Before I Break (15 page)

Dear Avery Branson,

Your novel, Falling Stars, has an incredibly interesting storyline. After my request for the first ten pages, I knew right away what I was going to do. Reading the ten pages in one sitting, I knew this was the story I wanted to take on.

I would like to meet with you personally whenever you get the chance. I will be in Boston the last week of December and I am excited to see you then. Please bring a copy of your manuscript so we can discuss the next steps to take and to see if we are a good match.

-Angela Brown

“Oh my God!” I said, feeling overwhelmed for him. “This is great news!”

Avery smiled, lighting up the room. “That’s partially why I’m making this trip. She knew I would be in Massachusetts during break, and so she offered to meet me! My book is on its way to publication!”

It made me feel good, for the first time in a while, that Avery had gotten this acceptance letter from the agent. I hoped that things would work out for him, and what he said next surprised me even more.

“I want you to come to Massachusetts with Melissa and me.”

Shock grew across my face at that moment. “W-what?”

“I’m inviting you to come with us,” Avery said in all seriousness. “As soon as I got the email, I’ve wanted to invite you but just didn’t know what to say.”

I wanted to say yes, I really did, but one thing registered just then. “I thought you said you wanted to tell me first.”

“Melissa doesn’t know,” Avery went on. “I was waiting until I told you, and if you said yes, I was going to tell her with you, and we could all go together.” He got out of his chair, throwing his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll give you some time to think about it, though. Text me whenever you make up your mind.”

He walked off, but before he left, he turned around. “By the way,” he added, “You’ve been unblocked on Facebook for about a month. Just thought you should know.”

Anyone who thinks I wasn’t going to go must not understand me well enough by now. That night I had gone home and asked my mother if I could go. Dad was out, as usual, doing one thing or another, leaving all the big decisions to my mom—not that I minded, because if I asked my dad, I already know what his answer would have been.

“Are you sure you want to?” Mom asked. We were standing in the kitchen as she made dinner, and she looked completely exhausted. “Avery and you haven’t spoken in months and now he all of a sudden wants you to come?”

“He changed his mind,” I replied. “Please Mom, this is big for him, and being his first friend he made, he really wants me there. I want to be there for him in case it doesn’t work out well.” While that was partially true, the other part consisted of my actually just wanting to be there with him.

Mom sighed and looked at me intensely. “Fine, I’ll let you go. But you have to promise me that we can celebrate Christmas when you get back.”

A smile from my mother made me light up inside, and I hugged her so tightly I would bet that she couldn’t breathe for a couple seconds. “Thank you so much! I promise we’ll celebrate when I get back.”

She hugged me tightly as well and said, “You’re welcome, honey. I want Avery to be happy, but more importantly I want you happy. If this is something you want to do, then I’m proud of you.”

That was the last happy moment I had with my mother for a long time.

The rest of the week I was so focused on school, my head felt like it was about to explode by the time the weekend came around. I had packed my bags Thursday night and was ready to leave Saturday morning when it was time to go to Avery’s house.

Come to find out, his mother had already purchased me a ticket to go with them, so basically I just had to pay for my food, which I could do since I had a summer job at Bi-Lo—not that it was much money, but it helped.

I said goodbye to my mother that morning, but she seemed kind of down, and I figured she’d be happy once I got back. So I got in my car and drove to Avery’s house, ready for an amazing Winter Break with my friend and my girlfriend. On my way to his house, my phone rang as a text came through, but I ignored it because I was driving.

When I got to his house, I had forgotten about the text and went to knock on the front door. As expected, Tina opened up, smiling happily when she saw me.

“Cyril! Nice to see you,” she said, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. “Come in, come in. We’re almost ready to go. Melissa said she’d be here shortly.”

“Thank you,” I replied, walking inside to find Avery all ready to go. He was sitting on the couch, looking excited—probably more than I was. Remembering what the email said, we wouldn’t meet Angela until about the last week of December, so he shouldn’t get his hopes too high just yet. I didn’t tell him that, because I didn’t want to ruin his mood.

I took a seat beside him, smiling at him. “Are you excited?”

“I sure am,” he replied quickly, as I expected. “Are you happy to see my Aunts again?”

Come to find out the family we were visiting were his two aunts, whom I actually liked very much. Hopefully they didn’t hate me from months ago. “I am. They seemed really nice. Are they a big support system for you?”

Avery nodded. “When I came out, they were the first ones I told. My parents weren’t too happy about me being gay at first, but they got over it.”

“Now that’s not true,” Tina interjected. “We were just surprised is all.” The look on her face said otherwise.

“Yeah, right,” Avery said sarcastically. “Because telling me I’m going to hell is just being surprised.” He ignored her and turned to me. “Anyway, they’ve been there for me through it all. Shockingly enough, they thought you were my boyfriend.”

The word
boyfriend
panged against my skull, and I said, “Really? That’s…interesting.” In all honesty, I couldn’t tell whether that was a compliment or not. I had mixed feelings about Avery, but that didn’t mean I wanted him like that. Friendships didn’t always turn into relationships. If they did, that meant I would have dated Jake at some point in like, and that thought made me throw up in my mouth a little.

“I told them we were just friends,” Avery went on, biting his nails. “I’m not sure they believed me, so please, clarify that for them when we get there. We’re just friends.” There was something about the way that he said that, something that made me wonder what he was really thinking at that moment. Whatever it was seemed to be bugging him.

“I will.” Even though I said it, I wasn’t so sure. Did I like Avery? I was sexually attracted to girls, but being friends with him was making me soft…a little too soft, to the point where I was questioning my own sexuality.

No, I told myself. I was straight. Just because I was friends with a gay guy didn’t make me gay. Did it?

Falling stars from the sky

Come dropping down to Earth,

Lighting the night

And giving us a view.

A view of our dreams

And our souls that we burn,

Giving us life

In a way that none else could.

These falling stars are our light

Our vision of the future,

A window to our thoughts

And light the way for us to finally see the truth.

We boarded the plane at 12:24 that afternoon, me by the window, Melissa in the middle, and Avery on the outside by the aisle. When the plane took off, my stomach practically exploded from the pressure, making me feel sick. Melissa took a hold of my hand, smiling at me sympathetically. From the second she walked into Avery’s house, I noticed something seemingly different about her, and as curious as I was, I realized that now was not the time. If something was bothering her, she surely wasn’t going to talk about it now, not on our way to spend the next two weeks in Boston.

Originally we were all going to stay at his Aunt’s house, but come to find out they had an empty guesthouse right in their backyard. They sent Avery some pictures earlier that morning, telling him we were all going to stay back there—kind of like a hotel suite, but closer to home. It sounded exciting, being all alone in our own guesthouse. This was going to be a really fun break, I was sure of it.

We flew for about an hour, and then had a twenty minute layover in D.C. By the time we arrived in Boston it was 4:30 in the afternoon, and as expected, his two aunts were waiting for us when we got off the plane. His Aunt Denise smiled at us and gave each of us a hug.

“I’m so glad you could come,” she said, hugging me tightly.

“I’m glad I could come, too,” I replied, feeling the honesty pour from my mouth. “It’s nice to see you again.” Especially considering the last time I had seen her she was listening to Avery yell at me for telling his personal business.

“I’m glad to see you too, sweetie.” Denise stepped aside and Susan came forward, giving me a hug as well, less affectionately. I assumed she was the dominant one by her persona.

We followed them out to their car, a large SVU that we all squeezed into with little effort. Their foster children were spending their Winter Break at a ski resort for a trip for their school, giving us all the opportunity to bond. The longer I was friends with Avery, I felt like I was really becoming a part of his life—and I was very grateful he forgave me enough to ask me to come on this trip with him.

“Ain’t It Fun” played on the radio as we drove to the house and everyone seemed to be in an amazing mood, even me, who was happy for the first time in months. I was with my friends now, and while Jake was good company sometimes, I felt as if we weren’t as close anymore. Not now that I’d met Avery.

Speaking of Jake—I pulled out my phone for the first time in hours and saw that the text had come from him.