Behind Our Walls (24 page)

Fiona looked around the crowd, at the faces leering in at her as if to see if there was any hope of anyone changing their mind. There was some hesitation, but mostly the rage was still there, albeit more concealed than before. Sophie wondered why she wasn't even trying to defend herself but it occurred to her that there wasn't really anything she could say that would put her in the right.

"What do you suggest then?" another voice called out. "She just gets away with it? There has to be some kind of punishment."

The cries from the crowd rose up again, echoing off the walls around them. Sophie heard death in those voices as the volume rose to a frantic level. She was surprised that no one in the crowd was frothing at the mouth as they shook their fists in the air, looming in closer over Fiona, who sat there stolidly. Sophie knew she had to put an end to this.

"I'll do it."

She stepped forward, and took Lot's Ruger from him. The air rushed out of the room and she saw people nodding, as if this was what they had been waiting for, the entire time. She certainly saw it in Fiona's eyes as she stood and smirked at Sophie, as if she had seen this coming. Sophie looked into that sarcastic grin and felt the death of every single person who had fallen here.

And Fiona wasn't even trying to change their minds.

Sophie drew back and punched her, just below the eye.

The crowd cheered as Fiona toppled back over the bench. She spit out onto the ground and looked up at Sophie with what she probably thought was defiance.

Sophie reached down and hauled her to her feet. The crowd parted for them and a silence fell on the mob as they passed through. Somehow in the faces there, she saw both fear and admiration at the same time. She made her way towards the stairs, dragging Fiona along as they left the food court, buffeted on the wind of the crowd's encouragement.

-56-

Sophie dragged Fiona down the stairs and clicked on her flashlight. As the door closed behind them, all they could hear was the sound of each other's breathing, Fiona sounding more ragged and labored as she staggered along.

Fiona had yet to say a single word to her. Sophie couldn't understand why she wasn't even trying to talk her out of what she must see coming. Maybe this was her attempt to garner sympathy, put up a front that she accepted her punishment. Or maybe she just didn't want to give Sophie any more reason to go through with it.

They turned to walk into the garage. Sophie pressed the barrel of the gun into Fiona's neck and shoved her forward.

"Get on your knees," she said. Fiona stood there, stubbornly at first until she cracked her across the shoulder with the gun. She let out a grunt of pain before dropping to the floor.

"You know you have this coming. You betrayed
all
of us. How many people are dead because of what you did? You might as well have pulled the trigger yourself."

"You are such an idiotic bitch," Fiona finally said. "This was all your fault. You brought it on yourselves because you always had to have more."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you think she wanted to die? Do you think she deserved what happened? Just so that your fucking lives could be a little bit more comfortable?"

"Fiona, I don't understand what you're—"

"NAIRI DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Sophie actually took a step back from the venom and spite in her voice. "Fiona—"

"No! She got herself killed which
only
happened because she left to run one of your idiotic errands. We were perfectly fine in here. Her blood is on you, Sophie."

"So you thought that made it okay to bring men in here with guns?"

"I was just trying to buy my way out of here. They caught me and I tried to get them to go easy on everyone, it isn't my fault that he lied to me."

"Not your fault? What were you expecting? Really, tell me what you thought was going to happen. Did you really think they were the kind of people you could trust to keep their word?"

Fiona didn't answer, not that Sophie particularly cared what she would have had to say anyway. "I tried so hard to defend you. You have no idea how often people came to me, bitching about something you did and I always stuck up for you. This is how you thank me? You try to get everyone killed?"

"I told you. I wasn't trying to—"

"I don't give a damn what you were
trying
to do. There is no way you actually thought you were doing any of this for us. You were looking out for yourself. All this time you've been here, you've only ever thought about yourself."

Again, cold silence.

"Fiona, what do you expect me to do right now? What do you think I can do? What do you think the people up there are expecting? Tell me what you want me to do. Give me something other than this zombie act!"

Still no answer. Fiona's eyes looked like the life was already draining out of them. She looked like someone who had made peace with what was about to happen. It just seemed too easy.

"Fiona, please say something. I understand why you're angry, but you can't have wanted this. Give me
something
." She was shocked that she was the one pleading with Fiona, instead of the other way around. But Fiona just dropped her gaze even more, either unwilling to answer, or simply not having one that would make sense.

Was this really what she had become? The hammer that brought swift justice down on whoever needed it?

Still, people were dead. Fiona had been directly responsible for everything. Sophie prodded her through the garage door, blinking at the light as they passed through. She walked back to Fiona and reached down for her arm.

"Walk."

They walked out, past the shadow of the stadium and stopped. She put a hand on Fiona's shoulder, pushing down until she took the hint and got down on her knees. She stepped behind her and raised the gun, hesitating as the memory rushed back of Jerry, the blood and his body dropping to the ground, not that differently from Rowan.

There had to be some kind of punishment. Something had to be done. No one was ever going to trust Fiona again and if they left her alone to continue living here, it would only be a matter of time before someone took it upon themselves to get their revenge. They would find Fiona's body, stuffed in a garbage can. Would she then be put in the position of punishing someone for doing what everyone wanted?

Sophie lifted the gun again. She aimed carefully, glanced over the sight and squeezed the trigger.

-57-

Lot and Clive stood at the head of the crowd as Sophie returned from the basement, the gun hanging limply at her side. She could feel a headache coming on and couldn't remember feeling this tired, but for the first time in a long time she felt confident that she had done the right thing. Maybe, if nothing else, she would be able to sleep without the nightmares rushing in from her fractured conscience. All the doubt and anger felt like it was washing away, as she had just proven to herself that even after all of this, she was still capable of doing what was right.

"So..." Lot looked at her, over at Clive and Meredith and then back at the crowd. He was having trouble actually voicing the question. She looked into his eyes, as well as the faces of all her friends who had become family over the past year. She saw Corrine, looking out at her with an expression that showed curiosity and yet knowing exactly what Sophie had done. The looks she saw on the crowd was that of anticipation, but also fear, not just for their own well-being but for the implications of what they had just brought about. What would this say about their morality, about what they were becoming as a new society, growing from the still burning ashes of that which had come before? Sophie steeled her resolve and gave them their answer.

"I let her go."

-58-

ONE YEAR LATER

Fiona looked out over the vast expanse of valley that stretched away from her. A huge flock of birds swooped down over the trees in formation. It was almost like watching an ocean of wings crashing against some unseen shore, only to scatter and reform to start all over again. She shouldered the bag and resumed walking down the gravel road.

There hadn't been a day since her expulsion from the stadium that she didn't think about it. She usually started off the day cursing the decisions she had made while Nairi's voice cheerfully reminded her that this was likely what she deserved, and how it could have been so much worse.

What did her subconscious know about anything, anyway?

So things had come full circle and she was back to where she started, walking the roads alone, with no one to depend on other than herself. She could live with it. She had to. Her back still protested from the stone she had slept on the night before but that was no matter. She would keep walking because that was what she had to do. At least she was outside. At least the air was crisp and felt new.

At least once a week, she wondered how the community had reacted to Sophie's decision, her final act of mercy. In her darkest moments, she imagined that many of them refused to accept it, combing the countryside in an epic hunt for her that would make Ahab himself shake his head in pity.

Since leaving, she had stuck to back roads, avoiding any cities or towns. She wasn't going anywhere specific, and it had only recently occurred to her that all she was really doing was walking in huge circles, relative to the location of the stadium.

It was idiotic to think that they would ever take her back. But maybe she could use them to her advantage. Even after a few weeks of being out on her own, she had run into a few people spouting off rumors about the place, how a group of survivors had taken over a football stadium and were supporting each other, keeping the bad elements out. There were some who spoke about the shootout in the hushed tones of revered folklore.

She learned to use that. She knew enough to lead people on, mislead them with the promise of something she couldn't deliver and take them for whatever they were carrying. It wasn't ideal, but she had to live, and if one thing was true about survival, it was that everyone had to look out for themselves. There was no room for loyalty in anyone's lives anymore. She smirked at the image of Sophie's "disappointed" face, and shook it away.

At least the amount of rovers on the road was small. The ones in this area could have been mostly killed at the stadium, but Fiona suspected that as things started to settle down, groups just stopped traveling around as much. Certain areas became specific territories, controlled by this person or that group, with less movement between them.

Fiona went to reach for the canteen, but when she lifted it and remembered how light it felt, she returned it to her pack without drinking. Supples were getting very thin, and the downside of being so far out on her own was that when you started to run out of things, it was a lot more serious. There had to be a stream or river nearby.

Mostly, she was tired of only having the voices in her head to talk to. As much as she despised having to carry out the absurd social niceties of the stadium, she did miss the occasional conversation about nothing in particular. It would be nice to have a companion, even for just a little while, to help walk the stress out of her system.

As if on cue, she heard the sound of someone talking up ahead and looked up to see a large oak tree off in the distance, with two people sitting in the shade. The woman was about Fiona's age, attractive enough that she wondered what she was doing with the other, a kid who looked about as awkward as she had ever seen. She could see his lips moving as he talked but his head was bent down, absorbed by a journal he was scribbling in. She couldn't remember how long it had been since seeing anyone writing, for any reason.

No matter. They were as good as any to scam. Fiona pulled the straps of the pack tighter and began to make her way down the slope of the road.

They would make for easy taking.

-59-

Sophie and Lot walked around the top level of the stadium. She glanced down over the field. All signs of anything football related were completely gone, now boasting instead a huge variety of robust crops. The animals ran in and out, still holding strong at a healthy population level. The parking lot was a stark reminder of their lives and the world as it now was. They had left the motorcycles as a tribute to what had happened but the sight of them still made her skin crawl.

There had been some dissension and anger for a while, but she had been surprised at how easily people accepted her decision to let Fiona go. In the end, she had had her fill of killing. Besides, it actually made her feel good to think about Fiona out there every day, getting little reminders of the comfort she had chosen to turn her back on.

"Do you think she'll ever try to come back?" Lot asked. The topic seemed to come up regularly.

"No. You don't think she will, do you?"

"You mean, do I think she's going to come rolling back here with an army at her back?" Lot shrugged. "I doubt that we have anything to worry about. Fiona pretty much hates everyone, and I can't see her getting along with rovers any better than us."

They stopped to lean against the stone wall looking out over the small neighborhood that bordered the edge of the stadium's property. Their population was still dramatically lower than it had been before the attack, but there were also some new people. Every now and then, a lone person or family would come wandering past and would be welcomed. They had been lucky to have an engineer show up a month ago, and she was close to finishing the solar power project that Daniel had started.