and would have to dig out his car.

“On my 18th birthday, my mother helped me put on a beautiful
white dress and I walked to the center of the Circle. That is where I met your
father for the very first time. And you know what?” Zara sat and hung on every
word her mother was saying.

“No, Ma’am.”

Her mother smoothed Zara’s hair behind her ears and leaned
in close. “Your father was so handsome. I was very excited to become his. From
the moment I saw him, I knew I was meant to be with him. That will happen to
you too.

“Your Dom will take care of you and protect you, and you
will care for him. A partnership is formed in the Circle. Your life will begin
when you meet your Dom.”

Zara looked down at her mother’s hands resting in her lap;
her long slender fingers grasped the sparkly ring on her left ring finger.

Her mother began to whisper and Zara looked at her lips as
she spoke. “Do you know the very best part of walking into the Circle and
getting a Dom? You and Fredrik.”

Beaming at her mother’s words, Zara wrapped her arms around
her mother’s neck and received a tight squeeze.

Looking at Fredrik, Zara can see that the little boy who had
eaten that cake had grown up. Though she had only been away at school for a few
months, her younger brother had become a man in her absence. It would not be
long before Fredrik was stepping into the Circle to collar his own submissive. Sitting
there holding his hand, Zara wonders what her brother wants out of life.

Hearing her father say her name, Zara jumps. She has no idea
what her father has said or when he had walked up to stand next to her mother’s
casket. She stares at the casket holding her mother’s body and still none of
the words being spoken make it through to Zara.

Garrett stands. He patiently waits as the siblings embrace. As
Zara begins to stand, Garrett takes her hand.

Fredrik says in a hushed voice only his sister can hear, “Did
you get the stones I sent you?”

Zara falters at his words causing Garrett to catch her by
the arm. Feeling numb and confused, Zara lets Garrett lead her down the aisle
and away from her mother.

“I am planning to stay here for a while longer. I know. I
miss you too. Just for a bit longer. El, I am okay. I promise. Tell Liliana I
miss her, too. Okay, bye.”

Setting her cell phone on the counter, Zara finishes
chopping the veggies for the salad. Chicken and potatoes are in the oven, the table
is set, and Zara checks the rest of the items off in her mind. Music… dashing
into the den, Zara turns on the Peaceful Piano playlist on Spotify. It is one
of her favorite Christmas gifts and she uses it daily. Setting the music to
play throughout the house, Zara returns to the kitchen to finish dinner.

Entering the kitchen, Zara stops in her tracks. She steps
closer to the counter and sees a napkin. Allowing her head to fall all the way
back and exhaling, Zara feels her shoulders drop.

Zar, now you are seeing things. Really? A recipe card? Mother
would be very disappointed if a card was needed for roast chicken and potatoes.
Two weeks since I’ve been in that house and now I’m seeing recipe cards that
don’t exist.

Zara pulls the chicken and potatoes out of the oven when she
hears Garrett’s car in the driveway. Sitting down, Zara waits patiently. The
smile that spreads across his face when he sees her takes her breath away. She
exhales. Her nerves had gotten to her in her time alone during the day.

“I am pleasantly surprised to see you, Little One. I thought
when I dropped you off at school this morning you were staying on campus
tonight.”

“Is this okay?”

“Is it okay… that you come to the house where you have a
room and make dinner? Yes, Zara Faith, it is okay.” Walking to where Zara is
sitting, Garrett extends his hands and helps her to her feet. Taking her in his
arms, he talks into her hair, “I was not looking forward to coming home tonight
to this empty house. I missed you today.”

“May I stay?”

“Yes. Smells delicious.” Released, Zara slips into her seat.
Garrett walks out of the dining room while Zara begins serving the meal she
prepared. As if they had rehearsed their timing, he returns and grabs the
chilled wine just as the last plate is placed with the evening’s offerings.

“This looks amazing. Thank you. How were your classes today?”
Garrett asks as he takes his first bite of chicken.

“Good. They will be a lot more challenging than last
semester. Biology, Calculus, and Chemistry will be hard. I think I am going to
enjoy my writing class. The professor seems very friendly.”

Shaking his head, Garrett takes a sip of wine, “This is not
how I envisioned you exploring your first year of college. I was completely
worried about you spending all your weekend nights at frat parties and dating a
different guy every weekend. Instead, you are here making me dinner, taking the
heaviest class load in freshman history.”

“I tried all of that. It did not hold a candle to the
amazing John Garrett Dawson. There is no place I would rather be tonight than
right here with you.”

“Do you have a lot of studying to do?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I have a shit ton of work to do for a new client and
I would find it difficult to ignore you the entire night.” Winking at Zara,
Garrett smirked at her broad smile.

“You are in luck. We get to ignore each other in the same
room.”

Garrett and Zara finish dinner in a comfortable peace
enjoying the soft piano dancing out of the speakers. After the dishes are
cleaned and put away, the two change into comfy clothes and take up residence
in the den. Garrett sits at his desk and Zara camps out on the sofa. They work
in silence, but for Zara, just being in the same space as Garrett makes it well
worth studying at his house.

Weeks earlier Garrett had established a new tradition by bringing
Zara a special snack during their work sessions. He had walked out of the room,
returned and passed Zara a small bag and returned to his seat without a word.

Zara emitted a squeal of glee when she opened the bag and
examined the contents finding blow-pops and sweet-tarts. The next day, Zara had
surprised Garrett with a mix of caramel, cheese and butter popcorn. On the
third day, they each had a bag for each other and each day after it turned into
a contest.

There is no doubt in Zara’s mind that she is taking tonight’s
treat competition award. Pulling chocolate chip cookie balls from their hiding
place in the back of the freezer, she quickly bakes them.

Pouring milk into pre-frosted glasses and arranging the
fresh homemade-out-of-the-oven cookies on the platter, Zara heads into the den
to claim her victory. Walking directly to Garrett’s desk, she carefully sets
the platter down so it does not touch any of his documents.

      “Milk and cookies?” she drawls in the sexiest voice she
could muster without busting into laughter.

“You made cookies?” Garrett picks one up and examines both
sides. Biting into it, he lets out a moan.

“I did,” Zara says giggling.

“You know you win tonight.”

“Yep.”

“Thank you. These are great. I hope you made extra. I am
totally taking some tomorrow to eat in front of Branden.”

He reaches for the milk and takes a long drink. “You chilled
the milk, too.”

Zara laughs and nods.

“How much more work do you have?”

“Garrett, I am a student. Forever. What do you have in mind?”

“Let’s take a drive.”

“You want to take a drive tonight?”

“Yes. Bring cookies.”

“Are we going over to eat cookies in front of Branden
tonight?” Zara asks suspiciously.

“Or maybe we just are taking a drive with the best chocolate
chip cookies I ever tasted.”

“We are so going over to Branden’s,” Zara laughs. “I need to
change first.”

“What? You look adorable. Don’t change. Let’s go.”

Routine takes hold in short order. They enjoy breakfast
together, Garrett drops Zara off on campus, and then Zara finds her way back to
his house to prepare dinner. It becomes their new norm. Weekends are spent
working and studying with breaks taken for a movie or dinner.

It is Friday, which means there would be a date after a long
day on campus. Feeling the need to step out of her normal college wear, Zara takes
extra care getting ready in the morning.

Smiling, she slips into one of her new matching bra and
panties sets and picks out a pair of dark skinny jeans. Zara decides on a
fitted fuzzy red sweater to complete the outfit and considers what to put on
her feet. Spying the red-soled shoes she had been wanting to wear for a while, a
wicked smirk comes over Zara’s face.

Not yet. Soon.

Laughing at herself, she walks toward the kitchen in a
different pair of 4-inch heels. As their routine dictates, Garrett would be in
the kitchen preparing the coffee. Stopping in front of the window, Zara marvels
at how spring had burst through winter and is taking hold. The seasons are one
of Zara’s favorite things about Michigan and she is already looking forward to
the color tour Garrett has promised to take her on next autumn.

Hearing a loud whistle, Zara spins around to find Garrett
checking her out. She slowly does a 360 to give him a complete view of her
Friday outfit, and then runs across the living room to leap into his arms.

“Fuck Zara… you can run in those things.” He shakes his head
in amazement.

“Requirement. Mother would have it no other way. If I was to
wear heels, I had to be able to really wear them.”

“Sorry,” Garrett says ruefully, planting a quick kiss on her
puckered lips.

“It is becoming easier. I want to remember. She was amazing.”

“Yes, she was, Zara.”

Zara turns at hearing voices coming from the kitchen. Garrett
slowly puts her down, but holds on to her to provide support.

“Mrs. Dawson… Mr. Dawson. I am so sorry. I did not realize
you were here. Please forgive my rudeness this morning. I… I really.” Walking
around the island, Charlotte approaches Zara.

“Zara Faith, no apologies necessary. I thought we agreed
that you would be calling me Charlotte. You remember Warren.” Pulling Zara in
for a quick hug, she holds her back to look her over. “You look positively
radiant. Love does do that for some women.”

Zara stands looking at Garrett’s mother unable to come up
with anything intelligent to say. A woman in love, she muses before being snapped
out of her thoughts by Mr. Dawson’s bear hug. She hugs him back with wonder
that this was only the second time she could recall being hugged by a father
figure.

“Zara, you do look lovely. I must say, I think Michigan
agrees with you. How are you liking MSU?” Mr. Dawson asks.

“I am enjoying MSU very much, although my classes are far more
challenging this semester. As for Michigan, now that spring has finally arrived,
I am again a fan. Winter got to be a bit long and frigid.”

Mr. Dawson lets out a booming laugh as he makes his way back
around the island. “You have successfully summed up the brutality of our winter
season. It is why God gave Michigan four of them.”

As Garrett wraps his arms around Zara and guides her toward
the kitchen island, her body becomes stiff as a board. She did not know how his
parents would react to their contact.

“Relax, they are extremely happy for us,” Garrett whispers
in Zara’s ear to prevent his parents from hearing.

With a slight nod, Zara pushes herself away from his embrace
and walks to the refrigerator. “Is anyone hungry? I can make breakfast. Pancakes?
Omelets? Anything?”

Zara looks as deeply into the fridge as possible to take a
few seconds to gather herself. The presence of Garrett’s parents has caught her
completely off guard.

“Zara Faith, come and sit with us for a moment, please,”
Charlotte requests.

Closing the door to the refrigerator, Zara follows everyone
to the dining table and takes a seat next to Garrett. Mr. Dawson sits in the
seat directly across from her while Charlotte occupies the head of the table in
the seat to the right of Zara.

“Zara, we are very sorry to show up this morning without
warning. It is habit for us to pop in on Garrett, but we should have given the
both of you a bit of notice. The very last thing we want to do is make you
nervous in your home. We are very sorry.”

“But this… this is not my…”

Garrett reaches for Zara’s hand and squeezes. Giving her a
smile, he looks at his mother. “Mom, I think what Zara is trying to say is that
she is living in the dorm. Well, she is sort of living in the dorm.”

He turns in the chair to face Zara. “Little One, you are
living here. You have not spent a night in the dorm in weeks. We should move
the rest of your stuff. If you want. I do not want to rush you.”

“Live here with you? Permanently? Yes!”

Garrett reaches for Zara’s face and draws it to him. Looking
closely, he stares into her eyes for a moment. Zara has a hint of moisture
building in the corners. “I love you, Little One.”

“I love you too, Garrett,” Zara whispers.

*****

Zara steps out of Garrett’s car in front of the dorm. It feels
different. She feels different. Rewarded with a quick kiss and hug from Garrett,
Zara strolls to the entrance of Yakeley. She does not need to look back to know
that he is still standing there watching her. Zara can feel his eyes on her and
it feels amazing.

Walking up the steps, Zara pauses to say a quick hello to Sara.
The ‘you’re never around’ comment she is hearing more frequently follows. With a
quick hug and promise to catch up soon, they both head off to embark on their
own day’s adventure.

Standing inside the door of her first home after leaving her
parents, Zara looks around and takes everything in. Nothing has changed. The
furniture is still in the same position, music is still playing while a group
of girls in the corner laugh, and Beth is still seated behind the desk looking
like she would like to be anywhere else.

The surroundings are the same. Zara is changing. Walking
toward the hallway to her room, Zara nods at Beth who returns it with a smirk.

Each of the girls Zara sees on the way to her room say hey
and rave about how great she looks. “What’s different about you?” “You look HOT?”
“OMG… GIRL!!”

Smiling, Zara thanks them, but keeps moving.

Zara had picked this time of day to come to her room, knowing
that both Liliana and Ella would be in class. It is not that she wants to avoid
them exactly… well maybe that is exactly what she is trying to do. Zara closes
her door and surveys her surroundings. Such a short time ago, she had spent her
very first night alone in this room.

That had been such a confusing time. Leaving the Circle without
a collar and having the opportunity to attend college is more than Zara had
ever allowed herself to hope for. The fact it had come true was exciting, yet
terrifying. Losing her family and best friend was not something that she could
have been prepared for.

Waking up at the beach house and being able to spend some
quality time with Garrett before being dropped off at school was a gift. Although,
at the time she did not know how he felt about her, Zara had never felt
abandoned. Garrett was always a call away and he made sure that she had
everything she needed.

“So much has changed,” Zara repeats to herself. Realizing
that Garrett is outside waiting, she jumps into gear. Moving as if on a
mission, she grabs a couple of the books needed for upcoming assignments and a
handful of pictures.

She jots a quick note to Liliana and Ella telling them that
she is sorry that she missed them and that they should do dinner next week. She
locks the door to her dorm room and slides the note under their door. Making
her way back down the hallway, she is out of the dorm in less than fifteen
minutes.

Garrett is standing in the same spot she left him. A broad
smile appears on his face when he sees her standing on the steps. In that
second, Zara knows she is more than ready to make this a permanent move. Life
is about changes, big and small. Today is one of those big change days.