Being Jamie Baker (25 page)

None of that, though, was as disturbing as the small pile of videotapes and CDs piled on his desk with my name on them. First of all, video tapes? I know Carter is probably pushing fifty, but you’d think a reporter would welcome the digital age. On the bright side, I’m pretty sure there weren’t a bazillion copies of whatever was on those tapes hiding safely on the Internet.

I hit play on the video camera that was still connected to the TV, and my face immediately came on the screen. I was sitting on the porch swing with Ryan at the cabin.

You know how creepy it is when you watch a movie about a serial killer or whatever, and there’s that scene where he’s stalking his next victim? More specifically, when he’s watching them through the bushes or a window or something? Well, it’s five million times creepier when you’re the one being stalked.

I left the video playing, but I knew what that was going to show, so I flipped through the pile of CDs. They all had different dates on them. I popped the one that had today’s date on it in the CD player.

“Jamie?” I heard Ryan ask.

And then I shouted, “Go away!” Or a recording of my voice did.

I wasn’t sure exactly what I was listening to until Ryan said, “I’m so sorry. I was wrong about my friends. But just forget them, okay? I did.”

Sounds familiar, right? “The guy bugged my room! He bugged my freaking room!” This was going too far, even for a stupid tabloid journalist! Coming into my house, going through my stuff. Leaving bugs in my room so that he could hear my conversations? Didn’t Carter know by now that it’s unwise to make me angry? Well, one thing was for sure. None of this stuff was ever going to get out, and Dave Carter wasn’t going to get a single penny from me.

I’d had some fun messing around with my powers in my day, but this? This I was really going to enjoy. I looked around the room, wondering how I was going to do it, but then I saw myself on the TV

and froze at the sight. I was standing at the bottom of the porch steps. My hair was whirling around my head like I was standing in the wake of a jet engine, and there was a hint of a glow radiating off my skin.

It was kind of cool to see actually, until I saw myself open my eyes. They were glowing like a jack-o’-lantern. It was like my yellow eyes had turned into flashlights and were shining through the green filter of my contacts. It was the craziest thing I’d ever seen until I shot bolts of lightning out of my hands. Then
that
was the craziest thing I’d ever seen.

I was stunned. I just stood there watching, with a combination of shock and awe and utter terror, sweeping through me. “How did Ryan not run screaming?” I whispered, still marveling at the sight of what I had become.

“I believe it’s because he was unconscious at the time,” a voice said behind me.

I was startled badly enough to explode the desk lamp, and the power in the whole house went out.

“You know, Jamielynn,” Carter said as he retrieved a flashlight, “for someone with superhearing, you’re awfully easy to sneak up on.”

I hated that he was so right. “I was a little distracted,” I grumbled. “But don’t worry—I’ll be a lot more paranoid from now on.”

“There won’t be any need to be paranoid once the secret’s out. I’m glad to see that you’ve come to your senses so soon. You’re making the right choice.”

“Oh, believe me, I know. And the right choice is not going public with you. I’m not going to let you expose me.”

“But, Jamie”—Carter looked like he was starting to get annoyed again—“just think of how good it will feel not to have to hide your secret anymore. You can’t tell me you like keeping it—I know you don’t. You hate your life.”

Carter was just so sure he had me figured out. But as I stood there staring him down, enraged by his accusation, I realized just how wrong he was. I didn’t hate my life. Not at all, actually. I have the world’s best parents and the world’s most understanding boyfriend. Granted, that probably makes him a little crazy, but he’s really cute, so, you know. I also have the entire continent at my disposal, and that superkissing thing? Yeah, so worth it.

“It’s not so bad,” I said with a sudden burst of confidence. “Sure, I have to keep a secret, but I get to do things like this…”

Carter gulped nervously when I held out my hands. “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see.”

The power in the house had gone out when he startled me, but there was more than enough juice in the power lines that ran behind his house. I took a deep breath and then pulled so much power to me that the walls of the house started to shake. When my hair started flying and my eyes started glowing, Carter’s eyes grew really big. “What are you doing?” he screamed again, only he sounded so nervous that I’m sure he already had it figured out.

“Disposing of evidence,” I answered anyway.

“Jamie, wait! We need this!”

Carter started to reach for the stack of tapes on the desk, but I was just too quick for him. Before he even got a single step I was standing in front of him with my hands pointed at him. “I wouldn’t make me angry right now,” I warned. “You’ve spied on me enough to know that I tend to lose control when I’m emotional.”

“Okay, Jamie,” he said, slowly backing up a few steps. “Quit messing around. You could kill someone.”

“Then I suggest you get out of here.”

I pointed my hand at the video camera, and when I zapped it, I accidentally got the TV too, blowing them both into a million pieces.

“Jamie!”

“I’m a little busy,” I snapped as I aimed at the computer next. “You know, this would be a lot more fun if you had nicer stuff. Haven’t you ever heard of The Mac Store? Seriously, digital camcorders?

Laptops? MP3 players?” With that, I blew the computer into tiny pieces.

“Jamie, stop! I promise I won’t tell anyone. We’ll find another way.”

“It really won’t matter if you tell anyone now. Once I destroy all of this, no one will believe you anyway. Without proof you’re just another sleazy tabloid journalist. In fact, I doubt anyone would believe you even
with
proof. But I’d really rather not risk it.” I looked at the wall covered with my photos, and then smiled at the electrical outlet at the bottom.

“I hope you have fire insurance.”

“Fire insurance?”

I didn’t bother to explain myself. I shot a bolt of lightning into the socket and sparks flew everywhere. “The problem with old crappy houses like this isn’t the wiring,” I said as the house caught fire. “It’s the wallpaper.”

Within seconds, the room was ablaze, and the photos that had covered it were gone. Carter had finally seen enough, and he tried to make a run for it, but I wasn’t quite finished with him yet. I’m not really a violent person by nature, but throwing that jerk felt really good.

I picked him up by the back of his shirt and flung him across the room. He took a pretty good hit when he slammed into the wall, but he’d be fine. I stood over him with the fire burning quickly out of control around us, and I smiled when I saw his fear.

“Please!” he begged.

I let him stew for a minute, and then, when the ceiling started to collapse, I picked him up and flew out the door. “You can’t hurt me now,” I said confidently, dropping him to the ground. “Your proof is gone.”

“It’s not me that wants to hurt you. What are you going to do about Visticorp?”

“They have no proof either.”

“They’ll get it.”

“I’ll never use my powers again. I can control them now, remember?”

“You’ll slip up, and they’ll be waiting.”

“Then I’ll take care of them!”

I was done being threatened. I borrowed a little more energy from the power lines because that whole hair-on-fire, glowing-eyes look is kind of intimidating, and I wanted the dramatic effect. What can I say? I am my mother’s child.

Just to prove I was serious, I grabbed Carter’s hand and gave him enough juice to drop him to the ground. “If I ever catch you spying on me again, I’ll do a lot more than burn your house down.” He looked sufficiently scared, and I could now see the lights of the fire trucks coming up the street.

“That’s my cue,” I said.

And then I was gone.

* * * * *

I didn’t come home for two days. I didn’t mean to cause my parents a world of worry, but I needed some space. I mean, I did just become an arsonist. That’s a lot to wrap your head around for someone my age. Plus, all these events happening in my life lately had dredged up a past I’d spent the last year and a half trying to forget.

I had never really come to terms with what happened to Derek; I simply buried it. Telling Ryan the truth, actually saying it out loud, forced me to deal with the fact that I was responsible for taking a life. I hated to use the term
murderer
, but how else do you describe what I did?

After nearly two days of thinking about it, though, I finally found a little clarity and went home to face the music.

I’ve never seen my parents quite like they were. I don’t exactly know how to describe it, but angry is not the right word. It doesn’t seem like nearly enough. I let them yell and cry and hug and kiss me until they had it all out of their systems. Then, once they’d settled down, the only thing I could think to say was “I’m sorry.”

“You could have told us about Derek,” my mom whimpered.

“I couldn’t. You loved him too. Everybody loved him! And I killed him!” After that my mother and I were bawling in each other’s arms again. My father stepped in quickly, though, not wanting to lose focus on the point of this discussion.

“Jamie,” he said, pulling me away from my mother, “your mom and I think it’s time you see somebody.” He hesitated for a moment out of guilt, but then looked at me very sternly. “This is getting out of hand. You need help that your mom and I just can’t give you.”

“You want to send me away?” I gasped out of sheer horror. “You want to let people experiment on me?”

If I thought Ryan was tying my heart in knots, I was mistaken. I’d never felt pain like I did right then. I knew that my parents might be afraid after learning the truth about Derek, and I knew they would worry, but I never in a million years thought they would betray me.

“Of course not, Jamie! I meant counseling. A psychiatrist. Not a scientist. Honey, how could you think we would ever?”

“Because I’m a murderer? I killed someone! Aren’t you scared of me?”

“You are not a murderer,” my father argued.

After two straight days’ thinking about it, I knew this was true. Ever since my accident, I’d not only blamed myself for Derek’s death, but I’d always questioned whether or not I allowed it to happen. I was so mad at him that night. I hated him that night. Of course I didn’t fry him on purpose, but could I have stopped myself?

I wasn’t sure until the other night, but the answer is no. I couldn’t have stopped what I did to Derek. I knew that now. See, I wanted to kill Carter when he told me he was going to expose me to the world, and I could have, so easily, but I didn’t. Not because I didn’t want to, or even thought it would be wrong, but because I couldn’t. I didn’t have it in me to kill him. And I wouldn’t have had it in me to kill Derek either.

“I know,” I said, forcing a sad smile to my mom and dad. “Derek’s death really was an accident. I understand that now. I don’t need a psychiatrist. Honest. I mean, what am I supposed to tell one anyway? That I’m messed up because I fried my boyfriend with my super-electric-girl powers?” My parents both opened their mouths to argue, but neither could come up with anything.

“Mom? Dad? No doctor is going to be able to understand what I’m going through. The only people that can do that are you guys. Well, and Ryan now. But don’t worry. With you here to help me, I’ll be fine. I’m already starting to feel better.”

“What do you mean ‘and Ryan now’?”

I didn’t understand why my dad was so angry all of a sudden until I saw my mother cringe.

“You didn’t tell him?” I asked.

“Well, I…” My mother stumbled over her explanation because she knew she was busted. When she couldn’t think up a good excuse she shrugged in defeat and snapped at my father in annoyance. “I knew you would overreact.”

I love my mom. I love my dad too, but I really, really love my mom. She’s always got my back. It would have been nice if she’d told me she’d covered for me before I went and told my father that Ryan knew about my powers, but I’ve still got to love her for the effort. And at least now we were busted together.

“Okay, Dad, look, don’t freak out.”

Yeah, my dad didn’t take my advice. “How much does he know?” he roared.

I cringed. “Everything.”

My dad wanted to yell at me, and he tried to, but when he was finally able to form words they were directed at my mother. “You knew about this?”

“Honey, it’s really not that big a deal.”

“Not a— But— It’s— He—”

My dad could no longer form a complete sentence, and the vein in his forehead was back and popping out farther than ever.

“Dad! Could you calm down a little? I can hear your heart beating, and trust me, that can’t be a healthy pace.”

“Ryan’s a good boy,” Mom promised.

“He won’t say anything,” I added. “He wants me to be safe.”

“And actually”—Mom wrapped her arm around my dad in an attempt to keep him from physically exploding—“it’s probably better this way.”

I was just as surprised as my dad by my mom’s statement. I mean, I thought it was better that he knew, but I didn’t understand why she thought it was better.

“It will be safer,” my mom explained. “He knows he has to be careful.”

“And he’s helped me so much already! He’s the one who said I had to learn to control my powers.

He’s been teaching me yoga and meditation so that I don’t cause as many power outages.”

“Yoga?” my mom asked surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah! It’s great!” I said excitedly, getting sidetracked. “You should totally try it.” My mom and I got a little carried away for a second about the health benefits of yoga and completely forgot about the topic at hand until my father plopped down in his chair, utterly exasperated.

My mother and I couldn’t help but giggle at the poor guy. He was always outnumbered in our house.