Behind the Lens (Behind the Lives) (56 page)

“Maybe
I should just call all of this off, take a break from the both of you.”

“No!”

“It
won’t be forever, just until I get my head right.”

“Your
head will never be right.”

“Well,
fuckin’ thanks.”

“I
didn’t mean it as an insult; your craziness is a good thing. It makes you wild,
unpredictable. I love that.” Kara moved forward, holding her hands up like they
were weapons, and for her they were. “Can I hug you?”

“Why?”

“Because
I’m ruining things with my words, so I want to say sorry with a hug.”

“You
can’t touch me without it being sexual.”

“I
just want a hug, that’s all, and I promise I won’t touch you inappropriately.”

He
breathed out, then nodded. She wrapped her arms around him, and nestled her
head against his chest, like it belonged there. He wondered whether she could
hear his heart beating faster for her. His hands hovered over her back for a
moment, then he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin against her
head, not wanting to let go—even for Beth.

“Oh,
for heaven’s sake,” Jade said as he entered the kitchen. “Tell the woman to
leave before I phone the cops for indecent behaviour again.”

“She’s
just hugging me,” Dante said, pulling away from her, not happy that Jade had
ruined the moment. He turned around and started removing the fresh pasta and
the other groceries from the bags, needing a distraction. He went to put the
ice cream in the freezer, stopping as Kara stepped in front of him.

“Agree
to a date for tomorrow,” she said, “and I promise that I won’t do anything
sexual; I just want to spend time with you. We can go to the beach or the
movies, anything you want.”

“I’m
busy at the studio tomorrow, and I just told ja I want a break.”

“But
you’re working too hard, and I have every right to see you. You’re my husband.”

Dante
shook his head. “Don’t bloody bring that up again, that marriage ain’t real.”

“It
is by law.”

“I
don’t care, I wuz drunk and you lied to me.”

“I
was drunk too.”

“But
you never told me when you found out.”

“Because
you would’ve had it annulled.”

“No,
I wouldn’t have.”

“
Što?
”
she said, her ‘what’ sounding shocked.

“I
actually wanted to marry you, but I didn’t propose cos I thought you’d turn me
down.”

“I
would’ve said yes in a second if it weren’t for Craven, and now he’s dead, we
can make our marriage work.”

“There’s
no marriage.”

“There
is so.”

“For
Christ’s sake, it’s not real, and if I married you, I’d do it sober and in
front of my family.”

“Then
let’s do it.”

“Jesus,
you don’t ever give up, do ya?”

“Not
when it comes to you.”

Jade
opened the fridge. “You two fight like a married couple,” he said, pulling out
a carton of juice. “And by the way, Dante, Beth called. She says she’s on her
way, so you better get Kara out before she shows up.” He walked to the sink,
running a hand over Dante’s arse as he passed.

Kara’s
eyes went big. “He just groped you! Aren’t you gonna do anything?”

“I
can’t be bothered. Like you, he doesn’t listen.”

“But
that’s sexual harassment.”

“Now
you’re playing that card.”

“That’s
not fair. He gets to grope you, but I can’t?”

“He’s
no threat, and there’s no way I’m gonna fuck him—”

“—again,”
Jade added with a smile. “And we’ll see about that.”

“Only
in your dreams,” Dante said, sidestepping Kara to get to the fridge. He stuffed
the cream, meat, and parmesan inside, then yelled at Jade: “Drop that
strawberry!”

Jade
put it into his mouth, sucking it erotically. Dante shook his head. “You’re all
sex mad in this house.”

“Only
over you,” Jade said, pulling the strawberry out. “And you’re the
self-professed sex addict.”

“I
haven’t fucked since...” He frowned, leaving the party unsaid. “By the way, my
psychiatrist agrees with Kara, said that you shouldn’t touch me at all. Though,
I told her it puts me off fucking rather than makes me wanna do it.”

Jade
pulled a sour face at him. “You don’t need to be nasty, and you got hard for me
once. No, twice.”

“I
got hard for money.”

“I’ll
give you more.”

“Nope,
I’m not whoring myself EVER again.”

“I’ll
buy you that new motorbike you want.”

“Jesus,
you’re desperate. Get a fuckin’ boyfriend, so you can leave me alone.” Dante
turned back to Kara, using his hands to usher her down the hallway. Maybe he
should ask Corey if he knew anyone for Jade, because he sort of felt sorry for
the guy, just not enough to give a fuck—literally.

Kara
went to turn back, resisting leaving, but Dante just kept on moving her
forward. He definitely needed to get her out before Beth showed, especially
after the catfight the two had last week, when Beth had showed up before his
date with Kara.

“I
definitely think we should stop this arrangement,” he said, when she turned
around at the door. “I’m sick of being pulled between you two. I only wanna
concentrate on gettin’ my music career up and running, then when I’m ready, I
can think about a relationship again.”

“You
know why Jade’s giving you this music contract, don’t you? He’s sliming his way
into a
relationship
with you. The next thing you know, he’s getting you
drunk and sucking you off.”

“That’s
deffo not gonna happen, and he wouldn’t be putting all this money into me if he
didn’t think I had a chance of becoming successful. And thanks a fuckin’ lot
for showing confidence in my singing.”

“You’re
a fantastic singer, but he’s obsessed with you, and you working with him just
encourages him. It’s going to end badly, I just know it, and I don’t want you
getting hurt again.”

“You’re
wrong, he’s serious ’bout my career, he’s even flying some musicians out to
help me. He’s got this top guitarist coming over from Wales in a few days who’s
played for some huge acts.”

“Who’s
the guitarist?”

“I
can’t remember the dude’s name. I think he has a similar one to a guy Ash used
to know. It has a whole lot of ls in it and ends in
win
. I’ve heard his
tracks, he’s incredible. I can play the guitar, but not that good, and he even
makes his own guitars, and is bringing me one. I’m totally pumped ’bout jamming
with him.”

“What’s
jamming mean?” she asked, looking suspect.

“It’s
playing music together.”

“As
long as it’s not under the sheets.”

“Shit,
he’s a dude, of course it ain’t.”

“He
knows Jade, so I’m assuming he might be gay.”

“And
I’m not, so what the fuck difference does it make if he is?”

“I
suppose so.”

“And
why are you acting all jealous for? You’ve become paranoid lately. You were
never like this before.”

“Guess
Beth threw me.”

Dante
smiled. “Yeah, she’d love to throw you under a train like Jade.”

“Ha
ha, not funny. And back to Jade. Just as long as he’s being straight with you,
I’ll deal with all the time you’re spending together.”

“You
don’t have a choice, and Jade’s never straight.” Dante smiled. “But he’s on the
level with this. We’ve been working really well together in the studio. He
doesn’t touch me at all there. He’s all serious when he walks through the
studio door, and won’t take any of my crap there, a bit of a slave driver
really if I don’t get a track down right.”

“Can
I come and watch you in the studio?”

“Sure.”

“Cool,
I’ll come in tomorrow, then we can go out for dinner afterwards, and I want you
in those tight leather pants Jade bought for you, preferably the red pair.”

“I
ain’t wearing those, they’re made for homos, and I didn’t agree to dinner. I
said no dating tomorrow.”

“You
have to eat and if I’m at the studio then we might as well get a bite together,
and if you don’t like the red pair, wear the white ones instead.”

“The
white ones are shite.”

“Then
the tan ones.”

“I
s’pose those are passable.” He frowned. “And how do ya know ’bout them? Have
you been goin’ through my stuff?”

“
Da
,”
she said, smiling. “And I totally love the new wardrobe. Very sexy.”

“Psycho
bitch, and I won’t wear half of the shit that Jade bought.”

“But
he has great taste.”

“I
don’t think so, and you better leave, cos I don’t want another WWF match between
you and Beth.”

“But
I don’t want to.”

“Too
bad, Beth will be here any minute and I need a shower.” He shuffled her out the
door, then closed it on her as she went to say something, quickly flicking the
lock. He smirked as she swore at him in Croatian, something about wanting to
stuff something up his arse.

He
took to the stairs, clearing two at a time, knowing he had shit all time left
to get ready. Closing his bedroom door behind him, he stripped off his clothes,
fully intending on making Jade wash them as well, which he knew the pris would
do, Jade even more anal than Beth about mess.

He
walked into his ensuite, still not getting over how cool it was to have his own
bathroom. He could definitely get used to this, another reason why he didn’t
want to fail in music, because he didn’t think he could go back to living in
Claydon after having a taste of luxury.

Slipping
into the shower, he turned on the water, sighing as the heat ran over his body,
making him feel better. He grabbed some soap and started washing himself,
stopping as he came to his cock, wondering whether he could ever have sex again
without thinking about that night. But how would he know if he didn’t try? And
fuck, it was hard resisting Kara.

He
ran a hand over his cock, wishing he could let Kara do it—or Beth, because
wanking himself off was getting old fast. It wasn’t even giving him a proper
release, his cock screaming for pussy—
not
his hand. He knew he needed
real sex, but his mind kept telling his cock to fuck off, and not in the way it
was begging him for. But if he relented to Kara she would try to dominate him,
and he didn’t think he could handle it after what Ant had done to him. But she
was a female, so why the hell was he being a pussy about it, because she
wasn’t
anything like Ant. Yeah, she was sexually aggressive, but she loved him,
cared for him, so why couldn’t he give himself over to her, especially since
she was more suited to him than Beth was. But if he relented to Kara he would
have to give up Beth, and he didn’t want to. But he didn’t want to give up Kara
either. He knew he couldn’t go on this way, had to choose between them, no
matter how much he was fighting it. And Jesus, he
had
to come, his balls
were bloody hurting.

Moving
his hand faster, he closed his eyes and brought up an image of Kara’s pierced
nipples, wanting to suck on them so bad, to use his tongue and teeth to play
with the small silver hoops. He groaned, wishing he could let her take him,
wishing he could take her too. He turned off the shower and tilted his head
back, continuing to wank himself, his thoughts going to Beth, her body so
different from Kara’s: sleeker and with smaller, perkier tits. He loved all
tits, didn’t matter whether they were small or big, just as long as they ended
up in his mouth.

He
groaned, imagining sucking Beth’s tits, then Kara’s. He didn’t know who he
wanted more, his mind telling him Beth, while his body telling him Kara. But
his cock needed Kara now, wanted her more than anything, her body so damn
perfect, so beautiful in all its curves. And those tits, fuck, he was a liar,
he liked them more than Beth’s, because they were perfection, so big and full.
“Kara,” he said, now regretting sending her away.

“
Da,
dragi
,” her voice replied.

He
jumped, his eyes shooting open at the same time. Kara was standing on the other
side of the glass, and she was completely naked. “What the fuck?” he gasped, letting
go of his cock. “How’d ja get back in?”

“You
forget: I have a key.” She opened the shower door, then stepped inside, making
him back up into the wall. “Tell me to leave now,” she said, “and I will.”

His
eyes dropped to those beautiful breasts, the nipple rings making him almost
pant with lust.

She
flicked one of them. “You like them, don’t you?”

God,
yes.

“Your
eyes say so much,” she said. “They’re telling me you want me to stay. Is that
true?”

Yes,
no, fuck
“Yeah.”